lookinside (lookinside) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-08-30 19:42:00 |
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Entry tags: | #november 2017, brianna, brianna x sebastian, sebastian |
Who: Sebastian and Brianna
Where: The McCarthy House
When: Evening, Friday, Nov 10
Status: Complete
By the time Sebastian made it home on Friday, school had been over for a good hour and a half. He’d tried his best to hurry, but he couldn’t rush the audition process and he had to stay until he completed his own. It had gone well, as good as he could hope for, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up in case he didn’t make the play. There were other people that were good as well, though most of them seemed set on the four main characters, the lovers, which Sebastian wasn’t interested in. He was definitely the only guy on the football team trying out to be a fairy.
As much as he wanted to stay and hang out, he knew he was already pushing it being late and it wouldn’t help his case at all. If it was even a case worth making. He’d told Hunter he’d try though, so when he got home, he dropped his backpack off at the bottom of the stairs and went to look for his mother. She was the one who’d grounded him, so he was hoping she would also be the one who would end it if he sucked it up and apologized. It would be worth it if he could have at least a part of his weekend free. If not Saturday, then maybe Sunday. And if not this weekend, then next weekend. He couldn’t be grounded forever, no matter how much he’d disappointed them.
Brianna was in the kitchen, focused on making dinner because it gave her something to do while her mind raced a mile a minute. She had plans to grill some pork chops on the grill out back, but she was prepping the vegetables and potatoes, though Brianna was barely noticing as she sliced through the red peppers on the cutting board. She heard the front door open but assumed whoever it was would retreat to their bedroom, or somewhere else in the house. Away from her, at least.
She heard someone walk into the kitchen, however, and Brianna glanced over at Sebastian. It didn't occur to her that he was there to talk to her, given how the 'family talk' had gone Tuesday night, so she went back to what she was doing, her expression calm, but unreadable.
As Sebastian stood there for a moment, he wondered if his mother was ignoring him the way he’d been ignoring her. If that was the case, then this was probably just a waste of time, but she didn’t seem angry, not outwardly. At least she didn’t radiate it the way his father did. Sebastian swallowed and came to lean against the counter. “Do you want some help?” he asked, eyes looking over the setup. Dinner looked good, which was something at least. He’d rather be out with friends, but this was better than anything he could make for himself.
She hadn't expected Sebastian to offer to help and almost immediately Brianna wanted to ask what he wanted. Given his attitude the last week or so, and how little they spoke to one another, she couldn't imagine he was there to apologize. The knife she was using hit the cutting board sharply as she sliced through another pepper and Brianna looked over at Sebastian again, studying him silently for a moment before she spoke. "You can get the salad put together, if you feel like helping." She gestured to the refrigerator with the knife and then went back to what she was doing. "How was school?"
He almost jumped when the knife knocked the cutting board again and wondered this time if it was a good idea to talk to her when she was holding a knife. Not that he thought she’d hurt him, but… it just didn’t feel smart. Sebastian gave a little nod, then went to the refrigerator to gather up the lettuce and tomatoes to start. “It’s okay. Aced my test on Hamlet. About to start Wuthering Heights. Physics is okay.” If he had a B in Physics, he was happy. It was the only science he’d struggled with and just accepted that an A wasn’t in the cards. Which was fine. One B wasn’t going to kill his GPA. “I tried out for the school play.”
Wuthering Heights had always been one of Brianna's favorite books, but she didn't feel like bonding with Sebastian over literature in the moment. It always felt like reading would have been something she could share with Phee, but the two of them had never been terribly close either. Still, she was glad to hear Sebastian was still doing well in school. With everything going on right now, it would have been easy for him to slip in his classes. Hearing he had tried out for the school play drew Brianna's attention again and she looked at him with mild surprise. "You did? What's the play?"
Sebastian had enjoyed Hamlet, but he’d always liked Shakespeare. He wasn’t as sure about Wuthering Heights, it didn’t really look like it would be his kind of book, but generally tried to be open minded to start. He liked to read, but unless he was really into the book, reading was usually reserved for when he had nothing better to do. Getting out another cutting board, he started chopping up the lettuce and loading it into a bowl. “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” he said, glancing up at his mother. “I don’t know when they’ll post the parts, but I think I did good.”
"A Midsummer Night's Dream," Brianna said. She was trying to imagine her son in costume and was admittedly a little surprised that he had any interest in theater. But with football season over, she supposed there wasn't much else to do. "I didn't know you were interested in drama," she admitted. "Did any of your friends audition with you?" She found it difficult to picture someone like Greg Wheeler performing Shakespeare, in all honesty. But then again, A Midsummer Night's Dream was a comedy.
If it was a surprise to his mother, it was likely going to be a surprise to everyone, at least in this case. Except for Greg and Hunter, who knew he had an extensive catalog of Broadway hits memorized. That was something he’d kept to himself, aware of how stereotypically gay it made him. “I always thought it’d be fun, but they usually fell in the middle of football or basketball.” And once he was committed to a sport, he knew he couldn’t just miss games to be in a play. “Mak did,” he said, deciding it might be better not to mention Hunter, since he’d never brought him up before. She might recognize Mak’s name though, since she’d been tutoring him in physics. “I thought Jules might, but she’s got a lot going on.” Which was really just a guess, but throwing Jules’ name out there was a good distraction.
"So do you, apparently," Brianna pointed out coolly, though she was still focused on what she was doing. They may have been talking like nothing happened in the past week, but she was still upset with him. She was still upset with everyone in her family, really. Brianna was just better at hiding it, or holding it in, than James was. At least until she was pushed far enough to explode, but thankfully that was a rare occurrence. Right now the last thing Brianna was concerned with was Sebastian's love life, or lack thereof. Honestly, if Sebastian had been messing around with magic and bloodletting, then Jules was probably safer without him right now.
Sebastian’s actions slowed and he took a deep breath, really not wanting to get in an argument at that point. He got that he’d screwed up, that point had been driven home hard enough to cause a rift so wide that it didn’t really seem capable of repair, but with him still living at home it seemed essential that he at least try and fix things. “I was just trying to help people,” he said softly. “I never meant for it to-- to blow up the way it did. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” He knew it wouldn’t solve their problem, but he didn’t even know where to begin there. He wasn’t even sure he understood what the problem was that needed to be solved and, even if he did, it had been made clear to him that he shouldn’t be involved.
"Well, the next time you want to help a pair of witches by giving them your blood, try to talk to your father or myself first," Brianna said, even though by this point she knew Sebastian was well aware of her feelings on the matter. But she was still upset and irritated and some selfish part of her wanted her entire family to feel as miserable as she did. Sighing, Brianna set the knife down on the cutting board and finally looked at Sebastian. "Are you sorry, Sebastian? You've gone the last few days completely avoiding me, so why have you only just now seen the error of your ways?"
“You think I’m an idiot,” Sebastian sighed, not angry enough this time to conceal the hurt. “That I was being foolish and not thinking things through. Like I would just give my blood to anyone for whatever. But I did think about it. For days. And I still think it was the right thing to do. But I am sorry about the effect it had on our family. I never wanted us to be in danger.” He took a breath and wiped his hands clean before coming around the counter, no longer interested in helping or being anywhere near his mother. “I don’t want to be around people who hate me.” Which was probably over dramatic, but it was the truth. They could keep grounding him if they wanted. He just wasn’t sure if he cared what they thought anymore. It felt like he’d been trying for so long to do what they wanted, to be the person they wanted him to be. But he still wasn’t good enough. It was exhausting and made him miserable and he’d rather be just about anywhere else, especially when there were people who loved him for who he was.
Brianna just barely managed to resist rolling her eyes. Maybe she should have known Sebastian would be interested in theater given how dramatic he was sometimes. "Being upset with you, or angry with you, does mean we hate you. Yes, you were foolish, but that also doesn't mean we think you're an idiot either. Enough with the dramatics. Why don't you stay and try to have a mature conversation instead of running off the minute you don't like what you hear. I asked if you were sincerely sorry and instead of just saying yes, you pull this." She waved toward the unfinished salad. "I'm not interested in another drama filled argument, Sebastian, so if you want to retreat like a child, then go ahead. I'm not in the mood."
“I can’t talk to you because you don’t listen,” Sebastian said, trying his best to keep his emotions in check. His hands still shook though, and there was a slight tremor in his voice that he couldn’t seem to swallow back. The air around him dropped a few degrees creating a chill in the air, but he didn’t notice. “I’ve heard you say how foolish I am. You’ve made that really damn clear. And that I should’ve come to you. Except this is exactly why I didn’t. Because I didn’t want it to end up like this. And I still don’t understand how we wouldn’t end up here. Maybe I’d have talked to you, and you’d talk to Reagan, but would you still have said no? We had no way of knowing it would wake up your magic. And I just couldn’t see how telling two powerful witches that I wouldn’t help them could possibly go well if they thought their lives were on the line. So be mad at me. I said I was sorry and I meant it. You don’t have to believe me. But don’t expect me to come to you for anything. All you’ve done is make me feel like shit.” By the time, he finished there were goosebumps covering his skin and his lips were almost blue. His breath was visible when he breathed, and the vegetables had taken on a thin layer of frost. But Sebastian didn’t notice. He was just trying to keep his breathing under control, refusing to actually break down in front of his mother and grant her that satisfaction.
What was it about men? They couldn't just say they were sorry and leave it at that. They had to try and be a victim in the midst of apologies, to twist it around so that she was the one meant to feel terrible. Not that James did a lot of apologizing, but she could see where Sebastian got it from. "It's hard to believe you're sorry when you can't simply say you're sorry without turning into unnecessary drama," Brianna said simply. She walked over to the salad that he had supposedly wanted to help with to finish up, ignoring the way his magic reacted to his emotions. She could understand it, given how fiery she had felt when arguing with James a couple nights ago. No good would come from provoking it. "Believe whatever you want to believe about me, Sebastian. I'm too tired to have this conversation again. You don't have to come to me for anything. You never have anyway, so I wouldn't expect you to start now. And if you expected me to praise you for doing something dangerous, I'm sorry to have disappointed you. I'm sure you have homework to do, or friends to text, so..." She waved him off dismissively and got back to work.
“I didn’t expect you to praise me. I just hoped you would try and understand,” Sebastian said, sniffling a little despite himself. “I’m tired of fighting about this. I’m tired of being grounded. If I’m such a disappointment, I don’t even see the point in trying.” He wasn’t even sure what he was trying to accomplish anymore. If she couldn’t forgive him, then why did it matter if he listened to her or not? The only reason he was trying to obey was to get back in her favor, but that felt like a lost cause. When she dismissed him, he took a few steps back. “I’m going to Greg’s.” Or somewhere. He’d figure it out.
"Did you disappoint us? Yes. Are you a disappointment? No. And we never said you were. Stop playing a beaten down victim and maybe I would understand it a bit more," Brianna said. "Save the dramatics for your school play, sweetheart. If you aren't willing to have a mature conversation about this, and you want to go to Greg's, go to Greg's." She had enough to deal with then to try and smack some sense into her son. He seemed to want to take everything she said and turn it into a 'woe is me, nobody understands me' conversation and she was not in the mood for that either. Brianna was well aware that he would never understand where she was coming from unless he had kids someday, and that was fine Let James deal with the teenage angst, because she had no desire for it.
“If you wanted to have a mature conversation with me, you would stop calling me names and just do it. You don’t want to talk now anymore than you did last week,” Sebastian said, finally giving up and turning to leave the kitchen. That was a dismissal if he’d ever heard one. So much for trying to patch things up with his mother.