through the fog (throughthefog) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-06-03 09:09:00 |
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Entry tags: | #october 2017, charlie, charlie x roxy, roxy |
Who: Charlie and Roxy
When: Thursday, Oct 26, afternoon
Where: Joyland Coffee
Status: Complete
Roxy had been surprised to get a text from Charlie Harris. She’d all but forgotten about giving the woman her number, but she found herself really glad that Charlie reached out. She’d been feeling kind of lost -- terribly sad about Amelia but unable to pour herself into work or anything to make up for it. Caden was constantly in a foul mood. Which was understandable, but it made Roxy’s life extra hard. She’d found her thoughts drifting over and over again to Spence, and how his hand had felt over hers, and no matter how hard she tried to forget it, it kept coming back. It made her feel incredibly guilty. Her semi-niece was missing and possibly dead, which hurt her heart in ways she couldn’t describe. And then there was what had happened to Mila during the searching, which was ... disturbing. Scary. Everything felt so dark.
But coffee with a nice woman could be a good break, so Roxy agreed to meet Charlie for a cup and a chat. She desperately needed to get out of the house and do something somewhat normal and not draining. She put on some fresh clothes and even slapped on some light makeup so she didn’t look so much like death warmed over. Since she didn’t have anything to do with herself, Roxy showed up early and grabbed them a table once she had her steaming mug of mocha. She fiddled idly with her phone, glancing up at the door every couple of minutes.
Charlie knew she couldn't hover around Gavin every minute of the day for the obvious reasons, but she knew - or at least hoped - that his family was doing everything they could to be there for him. After leaving the Lucas house the night before, Charlie had sent a text to Roxy, realizing that the woman might need a bit of a break herself, and it had been awhile since they had a proper chat other than the occasional greeting in church. So after school, Charlie packed up her things and drove to Joyland to meet her. Again, she hoped she wasn't overstepping any boundaries, but Charlie had to assume that if Roxy didn't want to chat, she would have said so.
After parking, Charlie walked inside and smiled softly as she spotted Roxy already there and at a table. She headed over to greet the woman quickly. "Hey there. I'm sorry if I kept you waiting. It took me a bit longer to get away from school than usual."
Roxy saw Charlie come in and had a faint smile to answer with. It wasn’t really a period in her life that warranted a ton of bright smiling. In any of their lives, really. “Nah, don’t worry about it,” Roxy assured her. “I got here kinda early, just ... not much to do.” She shrugged, then motioned for Charlie to go back to the counter. “Grab you a coffee,” she encouraged with another small smile. Charlie looked good, pretty. Roxy hadn’t heard anything more about how she and Gavin were getting on, but she hoped it was well. He needed somebody, and he was so hard to reach, even before this awful thing had happened.
Charlie smiled softly and nodded before turning back to the counter to order a coffee. She went for simple, a dark roast with cream and sugar, before returning to the table with Roxy. Charlie sat down, placing her purse strap on the back of her chair. "How are you doing?" Charlie asked, although she knew the answer. How could anyone be doing in this kind of situation? But it felt right to ask, to see if Roxy wanted to talk about it, or if there was anything else she, or Gavin's brother, may need.
It would have been such a nice, casual question if everything hadn’t been collapsing. Most people had been asking how things were going instead of how she was, wanting to know if there was any news. Roxy gave Charlie a faintly grateful smile. “As well as can be expected, I guess,” she answered, idly rubbing her thumb against the curve of her mug. “Just ... worried to death. Trying to stay positive. The bar’s been closed, so I’m kind of just trying to stay busy too.” There were other things, of course, but those weren’t things to just blurt out to someone she hardly knew, even if she wanted so badly to talk about them.
That was the answer Charlie had expected. There wasn't much to say in these kind of situations, and not many people wanted to talk about the reality of things. But she hadn't been lying to Gavin when she said he needed to hold onto some hope. "I suppose that's all you can really do," Charlie said sympathetically. "This can't be easy for any of you. I spent some time with Gavin last night, but I don't know how much it helped." At least they had food. If Gavin and Jasper remembered the casseroles were in the freezer... and how to heat them up.
Roxy looked vaguely surprised to hear that before her expression shifted into kind of pleased and grateful. “I’m sure it did,” she told Charlie. “He needs all the friendly faces he can get around him.” She paused and nibbled on the corner of her bottom lip. “How did he seem to you?” It felt weird asking, like she ought to know better than Charlie, being sort of part of the family, but it wasn’t like she was spending lots of one-on-one time with Gavin or anything. They weren’t close. He’d just looked devastated and lost every time she saw him. The Lucas men were shit at processing their emotions under the best of circumstances, and these circumstances would do a number on anybody’s head.
"Lost," Charlie admitted. "Carrying a lot of guilt, it seems. I can't imagine what he's going through. Or any of you. I had wanted to stay longer, but Jasper came home and it felt like the two of them needed to talk." Whether or not they had was a different story, and probably none of her business. "I keep hoping for good news. How is Caden?" She didn't know much about Gavin's brother, though she remembered him from school. But that was about it, in all honesty. And Charlie knew this had to be affecting everyone on some level. It was affecting her, and Charlie had never even met the girl. It was too depressing to think that she might never.
Lost and carrying a lot of guilt sounded like Gavin in general to Roxy, she could only imagine how heavy his burden was now. It made her wish it was easier to help him carry it. She nodded a bit at what Charlie said, then her expression turned slightly grim. “He’s ... angry,” she settled on. “Upset, like all of us, but that always comes out of Caden as anger.” That applied to pretty much any emotion except lust, and sometimes even then. Roxy gazed down at her drink for a moment as she idly rubbed her thumb against the mug. Then she wiped at one eye and glanced up again. “I keep ... imagining all the awful things that can happen to little girls, you know?” she murmured. “Thinking about that girl who like, got held in a backyard for years and years by some sicko. Everything’s a waking nightmare.”
Charlie nodded sympathetically. "It has to be torture," she murmured. "I wish there was something I could do. I told Gavin to hold onto some hope, because if there isn't a body... there's still a chance, you know? But I felt like a phony." She sighed. "My sister... she went missing, but they found her fairly quickly, and... it wasn't a happy ending. Our family was never the same after that. We've healed as much as we can, over time, but some wounds stay raw. And I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I know everyone deals with these things in their own way, but if there's anything I can do for you, or the rest of the family, I really hope you'll tell me. I feel rather helpless, and I'm not even sure it's my place... but I can't just sit around, you know?"
Roxy nodded at the first part -- if there wasn’t a body, there was still hope she was alive. She just wasn’t sure if that would be the preferable option, given some of the possibilities. Roxy hated to think that way, but there were some things worse than death, especially for a nine year old girl. If Amelia was in heaven, she was lucky. Roxy’s expression was full of sympathy for the rest of it. She had vaguely remembered that Charlie had lost her sister in some horrible way, but the details had been fuzzy and not in the forefront of her mind when all this started. She couldn’t help but reach over to take the other woman’s hand and give it a squeeze. “I really appreciate it, and I know the family does too, even if they can’t think about it much right now,” she assured her. “Just visiting Gavin was helpful, I’m sure. They’re not ... they’re really not a loving family, so any show of support is gonna mean a lot. Making sure him and Jasper have easy stuff to eat and that they know people are there to help is great, thank you. Other than that ... just pray for us, please. If I think of anything else, I’ll call you.”
"Of course," Charlie said, squeezing Roxy's hand in return. In Charlie's mind, they were a loving family, they were just terrible at showing it and she was sure that was what Roxy meant. Although she wondered if that would change, if maybe they would realize life was too short to hold back. "And if there's anything you need... help, or food....that's essentially all I'm good at at the moment," Charlie added with a wry smile. "Even if you need some company at church, just let me know." She knew sometimes family members could get lost in the shuffle, trying to help everyone else but themselves, and it could weigh on them. Charlie was willing to be there, even if Roxy just needed an ear to listen, somewhat removed from the situation itself.
Roxy gave her another of those grateful-sad smiles. She didn’t feel completely unsupported, but she knew she wasn’t exactly a priority right now. That was okay. Most of the time. “Thanks, hon. Company at church would be great,” she said. “Maybe you can help me convince Gavin to go, too. I think he needs it.” Praying and lighting candles for Amelia might make him feel at least a tiny bit better. Roxy had heard murmurs that the congregation was taking up collections for them too. She knew if the Lucases were even a tiny bit more friendly with the people in town, they would have ended up with dozens of old ladies knocking on every door with casseroles and comforting words. She sighed and let go of Charlie to pick up her mug and take a sip. “I just hope we get some answers eventually,” she murmured.
"I hope so too," Charlie said. She knew Gavin hadn't been at church, and she couldn't blame him for it. "I can see if Gavin wants to go on Sunday, but... if he doesn't, maybe it wouldn't be a bad thing to ask Father Dean to visit him at home. Gavin might want the comfort but I don't know if he wants to be around the people. I think he prefers solitude even on a good day. But maybe you and his brother can convince him... Aaron? I don't know if it's really my right to, I don't know, suggest it. I almost felt like I was overstepping when I brought him food, and I don't want to upset him."
Roxy had upset Gavin enough times that the possibility didn’t bother her much, and she was inclined to think he would listen to Charlie before he listened to Aaron, but all of that was complicated family dynamics that were too hard to explain. Plus, things were delicate now, so she understood where Charlie was coming from. “That’s a good idea, a home visit might do him some good. I’ll look into it,” she said with a nod. She could go to Father Dean and talk to him while she had all this free time with the bar closed. “I’m sure he didn’t see you as overstepping though, just to ease your mind. Gavin’s just ... not used to that kind of kindness, and he’s awkward about taking help. I bet he appreciated it more than it seemed.”
There was relief that Roxy seemed open to the idea of Father Dean visiting Gavin. She would hate it if he lost his faith because of what was happening, and maybe he needed it now more than ever. It also pained her a little to hear Gavin wasn't used to kindness. but it also wasn't terribly surprising, given how he was raised. "I could see where he would feel awkward," Charlie admitted after stifling a sigh. "He's been difficult to figure out on a good day. I'm just doing my best and hoping that's enough. I'll try to get by and see him again this weekend. I'm not sure he's been doing much more than drinking."
Difficult to figure out was an understatement. When it came to Gavin and Caden, anyway. Kat was pretty straightforward, and Aaron was like a big dumb puppy most of the time. The oldest two though ... they had dark depths. Roxy knew where it came from, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with. She nodded a bit and sipped from her mug again. “You’re probably right,” she said. Drinking seemed to be how the Lucases coped with most things. “And seeing as how I’m sure he doesn’t expect jack shit from you? Your best is more than enough. I wish I could do more for him, but ... Caden gets weird about it. Even in times like these.” She shrugged. Not that they’d ever had times quite like these, but still. “Do you know what the school policy is for stuff like this? I keep thinking about Jasper falling too far behind to graduate ...”
Charlie knew Gavin didn't, and wouldn't, expect anything from her. She liked to think that by now he would know she would be there, but things had still been rather fresh between them and maybe a little uncertain. She had a feeling if the tables were turned, Gavin would have shown up at her house, with or without food and maybe a small part of her would have expected him to. Even now, after their talk Wednesday night, Charlie wondered what might have happened if he had come to find her after Joanna's death. There were those 'what ifs' again. She couldn't help but look a little confused when Roxy mentioned Caden getting weird about Roxy helping Gavin, but if he was as difficult as Gavin could be sometimes, it probably wasn't something to be surprised about. Still, family should be there for each other, right? "I think Jasper still falls under excused absences," Charlie said after a moment. "It's not like Gavin or his mom has called him in, but we all know what's going on, so they haven't been marking him as unexcused. This definitely falls under a family emergency. It is important for him not to fall too behind in his school work though. If he's not back in school on Monday, we may need to assign him a tutor to catch up. I think the problem will be convincing him come back to school."
Roxy wasn’t surprised to hear that neither Olivia nor Gavin had thought to call the school about Jasper. She couldn’t really blame them, but it was still an oversight that spoke to their parenting. Sure, Jasper was technically an adult now, but he was still in school, and just the fact that he hadn’t dropped out yet told her that he didn’t want to. This tragedy might change things, but Roxy hoped it didn’t. He needed to get out of the trap of this town if he could. “Yeah, that might take some doing,” she agreed with Charlie with a sigh. “I’ll do my best to encourage him, but that boy is hard to reach. Like father like son, I guess.” She offered a wan smile. She wasn’t even technically part of the family, Caden had seen to that, so Roxy knew her word didn’t carry much weight anyway.
Charlie nodded. She certainly held no sway over Jasper. To him, she was just a teacher, and she knew for a fact he didn't have a lot of respect for her. A lot of kids didn't. "I could always talk to Gavin about it," she mused. "Maybe he could encourage Jasper too. I don't know. But I'll do what I can to make sure he stays on task to graduate. Sometimes I feel like that's the only way these kids can get out of here other than joining the army. Pull decent enough grades to go to college out of state, or even just out of town. And I feel like he wants to graduate, just from the fact that he's started showing up to class."
Roxy wasn’t sure that Gavin would be encouraging anybody to do anything for a long time, if Amelia stayed missing. But maybe she was wrong. Maybe losing one child would wake him up a little to his other one. There was no way to tell but giving it time. “He’s not one to really talk about any aspirations or anything, but yeah. It would be nice for him to make it out of here.” Roxy hadn’t. She’d stayed put after graduation, and sometimes she regretted it. She just hadn’t seen much of a future for herself outside of Point Pleasant, but in the past year or so she’d caught herself daydreaming more than once about how her life might be different elsewhere. She couldn’t picture Jasper in college, but having his diploma would at least give him more opportunities than not. “Thank you though. I’m sure he’s not easy to deal with in class, but he needs people pulling for him.”
"He's not so bad," Charlie said with a small smile. Sure, Jasper wasn't the easiest teenager to deal with, but... Charlie was used to it. He, along with his classmates, were at that age where they seemed to think they knew better than most adults, that they were invincible. Charlie remembered that age well. "It's a bit easier to deal with 'problem' students when you're aware of what they're dealing with. And I know life hasn't been easy for Jasper, even before Amelia went missing. But... he seems to have some good people around him, so all anyone can really do is hope that he doesn't let this break him. I suppose the same could be said for Gavin. Right now it just feels like the worst kind of waiting game."
There had been a lot in the Lucas family to deal with even before Amelia went missing, that was definitely the truth. Out of everyone, Roxy had always felt the most sympathy for Gavin’s kids. Sure, she wanted some of her own, but she knew she would be a better mother than Olivia ever was, so they would have a fighting chance. Was that even something she still wanted though? Roxy wasn’t sure. It was hard to be sure of anything anymore. She nodded at what Charlie said and gave a soft sigh. It was a nightmare waiting game, and it was hard to know how to handle it. A wan smile crossed her face. “I haven’t even asked how you’re doing, I’m sorry,” she said. “This is all just so ... consuming. How is everything for you?”
Charlie shook her head after she sipped her coffee, waving her hand dismissively. "Don't even worry about that. I'm doing fine. Concerned about Gavin and his daughter, mostly. I almost feel guilty that the rest of my life is fairly normal. Work is work, you know?" She set her cup back down softly on the table. "I know the bar has been closed this week. Are you and Caden doing okay? It can't be easy, not working, though I understand why..."
That was about the response that Roxy had expected from her. Charlie seemed like a really sweet, compassionate person, and Roxy was glad that she’d wandered into their lives. The timing seemed almost like divine intervention to her, because God knew that Gavin needed someone soft and sweet to help him through this. Even if it was just being there and bringing him food. At Charlie’s question, Roxy gave a wan smile and a shrug. “We’ll be okay. It’s stressful, and when Caden gets stressed he gets testy, but ... we’ll make it. I’m not sure when we’re going to re-open. Caden and Aaron can run it alone if they have to, but we’ll just have to see, I guess. All of us just want her home safe. But it’s hard not to feel completely useless at this point.”
Everyone had their own way of coping, Charlie supposed. And if Amelia was never found, the entire family had a long road ahead of them. One that would seem never-ending. It was difficult to think about. "I completely understand," Charlie murmured. "I know it's not much but if you ever need to vent, or just want to take a break, feel free to give me a call. Even if it's just for coffee." She gave Roxy a small smile, lifting her cup slightly. There wasn't much more Charlie could do, other than offer her company and cook a lot of food. But she supposed every little bit helped, at least until the family received some sort of closure.