Carson Durand (dontlaugh) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-06-21 20:21:00 |
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Entry tags: | #october 2017, carson, carson x rylee, rylee |
Who: Rylee and Carson
When: morning/early evening, Sunday, Oct 29th
Where: home, then out
Status: complete
There was more to the dream, but it was fleeting. Carson just knew he was wet and couldn’t breathe. It was dark. He was drowning. Terror and lack of oxygen clutched at his chest as she tried and tried and tried to struggle upward, to push against the weight of all that water and get himself back to the world he belonged in. His lungs burned and he could hear his heart hammering in his chest and finally even the faint blue light started to fade, giving way to blackness ...
Carson woke up coughing, sitting up abruptly in bed and fighting to get air into his lungs. His heart was racing, he felt dizzy and disoriented. But he was just in his room with morning light filtering in through the curtains. It was still hard to breathe, and when Carson coughed again he saw a spatters of red appear on the comforter in front of him. Startled and still getting his bearings, his hand came up to his face and came away slick with blood. He felt a little stab of panic as he touched his face again, finally registering that it was his nose that was stuffy and bleeding and keeping him from breathing well. “Fuck,” Carson muttered. Just a nosebleed. But a gory one, a glance down at his chest told him. He looked back at his pillow and it was streaked with blood too. Goddammit.
He struggled out of bed and grabbed his crutch. Carson’s nose was still dripping, so he kept his free hand over it, trying to keep the blood from getting all over the carpet as he clumsily made his way down the hall toward the bathroom. He bumped into the hall wall a few times on his way, left a bloody streak on the lightswitch, and finally managed to get over the sink.
Rylee was still sleeping when she heard Carson stumble his way down the hall outside her room. She had been out late with a couple friends and had come home and fallen asleep in her clothes, and she might have slept until well into the afternoon had she not heard Carson bump into the wall. Rylee stirred and squinted her eyes open, staring at the dresser across from her until it finally sunk in that Carson might need her. He had certainly bumped into the wall, and while that could have just been morning sleepiness, Rylee didn't want to assume anything. Would he have called her if he needed her? She didn't really know anymore, but it didn't matter.
Rolling out of bed, Rylee pushed her hands through her tousled hair and left her room, noting that the bathroom door was open and light was on. Wrapping her arms around herself, Rylee peeked cautiously into the bathroom. "Hey, are you... Jesus Christ." There was blood everywhere and she hurried to his side, her hand reaching to touch his bicep. "What's wrong? What happened?"
By the time Rylee got there, Carson had started the water running and was cupping it up to his face to try and wash some of the blood off. It was still coming through, running out of his nose almost as fast as the water was coming out of the tap. Fuck, how was there so much blood in his head? He looked over at Rylee, half-relieved she was there and half-hating it. He was just a constant source of problems for her, wasn’t he? “I dunno, just ... woke up like this,” he said, the words sounding stuffy and a little strained. Bending down lower, he pushed one nostril closed and blew, trying to clear some of the blood out. It just made it look like he was murdering someone in the sink. “Fuck me,” he muttered.
Rylee moved around Carson to grab one of the towels hanging on the rack. It did look like a lot of blood and she wondered briefly if it was a side effect from his medication. Or maybe the air was just dry. Who the hell knew. "It's okay, Carson. You need to sit down and pinch right above your nostrils," Rylee murmured, folding the towel quickly. "Has this been happening frequently?" If not, maybe they could at least cross out the meds being the cause. Because that was a lot of blood... Rylee wasn't sure any of her nosebleeds had ever been that bad. And maybe she was just reading too much into it, wanting to help and be useful after the past couple of weeks. He might not even want her there.
This seemed like much more than a dry-air nosebleed. Carson couldn’t remember ever having one this bad. He moved to sit on the closed toilet as instructed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. Which was what he should’ve been doing, but he’d kind of forgotten the best way to deal with these. Thank God for Rylee. Always. “No, this’s the first one,” he answered, his voice nasally and thick. He grimaced and reached for the offered towel so he wouldn’t be inhaling blood through his mouth. “I was dreaming about drowning, and hey look, body’s tryin’ to kill me again.” The humor was dark, but whatever. Everything was dark now.
It was dark humor, but it didn't bother Rylee. She knew how frustrated he had been over the past few weeks. Carson couldn't seem to catch a break and she felt shitty that she hadn't been able to help him at all. She had only been adding to the problems. Sighing softly, Rylee tried to remember if there were any cold compresses in the freezer. She rubbed his shoulder. "Or it's trying to save you by waking you up," Rylee countered. "Lean forward just a bit, okay? That should help. If it doesn't stop soon, we'll go to the doctor." It looked pretty bad, but nosebleeds stopped... they always did, right? But Rylee made a mental note to look up the side effects of his meds, just in case this was one of them.
Carson leaned forward. She was right, waking up covered in blood was better than choking on it in his sleep. That would’ve been such a pussy way to go out. Death by nosebleed. Fuck. He pinched harder and leaned sideways a bit until his shoulder bumped into Rylee’s leg. He wanted her arms around him, wanted to cuddle up next to her and go back to sleep, wanted to really tell her what was going on and have her believe him. So many things he couldn’t have. It was isolating, and he sucked at dealing with that. The timing was stupid, but with her soft, loving presence, he was feeling how much he missed her very keenly all of the sudden. Along with all the other complicated emotions around her. It was just hard to talk in his current state.
Rylee smoothed her hand over the top of his head, aware that she couldn't exactly make the bleeding stop, but she could be there for him until it did. It was just a nosebleed, albeit a strong one, but she supposed it gave her an excuse to touch him again, since they had more or less been avoiding things for the past ten days, or however long it had been. There was so many things she wanted to say, and do, but Rylee knew it was for the best that she didn't. So she continued to stroke his hair, occasionally glancing down at the towel at his nose to see if she needed to get him a new one. After a couple of minutes full of silence, Rylee licked her lips and brushed her fingers against his jaw to get him to lift his face a bit. "How is it now? Any better?"
Maybe she couldn’t make him stop bleeding, but Rylee’s touch was always comforting to Carson. Probably too much. But everything had been so hard and scary lately, he knew he was just barely holding on until he broke and had an outburst or something. It just sucked so hard that he didn’t think he could share it with her. She would just think he was going crazy again and take him back to the hospital. And a werewolf in a hospital was not something he wanted to run the risk of being. Carson didn’t know what he actually believed yet, but the time was coming soon when he would have to face it one way or another and know. He looked up at the touch and unpinched his nose, still holding the towel under it in case it started gushing again. Carson felt a little trickle, wiped it away, but it seemed to have stopped for the most part. “Think I’m okay,” he murmured and sniffed. “Sorry I woke you up. Again.”
That was a relief, and Rylee exhaled softly and gave him a small smile. "It's okay. I'm sorry you had to wake up to that. It's not the best way to start the day. If you want to shower I can put some coffee on for us." He may just want to go back to sleep, but now that Rylee was awake and the latest crisis had passed, her head was starting to throb from the drinks from the night before. Coffee and aspirin sounded pretty damn good to her at that moment. "Do your sheets need washed?" He looked pretty bloody and if he had woken up to the nosebleed, his sheets and pillow might be covered in it as well.
It was a pretty shitty way to wake up, but so was waking up standing in the middle of the road. Something else he couldn’t tell Rylee about. God, Carson hated this, all of it. Hadn’t he paid enough fucking dues in life? He just wanted to chill and live and not have to deal with all this. “Yeah, they’re kinda a mess,” he said, wiping at his face a bit more with the towel. He definitely needed a shower. “I can get ‘em though, you don’t have to. Coffee sounds like heaven.” Before she got too far away, Carson looped an arm around Rylee’s legs to pull her into a hug, forehead pressed lightly against her belly. “Thanks Ry,” he murmured.
"It's fine," Rylee told him. "They probably need stain treated, and I can get them over to the laundry room while you shower." At least then she could be useful. That was all Rylee really wanted. Sometimes she found herself afraid that Carson would realize that he could get on just fine without having her around, and then that would be that. So maybe she searched for things to insert herself in, like washing his sheets. It was probably irrational and silly, but Rylee couldn't exactly talk herself out of it. She had been feeling the distance between them rather acutely lately, and it seemed like he kept moving farther away from her. Her hands settled on the back of his head again when he pulled her close. "You don't have to thank me," she murmured, running both hands through his short hair. "That's what I'm here for."
As far as Carson was concerned, he owed her more thanks than he could ever give her, even if he said it every minute until he died. He felt that distance too, and it was contributing to his despair over everything else. Carson needed her, and always had, and now that there was this gulf between them ... he didn’t know what to do or how to fix it. He gave her a gentle squeeze and resisted the urge to kiss her tummy. He was still all bloody and that was probably a thing he wasn’t supposed to do. So Carson just let her go and got to his feet again, offering out the bloody towel so she could wash that too. Then he headed to the shower to turn the water on.
Rylee took the towel and turned away to head for his room so she could strip his sheets and pillow case. It gave her something to do, at least. She was a woman who had been menstruating since she was thirteen, so she knew a little bit about getting blood out of fabric. Rylee gathered everything up that looked like it had been stained and she threw them into a laundry basket before grabbing the detergent and stain treatment from the hallway linen closet. Slipping on her flip flops, Rylee left the apartment to head for the laundry room, ignoring the vague wish that she could slip into the shower with him. That wouldn't be helpful to anyone.
After getting everything stain treated and in the wash, Rylee returned to the apartment and headed straight for the coffee machine. She didn't even care that she still looked like she had rolled out of bed. Who did she had to impress right now? She got the coffee started and then sat down at the small table, running her hands over her face and back into her hair. Closing her eyes, she sat there like that for several minutes, breathing in and out and trying to right herself mentally. All Rylee wanted was things to be normal again, but it felt like that was damn near impossible now. Maybe if she just talked to him about what she had been up to, as boring as it was, that would be a start. Right? Rylee sighed and lifted her head to stare at the television across the room before she shook her flip flops off her feet and stood to get two coffee mugs down so they could have some.
Carson had a similar desire to pull Rylee into the shower with him, so it was probably best that she went away to help him out. He washed himself thoroughly, then just stood under the hot water spray for a while and thought hard. Tried to remember his dream. He wondered if the others had woken up with nosebleeds too, or if it was just him. He wondered if they would even want him involved in anything if they knew what he might be. He especially wondered if he really was going crazy, actually entertaining the idea that he might be a werewolf. That last one was probably an affirmative. Feeling heavy and tired and like he needed to eat, Carson finally got out of the shower.
He dried off, crutched his way down the hall to his room again, put on some clothes and his prosthetic, then made his way to the kitchen. His leg had healed enough that he could walk mostly normally now, with just twinges of pain if he took it too fast or twisted his calf weird. At least that was somewhat back to normal. Carson grabbed a banana and joined Rylee at the kitchen table with his coffee and a sigh. “Hey,” he re-greeted her with a faint smile. “So ... starting over. Good morning. How’d you sleep?”
Rylee sipped her coffee and then gave him a somewhat sleepy smile. "Oh, wonderful. I got plenty of beauty sleep, as you can see." She framed her face with one hand, well aware that her mascara had smudged from the night before, and her cheeks were still splotchy from the amount of alcohol she'd had. She didn't look her best, but it was what it was. Carson had definitely seen her much worse than this over the years. Rylee wrapped both hands around the mug again to warm them. "What about you? I mean, beside the horrible dream and nosebleed. How are you feeling?" He seemed to be walking better, at least, which hopefully meant his leg was healing properly.
He grinned at her a bit. She might have looked like a bit of a hot mess, but that had never made her any less beautiful to Carson. Rylee was real, and he got to see her in all kinds of states. It was an intimacy he’d never reached with any other woman. Granted, he’d never lived with another woman, and that probably had a lot to do with it, but still. It was Rylee, so it was more meaningful. He just hated that she didn’t look too happy, but he couldn’t blame her, either. Everything had been hard lately. “Ahh ... leg’s feeling better,” he started with, so he could say something positive first. That always made therapists happy. Carson shrugged a shoulder and lifted his coffee mug to take a sip. “The rest of it’s ... I dunno. Things feel weird. Lots of things,” he murmured, glancing up at her.
That was probably an understatement, and they both knew it. She set her elbow on the table and rested her chin on it as she studied him, still feeling sleepy and groggy from the night before. But Rylee didn't want to blow him off, no matter how exhausting these talks made her, mostly because they never came to any conclusion. "Yeah," Rylee agreed. "What else feels weird? Besides us, I mean." Because that was the most obvious thing, wasn't it? She had no solution to it, beyond just trying to talk and get things back on track between them. She couldn't have him in the capacity she wanted him, but Rylee refused to lose him as her best friend. It would probably take some time, but she was willing to put in the work to get things better between them again.
That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? Carson had noted that Rylee looked tired, and maybe talking about real shit before they’d even gone through their first cups of coffee was stupid, but was there ever actually a good time? They’d been dancing around one another for a long time now, and it really sucked. Carson hesitated though, because so much of it sounded so fucking crazy, and Rylee already thought he was kind of nuts. He licked his lips and nibbled on the bottom one, idly picking at the corner of a napkin on the table. “I dunno if you’ll believe me,” he said, glancing up again with a faint huff and a little smile.
Her brows inched up briefly before Rylee realized he had every right to think that. After the mirror hallucination, and telling his doctor about everything... if something was going on that he considered to be weird, of course he might doubt Rylee's ability to believe whatever he might tell her. But she wanted to be open minded and make sure Carson knew he could come to her with anything, even if she didn't always have the reaction he wanted her to have. "We'll never know unless you tell me," Rylee countered with a faint smile. "Carson, you know I'm here for you. You can tell me anything."
Did he know that? Carson wasn’t so sure. He knew she wanted to be there for him and support him and all, it was just that her idea of support was more of the medical kind. He didn’t want to get sent back to the hospital. A small voice inside of him murmured that maybe that was what he needed, maybe all of this was all in his head, maybe the conversations he distinctly remembered having to confirm that this weird shit was real hadn’t actually happened. But more of Carson knew better. “I’ve uh ... been having these dreams,” he started, hesitantly. Better to begin with the thing he had the most solid evidence for, even if none of it was on hand. “They started after the mirror thing ... they’re weird and scary, but there’s people in them. People from town. And they’re real. I’ve talked to all of them now, and they’re all having the exact same dreams. We’re all supposed to get together really soon and try to figure out what’s going on.”
That wasn't exactly what Rylee had been expecting to hear, and it probably showed in her expression for a moment or two before she blinked and lowered her hand back to the table as she lifted her coffee mug with the other to take a sip. As far as she knew, the mirror thing had been a hallucination, hadn't it? His meds had been off. Maybe the dreams were a side effect too. But... could she keep blaming all of this on his medication? Medication he had been on for years? Rylee didn't want to 'pooh pooh' him straight away, or at all, really, but Rylee couldn't just dive into belief blindly. It was a strange, almost impossible thing to be happening. "Who else from town is experiencing this?" she asked finally, once she had set her mug back down on the table. If they were people she knew, maybe she could double check that this was actually happening, that Carson wasn't just imagining it.
Carson hadn’t really known any of them before this, but he had their names memorized now, that was for sure. “Neil Wainscott, Nic Castell, and a high school girl named Jules Cooper,” he said without any hesitation. “Hang on, look.” He got up from his chair and walked out of the kitchen and down the hall again to his room to fetch his phone. Carson came back and pulled the text message thread up that they’d all exchanged, then offered it over to Rylee to see. He couldn’t exactly fake that, right? There wasn’t detail in those messages, but it was at least proof that he was talking to other people. He nibbled on his bottom lip as he sat down again, watching her face.
Nic? That was really the only name she recognized, though she had the vague notion that Neil was the librarian. Confused, Rylee watched Carson disappear and when he returned with his phone, she took it and scrolled slowly through the brief messages. She wondered if Nic realized Carson was her cousin. He knew, right? Although if all of this was going on and was true, she couldn't blame him for not putting two and two together. Carson probably hadn't. But it was there, in his phone, and it was clear he wasn't imagining those messages. It was just something Rylee was still trying to wrap her brain around, like this could actually be happening. But then it occurred to her he had mentioned when it began. "This has been happening since the mirror thing?" Rylee asked, her brows drawn together in confusion now as she looked up at the phone to Carson. "That was... over a month ago, wasn't it?"
Had it been? Carson’s sense of time was so warped now. But yeah, it had to be, because it was before the bite, and that was almost a month ago now. “Yeah,” he answered with a nod. “I mean, not every night. But there’s been three or four of them. Really vivid, scary, and I see those people.” He nodded at his phone in Rylee’s hand. “I didn’t know who they were, or if they were even real or just part of the dream. But then, uh ...” He hesitated and licked his lips again. “One night last week I woke up outside. I’d put my leg on and sleepwalked out there. And there was another dude -- turned out to be Neil -- who’d done the same thing. He lives in one of the buildings nearby, and we talked. So that was when I found out these were real people and this shit was really happening. He’d already been in contact with Nic. The next day Jules walked into the gym and found me. I know how it sounds, trust me. But it’s true.”
It sounded too unbelievable to be true, but if there were other people involved, real, flesh and blood people, what was she supposed to say? That four people were having similar hallucinations? That was really pushing the definition of coincidence. Rylee blinked and looked down at the phone again, a soft huff escaping her as she tried to reconcile all of this. "Why didn't you tell me you were sleepwalking?" she asked instead, setting his phone down on the table. "You could have been hurt...I just..." She hadn't even heard him leave, which was a little scary and unnerving. Rylee was just trying to accept the fact that this had been happening for over a month and she had no clue. Yes, she knew about the mirror, but if something had started happening after... he hadn't told her. No wonder he felt so distant from her. Rylee wasn’t even sure what she was feeling at the moment. Confused, concerned, freaked out… hurt? Something. She couldn’t exactly explain it.
Carson shrugged, feeling a bit of extra tension seep into the muscles between his shoulder blades. “It was just the once, as far as I know,” he told her. He decided it was probably better he not tell Rylee that he’d woken up standing in the middle of the street. He could’ve gotten hurt. He couldn’t gotten killed. But that didn’t seem as important as everything else, for whatever reason. “I just ... I didn’t know the dreams were anything but my stupid brain until that night, and I feel like ... I dunno, the sleepwalking kinda led me to Neil. And he knew Nic already. And then Jules came and found me on purpose. It was all too weird to be an accident.” Carson paused, scraping his teeth over his bottom lip again. “And they saw the mirror stuff too. And had the crazy mood swings. All of them, the same thing. It’s connected somehow. ... I didn’t want you to think that I needed to go back to the hospital,” he ended in a low murmur. “So I waited. But now I got like, confirmation.”
It blew her mind that all of this had been happening and he hadn't told her. For over a month. Did he think she would just drag him off to the psychiatric ward? Apparently so. But the mirror on its own was one thing, but all of this combined? It was so out of the realm of possibility, and yet, she couldn't deny that it was happening, and that it was real. Maybe she could have helped him. Maybe not. It didn't really matter now. Rylee didn't even know what to say. It sounded like something out a book, or movie. Not the romantic comedy kind either. It sounded creepy and strange and there was a sense of dread that had settled in her gut. Rylee picked up her coffee to take another drink, though she couldn't really taste it anymore. "So what are you going to do," she murmured finally. "Do any of you know what this could possibly mean?"
It had occurred to Carson that Rylee might be upset with him that he hadn’t told her, but considering what they’d originally thought -- he was having a psychotic break -- he hadn’t wanted to risk landing back in the ward. Rylee was a rational person who didn’t believe in stuff like this, Carson knew her well enough to know that. He’d always been slightly more open minded, but fuck ... he wouldn’t have believed him either. He hadn’t believed him, in a sense, Carson had been pretty sure he’d been going nuts too. Carson shook his head at her question and gave a helpless little shrug. “No idea yet,” he said. “We’re hoping all of us getting together will help somehow, or like ... reveal something? We can’t talk to each other in the dreams, maybe ... maybe something doesn’t want us to. I dunno.”
For a fleeting moment, Rylee couldn't help but think of Freddy Krueger, stalking people and killing them in their dreams. Obviously that wasn't happening here, but it still sounded like a nightmare. Rylee had no idea what she could do to help... probably because there was nothing she could do. There was three other people involved - a friend of hers included - and it seemed like they were handling it the best they could. Carson had been dealing with it on his own for awhile now, and he seemed all right. "I'm going to try really hard not to freak out," Rylee told him. Her hands had tightened instinctively around her mug. "Just... let me know if you guys figure anything out. It sounds like something out of a horror movie and that doesn't sit well with me."
Carson gave her a wan smile. “You can freak out a little, it’s pretty fuckin’ freaky,” he said. “God knows I’ve been freaking out.” He wondered if he ought to tell her there was some sort of monster involved, some evil force that kept screaming at them. The protective part of him hesitated, because he didn’t want to worry her to death, but at the same time, he knew she might be pissed if she found out later. And God, none of this was even touching on the werewolf issue. “But yeah ... horror movie is right. I think there’s something ... in the dreams with us,” he said a bit slowly, watching Rylee’s face. “There’s always this awful scream and like, the feeling something’s right behind me before I wake up. So. We need to figure something out.”
"Jesus," Rylee whispered. She did want to freak out. And she wanted to yell at him for not telling her earlier. Something could have happened to him between then and now and she might have never known. The concern and fear was there, and maybe a little bit of anger and something else she couldn't really describe. But worry for Carson trumped everything else at the moment. She could unpack all the conflicting emotion later, when she was alone. Letting go of her coffee, Rylee ran her hands through her hair again, elbows resting on the table as she closed her eyes and took a breath. "When are you going to talk to them?" she asked, opening her eyes to look at him again. "Soon?"
He kept quiet to give her space to process it all. Carson knew it was a lot to accept, especially for someone who didn’t believe in this kind of shit in the first place. He’d had lots of time to accept it himself -- or rather, to try and pass it off to himself as misfiring neurons until there was proof staring him in the face. The mirror weirdness had felt so real, but he’d been convinced by Rylee and the psychiatrists at the VA that it was a hallucination. But it hadn’t been. Carson nodded when she looked at him again, still nursing his coffee. “I’m gonna text them, see if they woke up with nosebleeds too,” he said. “Bet they did. We’ll figure out when to meet up. I’ll keep you posted ... promise.”
Rylee nodded, staring down into her coffee now. She tried to put herself in his shoes. What if all of this had happened to her? It would have definitely freaked her out, and she would have probably questioned her own sanity. But she knew she would have also run to Carson for help, or at least support. At the same time, she understood that things were different for him, because of his circumstances, and she had already upset him by telling his doctor about his hallucinations, which apparently weren't hallucinations. Now all she could really do was wait for him to talk to these people and try to figure out what was happening to all of them. "I think it's going to take me awhile to just... digest all of this," Rylee said finally. "Belief and rational thought keep warring in my head."
“I get that,” Carson told her softly. “I was pretty sure I was just ... losing my mind.” He gave a huff that didn’t come off as amused as he wanted it to. He still kind of felt like that might be a possibility, regardless of the concrete proof he thought he had. Some people with severe schizophrenia hallucinated all kinds of complex things, didn’t they? What if none of these people were actually real? But thinking about possibly being crazy made Carson start to feel crazy, and he was trying very hard to keep a grip on reality. Maybe having Rylee’s perspective involved now would help with that. He’d always trusted her a lot. He’d just been scared her skepticism would be proven right. Carson got up to refresh his coffee, pausing to put a hand on Rylee’s shoulder. “You want a refill?” he asked quietly.
She felt a mild surge of frustration, wanting to know why he would keep that from her. Wasn't she supposed to be there to help him? That wasn't the only reason she was there, but that was part of it. But Rylee was clear headed enough to recognize that everything she was feeling at the moment was a result of her own issues, not Carson's. He hadn't wanted to tell her for a reason, and what could she say to that? It wasn't appropriate to make any of this about her, or about them. Not that there was really a them, but still. She blinked a bit when he touched her, and Rylee looked up at him with a faint smile, shaking her head. "I'm fine, thanks. I think I need to get in the shower and try to wake up and get myself going this morning." Telling him about her college courses felt small and insignificant now, compared to what he was apparently going through. Jesus, how could any of this be real? Rylee picked up the half full coffee mug and stood to carry it to the sink. "Are you feeling okay now? No headache from the nosebleed or anything?"
Carson shuffled on to the coffee maker for his second cup, nodding a bit to what she said. “Yeah, I feel all right now. Just still got that taste in the back of my throat, y’know. What shift are you working today?” he asked. Now that he’d unburdened himself some, he was wondering if she maybe wanted to spend some time together somehow. Just kicking it and watching TV, going out for a walk, something. Carson obviously hadn’t been keeping up with his regular running schedule, but having a walk would probably be good for him. If Rylee wanted to hang out with him that much, that was. Maybe it would be weird now. He hoped not. It was weird enough as it was.
"I'm off today," Rylee said, dumping the lukewarm coffee into the sink and rinsing out the cup. She supposed she could have lied and given a time, but she didn't feel like having to leave and find something to do for six hours just to avoid Carson. That felt silly and unnecessary. Rylee turned off the sink and dried her hands while looking over at Carson. "Do you have to be at the gym?" She really had no idea what he had been up to lately, obviously, and it was possible he had plans for the day even if he wasn't scheduled to work.
He’d always had a policy of never booking clients on Sundays, just to make sure he always had one full day off, so Carson’s schedule was equally free. He felt a little awkward suddenly, as he shook his head, like he should just leave her alone to enjoy her day off, but ... Carson felt like he’d been doing too much leaving her alone. He just didn’t know if she felt the same way. “You wanna do something?” he asked, looking at Rylee’s face with a bit of muted hope. “Drive out to a mall or go see a movie or something?” It had been a long time since they’d just spent the day together, out doing shit and talking and being friends. He missed that dearly. He just hoped it was still possible.
Did she? Sitting in a dark theater with Carson for a couple of hours didn't sound terribly appealing, only because she knew it would be difficult to concentrate, given what he had just told her. It would eat at her, gnaw and bite until she exploded. Which meant it was probably better for her to just keep to herself for the day. Only... she didn't want to keep to herself. It felt like she had been alone for weeks now, and Rylee missed him. Even if things were 'over' between them in a weird sense, Carson was still her best friend and she desperately wanted things back the way they were before... everything. "Sure," she said after a moment, a small smile playing at her lips. "Just... give me a bit to shower and everything and we can do whatever you want, okay?"
Carson could sense the hesitation there, and it hurt in a way, but he couldn’t say he blamed her. He’d been hesitant to do a lot of things with her lately, and Carson was sure she hated that just as much as he did. He didn’t know how they were going to find any sort of balance if they didn’t try to do normal shit together. It didn’t have to be a movie, they could take a walk somewhere pretty, or go splurge on something, or just sit somewhere outside the apartment and talk some more ... Carson just really wanted to spend the day with her, more so now that he’d mentioned it. Somewhere outside of these walls. “Okay,” he answered, giving her a little half-smile back.
Rylee turned away and headed down the hall for the bathroom. She took a long, hot shower, taking some time to just let the water beat down on her body as she tried to work through all of the emotions overwhelming her at once. At some point tears began to well in her eyes, but she refused to cry, well aware that all of this was essentially her fault. One, for not believing what he had seen in the mirror in their bathroom, and two, for telling him how she felt and thinking things would work out. Now everything felt off and awkward and as badly as she wanted it to be how it was before, Rylee knew deep down it wouldn't be. Finally, after washing herself off, Rylee climbed out of the shower, wrapped a towel around her body and headed for her bedroom to get dressed.
She joined Carson in the living room ten minutes later, wearing jeans and a light, blue sweater. She hadn't bothered drying her hair, so it was pulled up into a ponytail to keep out of her face. "So, do you want to catch a movie? Or go for a walk? Shopping?" Rylee knew his leg was healing, but she didn't know how comfortable it was for him to be on it for long periods of time, and she didn't want to make his pain any worse.
While Rylee showered, Carson distracted himself by making a quick oatmeal breakfast with fruit and munching down along with his second cup of coffee. He was starting to feel better overall, more human ... except for the part of him that still wanted to climb into the shower with his cousin. Maybe that was a human urge too, but it wasn’t a good one. He just wanted to be close to her, to soothe their broken bits with touch and kissing and that love he knew he would never have for anybody else. But Rylee had said it was done, over. They couldn’t and shouldn’t. But damn if he still didn’t want it. Carson was done and changed into real pants and had washed the few dishes by the time Rylee came out again, and he gave her a smile that was just a little sad around the edges. “Let’s uh, go out to the mall in Bangor. Do some shopping, see what’s playing in that theater, if you want,” he suggested. Maybe getting out of town for a bit would do them some good. Maybe the whole thing would be stilted and awkward. They couldn’t know until they actually tried.
Bangor. It was a bit of a drive, but maybe that was a good thing. Getting out of town might do them both good, and Rylee felt a bit desperate for his company now that they were getting ready to leave. "I think that sounds good," she said, slipping into her shoes. “We haven’t been there in awhile.” At least being out meant they weren't spending time together in. Rylee knew what she would be tempted to do and things were already confusing and weird between them. She got her keys and purse and gave Carson a smile that came a little easier to her. Maybe because she could recognize some of the emotion in his own, and she wanted to try and fix this, not make it worse. "Ready to go?" She was fine with driving, since it would at least give her something to focus on.
Bangor was a reasonable distance away, but Carson didn’t think he would mind the drive. Or the ride, since Rylee wanted to be the one driving. Maybe she would let him drive back. He was just glad that she wanted to go -- or was at least willing to pretend she wanted to go. Sometimes that was enough. It was more effort than they’d been giving each other for a couple of weeks now, which was good, even if they’d had their reasons not to. Everything was so scary, Carson felt like he really needed her, and maybe now they could heal some. “Yup,” he said, following her to the door so he could get his own shoes on. He really hoped this ended up being fun and relaxing and good for both of them, they needed it.
Despite a somewhat awkward start to the day, Rylee eventually found herself relaxing in Carson's company as they drove to Bangor. They spent the morning and most of the afternoon shopping and visiting a couple galleries before stopping for lunch. They had skipped the movies, which Rylee thought was probably for the best. Since they were talking and seemingly enjoying themselves, she didn't want to spoil that by sitting in a dark theater silently for two hours. Once they realized how late it was getting, they headed back to Point Pleasant with a couple shopping bags littering her back seat.
She hadn't asked him about his shared dreams at all while they had been away, not wanting to risk things getting too heavy or weird again. But driving back home now, Rylee had time to let things sink in, and she had already made plans to talk to Nic about everything. She opted not to remind Carson how she knew Nic, because she didn't think it really mattered, though now she worried for Nic too, if he was experiencing everything Carson was.
Once they were on the interstate heading home, Rylee glanced at Carson, who had volunteered to drive them back since Rylee had driven in the morning. "So... these dreams... what happens in them?" she asked. "You said the other three people are there, and they've all been having the same dream, but... what kind of dreams are they?"
It had turned into a nice day. That relaxation hadn’t happened immediately, but the two of them apparently still had their knack for making each other laugh, and after a while things felt more normal between them. As long as they stayed distracted, at least, which was easy to do in a mall. Carson’s calf was throbbing a bit by the time they were back in the car, but it was a small pain and one he would gladly endure to have that feeling of companionship with Rylee again. It made him feel a bit reluctant to go home, like it might slide back into avoidance and shitty feelings, but they couldn’t just stay gone for forever.
He arched a brow and glanced over at Rylee at the questions, then twisted his lips to the side a little. “They’re uh ... bad dreams,” he said with a bit of reluctance. Carson didn’t want her to overly worry about him, but maybe that was kind of stupid, since he had so many things to worry about at this weird point in his life. “Everything’s all dark and shadowy, I’m outside ... I sort of ... wander to this clearing, only it’s not that defined, it’s just sort of ... open space. And I see the other three of them. This screeching noise starts up when we try to get closer, talk to each other. It gets louder and louder, and I get that feeling like I’m being rushed from behind, and then I wake up.” He made a ‘that’s it’ sort of gesture with his fingers and gave Rylee a wan smile. “Not a lot to go on.”
She didn't have the first clue as to what that could mean, if it meant anything. Clearly it wasn't a subconscious thing if it was a dream shared by three other people. And Rylee wasn't sure she wanted to know what could possibly be screeching in those dreams either. Just the thought of it made her shiver. "And it made you sleepwalk too? Was that the same kind of dream as the others?" Had he been sleepwalking before and just not realized it? Maybe this thing in the dream, whatever it was, was using them as conduits for something. Rylee didn't want to suggest that and freak him out if it hadn't already crossed his mind. Which it probably had, given how long this had been going on.
Carson nodded a bit. “Just once, as far as I know. There’s only been like, two of those dreams. And the one last night where I was drowning, that one ... I dunno, kinda felt connected in some ways. The others had it too, I got a few texts.” They’d been texting off and on through the day, quickly determining that they’d all had the same dream and they were going to meet up tomorrow. Carson hoped hard that all being in the same room would be enlightening somehow. If it wasn’t? He had no idea what to do from there. “We’re gonna meet at Nic’s shop tomorrow afternoon, once Jules gets out of school.”
"The others had nose bleeds too?" Rylee was surprised to hear that, because that meant it wasn't just a normal, run of the mill nosebleed. She could feel the pricks of anxiety start up again, but Rylee licked her lips and tried to ignore them. Panicking wouldn't be helpful at all, and she doubted it would make Carson feel any better. He was probably panicking too, even if it was just internally. Rylee supposed she was still trying to figure all of this out and find some kind of rational explanation for it. "Maybe the four of you are supposed to save the town," she said finally, a small hint of amusement seeping into her voice. "You'll become... like the Power Rangers. Is it sad that I can't think of any other comparison than that?"
Carson had been doing plenty of internal panicking, but he’d become sort of numb to it now. There had just been so much to panic about lately -- thinking he was losing his mind, assaulting Rylee when he was out of his head, seeing shit that supposedly wasn’t there, all the mood swings, the dreams, the not-a-dog-bite, the stress because of the step in their relationship and trying to figure out what that meant, confirmation that dream shit was real, finding out he might be a werewolf ... it was all just too much. And some of it he couldn’t share with Rylee, not yet. She was freaked out enough. It might come to bite him in the ass later, so to speak, but how could he put more stress on her? She already carried so much for him. What she said made him smile and chuckle faintly. He tried to picture Neil in a Power Rangers suit and had to laugh a bit more and shake his head. “I dunno, maybe,” he said. “I’m claiming the black Ranger right here and now, if that’s the case. I’m more inclined to think ... I dunno. I really don’t know what to think, honestly. If there’s a connection we’ll try to find it, if it’s just some random bullshit ... let it run its course? I dunno.”
"It doesn't sound like random bullshit," Rylee said thoughtfully as she gazed out the window. "I mean, maybe it's random in who it chose, but... I don't know. Does this kind of stuff run its course, or is there a reason behind it?" She was just asking hypothetically, not really expecting Carson to have any answers, since she knew he didn't. The only connection she could think of between Carson and Nic would be her, but she had no idea who the other two were. "I wish I could help," she murmured. "It just feels like this is something out of my realm of knowledge. Not that I know a whole lot to begin with. But... if there's anything I can do." Maybe he would tell her, maybe not. Things felt a little bit better between them, but that didn't change the fact that Carson had waited a month to tell her this was going on. Rylee still felt a little removed from his life. At least the important parts.
It was a good thing Rylee didn’t expect him to have any answers, because Carson didn’t. He gave a helpless shrug, then nodded a little as he glanced over at her. This was all new to him too. He’d always been a bit less of a skeptic than Rylee was, but he’d never been faced with so much evidence that the crazy shit in the world existed. Now it was impossible to ignore. And might get even more so. He felt another stab of guilt for not telling Rylee about the werewolf possibility, but ... Carson was really hoping Adam was completely wrong, and it would be nothing, and he could pretend it never happened. “Thanks,” he murmured. “If there’s anything that comes up as something to do, I’ll let you know.” He almost suggested that she start sleeping with him to stop him from sleepwalking, but considering their situation, that seemed like a bad idea. “Maybe put a bell on me at night? Like a cat?” He chuckled without a lot of humor.
Rylee laughed at the mental image that conjured. "Kinky," she said. Even if they were making light of the situation, it did worry her. She didn't like knowing that Carson had gotten up and left the apartment without her knowing. Something awful could have happened to him and Rylee would have never known. Her smile grew a bit softer as she glanced at Carson. "I... may start sleeping with my door open, though. Just in case it happens again, maybe I'll hear you. I mean, unless your heart is set on wearing a bell all the time, then we can go that route," she added, a teasing lilt to her voice.
Carson let out a bark of a laugh at ‘kinky,’ flashing a bright grin over at her. “You would think so,” he teased back. It didn’t make a lot of sense, but it didn’t need to. It actually felt like they were kind of having fun, in spite of the subject matter, and that was beyond sorely needed. “Might be a good idea,” he continued. “Door open. I’ve thought about trying to do something to mine to like ... make it noisy if I open it in the middle of the night. Or maybe just ... leave my leg in your room or something? I can’t fuckin’ believe I put it on in my sleep, I thought sleepwalking people did dumb shit like put the phone in the fridge or something.” It hadn’t seemed like this was normal sleepwalking though, so maybe the normal rules didn’t apply.
"My mom always has one of those door decorations for Christmas, with the jingle bells on them? I mean, seems silly but it might help if this happens again. I'm not sure what to do with a sleepwalker, but I could at least make sure you don't get hurt. But you can leave your leg in my room too, though I would be afraid you would try to get somewhere without it. I have no idea what sleepwalkers do, but given your situation, it may not exactly be... I don't know, normal? Something may be controlling you." Rylee hadn't given it a lot of thought before she said it, and she cringed once she did, because that was more terrifying than anything else.
Jingle bells sounded like something that could actually work, if they would wake Rylee up when Carson opened his door. If he left his leg somewhere, it was possible he would just use his crutch to sleepwalk, but maybe that would make it harder? Or maybe it would just trip him up and he would break his face open in his sleep or whatever. He’d thought of Rylee’s suggestion before, of course, but it was too scary to really think about. If there was one thing Carson hated above all others, it was feeling helpless. And he felt really helpless here. Out of his depth. Scared. “Yeah maybe,” he agreed in a low murmur, licking his lips. His anxiety about it all -- and the werewolf thing, something else that would be controlling him -- rose all over again. “Let’s put bells on the door though, just in case.”
"Sure." Rylee could just hunt through some of her mom's Christmas things in the basement and find some bells. Or they could just buy some at a pet store, she was sure. People put bells on their cat collars or whatever, didn't they? Rylee reached over to rub his arm gently. "We'll make it work," she added, sounding a bit more confident now. "Bells, cat collars, prosthetic leg hide and seek... whatever we have to do." And maybe he wouldn't sleepwalk again. Maybe that was a one time thing. Rylee still felt like she ought to try and keep some optimism and rational thought, otherwise both of them would be freaking out. All they could do was hope Carson ended up with some answers once he talked to the others face to face.