Neil (piezoelectric) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2019-08-31 21:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | #december 2017, jane, jane x neil, neil |
Who: Jane & Neil
Where: Library
When: Wednesday 27th afternoon and Thursday 28th
morning
Status: Complete
Of all the places Neil could be stuck in the fog the library wasn't the worst one. He imagined being stuck at a grocery store would be far worse but he really wished he was at home by himself. He loved the library but he didn't love the people who came there. The weird man who came in every day to use the computer and print pages and pages of nonsense, the smelly old lady who loved their microfilm machine, and last but not least the children. These were not people he wanted to be trapped with anywhere, ever. And then there was Jane because of course Jane had to be at the library when the fog rolled in.
Neil did not mention the painting to her and she still hadn't asked but he had been doing a pretty good job of avoiding her. He was staff, she was a customer, there were boundaries and he was oh so very busy. It became clear pretty soon that nobody was going out into that weather. The fog was completely blinding and freezing, despite it being winter nobody was really dressed to deal with that sort of damp and all encompassing cold. It wasn't so bad for an hour or two. There was plenty to do at a library, even when the phones stopped working and the internet went down. Books everywhere! Magazines, DVDs... but not enough food.
There was leftover cake from a staff birthday party, plenty of coffee and tea, some lunches they had brought in but no vending machine or proper dining hall. The longer this weather stretched out, the more nervous people got. At least they all seemed to have grouped up in separate places so Neil didn't really have to deal with them. The kids' section of the library was cozy, they had plenty of pillows and blankets because of the weekly storytime so that's where a lot of people went. Despite the allure of comfort, Neil opted for the history section. It wasn't comfortable, but it was quiet and he could read and not be pestered to do things as the Only Man on shift. It was ridiculously sexist anyway. His fellow librarians were far more capable of doing some of those men-only things than he was. Let Sophia go out into the fog to get help or food. That woman was a lot sturdier physically than he was!
Jane was fascinated with the fog. It reminded her of something she couldn't quite place, but something deep in her gut told her it wasn't just your run of the mill fog that would come and go quickly. It did kind of suck to be stuck in the library, even though there was plenty to read to keep her occupied. And she couldn't really find a quiet, private place to delve into anyone's dreams. At least not yet. She doubted anyone was sleeping at the moment anyway.
She also knew Neil was avoiding her, but that was just par for the course so it didn't bother her. Eventually she came to the realization that they might be there all night, given the fog showed no sign of thinning out or dissipating all together. After a while she put the book she had been reading back on the shelf and decided to find him. It wasn't terribly surprising to find him hiding in the stacks. Neil was not hospitable, and he was not the kind of guy to take charge. The library visitors stuck with them were on their own, more or less.
Jane walked down the aisle toward Neil, looking at the history books as she passed. She paused briefly and pulled out a book on Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI. "Did you know Marie Antoinette's last words before they executed her was 'Pardon me, sir, I did not do it on purpose.' because she stepped on her executioner's shoe." Jane replaced the book with a sigh. "I would have probably said... fuck you, you deserve it, you know? Dick." She grinned. "This is probably your worst nightmare, huh? Being more or less trapped in a building with people."
Neil was currently reading The Blue and Gray so he had managed to convince himself things could be worse. He was not fighting in a war for one, that was definitely an upside. His outlook became a little more grim when Jane approached him and he couldn't focus on the book anymore as he waited for her to speak - because she would speak, of course she would. Either she would ask about the painting or prod him about some powers he was supposed to have or, well, who knew what Jane would think of to tell him. Marie Antoinette was nowhere near what he expected but it was just an ice-breaker and of course she didn't linger on that topic.
"I would prefer to be at home," he admitted, not fully committing to the fact that yes, it was one of his worst nightmares. He really should have gotten a job that involved only books but it was hard to find such a job these days. Every profession seemed to be a colorful quilt of varying jobs and Neil hated it. "I don't suppose you have weed on you," he said, tucking his unruly hair behind his ears as he looked up at Jane. He didn't often admit to the habit but they were stuck overnight in a shitty situation so why the hell not. At worst Jane now knew he smoked and she might have easily guessed that already, at best she would have something to smoke. It might be risky smoking something belonging to Jane but Neil was at a point where he was willing to take that risk.
Very rarely was someone like Neil able to surprise her, but he managed to pull it off and Jane stared at him, dumbfounded for a brief moment, before she laughed. "Seriously?" Neil smoking weed? If he got high why was he always so uptight? Jane walked over to him, pulling her bag off her shoulder as she sat down against the stacks facing him. With her bag in her lap, she began to root around inside of it before pulling out what looked like a sunglasses case. Opening it, she turned it to show Neil. Three joints and a lighter. "For being such a small town, you guys have some pretty hardcore dealers here. Take one." He could have his own because she was sure he would cringe at the thought of having to put something in his mouth that had touched her lips.
Neil really didn't know what to expect from Jane. She might just as well have launched into an anti-drug speech and then he really would have hated her but no, she came through and something eased a little inside of him at the sight of the goods. This would calm him and while a part of him insisted they should go smoke it outside... well, the circumstances didn't exactly allow for it. His boss wasn't there, the only other librarian on watch was with the kids on the other end of the building and the rest of the staff, well, they weren't snitches. Even if they were, Neil didn't really care right now. Things sucked and he felt bad. He wanted to go home, have a nice cup of tea and a joint, water his plants and read something in peace. She was right about him not wanting to share and he might have insisted on taking the first couple of inhales and let that be enough but no, Jane came laden with gifts and he accepted the joint gratefully. "I think there may be more need for it in a small town like this one," he muttered as he lit up, then breathed in deeply. It might be shitty weed for all he knew, but it was weed.
"That's probably true," she murmured. Jane pulled out one for herself and took the lighter back. It was decent weed, at least. She believed in the 'you get what you pay for' mentality, and it wasn't like she had a ton of money to spend on pot. Jane said nothing for a while, enjoying the silence and the weed until she was feeling comfortably buzzed. She wanted to ask Neil about Alex, but it didn't really feel like the right time. Not when they were trapped in a library surrounded by fog. And talking about AIR might make him get up and run off so she opted to wait on that particular topic. "Are you still hearing thoughts from the other dreamers?" she asked finally, stretching her legs out as much as she could in front of her. "Or having any other weird side effects?"
"Every now and then I will catch a stray thought," Neil replied. "But Carson and I practiced blocking off our thoughts and that helped a little." It took a lot of effort he thought and he wasn't so sure he could keep up that imaginary brick wall without focusing but hopefully it stayed up even when he was busy. At least he hadn't heard as much lately. "No other side effects. What you did really helped." He wasn't entirely happy about admitting that since he already felt like he owed her a lot and she didn't know just how big that favor had been but fair was fair and he was grateful despite his reluctance to show it.
Jane sat thoughtfully for several moments before she exhaled some smoke up between the stacks. "I don't think I helped anything," she said finally. "All I did was see what was coming for you. Maybe you haven't had any dreams since then but..." She trailed off, not entirely sure she wanted to be honest about her thoughts on the whole thing. It might freak him our, or piss him off. Jane exhaled through her nose and studied Neil. "Don't let your guard down. And don't close off everyone, even mentally. You might need each other, Neil."
Neil wasn't normally the optimistic type but he needed to be when it came to this and Jane's pessimism irked him. The weed helped him keep his temper in check, making it more of an irritation than a full blown fit of anger. "Whatever you did, it helped," he said. "I can't live the rest of my life in fear it'll come back." He already lived his life in fear of a large, shadowy institution, adding monsters to the mix was just too much. "I'm not shutting anyone out. I'm sure I could reach any one of them now if I wanted to." He took another drag of his joint, then put it out on the floor, finding a tissue in his pocket to wipe up the ashes once the embers died down.
"You should make sure that's the case," Jane pointed out. "Because you never know when you might need them. I'm just saying..." She squinted thoughtfully as she searched for the right words. She was starting to feel pleasantly high and she kind of wished there was a hot guy around somewhere in the library for when the horniness kicked in. "I don't think you should look at the telepathy as some kind of lingering side effect like you told Vex and Lem. I think it's just another step for... whatever is happening. But it could be useful for you guys. So... use it."
She was right. Neil really hated it when she was right but he still had to admit to it. The phones didn't work, the internet didn't work, they couldn't go anywhere but the four of them had this means of communication. If that didn't work they would know for sure this fog wasn't normal and they were dealing with more than just technical difficulties. He pursed his lips in thought, then held up a hand as a sign for her to give him a moment as he closed his eyes and focused on that brick wall he was trying to maintain in his head. At first he considered dismantling it but then... it was his head, he could do whatever he wanted, so he made a door. Let the door open and then speak, focus on the others and just speak. He kept it simple. Are you guys okay?
He expected them to have their walls up too, maybe they wouldn't hear him but then he got thoughts back, thoughts that weren't his own. "It's working," he whispered to Jane and was it weird that this made him very excited? Where are you? he asked and the answers were less exciting because they were all trapped, just like him. Nobody was anywhere useful, nobody knew anything and then Nic and Carson just kept talking - thinking - at him and it started getting to be too much. "God, they're very chatty," he groaned but the weed was kicking in and it was different from the weed he usually smoked so he felt... kind of giddy. It was weird and unnatural but it made him laugh. "Oh my god, Nic Castell won't shut up."
Jane had really expected Neil to argue with her and refuse to open his mind again, but then he seemed to be doing it and she grinned as she took one last pull from the joint in her hand and then carefully put it out. "Maybe he's lonely and he's excited for the company," she pointed out. God, it was weird to see and hear Neil laugh, let alone smile. He was always so damn dour about everything. "Are you able to put the wall back up?" she asked, not that he had to, but she wanted to know how easy it had become for him to let them in and shut them out.
"I don't even know if the wall really works," Neil whispered, as if it was a naughty little secret. He knew it worked with Carson but that had been such a concentrated effort, he really had no idea if the wall stayed up when he wasn't thinking about it. Things had been easier lately though so perhaps it did something for him. "They're all stuck somewhere too. Nic's at home with his sister, Carson is at the gym. Jules is... She's not really talking to us. She's at home with some other girl." He thought he could even get a glimpse of said girl but he didn't know if that was just his imagination or reality. That was the fun thing about telepathy, it was hard to tell what was a stray thought and what was the real thing - especially when he was really starting to feel high. "None of them know anything. I wish I had this link with some authority."
Jane snickered. "I wouldn't want to talk to you guys either if I was a teenage girl. Except for Carson. He's pretty hot." She lifted her brows suggestively and then drew her knees up to curl her arms around them. "I bet you no one in a position of authority knows anything about this either. It came on pretty quick and if we're stuck here, and your friends are stuck wherever they are... we kind of have to just wait and see what happens." A giggle escaped her. "It's too bad we didn't get stuck at the arcade or somewhere fun, you know? At least we would have something to do."
Neil wasn't sure how he felt about Jane talking about just one of them being hot but he couldn't refute it either. Carson was hot, he just didn't like thinking about those things. He wrinkled his nose at the mention of the arcade, giving her a wide-eyed look of horror. "So loud, no," he said. "Not fun at all. We have plenty to do here. Look at all those books! We even have movies to watch if you get tired of reading. Music to listen to. This is much better than the arcade." He would have preferred to be stuck at home, of course, but the library was infinitely better than some arcade with all its noise and rowdy teenagers.
Jane thought they were all good looking in their own way, but she wasn't about to tell Neil he was hot. He would probably combust from the awkwardness. "I guess," she said, looking around at the books stacked beside and above her. "I'm not too fond of being stuck here though. Getting stuck anymore brings back bad memories." Closing her eyes, Jane rested her head back against the stack of books behind her. "You seem pretty calm though. I mean, you did before the weed. Is it the books? Or are you just used to stuff like this happening."
"It's just fog," Neil said stubbornly because he needed to believe it. "If it's anything like last time we're safe as long as we stay inside." He wasn't even sure if he believed it but he needed to. That seemed to be the one way to survive living in Point Pleasant; bury your head in the sand, avoid trouble, stay indoors. "You're not exactly upset either," he pointed out. "Before the weed too." He did feel better after the weed, like maybe he could get through this night without losing his mind and snapping at people.
"Think about what you just said." Jane opened her eyes to peer across at him. "It's just fog... we're safe as long as we stay inside. If we have to stay inside to stay safe, it's not just fog. It's Point Pleasant fog, and that's bad. But you're right, I'm calm. Probably because even if it's really bad fog, I've dealt with some scary stuff, so maybe it takes more to freak me out than a normal person. Maybe the same goes for you too."
"Even if it's just normal fog, staying inside is still safer," Neil told her and he could feel his irritation somewhere beneath the surface of the comfortable buzz, muted and toothless so that was nice because he didn't want to be irritated right now. "It's freezing cold out there and visibility is practically zero." Inside was safer even without the fog, or at least he had thought so before the strange dreams and mirror-incidents. Now he wasn't quite so sure. "But you may be right. Maybe I just have bad news fatigue."
"Have you ever thought about moving?" Jane squinted her eyes thoughtfully. "Wait, have I already asked you that before? I can't remember. Of course, I can't judge you for staying here since I came back. Though it wasn't to settle down and stick my head in the sand." Though Jane had to give Neil some credit for actually trying to figure out the dream issue. And going with her to see Vex and Lem, even though he didn't want to. She grinned. "Did you have a nice Christmas at least?"
"I went away for university," Neil told her. "Something about this place it... It pulls you back." He was loathe to admit it but it was true and now he was home and despite the terror and the occasional strange event, he felt calmer here, like there was a drug in the air and being away for too long gave him withdrawals. "You came back," he added, deciding not to talk about Christmas. It had been tolerable but he didn't enjoy discussing his family any more than he enjoyed spending time with them.
"I came back because I wanted answers," Jane said. "But who knows, maybe I would have come back even if I couldn't remember what happened to us. It seems I wasn't the only one either. Now I don't know if I'm ever going to leave." Maybe one day she would. Or maybe she would be taken by AIR again. Or killed. The future was uncertain, though it didn't scare Jane. She tended to take things as they came. There was no point in planning for anything else.
Maybe that was why Neil felt drawn to Point Pleasant; unfinished business. He'd never thought of it that way but maybe that was it. If they managed to somehow put an end to AIR - unlikely as that was - and if this nightmare ever ended, maybe he'd be able to leave without spending every second feeling like he was being drawn back. "How likely do you think it is?" he asked quietly. "That you'll find any answers." It all felt so impossibly big, like going against a behemoth. Then again, a human could be brought down by tiny bacteria so... thinking of it in that way was a little more hopeful. He huffed with slight amusement. "Maybe we're germs, Jane."
Jane was feeling buzzy and high and not at all defensive, so she grinned when Neil mentioned them potentially being germs. "If we're germs, they made us that way," she pointed out. "I don't know how likely it is we'll find answers, but I need to at least try. What if that building is behind a lot of the horrible stuff that happens here? What if they're orchestrating everything somehow? I want to know. I don't know where answers will lead me, but..." She shrugged. "I'm going to try anyway."
On some level Neil knew the weed was probably causing some of his thoughts but that didn't make them less valid. Maybe they even enhanced them and his mouth slowly dropped open and his eyes widened as he thought about it. Point Pleasant had been weird for a very long time but maybe AIR compounded that weirdness, maybe Jane was onto something. It didn't exactly fuel his desire to fight them, it made it all the more impossibly big but it was still a revelation. "It should have all stopped when it burned down," he whispered. "But it didn't. How deep does it go?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "But maybe we should stop assuming this is the only place they were doing what they were doing. Maybe when this building burned down, they just used another, somewhere else. And when enough time passed, they started to rebuild here. This place like... what's the word." Jane closed her eyes and hummed for a moment before speaking again. "Intensifies? Exacerbates? I think AIR uses Point Pleasant like some kind of turbo boost to what they're trying to create." She cracked an eye open to look at Neil. "That made sense to me in my head."
"Amplifies it," Neil said in continued whisper. It didn't feel right to speak out loud about these things, no matter where they were. "It's too big, Jane. It's like a hydra, you cut off one head and it grows two in its stead. You are no Hercules and I am no Iolaus, how do we do this?" If he stuck to the greek myth he could even say that the had quite literally tried cauterizing the wound since the building had burned down when they escaped and that hadn't been enough. How were they going to proceed? Maybe Jane's new friends were the answer but Neil wasn't so sure they wouldn't just go missing too.
"Amplify!" Jane lifted her arms in victory when he finally said the word she had been trying to think of. "That's it. Amplify." Satisfied she dropped her arms back onto her knees, refocusing on Neil's worry. He was right, on some level. This was way bigger than the two of them. "It's not just us anymore, Neil. It's Vex. And that preacher guy, I forget his name. And maybe Alex... I know you know him. I mean, I just... I don't have a plan yet, but I will. I just want to find out if they're taking kids again, doing to them what they did to us. And I know you don't want to believe it, but there's something inside of you too. They were creating weapons, and that's what we are."
The mere idea that Neil was a weapon made him laugh, just a little at first but then he slowly lost control of it, snickering quietly but persistently. He wasn't even a shield; a tool at best, some small tool like a paperweight or a labeling machine. Not a weapon at all. Jane was a weapon, he could see that. She was powerful and scary enough. Neil. A weapon. God, he was still snickering. He finally huffed a little as he let it go, shaking his head in amusement before tilting it back against the stacks and looking at Jane. "Why'd you give me that painting?" he asked and while he'd been absolutely certain he didn't want to talk about it before, right now he felt stoned and at ease, like nothing could hurt him.
His laughter was contagious, even if she didn't know what she was laughing about. Or maybe she did. Neil as a weapon was pretty funny. But maybe once he realized his ability, it wouldn't be as amusing anymore. Anyway, it still felt good to laugh, even if it was brought upon by weed. It was also probably the weed that prompted Neil to ask about the painting. Jane had assumed he would avoid mentioning it unless she did it first. As for why she gave it to him? "You're my friend, and it was Christmas. Friends give each other gifts, don't they? And I was proud of how it turned out, so I thought you would like it." Yeah, right. He was probably appalled, and she knew he would be. But that was part of the appeal of giving it to him.
Neil stared at her for a moment, his brows drawn together and a skeptical smile that was really more of a grimace curling his lips. "I hated it," he told her honestly. "You must have known I would hate it." He might regret this conversation later but right now it was easy to talk to Jane, he could even say he liked sitting there with her, feeling at ease thanks to the drugs in his system. It was good weed, different from his but good. "What was it even suppose to mean?" he added. "It looked like..." He wrinkled his nose. "You knew I'd hate it."
"Oh." Jane knew he would probably not like the subject matter, but hearing that he hated it made her want to pout. She had thought it was pretty great, as far as her paintings went. "It wasn't supposed to mean anything." Jane crossed her arms a bit defensively against her chest. "I paint the dark things I see sometimes, in my dreams. Or someone else's dream. I thought it was good. Two worlds coming together. Insidious, but erotic. What didn't you like about it?"
She had literally just said the two exact things Neil didn't like about the painting. Insidiious and erotic were not things that went well together in Neil's mind. "It was dark and disturbing," he said, a bit surprised at how she was reacting. He'd expected her to laugh because yes, she knew he'd hate it and that was why she'd given it to him. "It looked like that man - that creature - was hurting her." Raping her, but he didn't want to say that. "It was well done though," he added feebly because he did have to give her credit for that. She was talented. "You've seen that in someone's dream?"
"He wasn't hurting her. And even if he was, sometimes pain is akin to pleasure," Jane pointed out. There it was again. The urge to pout, or demand he look at it more closely to see what she intended. Then again, Jane knew better than anyone that art was subjective, and she knew Neil would probably be uncomfortable looking at it. But art was sometimes uncomfortable too! Jane tried not to huff too loudly, but at least he said it was well done. Honestly, she was going to go to his apartment sometime and make sure he had it hanging up somewhere. "It was my dream," she admitted after a moment. "A couple weeks ago. When I woke up, I sketched it out quickly to remember it until I got around to doing the painting. But I've seen a lot of twisted things when I dreamwalk. Nightmares just happen to be the most interesting. Those images stay with me more than the other stuff."
That didn't really surprise Neil. Jane was a dark person and he had known that since they first met. Pain being akin to pleasure poked at something inside him he didn't want to examine too closely and he shook his head, a bit bewildered. "I suppose..." He wasn't sure how to finish that. He could understand on some level? He didn't feel like he could. He had a fascination with history and so much of history was violent, bloody, terrible. Maybe he could relate in some way to that. He has just never thought of it as erotic. Then again he didn't think of many things as erotic and maybe that aspect of the painting had bothered him more than the implied violence. "I never equated pain with pleasure. But I can see how violence may be fascinating."
"Then you haven't felt the right kind of pain," Jane said. She didn't want to take a deep dive into all the ways pain could feel good. "But violence is fascinating. To an extent, anyway. There's a line." Jane sighed and rested her head back against the books behind her again. "I'll paint you something else sometime. Something I see in your dreams instead. Then maybe you'll like it."
Neil wasn't so sure something from his dreams was something he'd want on his wall. If Jane really wanted to paint something for him, she should be asking what sort of thing he'd want. For that matter he wasn't really a fan of paintings in general but there were some images he did enjoy and he could even imagine Jane being capable of painting such things. "I like paintings of battles," he offered up, needlessly. "Such as the Lake Erie one... Birch? Samuel Birch? No... What was his name?" He could see the painting in his mind's eye but unable to conjure up the artist's name it was somewhat useless information. "Naval battle in the second war of independence. It's fascinating, really."
Jane gave that some thought, her brow quirked before she shook her head. "But you can buy those kind of paintings. Stores are full of them. It's... different if its from a dream. It's personal." What fun was it if she could walk into any art store and buy a painting of a battle? Jane suddenly tensed, her eyes widening a touch. "Oh shit. I should've drawn what I saw. When I pulled your dreams together and saw that creature. I tried to explain it to you all, but... I should have just sketched it." She grabbed her bag and tore it open to find her small sketchbook. "That way you guys know what I know. Do you want to see?"
"Yes!" Neil exclaimed and what he meant to say was no but he was swept up by her enthusiasm. Logically he didn't want to know - shouldn't want to know - because he was sure that thing was made of nightmares and far worse than the painting she'd gifted him. But it made sense in the moment and he sat up straighter, eyes wide open as he watched her get her tools ready.
Jane stretched out her legs and set her sketchpad on her lap. She flipped the pages until she found a blank one, and with her pencil she began to outline the monster she had seen in their dreams. Black, thick and angled, sharp teeth shining inside of a dark, gaping hole and long, bony fingers with claws curled at the end of them. She paused and grabbed one of the colored pencils from her bag to add the dark red eyes, almost distorted because they had been fading in and out of its face when she saw it in the dream. She had no idea if it had legs or anything, because it had been so low to the ground, moving like a shadow. Her tongue peeked out between her teeth in concentration as she finished, and once she was done, she handed the sketchpad to Neil.
Jane was a talented artist and even if this was just a sketch it was good enough. Too good, actually, as it completely ruined Neil's buzz, sinking his mood from honest to god perky (rare for him) to morose and terrified. "That... That's the thing from our..." He couldn't even say it. Jane had told them something had them in the dream and it had apparently been scared off when there was an intruder but he hadn't fully grasped just how horrifying it was. Despite Jane's words he'd pictured... just a shadow. Maybe his brain just didn't want to picture anything worse than that. Now he wondered if he should share it with the others. There was a part of him that said that of course information should be shared, that was why he was a damn librarian in the first place, but another part said no, no, no, nobody should have to see this thing, especially knowing it had been invading their lives for real. His conclusion was to wait, that was a good compromise for now. This wasn't something they needed to know when they were all trapped in the fog. "How... big is it?" he asked and instantly regretted it.
"I don't know for sure," Jane admitted. "In the dream, I thought it was a tree trunk, until it started to move. But it stayed close to the ground before coming up behind Carson. It was tall then, but I don't even know it was at full height." She glanced down at the sketch. "But you haven't had anymore dreams, right?" Jane didn't think that meant anything, but he looked pretty terrified and she didn't want Neil to sink further into fear. "And it hasn't hurt any of you, except to make you telepathic, anyway. Which is kind of cool, when it's not creepy."
Neil thought the damn thing had hurt them enough what with the nosebleeds and making them sleepwalk out into the streets. He didn't say as much, frowning at the sketch before leaning back again and staring up at the comforting row of old books in front of him. "I suppose you think it's beautiful in a way," he said since Jane had strange ideas about beauty and pain. He wasn't trying to be a jerk about it so he sighed softly and added, "And you seem to have scared it off. No more dreams."
"I think it's fucking creepy is what I think," Jane said, taking the sketchpad back. If her phone worked, she could send it to the others, but that would have to wait. "And it bruised the hell out of me, so no, I don't think it's beautiful. Maybe fascinating in a weird, morbid way, but that's about it. And I don't think I scared anything off. It didn't seem scared of me, anyway. But... I'm glad you guys aren't dreaming about it anymore." Maybe things were just progressing, whatever that might mean. But she didn't want to purposely bum Neil out. Let me stay optimistic about it all. "I'm going to send this to the others when my phone works again."
"Maybe scared is too strong of a word," Neil sighed. "More like... It saw that you saw it and it didn't like to be seen so it left." Maybe that was too optimistic but Neil was so scared of so many things, constantly paranoid about being kidnapped again, or killed. He really couldn't add more to his plate. Just because Jane mentioned the phone he pulled his out of his pocket to look at it. No signal yet. He hadn't really expected there to be but it was still disappointing. His butt was starting to ache from sitting on the floor so long so he slowly got to his feet and stretched a little. "I'm going back to the cafeteria. I could use some tea."
That was very optimistic thinking, bordering on stupid, but Jane kept that to herself. That creature was not going to be afraid of her, whether she had meant to be there or not. It had even attacked her, but she opted against reminding him of that as well. They were actually talking and if she doused his wishful thinking with ice water, he may never want to talk about it again. "I'll go with you," she said, because what else was she going to do? "Maybe get some more of that cake. You guys have vending machines in here?"
"Just one, in the cafeteria," Neil replied. It only sold soda and snacks and he honestly had no idea when it was last stocked since it wasn't his job to take care of it and he never used it. It was something at least, though it wouldn't last long with all the people here if this fog stayed put. It wouldn't, he told himself. This too shall pass.
It didn't pass, not that day at least and not that night either. Spending the night at the library was a nightmare. Sure, there were some couches and the kids' section had pillows but these were all occupied by... well. Kids. Neil honestly thought the damn kids could sleep on the floor since their bodies could handle more shit than an adult's body but he wasn't about to say that to anyone, knowing full well people were assholes when it came to child welfare. He was more concerned with his own welfare and right now it was grim. He stayed awake most of the night and his only comfort was tea and some more of Jane's weed. When he finally did sleep he had shitty dreams about there being monsters in the fog and Nic standing outside the window frantically trying to get his attention.
He woke up with a start and his body was aching because he'd fallen asleep sitting at the staff table, resting his head on his arms. It was not an ideal sleeping position and he stood up with a groan, stretching carefully. He needed to walk, to move and get his body loose. Also? Coffee.
Jane had curled up in a corner and slept, using her coat as a pillow. She hadn't slept deeply, but she got enough rest despite the discomfort of the floor that she didn't feel too groggy once she woke. She used the restroom and tied her hair up into a ponytail, wishing she could shower. Damn this fog. Once she swished her mouth out with water, she left the ladies room and walked to the employee's breakroom where she figured she would find Neil. He was there and looked tired as fuck, but that was to be expected.
"Sleep okay?" Jane asked, even if she knew the answer just by looking at him.
Neil shook his head even if he suspected that Jane indeed already knew the answer. If he looked half as bad as he felt then there was no mistaking it. "I'm going to walk a little," he muttered, twirling his finger to indicate the little circle he was thinking about taking. He didn't suffer from claustrophobia - if anything, he enjoyed smaller spaces more than he did wide ones - but being stuck somewhere was starting to get to him. He might not be a very physical person but even a bookworm could benefit from a stroll.
Jane stifled a yawn, wishing she was home with a hot shower. And good coffee. What would they do if this fog didn't let up? It was Point Pleasant so she was imagining a dark descent into cannibalism. "Want me to come with?" She gave him a pointed look. "I mean, even if you say no, I'll probably still come anyway." Because what else did she have to do here? It wasn't like she could concentrate on reading or anything like that, and Jane sort of wanted to avoid the restless kids.
Neil just gave her a tired nod, well aware she would follow him before she even said so. If Jane wanted to do something she generally did, no matter what anyone said. "I can't believe this fog hasn't let up," he sighed as they headed out of the cafeteria. "If I was a religious man I sometimes think I might believe we were actually in some purgatory or cursed." As a non-religious man he wasn't sure what to make of everything that happened. He did feel cursed though, unable to leave this town that kept throwing horrible things at him and everyone else who lived in it.
"Well... I mean, we are in a cursed town," she pointed out. "But who knows if this has spread out to other towns, or if it's just us. It's not like we can get online and check, you know? Considering how long this fog has lasted without letting up at all, I doubt it's just a weather anomaly." Jane tended to think even the simplest things happening in this town had some dark, ulterior reason behind it. Maybe that made her cynical or morbid, but she thought it made her a realist. "I think if it goes another day or so, people may have to try and leave, especially without any food here. How long can people go without eating? I mean, if you take away cannibalism."
"We can go without food for a long time as long as we have water," Neil muttered. "Provided we don't kill each other out of sheer frustration." He didn't do well without food. He didn't eat a lot but he needed to eat regularly or he felt cranky and headachy and he was sure he wasn't the worst of the lot in there. He checked his watch with a little frown. "It's lasted almost sixteen hours now." That didn't tell him anything and it certainly didn't negate what Jane was saying. Of course she had to bring up cannibalism, he thought with some dismay. Leave it to Jane to go to the darkest scenario possible.
They had reached the second floor reading area where the windows were large and you could watch the street below. It could even be interesting on a busy day for someone actually interested in watching people. Today there was nothing but thick fog wafting against the glass and Neil could just barely see the outline of some of the cars below. It was eerie and yet he walked up to the glass, peering down. Was it getting thinner at least? He felt like it was a little thinner, he was sure he hadn't been able to see anything but gray the last time he walked by.
"Provided you don't kill people out of frustration," Jane corrected with a tired grin. Sixteen hours though. That was a fucking long time, especially to be stuck in one place. Her muscles were achy and she wanted a shower pretty desperately. She sighed as she looked outside, seeing absolutely nothing. "I don't know what we're supposed to do at this point. If I had the face of someone from the institute, I could maybe slip into their minds, but that's assuming they had something to do with this... and someone was still asleep. None of your brain friends has said anything this morning?"
Neil realized he'd spent entirely too much time with Jane now because he almost made a joke at her. A cannibal joke! About how if he killed people out of frustration, at least she'd have something to eat. It was disgusting, really, and yet a little amusing to him. She would have appreciated it too but he kept it to himself, a bemused grimace flickering on his face. Thankfully she kept talking and he found himself wanting her to use her dreamwalking, just go anywhere, to anyone, see what was going on out there. He wished he could do it too, astral project to somewhere else, just to get a small reprieve from being stuck here. "Nobody's said anything, but I just woke up," he said and it would probably be rude to reach out this early - or at all, really. He was still considering it, feeling the desperation again from being trapped, but he got distracted by movement in the fog. "There's... something out there," he muttered, trying to wrap his head around what he was seeing - or not quite seeing. It had to be a trick of the eye, he thought, because it was too big to be real but it was moving too fast to just be shadows in the fog, getting larger and more solid until it was so close that Neil could see it properly even as he wished he couldn't.
It looked like the creature Jane had drawn, that thing that she had seen in their dreams. It came right up to the window, slamming its claws against the glass until there were tiny cracks branching out like lightning. Neil didn't scream but he could feel his body attempt it, like a gigantic scream lodged in his throat and made him incapable of breathing. He fell back, tripping back against one of the tables and for a few seconds he was completely unaware that Jane was even there with him. It was just him and this thing and and the sharp pain of table digging into his back. The creature wasn't looking at him but it was trying to get inside and Neil couldn't run away because his legs were suddenly made of jelly. It all happened so fast, the next thing he knew lightning was dancing through the room, bouncing off the floor and walls. Neil thought it came from the creature but no, it was coming from his hands and the creature backed up when the electricity hit the glass.
Jane had seen the movement just as Neil had and she stepped in closer to the window to get a better look when suddenly it was there, all teeth and claws and she stumbled back herself with a strangled gasp of shock. It did look like that thing in their dreams, only much, much bigger. The glass was cracking but that was the least of her worries. Because bright light danced around the room and the hair on her arms seemed to stand as it barely missed hitting her before she threw herself on the floor. Jane slid quickly beneath the table behind her, her eyes wide, her mouth open.
Whatever had just happened must have scared the creature because it slunk back into the fog. She could see the dark outline of it, but it was no longer trying to get inside the library. Stunned, Jane watched it before slowly turning her gaze to Neil.
"What. The. Fuck." The light - lightning - had come from him.
Neil was frantic and it felt like fifty thousands thoughts were going through his head at once while his body didn't know which way to turn. He was going to need clean underwear because he was pretty sure he'd peed himself a little but who the fuck could be expected to retain control over their bladder when faced with that? At least that's what one of his fifty thousand thoughts tried to rationalize to keep him from hating himself on top of everything else he was feeling. He moved, his butt still firmly against the table as he scooted sideways until nothing pressed against him anymore and instead of walking backwards like he intended, he fell on his ass. "That was-" one of those things. "You didn't say how big-" it was. "We need to get-" out of here. Was he always so bad at finishing sentences? "We need to go!" He was scrambling backwards like a spider or a crab, his focus now on getting off the second floor. "Jane!" It came out whiny instead of firm like he meant it to but at least he was managing to get to his feet, his urge to flee overpowering the fear-paralysis of his muscles.
"It's not going to come back," Jane exclaimed. "You scared the shit out of it. It doesn't like.... lightning. Whatever the hell that was. Light? Fire?" Maybe there was a reason why the fog was so thick. Jane slowly slid out from under the table to stand. Her heart was racing but that had more to do with adrenaline than fear. "Oh my god, Neil. That's... that's what they did to you, back at the institute. That's never happened to you before?" She knew she needed to be focused on the creature outside, and maybe getting away from the windows. Neil looked terrified and ready to flee. But she was completely caught up in the fact that he had shot lightning from his hands.
"Yes yes you were right," Neil said and the words blurred together in his rush to get them out. "Now is not the time to gloat." The window was holding, thanks to the double pane, but he kept expecting that thing out there to come back and it was so big that if it wanted to get in - it would get in. He couldn't wrap his head around an actual honest to go monster AND the fact he'd just shot lightning out of his hands at the same time. He could barely even wrap his head around one of those things. "We need to go," he said and reached out for her, stopping himself halfway there because what if there was still lightning in his hands and he ended up frying her? Lightning in his hands, that was ridiculous. Ridiculous! Yet he couldn't deny it because they'd both seen it. "Down. Downstairs," he said shakily and the wall felt solid against his back as he moved along it toward the stairs.
She wasn't going to argue with him. If he wanted to get away from the windows, they would. Jane followed him, looking back over her shoulder at the cracked glass. She could no longer see the outline of the creature. But her heart was racing and it took everything in her not to grab Neil's hand and try to get him to shoot lightning again. "That was incredible," she marveled, all but skipping down the stairs beside him. "I mean, not the monster. But you scared it! Did you see that? Holy shit, Neil. And that thing... that was the thing in your dreams. Bigger, obviously, but... shit, I wonder what all of this means."
"It means it's not over," Neil said and he felt like crying from frustration. It had been such a nice thing to cling to, that belief that Jane had scared the monster off, but now it was here in reality and he would have to fight it because apparently Jane had been right all along. He hated that she was right but not nearly as much as he hated that he had some kind of weird, electrical power. He didn't watch a lot of movies about superheroes and he certainly hadn't read many comics but he knew one thing for sure, superheroes were miserable, tormented people and he did not need that added stress in his life. "You can't tell anyone about this," he said, stopping somewhere halfway down the stairs and leaning back against the wall. It felt like a safe little space, between floors and away from windows. "I don't know what it means, I need time to figure it out." He certainly hadn't had any control over it and now he was scared to even try again.
Jane had always assumed Neil was already tormented and miserable, so adding a superpower to his life didn't seem like that big a deal. She stopped when he did, thankful that she didn't hear anymore glass shattering. Neil had really scared it off. That had to mean something. "I won't tell anyone, but you can't hide it forever. Especially if what you can do can somehow scare that thing, or even kill it... Carson and the others should know." She would give Neil time to deal with it, and accept it, but she wasn't going to pretend it didn't exist, and she wouldn't let him pretend either.
She was still talking and Neil was barely hearing her because it was getting hard to breathe and stand upright. He ended up slumping down where he stood, ending up sitting awkwardly on the stairs with his back pressed partially against the wall. Breathing, breathing was totally a thing he could do without thinking about it so hard and without it hurting, just apparently not right now. Memories were flooding back, disjointed and nonsensical, all of them from childhood and he wasn't sure what was true and what was just nightmares he'd had since.
Jane took a breath and moved to sit on the same step, but kept distance. She half-expected him to freak out. Panic. Run away. Not that he could go far. "Just... breathe," she said after a moment. Calmer now. "Do you want me to go get you some water? Anything?" Jane had to realize he had spent so long denying that the institute could have triggered anything inside of him, so this had to be a shock. Especially given how it had manifested. It was trauma and stress. That's what AIR had done to her, and the others. And now it had happened to Neil too.
"I could have killed you," Neil whispered and that was proof that he had some air even if he didn't feel like he did. He could whisper and he wasn't passing out. "I could have set this building on fire." God. How did the fire start at the institution? He had never remembered much, just disjointed images of running, of Jane looking back at him in the dark, of all of them crowded together in the woods, whispering and making pacts about never talking about this ever again. White rooms, a button, searing pain, people in white coats. "Jane, it's out. It's here for us." He gave her a startled look, all of the pieces coming together. He was well and truly fucked now and what if it had gotten the others? He should reach out but there was no way he could focus on that when he was so focused on trying to breathe.
She didn't know how to counter that. Jane couldn't definitively say that the creature outside was there for Neil, or the others. It probably was. How much damage and destruction would it cause? Were they stuck in the library until they were forced out? Jane licked her lips and let silence fall between them for a bit as she gathered her thoughts. "It didn't like the light," Jane pointed out finally. "Even inside the building, it shrunk away as soon as it saw what you did. I would ask you to try and do it again but I don't want to risk getting fried. Did it hurt? Did you feel anything?"
Neil shook his head quickly but then he thought better of it, furrowing his brows as he considered the question properly. "It was like water. Like warm water." It had felt weirdly nice actually, though he hadn't had much time to enjoy it in his panic. He considered telling her about his scar, the one that looked like he'd been struck by lightning, but he couldn't remember getting it. Maybe he'd been sedated. What the hell had they done to him? Thinking about the way the light or electricity had felt was weirdly soothing. Neil liked water, liked the way it made him feel clean and calm so focusing on that feeling was helping with his breathing. He would kill for a shower, even if getting naked right now felt too vulnerable. Looking down at his hands he wondered if he could do it again. "It wasn't a voluntary reaction, I don't know how to... do it again."
"You'll learn," Jane said confidently. "Now that it's... out there. You'll probably be able to do it again, and easier. The first few times I dreamwalked, I didn't mean to. But then when I decided I wanted to do it, it didn't take much effort. I just had to keep doing it to get better at it, and control when and what dreams I walked in. Yours might be the same." This was crazy. Neil had lightning hands! She could only imagine what Vex would say to that, when he found out. "You probably saved us though, Neil. That thing might have come through the windows if you hadn't used your...that lightning to scare it off."
Neil scoffed softly because the notion that he'd saved them was ridiculous - except it wasn't and his little grimace smoothed out a bit as he thought about it. Neil Wainscott... Hero. No, it was ridiculous and yet a little satisfying while also being absolutely terrifying. "Let's just hope I can do it again if it comes back," he muttered and he never would have thought Jane of all people could calm him down but... he was starting to feel calmer, in no small part thanks to the confidence she was showing. "We'll stay away from large windows from now on, just in case." It was tempting to stay here in the stairwell but there were other people in the building and even Neil wasn't big enough of a dick not to warn them.
"I think... now that it's happened, it will happen again, and easier," Jane said, trying to tamp down a bit on her enthusiasm. She shouldn't be this excited, given what was outside. "If you focus enough, you'll probably be able to do it without being terrified into it first. But you're right, let's avoid the windows. Do you think we should go warn everyone else?" Probably. That was the "right" thing to do, anyway. But now that Jane was really thinking about it, she wondered if that creature would have attacked the window if anyone had been sitting there. Or if it just wanted Neil.
"I think... I'll try it when I'm alone," Neil said quietly and the last thing he needed was to accidentally kill someone with this weird power he'd just discovered. He started getting up, a little shaky on his feet as he did so, like his body wasn't fully ready to work yet. "And yes, let's warn the others. I don't think anyone is going out into this but you never know, they might want to run to their car to get something or..." He shook his head, unable to imagine why someone would willingly go out into the fog but then he didn't really understand people so he probably wasn't qualified to guess.
Jane hesitated. "Do you think telling them there are creepy creatures out there will make them want to run for it? Remember that story, The Mist? They tried to warn people but people left anyway, because they didn't believe them? I mean... maybe we should keep it to ourselves and only say something if someone actually tries to leave." So far people had seemed content with staying in the library where it was warm and safe. That might change the longer they were stuck here and food completely ran out.
Neil didn't know The Mist but he did know people were insufferably stupid and annoying so Jane's words rang true. Keeping an eye on everyone meant spending time with them though so he wasn't all that keen on that either. "If they are stupid enough to run straight out into possible danger then maybe they deserve what they get," he sighed, but now he wasn't so sure what to do. Tell them, don't tell them, he'd never been good at ethical dilemmas and avoiding people meant he didn't often suffer the consequences of that. He would tell Makayla, at least. He liked the girl, which was saying a lot, and he wanted her to stay safe.
Jane shot him a look. "Do you really think so? Not everyone is as... educated as you are... especially with what goes on in this town. You work here, so I'll leave that up to you. But I think we should keep quiet unless someone tries to leave, or they see that thing for themselves. And maybe it's gone now, maybe you really did scare it off. They may think we're completely nuts if we tell them a big scary monster is outside. And imagine how scared the kids will be. I doubt you want to be stuck in here with a bunch of crying kids."
She knew exactly the right things to say to keep him quiet and while Neil felt a little manipulated, he also couldn't help but agree. "Fine," he said. "We'll keep quiet for now and only tell them if we have to." They would have to be pretty stupid to go out there anyway, it was so cold and they couldn't see anything. Now he wondered if Makayla would keep calm if he told her and his resolve to keep her in the loop was quickly fading. In a way it was weirdly reassuring to have Jane there. It was as surprising to him as it would have been for her to hear it but she kept calm when things were falling apart and she was smart. Neil needed both of those things right now.
Jane nodded. "That sounds like a plan." She paused. "Do you need some time alone?" She knew she wasn't Neil's most favorite person, and he had just discovered something life altering about himself. Jane knew if she were him, she would probably need a few minutes to compose herself without Neil sniffing about. Jane was aware of what a big deal this was... and she knew Neil was probably freaking out, even if he wasn't showing her.
Neil didn't want to be alone, which was a first for him, but he also knew he needed to use the bathroom to clean up a little and - if he was honest - breathe. So he nodded, a little surprised she offered. He was always surprised when Jane was considerate, he'd painted a picture of her in his head as rude and inconsiderate, sadistic almost. It was an exaggerated version of her and not entirely fair but Neil tended to see the world in black and white. Today he wasn't sure where Jane landed, the borders blurring a little into gray. "I'll meet you back in the cafeteria in a little while," he said. "I'm not sure how long I need."
Jane was well aware of how Neil perceived her, but it didn't bother her any. In her mind, they had this one, very important thing in common, and they were bonded by it whether he liked it or not. "I'll be there," she told him. Jane doubted Neil was going to make a run for it, not now that they've seen what was out there. But she would be around for when he needed the company again. And god, now she couldn't wait for this damn fog to lift so they could get out of here and focus on more important things.
Neil wished he could make a run for it, though it wasn't so much motivated by the urge to get away from Jane like it normally was. He just wanted a hot bath, his own tea, clean clothes and space to come to terms with what had happened. For now the bathroom would have to do, it would provide him with a little privacy at least, like a small sanctuary in the middle of all this chaos. He nodded sharply at Jane, then turned to walk down the hall, glad there were no large windows that way. The idea that something horrible would come crashing through the walls crossed his mind but he was weirdly not afraid of it. That thing... had been afraid of him. It was an idea that would take him a while to come to terms with but he hoped it hadn't been just a fluke.