Who: Jared and Ty When: Thurs, Nov 9th, middayish Where: Jared's place Status: Complete
The last time Jared wore a suit, Ty had said something about eating him up. He'd been impressed and turned on. That was not going to happen today and it made Jared a little jealous of women who could dress up in a multitude of colors so their dressing up wasn't always the same uniform. Weddings, funerals, galas: dark suit. Today it was for Sadie's funeral and Jared took some time to get ready on his own. He loved getting ready with Ty, showering with him and joking around as they got dressed but today he needed solitude. He showered and shaved instead of just trimming his beard. Sadie had liked it when he did that and it felt appropriate somehow, to clean up completely. It would grow again in no time.
There was a dumb feeling of worry when he was ready that Ty would take one look at him and realize he'd been conned, that he didn't like his face beardless but Jared was aware that it was a dumb fear so he put it to rest pretty quickly. It would grow back.
Ty had been understanding about Jared needing some time to himself to get ready. He didn’t have his suits at Jared’s place anyway, so it made sense in both directions. Still, he was a bit hesitant to leave his man, promising to come back to pick him up and take him to St. Dismas for the funeral. Well, the viewing first, then the funeral. It was going to be a long, sad day, but Ty was going to be there for Jared every step of the way. Even if that meant just being a silent presence and driving him around. So he got ready at his own place, not wearing exactly what he’d worn to the gala, since this was a more somber occasion. He kept it simple and classy with a black suit and a slate gray shirt under it, and made sure to grab a bit umbrella before he left his apartment. It had been rainy as hell this week.
He parked in front of Jared’s place and got out instead of texting to say he was there. Jared might need some love before they left, and that was easier to do in a house than in a car. Ty walked up to the front door and gave a quick little knock before he opened it just to announce himself. “Hey babe,” he called as he stepped inside.
Jared headed out to the hallway, still tying his tie. Of course Ty was on time, he hadn't expected anything less, but he was still relieved to hear him. "Hey," he said a little sheepishly. Of course Ty had seen him clean-shaven before but that was before they were dating. It had been a while since he did it too and if it was a little weird for him to look in the mirror, it was probably weird for his boyfriend too. "Probably should have warned you," he said, squinting at Ty, his smile almost apologetic. "You look good."
The lack of beard was of course the first thing Ty noticed when he spotted him, but it wasn’t a huge shock or anything. Ty had seen him barefaced before, he was still handsome as fuck. He moved in closer with a warm smile back. “About what? That you’d be lookin’ so sharp?” he drawled quietly, running his hands down the front of Jared’s jacket. Ty always kept his own beard trimmed neat and barely-there, so his face wouldn’t look too different without it, but Jared’s did. Not in a bad way, just different. Ty brushed his fingers over one smooth cheek. “You look good too,” he said, then moved in for a kiss.
That touch made Jared feel weirdly emotional. Or maybe it wasn't weird at all. Sadie had always loved it when he had just shaved, before the stubble came out in full force. She liked the smell of shaving cream and the feel of his cheek. He tilted his head into the touch and gave Ty a faint smile before their lips met. He was already at a point where he wished the funeral was over. He hated funerals, like he was sure most people did. It felt like such a stifling way to say goodbye and he wasn't even sure Sadie would like the religious chatter much. They hadn't been a church-going sort of people and he didn't think that had changed after the divorce. Everything was just all wrong. Everything but Ty. "I'm glad you're coming," he said quietly when they parted, his hands idly stroking Ty's arms.
Ty figured Jared had shaved it out of respect, to look more formal. He didn’t need to question it, Jared had talked enough about how much he liked having a beard that Ty knew it would be coming back as fast as it could grow. But Ty loved him now no matter what he looked like, he wasn’t going to complain. He gave Jared a wan little smile. Ty wanted to say he wouldn’t miss it, but that kind of made it sound like an event he was looking forward to, and who looked forward to funerals? He reached up again to give Jared’s tie a slight adjustment that it really didn’t need. “I’m glad you want me there,” he murmured. That was a better response. The only thing that could’ve kept him from attending was if Jared didn’t want him to.
"I just wish we could sit together," Jared replied quietly. As a pallbearer he had a seat up front and he already felt weird and lonely just thinking about it. Knowing Ty was in the room would help though and he'd have someone to lean on if it got to be too much. Not to mention someone to drive him home. The little tie adjustment, needless as it was, was a sweet gesture and he found himself smoothing Ty's sleeves and adjusting his jacket idly. It had nothing to do with how well it fit or looked, just a grooming habit out of love. "God I hate funerals," he whispered then. "I hope this isn't over the top religious. Sadie wouldn't have liked that."
“I’ll be close no matter what,” Ty murmured, smoothing his hands over Jared’s lapels again. He might not get to sit up front with the family and the pallbearers, but he would make sure he was somewhere he could radiate support at the back of Jared’s head. And he would be right by his side once they were at the graveyard and all. He winced a little at the rest of it and wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, same here. Funerals are mostly for the family anyway, instead of the uh, deceased.” It was unfortunate, but just one of those things you had to sit through sometimes. Ty rose up on his toes to give Jared another soft kiss. “You want a drink or anything before we go?”
Jared nodded in a way that barely moved his head. He wouldn't get drunk off one drink but it might steady his nerves a little, soften him up and mellow him out. So maybe make that a couple of drinks. "We have some time," he said and cupped the side of Ty's face, looking at him for a moment. "You want one too?"
“Sure,” he answered with a small smile, patting Jared a little before he pulled away. He wouldn’t have much, since he was the one playing chauffeur, but he would raise a glass with his man before they went and fulfilled this sad obligation. Ty took Jared’s hand to walk with him toward the kitchen to see what sort of hard liquor he had.
There wasn't a whole lot of hard liquor in Jared's kitchen. He tended to buy what he intended to drink and then drink it so there was never much alcohol just sitting around save for beer. He still had a little leftover rum so that would suffice and he started idly mixing both of them drinks. He knew from experience that this sadness would fade and he'd start remembering Sadie fondly instead of sadly but it took time and he really wished it didn't.
Since they weren’t leaving right away, Ty slipped off his jacket and hung it on the back of one of the kitchen chairs, then went to lean against the counter next to Jared. Once they both had a drink in hand, he raised it in salute. “To Sadie,” Ty murmured. Maybe it was weird to lift a glass to his boyfriend’s ex wife, but she damn well deserved it, and who gave a shit about what was normal anyway?
"To Sadie," Jared echoed softly, clinking their glasses together before drinking to her memory. He gave Ty a sad little smile then and thought about how relieved he was that Ty had already seen him fall apart. He was afraid he would do just that after the funeral and knowing that wouldn't be the first time Ty saw him like that put a halt to all sorts of insecurities associated with that. So many people didn't like it when men got emotional, like the only emotions they were really allowed were joy and anger. He didn't feel that pressure with Ty at all.
Ty had prepped himself for multiple breakdowns surrounding all of this. Maybe Jared wasn’t going to grieve as hard as he would have if they’d still been married, but he’d loved the woman and Ty knew from experience that Jared loved hard. Feelings like that didn’t just go away, even if they changed in intensity. They’d stayed friendly, and that had been good, and now Jared was about to help bury Sadie. It was sad, and it made him think again about leaving this place completely. Now wasn’t the time to talk about it though; it didn’t seem like the time for small talk, or any talk at all, really. So he just stayed next to his man and sipped on the cocktail and tried to be unobtrusive and supportive at the same time.
His effort didn't go unnoticed and Jared appreciated it in a way he couldn't articulate so he just let himself enjoy it, taking his time to drink and give his man little smiles here and there until time finally ran out and they had to get going. "Let's go say our proper goodbyes," he muttered as he looked at the kitchen clock with a little sigh he couldn't quite suppress. It was going to be a long day and he didn't feel ready to deal with everybody else's grief but he knew that feeling would pass. There was a sense of community and family, coming together to mourn with a group of people. Just because he wanted to shy away from it at the moment didn't mean he wouldn't appreciate it when they got there. He took Ty's hand as he set his empty glass down, then leaned in to kiss him softly on the lips.