Gavin Lucas (viciouscircle) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-06-03 05:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | #october 2017, caden, caden x gavin, gavin |
Who: Caden and Gavin
When: Late morning, Saturday, October 28th
Where: The bar
Status: Complete
Even though it felt a little soon, Caden didn’t think there was really a ‘right time’ to reopen the bar after Amelia’s disappearance. It had been a week now, and despite how shitty it made him feel in his gut, he didn’t think the girl was coming home. At least not alive. And Gavin had finally made the executive decision to reopen the bar so Caden drove over there that morning to meet him. They had a few things to do since the bar had been closed for so long, and Caden supposed now was as good a time as any to explain what had happened with Reagan Kelly. Or what he suspected, anyway.
He parked in the back, as usual, and saw Gavin was already there. Tossing his cigarette out onto the parking lot, Caden locked up his truck and headed inside through the back door. His hand was still bandaged, and the pain had lessened, though he was still taking his pain meds. Caden discarded his jacket and found Gavin out front behind the bar. “Aaron coming in?” Caden asked, in lieu of a hello. Gavin looked like shit, understandably, and he was already imagining keeping his brother in the back for the day as not to chase away customers.
Gavin wasn't sure what he was doing at the bar. He felt disconnected and a bit like he was swimming outside of himself. The last couple of days were a haze thanks to the random coping mechanisms he'd been experimenting with, pills, booze, weed. Today he'd had a little mix of everything and he felt better when it came to the grief over Amelia but physically he felt a bit like he was toast. He was a bit dizzy, couldn't concentrate and everything felt just a little muted. Some small part of him said he had to open the bar because he still had shit to take care of and it wouldn't do if Amelia came home and he'd fucked up her future. At worst he'd need to afford to keep looking for her - or burying her.
He was slow to react when Caden came in, looking at him blankly as he took in the obvious damage to his hand and face. "I don't know," he muttered and somewhere in the thicket of blurry thoughts he knew he should be concerned by the state of his brother but he just couldn't find it in himself to give a shit about anything. "What's that?" he added, nodding vaguely at Caden's bandages.
Caden started looking around for what he needed to do to help, but spared a glance at his hand. "This?" he asked before shrugging. "Mutilation, I guess. What's that?" Caden gestured toward Gavin's face. "You look stoned out of your mind." It could just be lack of sleep and worry, which would probably age just about anyone twenty years or so, but Gavin looked like death warmed over and Caden wasn't entirely sure his brother should even be out in public today.
"Maybe I am," Gavin said with a little huff. "What happened?" He nodded at Caden's hand again. A part of him didn't want to know, his brain sluggishly suggesting Caden had been in a fight which wasn't new and he didn't have the energy to worry about that as well. 'Mutilated' didn't sound good and the shape of the bandages definitely suggested something was very wrong with Caden's hand. That was some mafia shit, his brain helpfully supplied and if they'd had problems with their illegal dealings, Gavin would have heard of it by now.
There was no way Caden was going to let Gavin work the bar if he was stoned. He didn't care if Gavin stayed in the back, where his brother preferred, but Gavin didn't need to be around people today. Or any other day, really, but especially today. Caden wasn't entirely sure he wanted to tell Gavin about his theory right now, with Gavin's state of mind, but he had no idea when there would be a good time. "You remember when we went to see Reagan Kelly?" Caden asked, leaning against the counter. "She mentioned backlash... the universe punishing us for what we asked for, basically. Remember that?"
"Hard to forget," Gavin muttered and glanced down at Caden's fingers. So that was his backlash; a maimed hand. That did seem more appropriate than a missing daughter, more what he'd been expecting which just told him Amelia's disappearance couldn't be the backlash, it was too big. "Guess you paid up." It was hard to care, even if he wasn't stoned. There was too much pain going on to add more to it but he supposed he felt sympathy for Caden somewhere far down below all the other noise.
"Yeah, I guess I did," Caden said, trying to keep the sarcasm from seeping into his tone. "Except this happened because I was trying to help you. It hasn't occurred to you that maybe Amelia is gone because of what we did to Aaron? I went to see Reagan Kelly and she didn't deny it. Eye for an eye, right? I might have paid up, but so did you." Gavin was probably too out of his mind to even care, but he should. Caden felt like there had to be a way to find out what happened to Amelia.
It had occurred to Gavin and he'd dismissed the idea for several reasons; he did not want to go to war with the witches who had kept him and his safe all these years, if Amelia was gone because of what he and Caden had done it meant it was their fault, and it seemed too damn cruel of a backlash to involve his child instead of punishing him. He couldn't live with this being his fault so he couldn't fault Reagan Kelly. "Caden," he muttered, this information slowly seeping in and making his blood run a little colder. "What the fuck did you do?"
"I told her to fix it," Caden said, annoyance slipping into his expression and tone. Christ, he should have waited to have this conversation until Gavin was sober and clear headed. If that would ever happen again."If she can do all the shit she can do, she should be able to get Amelia back from... wherever the fuck she went. It's too much to think this was a goddamn coincidence. Only her psychopath boyfriend showed up." Caden waved his mangled hand. "And now I can't flip the double bird anymore."
There was no scenario where Gavin could imagine Caden doing this politely and yet here he was, alive. Gavin thought he was about to start crying but instead he felt amusement tugging on the corners of his lips until he was actually laughing, shaking his head. "You idiot," he chuckled, grabbing Caden by the back of the head to pull him in close in some sort of grateful not-quite-hug. "She's gone," he said quietly against his ear. "Don't go kill yourself too."
For the first time since Amelia's disappearance, Caden felt his throat close up and he shook his head lightly against Gavin's grip. "She can't be gone, Gav. We've been through too much shit. It's too fucking much." How much did the universe hate their goddamn family anyway? When would they ever catch a break? Why hadn't they ditched out on this place years ago? Christ.
Gavin did not often see Caden get emotional in any capacity besides anger but he could hear that tightness in his voice and it broke his damn heart. He wrapped his other arm around him and pulled him in as close as his damaged muscle would let him. "She's either dead or she'll show up in a year or two, like those kids back in the day. It ain't backlash, Caden. It can't be." Sure it was possible, but he couldn't take it if it was.
It sounded like backlash to him, and Caden wanted to tell Gavin how naive he was being, that if he really gave it some thought, he would see how this was their fault. Aaron lost his kid, so Gavin had to lose one of his too. And Caden lost his damn fingers. But... he realized that Gavin was probably in denial, because if he accepted Amelia's disappearance was his fault, Caden was pretty sure Gavin wouldn't be able to live with himself. "She'll show back up," he said after clearing his throat. "Like those kids. She'll be fine. Probably won't even... remember what happened."
Gavin wondered fuzzily if he had to clean up a mess with the witches now. If they could keep monsters at bay with little bags he didn't want to know what they could do to a human. He patted Caden's back and maybe dealing with his proud and stubborn brother was helping him hold it together somewhat; or maybe he was just out of tears after this week. "How bad is it?" he muttered as he let him go, leaning back enough to take Caden's hand. He remembered back when Caden had broken bones in his hand but this was a whole other level. "We at war, Caden?"
"Nah, I don't think so. Pretty sure whats-his-name got it out of his system when he snapped off my fingers," Caden said dryly. He still didn't think things were even, especially if Reagan was the reason Amelia was gone, but he didn't want to say that to Gavin. "I'm starting to think we should've never gone to see her. Let Aaron deal with his own fuck ups. None of this is worth it, if you ask me." Hindsight was 20/20 and now there was nothing they could do about it.
Gavin had felt like that since the moment Reagan started her spell, like they shouldn't have gone to see her at all. The only way to deal with the guilt was to not think about it and he was trying. He let go of Caden's hand to grip his shoulder instead. "Did you hurt the witch?" he asked quietly because Caden might think it was over while the witches did not. He was in no state to go fix shit with them but he would if he had to. Sending Caden to apologize was only going to escalate things, hell maybe going there himself was too.
Caden nearly asked which witch Gavin was talking about, but he had to assume he meant Reagan Kelly. Shrugging, Caden glanced down at his hand. "I might have hurt her. I don't know. Not as bad as they hurt me." Which somehow justified what he had done, at least in his head it did. "I don't think you need to worry about it, Gavin. I'm not going back over there, and I doubt they'll be tryin' anything else with me. It's done." And Amelia was still gone, so it had accomplished nothing.
Gavin wasn't so sure but he wasn't going to put ideas in Caden's head about going back there and trying to fix things. "It's done," he said in a near whisper, then clutched the back of Caden's head again. He'd gone there for Amelia, it had been stupid but Gavin couldn't be angry about it, his worry about everything mingled with faint gratitude. Caden didn't often show that he gave a shit so when he did it weighed a lot. "It wasn't our fault," he told him, butting his head gently against his. "It had nothing to do with that and we won't talk about it ever again." God he needed a cigarette, maybe more weed, a lot more alcohol, some pills. He didn't want to be there anymore, it felt like too much but he was glad he'd come in now, if only for this.
Caden wasn't sure he believed that. The way everything played out, it just felt like more than a simple coincidence in the timing. But, even if backlash was the reason for Amelia's disappearance, if the witch could have found Amelia, wouldn't she have said so? Surely the bitch would have done it for more money. But Gavin seemed dead set on denying the two things were related, and he wasn't clear headed enough to be reasoned with. So Caden gave a small nod. They wouldn't talk about it again. He was stupidly grateful that he hadn't told Roxy the truth. This was between he and Gavin and it would stay there until they were both six feet under. "Go home," Caden murmured to Gavin. "Get some sleep. I can handle this. I'll call Aaron in to help out."
Gavin patted the back of Caden's head before he let go and stepped back. He considered staying but he was probably better off sleeping, like Caden said and since the offer was on the table he wasn't about to turn it down. "Call me if there's trouble," he muttered. "We need this place open. Miles can-" he trailed off, remembering Miles was already there, working the bar. Yeah, he needed to go home, he was useless today. He gestured vaguely toward the bar and shook his head. "You got this, Caden."
"There'll be no trouble," Caden said, already pulling his phone out to send a text to Aaron, asking him to come in. He would've asked him to bring Mila, but Caden still wasn't sure if she had quit or not. Also their fault. He thought about trying to make amends, but that was Gavin's job, given he was the one who ran Mila off. But that wasn't high on the priority list right now. "I'll send you a text later, when we close," he said, glancing at Gavin. "Let you know it went. Be careful driving home, yeah? I mean that."
"Okay, Caden," Gavin muttered and patted his arm as he shuffled past him. He considered stopping by Reagan Kelly's place but he was just sober enough to realize he was too fucked up to be bargaining with a witch. "I'll be at home," he sighed and if he couldn't sleep he'd probably come back to the bar. Back at his house he kept hoping Amelia would come walking through the door - or true to her personality, come running through the door, laughing at the dogs and pouncing on Gavin for a hug. It hurt to think about so being home wasn't his favorite place right now.
Caden grunted a response and slipped his phone into his back pocket again. Hopefully Aaron would come in and shit would run smoothly. They had been closed far too long and they needed the revenue coming back in. It sort of felt like getting their lives back on track somehow, even though everything felt different. But it was at least a baby step in the right direction, with or without Gavin there.