Jasper Lucas (sinsoftheson) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-08-03 20:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | #november 2017, jasper, jasper x jules, jules |
Who: Jules and Jasper
When: Tuesday, Nov 7, after school
Where: school parking lot, driving around
Status: Complete
The day before had been unbelievably good for Jasper. He’d spent almost all of it with Amelia. The only cloud had been her having to deal with their mother, but then that was over and they could go back to spending time together. He just couldn’t believe it, he felt so fucking happy. It was like the whole weight of the world had shifted off of him. Almost better, he knew that his dad felt the same. Jasper hadn’t seen Gavin smile so much in years. Even though she’d gotten older and had some dark shit happen to her, Amelia was still Amelia, and their family was back together again. Jasper didn’t believe in miracles, but he didn’t know what else to call this.
He came back to a lecture in the principal’s office about the fight he’d almost completely forgotten about, and how he was dangerously close to being completely off track to graduate. He needed to work hard to catch up, do make-up assignments, blah blah. They were trying to be more gentle than they wanted to be, Jasper could tell. He couldn’t be mad about it. He just had to work to keep a straight face and look serious and agree until they let him go back to class. School didn’t seem to matter too much at the moment, but he knew it would once the excitement wore off and things settled down. Until then, he just had to keep his secret.
Well, not from everybody. Jasper had caught a couple of glimpses of Jules in the hallway, but hadn’t had a chance to pull her aside yet. Not for something like this. He’d heard about Ms. Gaines and had called Jules to say he was sorry, he knew they were close. But telling her about Amelia couldn’t be a phone-thing either. He needed to see her up close and personal and hug the shit out of her before he shared the good news. So Jasper had sent her a text to meet him at his car right after school. He hurried there after the last bell and climbed inside to get out of the rain, rolling the window down a bit so he could light a cigarette. After tucking one between his lips, he scanned the area eagerly for his girlfriend.
Jules was feeling a bit run down and just overall blah feeling by the time school ended. It was hard to concentrate in her classes with everything going on in her head, and it was difficult to say what was doing the most damage. Jules felt like she was living in some bizarro mindfuck right now and there didn't seem to be any way out of it. Jules was relieved when the last bell rang and she walked to her locker to get rid of a couple notebooks from her bag. She checked her phone after and found a text from Jasper to meet her at his car. She had seen him here and there in school, but there hadn't been a lot of time to actually talk. At least not about anything important. When she walked outside, Jules headed in the direction of his car and could see the soft orange light from his cigarette in the open window. The rain was a bit annoying so she jogged lightly the rest of the way and came around to open the passenger side door and slip inside.
Resting her bag between her feet on the floorboard, Jules brushed her damp hair back from her face and gave him a small smile. "Hi," she said, leaning over to give him a quick kiss. "Everything okay?" The question was instinctual, because she knew everything wasn’t okay, but Jules just wanted to make sure nothing had happened to him recently. It would be just like this town to pile on more badness on top of already existing badness.
Jasper had a smile for her as soon as she got in, and he wanted so much to linger in that kiss. But he knew he would just confuse her if he glommed onto her like he wanted to without explanation first. Things were so much more okay than she could even imagine. Jasper knew he couldn’t just blurt it out though, she would rightfully think he was crazy. What was happening was pretty crazy, but it was nice to have something crazy and good finally happening. “Hey,” he said first, turning a bit to face her more. Jasper reached out and took Jules’s hand. “I have some news. Like, good news. But you have to promise to hear me out, okay? ‘Cause it’s weird.”
Given the past couple of weeks, it was admittedly a little jarring to see Jasper smiling. He had been so miserable lately, for good reason. Seeing that look on his face now was a bit contagious and Jules's own lips twitched, albeit briefly. Because seeing Jasper smile also made Jules nervous for reasons she couldn't really explain, especially when he took her hand and told her he had news. "Okay," she said slowly, studying his face intently, as if it might reveal some hint or clue as to what he was about to tell her. "How weird is weird?" Jules was pretty well versed in weird right now, but Jasper had said it was good news, so the weird part couldn't possibly be bad.
He could see she was cautious, and Jasper couldn’t really blame her. If Amelia had come home as a nine year old, saved from whatever horrible fates they’d been constantly imagining for her, he would’ve been calling Jules almost immediately to share the good news. This though ... this had to be presented right. Jasper just hoped that she would believe him -- he’d believed her about stuff, but dreams were a bit different. “Really weird,” he answered, then let out a chuckle and took another drag from his smoke. Once he’d blown it out toward the window, he looked at her again. “Amelia’s back. She showed up on Sunday, just ... came and knocked on the door. And I knew her immediately, and so did the dogs, but she’s ... different. She’s older.” As he spoke, he let go of Jules’s hand to pick up his phone and open up the photo gallery. Jasper pulled up one of the selfies he’d taken with Amelia the day before, and turned it so Jules could see. He couldn’t help but grin. “And before you call me crazy, the cops already had DNA testing done. It’s her. Dad went to pick up the results today.”
Her heart leapt when Jasper told her Amelia was back - because What? When? How? - but the joy she felt for him muddled a bit as he continued and concern and confusion slowly began to seep into her expression. "She's older," Jules repeated, wondering for a moment if maybe Amelia's disappearance had finally gotten to Jasper and he snapped mentally or something. Jules studied him as he got his phone out and her eyes ticked to the screen. There was a girl in the picture with him, and she looked to be about their age. Jules had never met Amelia, though she had seen pictures of her. This girl did look like her, but... it was crazy. She would have said so if Jasper hadn't mentioned the cops and DNA. "How is that even possible?" Jules asked, not really sound incredulous, but just... curious. Beyond curious. How did someone age that much when they were only gone a couple of weeks?
Jasper could see she was skeptical, and he didn’t blame her a bit. If he hadn’t seen Amelia yet, he wouldn’t have believed it either. He probably would’ve been pissed off at the claim, honestly. But something in him had recognized her almost immediately when he opened the door. Jasper might have been questioning his own sanity if the dogs hadn’t recognized her too, and then his dad. And now there was paperwork coming to prove that she belonged to them. He thought now that maybe he should’ve waited for that before he told Jules, but Jasper just couldn't keep it to himself anymore. It was too good.
“I know, it’s nuts, right?” he said, still grinning. “She got ... taken somewhere else. She doesn’t remember a lot of it now, she said, but it was this dark place, dangerous, and time moved different there. She was there for nine years, to her. Which is just ... fucked up, you know? And then she found this black goop that was like a portal, and she went through it and ended up back here, in the woods. She thought we would all be older too, but ...” Jasper trailed off and shook his head. “I know it sounds like some stupid movie, but I swear to God it’s her. She knows stuff she couldn’t know otherwise, we spent like, all day yesterday reminiscing. The cops put her up for a few days to keep her away from us until they checked her out, but the DNA test is a match to Dad.”
Jules would have definitely called this whole thing insane had it happened months ago. But knowing what she knew now, was it so impossible to believe? Weird, freaky shit happened in Point Pleasant all the time. Did black goop portals exist? Was there some kind of parallel reality in Point Pleasant? What a scary thought that was and Jules shivered a bit, thinking about that thing that seemed to stalk her and the other three in their dreams. "Nine years," Jules whispered. "That's fucking awful. I mean... if she's back and they say she is who she says she is... it's great! But... she also spent nine years of her life in that place? I think I would need major therapy if it had been me. I can't believe something like that could even happen. Okay, well, maybe I can believe it at this point, but still..." Jules exhaled, her gaze glancing toward the rainy windshield. Most of the cars had left the school parking lot already, but she was in no real hurry to get back to hers. "I'm glad she's back, Jasper, I really am. But at the same time, it's like, is that creepy portal in the woods? She disappeared from your mom's yard, right? So does it just... open up wherever? Is she sure nothing came back with her? You know what I mean?"
Thinking about his sister’s probable trauma did dim the smile on Jasper’s face, but it was difficult to get rid of completely. He was just so stupidly happy to have her back, and Amelia seemed so happy to be home, it was easy to forget sometimes that she’d basically been through hell for half of her life. Even more hell than she’d been through while she’d still been with them. Whether she could remember it or not, she probably did need tons of therapy, so he nodded to that part. What therapist would believe her story though? “There oughta be like ... supernatural therapists, you know?” he murmured. “People who believe shit. But yeah, she came out in the woods, she said. She doesn’t remember going in, so ... I dunno if just some hole opened up under her or something grabbed her and took her there, or if there’s like ... more than one goop-hole. We’ve got more questions than answers right now, we’re just wrapping our heads around the idea that we got her back, you know? Just don’t go wandering around in the woods.” Jasper gave Jules a wan little smile, then took her hand again to squeeze and kiss it.
Jules had to agree with that one. She would love to talk to someone who knew this stuff existed and could, like, help. Jules herself was floundering, and she hadn't been stuck in some weird goopy world like Amelia had. Even so, despite the mindfuck, Jules loved seeing Jasper smile again, and he seemed genuinely happy. She just hoped Amelia wasn't some weird otherworldly being who had taken on the girl's appearance to fuck with Jasper's family. Probably not likely, and it was stupid that her brain would even go down that path right now. Smiling faintly, Jules decided not to tell him about the woods outside of town. Thanks to Greg, she hadn't gone in them, at least. "I'm really happy for you guys," she told him, because she didn't want him to think she wasn't with all of her questions. "This is just the weirdest thing ever. If she was there for nine years, does that mean she's technically older than you now?"
Jasper knew she was happy for them -- how could she not be? -- but he also totally understood the hesitant confusion. It was a lot to take in. It had been a lot to take in when he’d had Amelia right in front of him, and Jules didn’t even have that recognition to work with. That question made him laugh, and fuck, that felt good to do. “Yeah, that’s what we said too,” he said, amused. “She doesn’t seem like it though. She doesn’t know much about anything, we’re gonna have to teach her a bunch and get her like, a fake ID and all. I can’t wait for you to meet her. She asked about you, if I was still with my cheerleader girlfriend.” He grinned. “When she was gone, I kept thinking about how I should’ve introduced you and now I can.” It was the best fucking feeling in the world, honestly. Jasper had always known he loved his sister, of course, but this felt like it was on a whole different level. Impulsively, he leaned over the console to kiss Jules again. “I love you so fuckin’ much,” he murmured. “Thank you, so much, for being so awesome through all this.”
Well, that made sense. Amelia disappeared when she was so young, and she hadn't finished school or anything. Was she still nine, mentally? Jules had so many questions and she was betting Jasper didn't really have the answers. No doubt his family had all asked those questions too. Smiling softly, Jules found she was actually excited to meet Amelia. It would be a weird, but bright spot, in her life and Jules really needed something good before she fucking lost her mind. "You don't have to thank me for that," Jules said, nuzzling her nose against his. It felt so good to touch him in that moment, and to hear him say he loved her, especially now that things seemed to be turning around for him. It wasn't just grief pushing those emotions now. "I love you too. And I can't wait to meet your sister. It's really nice to see you smiling again."
“It’s nice to do,” Jasper murmured, smiling reflexively again before he pressed his lips to hers some more. He wanted to be somewhere more comfortable, even in the backseat, where he could pull Jules into his lap and snuggle the shit out of her and just hold on and be close and talk. He didn’t think he’d ever felt so loving and affectionate in his whole life. He’d hugged and cuddled Amelia a lot, and now he just wanted to do the same with his girlfriend. Only with much more boob touching. Jasper settled for kissing her for another moment or two, then pulled back to look at her. “Are you busy? Wanna go somewhere?” he asked. “I feel like I, like ... haven’t even really been alive for two weeks.” He gave a little huff and kissed the corner of Jules’s mouth again.
Jules could understand why he would feel that way. He had thought he lost his sister. She wished she could have been better for him, and while she knew Jasper was grateful that she had stayed and been there for him, she still felt like it hadn't really been enough. What she wouldn't give to just erase all the crap in her head now and be as happy as he was. Smiling a bit against his mouth, Jules nodded. "Sure, where do you want to go?" He would have to bring her back to her car later, but Jules doubted he would mind. It had been part of their pattern during the summer, after all. Jasper picked her up, they went to screw, and he drove her back to her car. God, she missed summer. Not that she would want to give up what they had now, she just wished she could rewind all the other stuff.
Jasper knew he hadn’t been easy to deal with over the past couple of weeks. Sure, it had been understandable, but that didn’t mean it had been easy on Jules. Or anybody around him, honestly. Her patience with him was something to be damn grateful for, in his opinion. He’d even punched her brother and she’d had nothing bad to say about it. All of the emotion made Jasper want to just pull her into the back seat right there -- it was funny how being in love made him horny -- but if they could go somewhere more private, even better. “Up to the spot on the cliff?” he suggested, arching a brow at her. It overlooked the water, and was a popular spot to park and make out, they’d been there a hundred times. With the weather and the timing, Jasper was willing to bet they’d be the only ones up there.
Jason had seemed to take some of the blame for what happened to Jasper, so it hadn't felt necessary to get mad at either of them. Sure, she had been irritated that it happened, because Jason should have known better, and Jasper could have been expelled, but... it was over now and both boys were back in school. "Okay, that sounds good," Jules said with a nod. She settled back to get her seatbelt on. Admittedly, it did feel pretty good that Jasper wanted to spend some time with her. He could have just told her about Amelia and then left to go back home. Jules found she was looking forward to hanging out with him without a super dark cloud hovering over them the entire time. And maybe being with Jasper would cheer her up too. "So, like, does your whole family know about Amelia now? I'm guessing you guys don't plan on telling everyone, right?"
He flicked his cigarette out the window and exhaled before he rolled it up and re-settled in the driver’s seat. Jasper was eager to spend some time with Jules too. He would’ve taken her home, but he didn’t want to overwhelm Amelia with people, and it was so exciting that she was there, he didn’t want to disappear into his room with his girlfriend, either. So neutral ground was better. Besides, after the times they’d both been having, they needed some privacy. “Everybody close knows, yeah,” he answered as he pulled out of the school parking lot. “I think anyway, my dad was gonna tell my aunt and uncles. And I’m sure they’ll tell their girlfriends, but that’s about as far as we want it to go. Mom knows, of course. We’re thinkin’ we might start telling people that Amelia’s like ... a cousin come to stay with us for a while, call her somethin’ else, you know? They can get her a fake ID and everything, they know people who do that kinda shit. I couldn’t wait to tell you,” he added, shooting a grin over at her.
"That's probably a good idea," Jules said, nodding. If his family could get a fake ID and all that, then maybe Amelia could have a semi-normal life. She hoped so, anyway, because Jasper looked so happy and Jules didn't want to see that ripped away from him again. Her lips twitched faintly. Being in love and actually caring about another person like that was so weird. Jules reached over and rested her hand on his leg, squeezing gently, her smile growing. "I'm glad you told me. I mean, my brain might explode and everything, but that should pass soon, I think. And I missed you." They had spent time together, sure, but it hadn't really been the same. It wasn't anything Jasper could have helped, but it had still been hard.
“Dude, my brain totally exploded,” Jasper said with a laugh, dropping his hand to cover hers. He glanced over at her with another smile. His cheeks had been sore for the past two days, he wasn’t used to grinning like an idiot all the time. It felt good though, really good. “I knew you’d wanna know, but I wanted you to see me say it, you know? It’s like ... more real, that way. I missed you too, though.” He stroked his thumb against her fingers and settled back into driving a bit more comfortably. It felt nice to be there, like old times. He missed the simplicity of those days too, even though everything felt good right now. “How’s things been going?” he asked, arching a brow a bit. “I’m sorry I haven’t like ... caught up with you much. Everything was just so ... fucked up.” He made a vague gesture at his head.
Oh, she was definitely glad he hadn't tried to tell her about Amelia over text, or even the phone. Jules was sure she would have eventually believed him, but that kind of news needed to be told in person. As much as Jules wished a lot of her own weird crap hadn't happened, or wasn't happening, in a very small way, she was thankful for it, because it made Jasper's story about Amelia easier to believe. If this had been a couple months ago, she would have called him insane... or she would have assumed Amelia was insane. His question caused Jules to look out her window rather than at him as she tried to figure out how to answer. He hadn't 'caught up' with her much over the past couple of weeks, which... she understood why and everything. He had been worried about Amelia and that had been the most important thing. And he was happy now, so Jules didn't feel right throwing all of her stuff at him. "Things are fine," Jules said finally, shrugging softly. "I mean, other than Ms. Gaines, obviously. But you know, school and all that stuff. Sebastian mentioned maybe having a small bonfire at the beach next weekend, so maybe we can do that."
Jasper winced a little at the mention of Ms. Gaines. Duh, of course there was that, and he was sure Jules felt down about it. He pulled her hand up to kiss the knuckles as he drove. “That sounds fun, yeah,” he answered. He immediately thought of maybe bringing Amelia along, but it was probably way too soon for socializing with the people who were his peers, and he couldn’t smother her all the time, even if he wanted to. They needed time apart, and he needed time with his girlfriend. It said a lot about his mood that he didn’t even blink at the idea of hanging out with that crowd. Jasper just wanted to be with Jules now and have some kind of normalcy in his life. “So no more dreams or anything?” he asked, glancing over at her. He’d gotten the sense before that she was maybe holding something back, so he just wanted to check.
Jules couldn't even remember the last thing she had told Jasper about. Was it after the bus crash? He didn't know about Nic, Neil or Carson yet. Or the dreamwalker they were supposed to see. Or the... thing. She didn't really want to tell him and ruin his good mood. Just as she hadn't wanted to tell him and make things worse when Amelia was missing. But Greg knew now, and Sebastian, sort of, and it felt kind of shitty that her friends knew what was happening to her and her own boyfriend didn't. "Some dreams, yeah," Jules admitted and after a moment of hesitation, "It's kind of a long story, but we're figuring it out. It's just a bunch of, like, guesswork right now." It felt like it would take forever to tell him everything. The sleepwalking and dreams and that thing, and bloody noses and everything. "But I'm okay."
He noted the say Jules said some dreams and not just a dream, and the ‘we’ didn’t escape his noticed either. Jasper’s brow flexed a bit before he glanced over at her. “Who’s we?” he asked. “And I got all kinds of time for a long story, so. What’s going on?” He understood why she probably hadn’t wanted to tell him bad stuff while his baby sister was missing, and Jasper knew he’d largely checked out mentally anyway, so he wouldn’t have been any help. He felt some useless guilt for that at the moment, but now things on his end were okay again, so he wanted to listen and be there for Jules as much as he could now.
"Oh. Nic, Neil and Carson. They've been having the same dreams I have. They experienced those mirror hallucinations too. We've actually had, like, these weird shared dreams and..." Jules paused, aware that she could make this sound confusing if she just started rambling. So she started from the beginning, at least from the last thing she remembered telling him about. The weird vision thing she had when the bus crashed right outside of town. Jules told him about the shared dreams that started, and the sleepwalking, and how Mike picked her up in the middle of the street, and then how Jules found Carson at the gym. Meeting Nic and Neil, and the nose bleeds and the maybe dreamwalker. She glanced at him every few seconds, relieved in a way that she could finally tell him all of this, but also not really sure it changed much. Maybe Jules was feeling a tiny bit resentful that he hadn't been there for her, but it wasn't his fault, with Amelia being gone, and Jules hadn't told him anything anyway, so how could he be? By the time Jules finished, they were at their destination and Jules sighed. "The other day I figured out where our dreams were taking place, and Greg Wheeler drove me out there to take a look. So he knows about this stuff too but I asked him not to tell anyone. Hopefully the dreamwalker lady will be able to tell us what's going on."
Jasper listened to it all as he drove, his expression shifting here and there as he just let Jules talk. It felt kind of fucked up that she had only told him the tip of the iceberg of all of this. He wasn’t sure he was following the timeline right, but sounded like a lot of it had happened even before Amelia had gone missing, so what did that say? Jasper had believed her from the start, he’d even tried to help protect her with the hex bag -- which sounded like it had done fuckall, at least in relation to this. He parked the car in the spot before she was done and let the engine idle to keep the heat on, turning to look at her a bit as he lit another cigarette. Even Greg fucking Wheeler had been involved in shit Jasper didn’t know about? He knew he’d been a wreck with his sister gone, but Jesus. He was quiet for a moment even when she stopped talking, chewing absently on an already-stubby thumbnail. Jasper wanted to ask her why she hadn’t told him any of this, but he didn’t want to make it about him, either. It was all scary and stressful, he was sure, and it wasn’t like he could help. It just kinda stung that she’d kept lying when he asked her how she was doing. “Did you see anything?” he asked in a low murmur instead. “When you and Wheeler went out there?”
Jules shook her head softly and sighed. "No. I wanted to check the woods, but Greg wouldn't let me. Probably for the best... it got kind of creepy while we were there, and my nose started bleeding again. We booked it out of there pretty quick. But I told the other guys about it. Not sure if we're going to go out there or not, or just wait for the dreamwalker to help us." It was more of the 'hurry up and wait' attitude, but she hadn't had any weird dreams since visiting the road outside of town. There was the tiny glimmer of hope that maybe the whole thing was over, but that's all it was. A glimmer. The four of them were still okay, so that was something. Jules watched Jasper before motioning to the cigarette. "Can I have a hit?" She didn't usually smoke cigarettes, but what the hell. It might help her relax. Not as much as pot, but it was something.
If it got creepy and Jules’s nose started bleeding, Jasper supposed he ought to be grateful to Greg for stopping Jules from wandering into the woods. That never seemed like a good idea anymore. He’d never had a real problem with Greg Wheeler, the guy was just a loud jock who needed Ritalin or some shit .. but he’d helped Jules out, so that was points in his favor in Jasper’s book. He was still frowny over it, because it was weird and scary. “So you trust these three guys?” he asked as he offered his cigarette over to her. “They haven’t been creepy to you or anything?” The whole thing was one kind of creepy, but Jasper would bust some faces if it turned the other kind of creepy, he didn’t give a fuck who these dudes were.
Jules took the cigarette and shook her head as she brought it up to her lips. She didn't like cigarettes as much as weed, but it would do for now. "They're not creepy," Jules assured him, rolling down her window a little so the smoke wouldn't linger in Jasper's car. "Neil's kind of... I don't want to say stuck up, but he's kind of tense. Nic, he owns that spice and tea shop, and he seems mostly normal. Carson's that vet who lost a leg? They've been fine toward me so far and I don't get any creepy vibes from them. I mean, I guess I trust them? They're going through the same thing as me, so it feels like I should. But we have like, zero things in common, so it seems like all of this is totally random. I don't know if that makes me feel better or not." Jules handed the cigarette back to Jasper and then reached up to brush her fingers through his hair. "I think we've got it under control so far? So I don't want you to worry or anything."
It was a small relief that they seemed like solid guys to Jules. He felt vague recognition about the legless guy part, like maybe Jasper had seen him around, but that didn’t mean much. He understood the disappointment in her voice about all of them not having anything in common though, that might’ve been a helpful clue. It was hard to know what was actually going on, and that made it all that much more scary. He took his cigarette back and took another drag off of it, exhaling toward his own cracked window. The rain was still falling softly against the car, and it felt kind of insulating, like it was only the two of them in the world at the moment. If only. Jasper huffed a little and gave her a look. “Like I can just not worry about you,” he murmured, reaching over to stroke her cheek with the backs of his fingers. “Keep me more in the loop, okay? I wanna help if I can. And don’t go back out to that road without me. Please.”
"I'm definitely not going back out there if I can help it. Definitely not alone," Jules promised. It had been eerie and cold and if she had to go back out there, she was going to make sure the others were with her. Jules wasn't crazy enough to explore that area by herself. She covered his hand with her own, slipping her fingers through his. "I will. And... I didn't purposely keep you out of the loop, Jasper. I just... you were going through a lot. I didn't want to add to it." She didn't sound upset or angry or anything. Jules just wanted to make sure he didn't think she hadn't wanted him involved. It had been hard not to pick up the phone whenever something scary happened. He had always been the first person she had wanted. Bringing his hand to her lips, she kissed his fingers. "But I feel like you're back now, and I won't keep anything from you."
Jasper knew there was probably nothing he could do to help her even if he was there, if she decided to go to the road with the others. He was kind of useless when it came to scary supernatural things. But that didn’t stop him from wanting to be there, wanting to help. Maybe part of him was a little paranoid that Jules would disappear just like Amelia had. Or worse, she might never come back. “I know,” he murmured, watching as she kissed his hand. Jasper brushed his thumb against Jules’s cheek, feeling some pressure in his chest. He still wasn’t used to people trying to look out for his emotional well-being. “But I am back now, and I’m here for you. C’mere.” Jasper nudged one finger under Jules’s chin as he leaned over the console to kiss her softly. “I love you,” he whispered. “You kept me going.”
Jules smiled softly against his lips, her eyes closed. She wasn't sure how much she actually did for him. Jules had felt more than a little helpless anytime they spent time together, but maybe just being there had been enough for him. And she wanted him to be there for her too, more than anything. "I'm still getting used to hearing you say that," she murmured. Then she opened her eyes to look at him, though she didn't pull away. Her fingers curled over his leg. "And I don't want you to feel like you have to say it, you know?" Jules knew things had been really sad and fragile with Amelia being gone, but she also knew how he felt about the L-word before Amelia went missing. The last thing Jules wanted to do was put Jasper on the spot about everything.
For someone who’d never really had that kind of support, Jules’s presence and attentiveness had meant a lot to Jasper. He knew he hadn’t been easy to deal with, and she’d just kept showing up and checking on him. For a high school relationship that had started out purely physical and kind of tumultuous, Jasper thought it said a whole fucking lot that Jules hadn’t washed her hands of him. He looked into her eyes, not sure if she was questioning his sincerity or not, now that he wasn’t in the middle of a crisis and all. “I don’t feel like I have to do anything,” he murmured back, a tiny smile quirking up one side of his mouth. “Except maybe make sure the people I give a shit about know it, because any of you could fucking disappear at any time.” Jasper’s brow furrowed a tiny bit and he stroked his thumb against her face again. “You believe me, right?”
Jules had no idea what would have happened if Amelia had disappeared before the Feelings started seeping into their relationship. Would she have found the empathy to stick around? Would he have wanted her to? She couldn't really answer those questions, since Jules wasn't entirely sure when she started having feelings for Jasper in the first place. Not that it even mattered because all that mattered was how they felt now. She didn't want to find any kind of silver lining in Amelia's brief disappearance, but if it helped Jasper express himself more freely... maybe something good came of it. "I believe you." Jules told him, bringing her hand to his face to cup his jaw and bring his mouth back to hers. She kissed him again, thankful that she was spending time with him now, rather than having just gone home. Then Jules smiled and slipped her hand back into his hair. "You love me," she teased, pressing another kiss to his lips. "Who would've ever saw that coming."
He believed that she believed him, which was nice. Jasper was happily kissing her back, then had to huff a little laugh against her lips. He cracked his eyes open to peek at her, then gave her another grinny kiss. “Not me,” he murmured. “You love me back, though, so ... you got the short end of the stick.” Jasper had never imagined he would be fucking Jules Cooper in the first place, much less that it would turn into this. They’d bickered so much in the beginning, when they weren’t humping like rabbits, and then it had morphed into something so much deeper, and now he wouldn’t trade it for the world. He was still convinced that she was going to graduate and get out of this town and leave him -- as she should, because there was so much fuckedupness going on -- but he was okay with that for the moment. Jasper was just glad to have something so good in his life. He kissed her again, slipping his hand to the back of her neck.
Jules might have argued with him, but then he was kissing her again and it was hard to think about anything. She couldn't exactly deny that when they had first started hooking up Jules knew she was slumming. That had been part of Jasper's appeal. He had done things to her no one else had ever done. Things no one else was ever allowed to do. Sneaking around had been fun. Fighting had been fun. Things were different now, obviously, but Jasper was still able to turn her on something fierce, and she still wanted him now as badly as she had then. Maybe even more so now that she had accepted how she really felt about him, and it seemed like he felt the same way about her. Jules wasn't thinking much about the future, although sometimes when she did she just assumed Jasper would be a part of it. But that wasn't something they really had to talk about now, or even the foreseeable future. They had plenty of time. And right now he felt so good, his lips and tongue making her body start to throb with an ache she hadn't been experiencing much at all lately. Being in his car, parked in an isolated spot, surrounding by gray skies and rain, it reminded her a lot of the beginning of summer when they first started sneaking around. Jules cupped his face, kissing him deeper now just to lose herself in her boyfriend and forget the rest of her troubles.