Jacob Keller (bodyonthetracks) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2019-06-14 00:22:00 |
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Entry tags: | #december 2017, jacob, jacob x jocelyn, jocelyn |
Who: Jacob & Jocelyn
Where: Jacob's place, then Dino's
When: Thursday Noon 12/21
Status: Complete
When Jacob woke up he was sore. Not the kind of sore he sometimes felt after a shitty shift at the arcade, more like after a long night of partying and dancing too much. He groaned as he moved to check the clock, then curled his toes in discomfort. This wasn't even a party sort of sore, he was in pain. "What the fuck did you do," he croaked at himself and sat up stiffly, peering down at his body as he pulled the blanket. His legs were bruised and scratched up, the sheets were dirty. "What the fuck..." He moved to sit up completely, his throat dry and his hands sore and filthy. He closed his eyes again and it was so tempting to just lie still and feel sorry for himself but he needed to take a piss and he really needed to drink something.
"Ow, ow, ow," he sulkily chanted as he padded to the small bathroom next to his room. It wasn't quite private but Holly didn't use it so it was essentially his. Relieving his bladder made it a little easier to think, that insistent pressure taken care of giving his mind more space to think. He'd gone to work and he'd been tired after so he went straight home. That was all he remembered.
Showering made him feel a smidge better but it also gave him time to take a closer look at his body. None of the scratches were deep, he just looked like he'd been naked-gardening or something which... wasn't something Jacob would ever do. Had he dropped acid after coming home? He had some drugs, maybe he had taken something, maybe that something had been laced with something else. Fuck, he couldn't remember. Wrapped in a towel he headed back to his room. He'd need to change the sheets before he went back to bed but he was too lazy and sore to do it right now so he bit the bullet and got dressed. As he was pulling a t-shirt on he noticed the pile of yellow plastic in the corner of the room, right next to his drawing board. He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer, eyeing it suspiciously, then slowly picked it up. It was a giant dirty banner, bright yellow with smiley faces and a large black font that read Welcome Home.
To say Jacob was creeped out by it would be an understatement. Where had he found it? When he picked it up, old soggy leaves fell off and it might not be much but he still felt like it would be a bitch to clean it all up. Not for the first time that day he found himself whispering, "What the fuck" and then he dropped the damn thing, used the discarded towel to wipe his hands and picked up his phone. He started texting Jocelyn, even if he didn't particularly want to freak her out or anything, it just seemed likely that he'd go to her if he was doped up and crazy. Then he thought better of it and called her. This wasn't a talk he wanted to have through texts, he just needed someone - something- grounding right now.
Jocelyn was dealing with her own issues. Nothing as confusing and disconcerting as Jacob, but there was a draft in her new place that she couldn't quite find. The windows were old, yes, but she had put some thick pieces of plastic up over them per her dad's advice and that seemed to help keep the heat in. But the damn draft. It was cold and quick enough to make her shiver, and she sure as hell wanted to get it taken care of before Nate came around for brunch. Then again, maybe she could sweet talk him into helping her find the issue. Jocelyn considered herself a feminist, but she was not above asking someone for help if she knew what she needed was beyond her capabilities. Besides, it might be kind of nice watching Nate work with his hands some.
Jocelyn was currently on her knees, working on scrubbing the baseboards in her kitchen when her phone began to buzz. Brows drawn together she reached up to pluck it off the counter, immediately wondering why Jacob was calling and not texting. To her, that meant something was wrong. She wiped dropped the scrub brush into the bowl of soapy water beside her and wiped her hand on her jeans before she answered. "Hey, what's up," she greeted, unable to keep the hint of concern from her voice.
Of course she was concerned. They never called, or hardly ever. Even when drunk off his ass and barely able to type Jacob would send her stupid messages - and poorly spelled ones too. "Hey," he drawled and regretted not just texting. It wasn't like he really wanted to talk on the phone in the first place but it was a little too late for that now. "Did you... see me last night?" What he really wanted to was to get out of the house for now but walking was still a little painful and it was cold outside. It was cold inside too for that matter and he pulled on a pair of socks while he cautiously asked her that probably stupid question. If she hadn't seen him it was possible he'd just frolicked around like an idiot - or worse, maybe he'd gone to Connor's house. God he hoped not, that meant he had no idea where they stood now since he had no idea how he'd behaved.
Jocelyn's brows furrowed together in confusion. "Last night? No. I was working and helped close down the bar. How much did you have to drink?" Maybe he had been with Connor. Jacob would have had to have been completely wasted not to know if he had seen Jocelyn or not. Her lips pressed together for a moment before she reached in the bowl beside her to grab the scrub brush again. "Oh god, you didn't wake up with a tattoo, did you? Or go home with a stranger?"
"I don't remember," Jacob replied sullenly. "I mean, I didn't wake up with a tattoo but I woke up looking like I took a roll in some nasty bushes and apparently I brought home a creepy welcome home banner, as you do." God, he'd have to talk to Connor and yet somehow not tell him about this because he wouldn't exactly love hearing that his sub was using drugs and getting fucked up enough not to know what he was doing. Not that Jacob normally did that, his rare drug use was a lot more mellow than that so what the fuck. "I went to work and I went home and that's all I remember so I thought maybe... Maybe I took something before I went to sleep and it fucked me up." So much for dropping E again, if that's what was in store for him.
The fact that he couldn't remember what he had done was a bit disconcerting. "A welcome home banner?" she asked, brows scrunched together now both from curiosity and the cleaning she was doing. Jocelyn wondered who out there had woken up today missing their welcome home sign. "Maybe you were just sleepwalking," Jocelyn suggested, because it seemed plausible and normal and she didn't want to think something scary was happening. "Has this ever happened to you before? Did you ask Holly if she saw you last night?"
"No, I just woke up and she's not home," Jacob sighed. "And I've never sleep walked before so I thought maybe I dropped some E before I went to sleep for some weird reason and it wasn't a good batch." It was the only thing he could think of that made sense, even if it didn't sound like something he'd do and he hadn't had a problem with E before. "So if you hear about someone rolling around in someone's yard and stealing their party banner, don't tell them it was me." It might be funny in a few years time but right now he felt unsettled, like something was really wrong and at the same time he just wanted to downplay it, convince himself and Jocelyn that it was a one-off.
Jocelyn groaned softly. "Jacob, don't do that shit without someone with you. I don't care if this has never happened to you before. You know this place, what this town can do to people... just... if you want to drop E or drink or whatever, call me or Sage first. At least we can all make sure the other is safe, right?" Maybe she was being too motherly, but Jocelyn didn't care. Jacob and Sage were the only two people in town she trusted, beyond her parents, and she didn't want anything happening to them. "What's so creepy about the banner?"
Not doing drugs on his own was a good, solid plan. The problem was Jacob didn't remember taking the drugs, he couldn't imagine why he'd waste a good high on a work night when he was tired and wanted to sleep. He eyed the yellow heap in the corner with some disdain. "I don't know, it's just a banner. It was just unsettling finding it in my room. It's all dirty and gross." Welcome home indeed. He'd been home for a while now though so it didn't mean anything.
"Well, it sounds like you had a pretty eventful evening, even if you don't remember it," Jocelyn said. "Are you feeling okay? Besides waking up dirty and gross. Do you feel like you have a hangover? Have you talked to Connor?" Had Jacob gone out by himself? If there was someone else involved, she figured there was only so many people in Point Pleasant Jacob would be with. "What about Sage?"
"I'm just sore but not like hangover sore," Jacob replied. "And I called you first. I figured if I was high you're the most likely person for me to pester in the middle of the night." And not Connor. Please, not Connor. His friends would forgive him but Connor could be pissed, annoyed, disappointed. It made Jacob's stomach sink just thinking about it. "I'm totally flushing the rest of the drugs, they're obviously bad." What a waste of money too, it was so frustrating. Maybe the graveyard dude was still in business and had more on hand than just weed.
Jocelyn's muscle was starting to burn from the exertion so she dumped the scrub brush in the bowl again and reached up to grip the counter to pull herself to her feet. "As long as you're okay, that's the important thing. It could be a bad batch of E, but it might be something else too." She didn't like to think that was but it was important to be open minded to shit, especially in this town. "Are you home? Have you eaten anything? You could come over or we can go out and grab some food. It might help you feel better."
That sounded amazing and Jacob wished he had a car and could just go there without the hassle. He'd normally walk but today his feet hurt and he felt more than a little out of sorts. "Can you maybe pick me up?" he asked with a little pout because it was a lame thing to ask and she probably wasn't any more eager than he was to go out in the cold. He'd meant to go shopping for Christmas presents today too he realized and it just made it all so much more worse. "You don't have to, by the way. We can meet up tonight or something or I can bug Connor."
"Stop," Jocelyn said as she stretched. "I'll come pick you up. Just give me like, twenty minutes. I need to shower." Cleaning her kitchen had made her sweaty and gross and she wasn't going out in public looking like a garbage person. At least her parents were letting her use their old Chevy. Really, she needed to find her parents an amazing Christmas gift with how much they'd helped her since she came home. Jocelyn suspected it was their way of keeping her in Point Pleasant, but she couldn't complain about it right then. "Be ready okay?"
"You are a sexy beast and I love you," Jacob murmured deadpan and while the thought of going out was still daunting, it helped that he was going out with a friend - in a car - and getting food. He wasn't sure how he ended up with awesome girls taking care of him wherever he went but it was a god damn blessing. "I'll be ready in twenty." Sooner actually but he'd be surprised if she actually only needed twenty minutes to get ready. "Text me when you leave and I'll come on out."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Jocelyn said, a smile in her voice. "I'll be by soon and text." She hung up and headed down the hall for the bathroom. It was a bit longer than twenty minutes, but Jocelyn was at least out front of Holly's house within forty-five minutes and she texted Jacob as soon as she pulled up along the curb to pick him up. Despite the shower her hands still smelled a little lemon-y from the floor cleaner, but at least it had a nice scent to it. If she could afford house cleaning she would have gone in that direction, but Jocelyn realized the days of frivolous spending were long over.
Despite getting a ride, Jacob was all bundled up for the walk to and from the car and he'd been ready for a while now. It was cold, damn it, and he was feeling it a lot more today than usually so hat and scarf and gloves all saw good use today. He hurried to get into the car, hunching his shoulders and letting out little sounds of discomfort at the chill as he fastened his seat belt. "Long twenty minutes," he said but the grin made it obvious he was mostly teasing. "How's things?"
"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "But I can't go out into public looking like hot garbage!" Jocelyn grinned and waited until he was settled before she pulled away from the house. She didn't feel comfortable going to Moxie's, so she drove towards Dino's, more than happy to eat a pizza, or some wings. Was it too early in the day for a beer? As they were driving, Jocelyn glanced over at Jacob. "You look like hot garbage, though. But probably because you were out gallivanting around town high as a kite. Did you get rid of whatever you took?
"At least I'm still hot," Jacob drawled, rolling his eyes. "But yeah, I threw it out. Not taking a chance on a bad batch - but that means no real partying for me for a while. Unless you have something fun." He hadn't gone over that with Connor yet, what rules he might have in place for things like that. If Connor didn't want him to do drugs, Jacob wouldn't do drugs. It might seem insane to other people but what they had felt a lot better than a high ever could. Of course that meant he'd still want one more high before he committed to being a good, drug-free little sub. "I'm still so creeped out about it all and I'm really worried I made a fool of myself to Connor."
"I'm fun," Jocelyn reminded him. She liked to drink and smoke weed on occasion, but Jocelyn had left some of the harder stuff back in California. "I know that shit is fun and everything, but it feels like a bad idea to get fucked up in this town. It's like... opening yourself up to something weird or dangerous happening. Like sleepwalking around town," she added, shooting him a pointed look. "And if you made a fool of yourself in front of Connor, you're probably going to hear about it sooner or later. Why don't you text him just to see?"
She was right on all accounts, though Jacob sometimes thought drinking blocked some of the Point Pleasant bullshit out. Right now he wasn't too sure and maybe it was time to go dry for a while no matter how much he hated the idea. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, as if her suggestion was a command, and stared at it for a few seconds. He'd wanted to text for a while but he still wasn't sure what to say; whether to outright ask if Connor had seen him last night or just play it cool and see if Connor was weird about it. He finally opted for the second, not because he wanted to keep secrets but because Connor was working a lot and he didn't want him freaking out. That was all. It was a simple 'we still on for Friday night?' text and he left it at that, keeping his phone in his hand as he waited for a reply. "I need to call Sage too," he sighed. "I'll do that tonight. Maybe I saw him." That meant he'd gone to Dragonfly and made an ass of himself there. Joy oh joy. Though at this point he had a feeling that if he'd met anyone he knew that night, he wouldn't have woken up all scratched up with a random banner in his room. "But yeah, you're fun and I can have fun without drugs."
Jocelyn turned down the street to Dino's, hating the sight of all the gross looking slush in the street. She hated winter but it was decidedly more tolerable when it was fluffy white snow making everything look like a damn Thomas Kinkade painting. Right now things were just gray and muddy and gross. "You know if you had been around Sage last night out of your mind he would have called me to come help," she pointed out. "But I didn't have any calls or texts from him when I woke up so I think you're safe." She reached over to playfully ruffle his hair before turning into the pizzeria's parking lot. "And you're damn right I'm fun. I mean, I'm fucking buying you a pizza. What's more fun than that?"
"Wait, you're buying?" Jacob asked, obviously perking up at the prospect. "And here I thought I couldn't love you more." He'd been happy enough to get a ride and good company but everyone knew he was broke as hell so that sort of treat was well known to be the way to his heart. "I feel pretty safe now that I'm out of the house too, so thanks for that. I felt like shit when I woke up. Not just physically but just... Yeah, I'm still kinda freaked out about not knowing what the hell I got up to." He didn't want to think about it and he just hoped it wouldn't happen again now that he was not doing drugs anymore.
Jocelyn grinned. "Yes, I'm buying. I've been making some pretty decent tips at the bar lately. With the shitty weather, people have nothing better to do than to go somewhere and drink." And after a few drinks people started to feel generous, especially when she flirted with them a bit. She sighed and turned off the car before looking at Jacob. "It's definitely scary, not knowing where or what you did. Especially if you went outside in this weather. But maybe things will start coming back to you. Flashes and stuff. Or maybe someone will report a welcome home banner missing," she added with a small smile. "Or maybe you just went to Connor and he drove you home and he'll have all the answers you need soon." She doubted that, at least. Jocelyn had to assume if Jacob showed up to Connor's place out of his head Connor might keep him there for the night. The guy was a doctor, after all.
People definitely did not tip at the arcade unless he was behind the bar and then it was as little as possible. Gamers were not generous people, saving their money for the machines. Jacob seriously considered changing jobs there for a second but the arcade was a good fit for him, not as crazy busy as a restaurant or a bar and the boss was nice. The money was just shit. He didn't really want to talk about the night, his mind kept going darker places than that and he hoped he'd just been frolicking in the back yard for an hour, fallen into some bushes and hightailed it back to his room. Maybe Holly had seen him. He doubted it since she was asleep when he got home and that lady was on some pretty heavy sleeping pills. Then again, so was Jacob and maybe it was time to quit that too. Another thing he didn't want to think about right now, he'd be miserable enough tonight without one. He loosened his seat belt and got out, then leaned back in giving Jocelyn a cheeky grin. "I'll let you be my sugar mama today then because I'm small and in pain and you're loaded."
Jocelyn snorted in response as she got out of the car. "Loaded. Yeah, that's me. I probably should have tried to live with my parents a bit longer. Save some money on rent and food and stuff. But I need my space. I'll be all right. A splurge every now and then won't kill me." She walked with Jacob into Dino's and once they were seated in a booth she settled back and pulled her scarf from around her neck and shoulders. "Do you want to share a pizza? Or get wings or something? I'm freaking starving. I don't think I've ever cleaned so much in my life as I have the last couple of days."
"I'm starving too," Jacob admitted. "I don't know what the hell I did last night but it was fucking vigorous." Heh was staring at his phone as he spoke, willing it to chime. Connor still hadn't answered him and what if that meant he knew Jacob had gone on a drug binge and acted crazy? He wasn't willing to give up what they had and that pit in his stomach just felt like it was getting darker and deeper. "So, big pizza together?" he asked distractedly and put his phone down. The screen looked annoyingly blank, no notifications, nothing. He remembered he was with Jocelyn and letting himself worry about something he could do nothing about at the moment just made him poor company so he forced himself to stop staring at it and focused on his friend instead. "How's the new place, anyway? I need to come visit."
Jocelyn couldn't begin to speculate what Jacob had done. Maybe the scratches were from sex. She eyed him checking his phone as she shrugged out of her coat. "Big pizza is fine," she said. "Remember that a watched phone never buzzes." Setting her coat in the corner of the booth Jocelyn plucked the laminated menu from the holder and gave a cursory glance over the choices. "New place is good," she said absently, deciding on pepperoni, jalapeno and sausage for her side of the pizza. She offered the menu to Jacob to see if he had any preferences himself. "I've been more or less cleaning since I moved in. There's someone who may or may not come by for brunch some day so I don't want to look like I'm living like a slob when they do."
She was right about the phone so he tried to ignore it, focusing on the menu instead as he peeled off his own winter clothing. "I'll never come to brunch," he told her. "Unless we can agree to have brunch in the afternoon. I don't know what you'd call that but breakfast food after lunch sounds yummy." Everything sounded 'yummy' because he was hungry right now but that was beside the point. "I'm definitely coming to visit though, gotta make sure you got space for a sleepover," he added once they'd settled on their pizza choices and he'd sweet talked her into throwing some breadsticks in the mix. "Wait... You said someone like you didn't mean just a random someone." Was he slow to catch on? Sure, but he caught on eventually, giving her a crooked little smile. "Is there someone?"
"If you want brunch in the afternoon then that's just called lunch," Jocelyn pointed out, amused. "Even if you have breakfast food. I definitely have space for a sleepover though. I mean, it's a small place, but it's better than my bedroom at my parents house." Jocelyn hoped the pizza wouldn't take too long. She was starving all of the sudden. It was all that cleaning. Jacob's curiosity about her guest had Jocelyn laughing before she shook her head. "No, not really? I mean, I don't know. I rant into Sage's boss, Nate at the pier. We got to talking about somehow brunch came up and I invited him over to have... it sometime. Honestly, he's a bit hard to read and for all I know he just really likes brunch no matter where he's getting it. I'm not getting ahead of myself there."
"Ooh," Jacob all but purred, his eyes going wide. That was a nice juicy possible-gossip to take his mind off Connor for a few seconds at the very least. "He is so fucking yummy," he told her deadpan, as if she didn't already know. "And I don't know, I wouldn't have brunch with just anyone but that sounds... Weirdly tame. You need to go hang out at Dragonfly, get a better read on him." He was really glad he hadn't had to do that particular dance with Connor. Sure, he'd waited a long time and pined for entirely too long but they both knew what they wanted and it had been pretty straight forward from there on. That was the benefit of actually chatting on dating apps, he supposed. Maybe Nate Kelly was totally asexual and really liked brunch, or he really wanted breakfast with all the connotations that came with that.
Amused, Jocelyn rolled her eyes."Yeah, I'll just start showing up at Dragonfly alone. That's not stalkerish at all. Though I'm sure Sage wouldn't mind the company. Brunch is probably tame, but it's something, right? A few months ago I would have just asked if he wanted to come over and fuck my brains out, but since I'm staying for a while, it's probably better to set a foundation," Jocelyn said with a grin, nudging Jacob's foot under the table with her own.
Jacob was about to point out that her friend worked there so she wouldn't be stalkerish but she beat him to it so he just gave her a look that said 'see?' then scoffed at her conclusion. "Sex is a great foundation," he corrected her in a jokingly haughty manner. "But if you want to take it slow then more power to you." Of course talking about sex just made him think about Connor and he glanced at his phone again, feeling stupid and a little pathetic for worrying so much. Connor was at work, he was probably just very busy. "Isn't he an Overlook brat?" he asked teasingly. "I just remember his sister from school, she was..." He trailed off and tilted his head not sure what word to use for Reagan Kelly. Classy, snooty, stuck up? It wasn't like he actually knew her but she'd been so absolutely different from him and his friends - not to mention three years older. "Nate seems more chill."
Jocelyn grinned, simply because she agreed with him. Sex was a great foundation. But in a small town it was a bit harder to avoid the awkward situations that sometimes arose from just jumping into bed with someone. "He's from Overlook, yeah. Reagan was, er, is his sister. Remember my mom works for the D'Onofrio's? She only has nice things to say about them at least, and she told me Nate's sister is married to Caius now. So... small fucking town. Nate's definitely pretty chill. I don't know." Jocelyn shrugged. "He's pretty hot, though. And who knows, sometimes the chill ones are the most exciting. Or maybe he has zero interest in anything more than my eggs benedict. I guess I'll find out. If he's not into it then I'll go buy a fucking dildo and be happy alone. Stop looking at your phone!"
Jacob threw his hands up with a soft curse and then took his phone and turned it face down. It would buzz if Connor replied and she was right, he needed to stop staring at it. "Pretty hot? He's fucking hot, Joss. Fucking hot. Nail that bitch. Or yeah, get a dildo. Wait, you don't have one? What the fuck?" She had to be joking, even Jacob had toys but then maybe his libido was stronger than hers. He wanted her to get laid though, especially since he was now in a relationship it just made sense that he'd want his friends to be happy too.
She laughed, thankful that they weren't sitting next to any tables with small children. She appreciated Jacob's encouragement, of course, and she was sure if Nate wasn't interested she could find someone in town to relieve the itch she had. "I don't have one. I know, it's awful," she said with a sigh. "But hey, Christmas is coming up, so there's a gift idea for you. I'm usually fine with these." Jocelyn wiggled her fingers. "Besides, I was in a...well, non-relationship back in L.A., so I didn't really need one! I forgot how lonely and miserable Point Pleasant could be."
"Yeah, I'm gonna buy you a dildo for Christmas," Jacob said deadpan, arching a skeptical brow at her. "And you can unwrap that present in front of your mom and dad and it won't be awkward at all. Besides, I've already bought you a present and it's nice and parent-safe and totally lame but I think you'll still like it." As he spoke, his phone buzzed and he snatched it up lightning quick before he'd even thought about it. It was a text from Connor and Jacob's heart all but seized up as he opened it. All clear, no sign of annoyance, just a simple reply that yeah they were on for Friday. "Oh thank fuck," Jacob whispered as he set the phone back down. "Looks like I did not run Connor off."
Jocelyn loved the mental image of her parents faces as she opened a dildo on Christmas morning. He could always bring that to her own house now, but it was okay. All she had to do was drink some wine and do some online shopping and she would be good to go. "I like lame," Jocelyn reminded him. She watched him grab his phone and Jocelyn arched a brow at his reaction. "Wow," she said. "He's got you wrapped around his finger, doesn't he." She couldn't imagine reacting that was over a guy. Though maybe she just hadn't met the right guy yet.
Jacob had to laugh at that, feeling himself get faintly flushed. "You have no idea," he mumbled and he'd never really gotten specific about his relationship with Connor, the agreements they'd made and how much control Connor had over him now. He hesitated, then leaned over the table some to put less distance between them. "He's more than just a boyfriend," he said and of course Joss knew about some of his interests, she'd seen some of the texts between him and Connor, the bruise on his wrist. "He's my dom." It came out questioning, like she might not know what to make of it, of course she knew stuff about BDSM but maybe not, it was crazy how many people didn't know anything about it.
Their drinks were placed in front of them and Jocelyn murmured a quick thanks to the waitress, waiting until the woman wandered off before returning her attention to Jacob. "Okay? I mean, I know about BDSM and stuff, but... what does that mean... outside of doing that stuff?" The way he said it made it sound like there was something significant about Connor being his dom and maybe whatever it was explained why Jacob was freaking out so much this morning.
Living it was one thing, explaining it was a complete different beast and Jacob faltered for a few seconds, scrunching his nose and shaking his head. "Not much, yet... We're new at it but it basically means he's in charge and I do what he wants me to do." It sounded bad and he knew it, if you weren't into that sort of thing and he suddenly wondered if he made a mistake telling her. It was a stupid feeling though, she was his best friend. "I mean, I have to choose to give him that power and I can choose to take it back, it's not abusive." He couldn't even imagine it becoming abusive, with the way Connor treated him, but he supposed that was true for people in abusive relationships too.
Jocelyn arched a brow and tried not to look too concerned with it. But no, it didn't sound great and that instinct was there to say so. It was clearly something she wasn't familiar with, and would never do herself because the thought of giving some guy the power to tell her what to do sounded... just fucking awful. But that didn't mean Jacob wasn't someone who would be okay with that, or even get off on it. But she didn't know Connor beyond that one night out at the arcade. Maybe he had brainwashed Jacob into thinking this was a good thing. "So if you do something he doesn't want you to do, what happens? Like, you have to ask his permission to... live, basically?" Jocelyn sighed. "I don't want to be judgey, I just want to understand this."
"If we were in a twenty four seven kind of deal then yeah, basically," Jacob admitted. "But we're not." He almost sounded sad about it but he reined it in some for appearances sake. "Right now it's like... Kind of, we're warming up to it, still talking about it. He's in control but that also means he takes care of me, it's a give and take kinda deal." He would never be like those extreme cases where the sub slept in a cage under his master's bed or anything but there were definitely aspects of the lifestyle that appealed to him and belonging to Connor was one of them. "Don't worry, I won't disappear and be like a battered housewife who cuts ties with her friends and family for her man or anything." He gave her a faint smile, idly pushing his cutlery around for something to do with his hands. Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut.
All of it sounded terrible, at least to Jocelyn. But she also understood Jacob's life was his own, and if this was something he wanted, she wouldn't try to make him feel bad about it. Would it be shitty of her to tell Connor to not be an asshole? She took a breath and then reached out to take his hand. "As long as you're happy and he's treating you the right way and everything. Just… I don’t have a lot of people here. I don’t want you lose you to a relationship, you know?" She didn't want Jacob to have to ask some guy permission to hang out with her, or anything like that. Jocelyn grinned and squeezed his hand before letting go. "And here I thought inviting Nate over for brunch was being forward. It sounds so tame now."
Jacob could see where she was coming from, he probably wouldn't understand it either if it was someone else. It sounded bad when he tried to explain it and maybe he just sucked at explaining things but she had a good reason to worry. He just needed to give her time to see that it wasn't a problem at all. "I am happy," he said, turning his hand around to grasp hers. "And he treats me amazingly well. Legit pampers me and makes sure I've eaten and checks if I'm okay with everything. He's just a really, really great guy and we both want the same thing. He likes to be in control, I like to surrender it. Wild horses wouldn't keep me away from you though, you know that."
Jocelyn nodded, because it wasn't her place to question what Jacob wanted, or who he wanted it with. As long as Connor didn't turn out to be an abusive psychopath, it was none of her business. She nearly pointed out that Jacob wasn't okay last night, but that was mean and unfair to Connor. Jacob had no idea what he had done, or why and that was scary enough. Besides, it sounded like if Jacob had contacted Connor, Connor probably would have taken care of him. "I'm going to make sure you remember that," Jocelyn said. "Otherwise you'll have Sage and myself bugging you day and night. Have you talked to him about... anything? I mean, about Cooperdale?"
Jacob nodded. "He kinda found out the hard way when we went out a while ago." He hadn't told Jocelyn about it because it was depressing as hell but now that she'd brought it up, well, why not. "Remember Steve? We ran into him at Basi, like a month ago? Something like that. Steve shows up when Connor's in the bathroom and starts spitting shit. So I had to tell Connor what happened." He hesitated, looking around with just a touch of a shiver. "Not what really happened, I don't need him thinking I'm crazy. Not yet. Gotta get him hooked first, you know?" It was a sad attempt at humor that absolutely fell flat and his smile faded when he realized that. "But yeah, he knows what some people here think but he doesn't care. He doesn't believe I could do something like that."
That had been one of the major benefits of not living in Point Pleasant. She could have semi-normal relationships with people without having to lie or explain what happened to her and her friends at that tunnel. Here, almost everyone knew, or had at least heard of it. She wasn't even comfortable going to Moxie's anymore without KC Templeton glaring at her. "It probably helps that he didn't grow up here," she said. "But at the same time, I think that makes it harder to tell the truth, because who's going to believe it? Other than people who went through the same thing." It was sad because people who did know them still suspected they had something to do with Grayson’s disappearance. So she was glad to hear Connor didn’t believe Jacob was capable, because he wasn’t. None of them had been.
"I really want to tell him the truth," Jacob said with a little nod. "I want to warn him. I've told him the tunnel is evil but I didn't go into detail or anything. I don't even know if he took me seriously. Maybe I should let him run into Holly sometime, she'd tell him all this crazy stuff and I could kinda laugh at how crazy she is but then sneakily go 'hey, you never know, she might be onto something!' Then the idea is at least... in there." He let out a sad little laugh and rested his head on his free hand, giving Jocelyn's hand a little squeeze. "Our life is so fucking stupid."
"It is fucking stupid," Jocelyn agreed. "But you know... if you care about him and you two have this... arrangement, then you should be honest about all of this. He'll hear it from someone else eventually. And maybe if he knows this stuff, he'll be more alert or more aware of things here and he'll be safe. Safer, anyway." Jocelyn gave a small smile. "On the other hand, if I find a guy here lucky enough to have never heard of my name before, I might put off telling him anything until I'm sure he won't take off."
Jacob's expression had been growing considerably more pained as she talked about being upfront. He couldn't even imagine trying to tell Connor what happened that night, unsure their relationship was quite solid enough to withstand that kind of crazy yet. He nodded eagerly when she changed her tone, arching his eyebrows as if to say 'see?' then smiled. "Yeah, that's what I think would be smart. Get him properly hooked on me before I lay on the crazy." Of course he wanted Connor to be safe but every time he tried to think of a way to warn him of Point Pleasant it just sounded completely mental in his mind.
Jocelyn couldn't help but laugh a little as she lifted her hands to cover her face. Then she groaned, amusement still laced in her tone. "God... we're never going to have normal relationships with people, are we? We have to lie, or... I don't know. It just fucking sucks." She lowered her hands back to the table. "Anyway, I hope that when you do tell Connor he hears it with an open mind. And you know Sage and I will back you up if you need it."
It was a sad thing to be laughing about but if they didn't laugh, they'd cry so laughing was definitely the better alternative. "You always do," he said warmly. It was hard to be back in Point Pleasant for many reasons but being so close to his friends who not only believed him but knew what had happened and had been through the same thing was more than words could describe. He hadn't even realized how alone he felt in Portland, despite having good friends there. They lacked this shared experience, that deep understanding of what he was constantly going through no matter how sympathetic and eager they were to help. "Sometimes I wonder how the hell we're surviving it but we just do. Like there's nothing else we can do." He couldn't help but think again about how he couldn't remember the night before and what that could mean in a place like Point Pleasant but he didn't really want to go there, the possibilities were too dark and it was so much easier to blame the drugs.
He was right. There was nothing they could do. Jocelyn just tried to move on the best she could. Some days were better than others. What had happened there had been traumatizing, but she still missed Grayson. There were nights she stayed awake, just thinking maybe there was a possibility that he was alive somewhere. No body, no... anything. He was just gone, like so many other people. What would they even do if he showed up in Point Pleasant one day? Her heart hurt to think about it, mostly because it triggered some weird, probably misplaced optimism. But yeah, she missed him. Jocelyn exhaled slowly and then smiled at Jacob. "Well, I'm glad you're here with me. You and Sage. We need to call him and have him hang out with us."
"We should go to karaoke again," Jacob said with a grin. "Or go hang out at Dragonfly." He winked at her and added a very quiet and mumbled, "To get you laid." It was a much nicer subject than the past was, joking around and making plans. They had to keep moving forward, much like surviving there was nothing else they could do. He still felt guilty sometimes just for living his life when Grayson was either dead or going through something horrible out there. Jacob hoped he was dead because any alternative was just too weird and grim to think about and at the same time it was hard not to hope he was somehow miraculously okay somewhere.
Jocelyn burst into laughed then and kicked Jacob under the table. "Now I'm thinking I definitely cannot go to Dragonfly with you again. You'll say something embarrassing and scare him off before I can even get him into my house for brunch. Come on." That didn't mean she wouldn't go in and have a drink and hang with Sage. Sage didn't know she had been flirty with his boss. "But let's do karaoke again. That way I can kiss up on both of you."
"Hey," Jacob said with a feigned hurt in his voice. "I can be cool around him. Just because I act like an idiot around you doesn't mean I won't behave!" It was good to see her laughing, it always cheered him up and if Nate Kelly didn't jump on the chance to be with her then he was clearly an idiot. Jacob was gay and even he was attracted to Jocelyn Day. He liked kissing her when they were drunk and stupid, it could just never go beyond that and that was okay. Friendly kissing was nice, though now he had to wonder what Connor would think about it. It shouldn't matter, he wasn't going to be with anyone else but he also didn't want to give up being drunkenly affectionate with people he loved. "Oh my god, pizza," he blurted out a moment later when he spotted their waitress heading their way. "I am so hungry."
Jocelyn had always been affectionate with her friends, though more so with Jacob than any other. She trusted him completely and frankly, never had to worry about him making a pass at her or trying to take advantage when they were both sloppy drunk and having fun. She wasn't thrilled about being home, but she was finding it so much better to handle with Jacob and Sage being there with her. She knew he would behave around Nate, but alcohol tended to make people do and say silly things. Then again, maybe whatever happened to Jacob last night would push him off the liquor for a bit. She sighed happily when the pizza was placed in front of them and Jocelyn realized she would probably eat at least half of it. That was okay. Jacob would eat the other half and they would be fine. Everything would be fine. It had to be.