Jacob Keller (bodyonthetracks) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-07-29 04:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | #flashback, #october 2017, jacob |
Who: Jacob + NPCs
Where: Portland, unnamed cafe
When: October 13th, afternoon
Status: Complete
Aidan wasn't the first person to tell him he looked like shit this week and Jacob had to begrudgingly admit he was right. He had not been sleeping well at all lately and he was feeling the effects. He met with his ex boyfriend at their favorite cafe where Aidan had his usual latte while side-eyeing Jacob's third cup of black coffee.
"Damn," Aidan said quietly. "You are feeling like shit, aren't you." By then Jacob knew he was fucked. If Aidan noticed something that didn't directly involve him, Jacob's misery had to be pretty damn blatant.
"I just... I can't fucking sleep," he muttered and all the coffee he'd had already that should be making him feel better only made him feel jittery and yet still tired. It was truly a miserable combination. "I keep having that same dream. Like... I'm moving through a tunnel except.. I'm standing still and it's the tunnel that's moving, you know? That's what it feels like, like I'm standing still and the tunnel is just fucking whooshing past me."
"Very dramatic," Aidan observed, between sips of his latte. "Have you tried sleeping pills?"
Jacob hadn't tried sleeping pills. He'd tried alcohol and pot but not prescription medication. He was leaving a part of the dream out for now, the part that didn't feel like a dream at all. The part where he woke up and couldn't open his eyes but still felt his bed and everything around him keenly. And then Grayson was there, like he was hovering over him or leaning in close, his lips right by Jacob's ear, speaking his name. It sounded gleeful and Jacob always woke up with a start when Grayson started laughing, feeling as if he was about to hurt him. It didn't make much sense. Grayson died five years ago - presumably. They weren't that close, though Jacob had wanted to be - wanted to and yet not.
Aidan was snapping his fingers at him. "Wake up, sunshine, you're zombified. Did you hear me?"
Jacob looked at him a little blankly. "I haven't tried sleeping pills," he muttered with some irritation. "I'm not sure it's a good idea anyway, I've got a lot of work to do, with the comic and all."
"Yeah, I bet you're doing a great job too," Aidan snorted. "Lack of sleep makes for quality work." He smirked. "Though in your case that might actually be true. Rachel has this theory that the more we push ourselves toward misery the more creative we get, did she tell you about it? There was some study-"
Jacob stopped listening at that point and Aidan's words faded pretty fast. He was staring at his coffee blankly and then he couldn't resist closing his eyes just for a second. That second stretched out until it wasn't a second at all, was nothing at all really, just a blank moment in time and then Grayson was there again, right next to him, whispering his name.
"Wow you're no fun," Aidan said when Jacob snapped his eyes open and inhaled sharply in shock. "You're literally falling asleep on me. I'd be so hurt if I didn't know you're exhausted."
Jacob looked at him blankly, his heart beating too fast, like it was having its very own panic attack inside his chest. "Sorry," he muttered. "I should probably fuck off."
Possibly the most terrifying thing about these dreams was that it wasn't just today, it had been an ongoing thing since early September and seemed to only be getting stronger by the day. Grayson hadn't been part of it at first. There had just been the tunnel. Sometimes Jacob was inside, sometimes he was standing right at the opening but the view was pretty much the same, black tunnels and something lurking in there, waiting for him. The dream last night had been far more intense with the way he was moving through them without walking, wind whipping at his hair as the tunnel walls rushed by. And now there was Grayson with that same annoyingly teasing attitude he'd always had when they were eighteen - before he disappeared.
"But Erin is here," Aidan said and waved at someone behind Jacob. Even if he hadn't said her name, Jacob would have known who it was the moment she leaned against his back, her arms on his shoulders, bracelets jingling and spikes digging into his skin.
"Who's a pretty boy then," she purred in his ear and leaned in over his shoulder enough to smile at him. "Or not," she added with an arched brow.
"Wow you guys are ruthless," Jacob groaned and pressed a little kiss on Erin's tattooed arm. "I know, I look like shit and I'm fucking everything up again." He nodded slowly. "I know."
"Yeah you are," Erin said as she slung her bag onto an empty chair and then took a seat in another. "Our narrative teacher? Still hot. So hot. You should have come back this year."
Jacob let out another groan. There wasn't enough coffee in the world to make him feel better and he gave Erin a sullen look.
"I'm so leaving now," he said though physically he didn't really feel like actually moving.
"Aw c'mon," Erin said. "I'll be nice. I'm sure he'll still be there next year. It's not like it's Defense Against the Dark Arts, jinxed or anything."
"Har har," Jacob murmured but Aidan honestly laughed. Nerds.
"Because that's the part that upset me," Jacob said.
"I'm allowed to bug you about dropping out at least once a week," Erin reminded him. "We had an agreement."
"Has it been a week already?" Jacob sighed as he picked up his cup of coffee again and sipped the now room temperature sludge.
"Yup," Erin replied jovially.
"Are you done?"
"Yup."
Jacob nodded and put his cup down, then took the opportunity when Erin moved closer to the table to rest his head on her shoulder. The spikes on her leather jacket felt nice against his skin and he thought maybe that was weird but honestly, who cared.
Erin was ruffling his hair gently as she started talking to Aidan and it was so easy for Jacob to just close his eyes and drift again. There was no Grayson this time, no tunnel, just minutes that felt like seconds and Erin's voice drifting in and out of his consciousness. He decided he was totally crashing at her place tonight. Maybe she'd be up to smoking some weed, watching some stupid movie. Maybe she was the key to helping him not have nightmares for once.