Re: Zania and Caius
When she was finished, he took a deep breath and held back on the urge to hug her. “Zania ... firstly, I’m sorry for how I treated you when we were younger,” Caius began with, holding her gaze and sounding sincere. “I did care about you and enjoy spending time with you, you were the most competition Reagan ever had for my affection. But it was foolish and selfish of me to involve you in our bullshit back then. I’m sorry I hurt you then, you deserved better.” Had he ever said that before? He didn’t think so, so he let it sink in for a beat. “When I lost my memory and came to you ... I was shattered into pieces. Try to imagine if you woke up and couldn’t remember Nic. Most of my life was just gone, a black hole. I felt insane, out of control, I didn’t know who to trust, what to believe. I drank too much and I contemplated killing myself. Or just ... diving into black magic and never coming out. You were the only friend I remembered enough to trust, and when I came to you, I was desperate for something to ground me, to connect to anything familiar, anything that made sense. It wasn’t just for a cheap good time. You made the right decision, and I appreciate it now -- it was selfish and short-sighted of me, but I was barely hanging on and barely knew what I was doing. I didn’t know how to tell anyone, my father always taught me that dependence was weakness. Vulnerability will get you killed, or worse. That’s why he’s been trying to take Reagan from me for years ...” Caius’s eyes unfocused for a second as that realization really sunk in, but he shook it off quickly. “Your help was very much appreciated. But Reagan sacrificed her magic to get my memory back. She’s suffering, likely even more than I did. And my every waking moment has been focused on fixing it, helping her. It’s made me neglectful of everything else, including you, and I’m sorry. We’ve been fighting for our literal lives for months, since we learned about the curse, and it’s never-ending exhaustion and frustrated despair. ... which is a long-winded way of saying yes, you are my friend. You’re one of maybe five people I trust and feel I can turn to for help. I’m sorry that my actions have made you feel used. I will make an effort to do better, and I hope you can forgive me.”
Zania had been so wound up, she didn't think there was anything that could have made her lose her steam, but the more Caius talked, the more her own feelings of anger and resentment started deflating. In all their time together, she didn't think she'd ever heard him talk like this and it almost made her wonder if he was faking it. But the sincerity felt real, his vulnerability almost palpable, and by the time he finished she was pretty sure that hitting him would be seriously out of line. Which was too bad. She really wanted to hit him. "You asshole," she huffed quietly, scrunching up her nose in an attempt to pull back a wave of emotion. "You're not supposed to apologize. Now I can't justify kicking your ass." She paced for a second, not sure what to do with herself, then went over to the counter to retrieve a brownie from a stash that had been set aside. She needed chocolate to deal with this. Chocolate and weed. He'd given her a lot to absorb and it would take a while to really sink in, but it was a good place to start. "I'd offer you one, but I'm pretty sure your high is better than anything I've got on hand," she said, taking a small bite off the corner. "I talked to Reagan at the Christmas gala. She made it sound temporary."