Who: Jules and Sebastian When: Wednesday, October 25th, Afternoon Where: Study Hall Status: Complete
Jules was having a difficult time concentrating in class this week. Between worry over Jasper and his sister, and her self-imposed insomnia, she felt like a zombie walking the halls. Honestly, school felt kind of pointless at the moment. How was she supposed to care about Spanish verbs when there was so much other stuff going on? Stuff that was so much more important. Jules gave some thought to ditching the rest of the week, but she wasn’t really sure what that would accomplish other than getting into trouble with her mom. People would start asking her where she was and all that, and Jules didn’t really feel like talking to anyone, which was definitely new and totally unlike her.
Despite all the bad stuff happening around her, Jules decided to actually try and get her homework done in study hall. Generally she sat around and played on her phone, or fixed any chipped nail polish, but she didn’t want to drag a bunch of homework home with her later, so she found a table and sat, checking her phone before anything else just to see if Jasper had sent her any news on his sister. With that done, she pulled out her history homework and set it in front of her, but stared at the paper without really seeing it. She was fucking tired and she started to resent the fact that the school didn’t have a nap room somewhere.
Like everyone else, Sebastian had heard about the Lucas girl going missing. It was sad and it didn’t seem to affect him, until he’d realized it was Jasper’s sister. And even though that still didn’t touch him, he knew it would touch Jules and he considered her a friend. He’d left her alone the first half of the week, needing to get caught up on homework himself, but by Wednesday it felt weird to sit in study hall and not talk to her. Sure, he could go find a table off by himself and poke around on his phone, but she looked like she wasn’t getting all that much work done today, so he plopped his backpack down on the table beside her. “Hey,” he said as he took a seat. “How’s it going?”
Jules blinked in surprise when Sebastian sat down and she stared at him for a couple of seconds before it seemed to register that he was really there. "Hey," she greeted, setting her pencil down on her homework since she really wasn't doing anything with it at the moment. "It's going, I guess. The day sort of feels like a blur, to be honest." Jules generally wasn't one to talk about important stuff with most people, but Sebastian was becoming a better friend to her than he'd ever been a boyfriend, so she felt a little more comfortable being honest with him. To an extent. "They still haven't found Jasper's sister, so... I don't really know what to do." Jules didn't expect Sebastian to have any answers, but it wasn't like anyone else would really get where she was coming from.
Sebastian thought about it for a minute, how he’d felt when Hunter was dealing with the demon possession. How he’d tried to handle it. He’d always felt like he should do more, but there was only so much he could do. “You… be there for him,” he said, looking over at her. “If he wants to talk. Even if he doesn’t want to talk. Sometimes just being there is enough. If he wants to search, you search. If he wants to binge on beer or cigarettes or netflix, you stay with him.” Sebastian stopped and gave her a little smile, not all that sure if he was helping or not, but wanting to, if he could. “Or, you know, you do you. Take a nap if you need to.”
She had been texting Jasper on and off since Sunday, and he knew she was there if he needed her. A part of her felt like she shouldn't be doing much of anything else, including trying to figure out what the creepy dreams and sleepwalking meant, while Jasper's sister was missing, but she didn't really know what else to do, and Jules didn't want it to happen again. Jules gave Sebastian a small smile. "Thanks. I'm trying. It just sucks to feel so totally useless. I don't know what he'll do if they don't find her." It was such a horrible thought that Jules didn't really want to think about it too much. And she didn't want to tell Sebastian that she was too scared to take a nap. That was likely to sound a bit crazy and Jules couldn't explain it to him. "What about you, though? What've you been up to?"
“I know,” Sebastian said softly, completely relating to that feeling of uselessness in a crisis. It seriously sucked, and this was worse because the likelihood of things getting better was rather low. He didn’t want to say it, but they probably wouldn’t find her. Even if they did, she might not be alive. He swallowed hard, hating that train of thought for anyone. “Um… Nothing you can gossip about,” he said with a little smile and, had they not just been talking about missing kids, he might have blushed. But it was too fast a transition for his mind to really go there. “My parents were out of town this last weekend. Both of them.”
Oh, Jules could gossip about pretty much everything, but if it was something personal that Sebastian didn't want anyone to overhear, she understood what he meant. She was becoming a lot more choosy about what she told people in school. If it got to the wrong ears, everyone knew by the end of the day. "Your parents went out of town and you didn't have a party?" Jules asked, her brow raised curiously as a small smile played at her lips. "What's up with that, Bash?" Jules was always throwing parties when her parents weren't around. What else was there to do around here?
“I did, but it was really small. Like, there were six of us,” Sebastian said with a little laugh. He wasn’t even sure that was enough people to call it a party. “I thought about inviting you, but I didn’t know how you’d get along with the others, and I really didn’t know about Jasper, so… Maybe next time.” If his parents ever left town again. It felt like it only happened once in a blue moon. And even then, he wasn’t sure he wanted to really throw a party if he couldn’t be with Hunter at it. “When did you say you and Jasper started dating? Or… When did you start seeing him?” He asked curiously.
A month ago Jules might have been pouty that she hadn't been invited to Sebastian's party, even a teeny tiny one - was six people enough for it to even be considered a party? - but it didn't bother her so much now, given how much time she was spending with Jasper. Besides, Sebastian had probably been smart about it. Jules was still pretty sure Jasper wasn't fond of her friends, and vice versa. It was one thing to get lost in a large party, but smaller get togethers changed the dynamic for sure. Sebastian's question about Jasper had Jules hesitating before she started tapping her pencil against her homework. "Um... well, we started hanging out in June," she admitted. "But, like, I can't really say we started dating until after Homecoming. Like, officially. Why?"
“June,” Sebastian sighed, his fingers tapping out the months as he counted them up till Homecoming. Four months. Even if they weren’t officially dating, that was a long time to keep a secret. He wondered if he would have noticed, if they’d been closer then, but that was a time when they’d been farther apart than ever. “Just… I don’t know how you did it. Especially if no one else knew. This is so fucking hard, Jules.” He’d been fine keeping his sexuality a secret while he was single. There was no reason for anyone to know when he wasn’t dating someone. But now that he was, the secret was suffocating.
"Well, to be fair, we weren't together every day over the summer," Jules pointed out. "It was only a few times a week, and mostly at night too, and we'd drive somewhere private to hook up. We weren't dating or anything then. I guess once we started to actually like each other, it felt different. We still snuck around, but I was sort of getting to the point where I didn't want to do that anymore. I had to, like, decide what was more important to me, how I felt about Jasper or my reputation." Not that her reputation had taken a super hard hit or anything. There was gossip and some curious questions about what she was 'thinking' dating Jasper Lucas, but nothing Jules couldn't handle. Jules sucked on her lower lip for a brief moment. "If my mom knows, she hasn't said anything. That's really the only thing I'm dreading." Jules didn't want to come out and say that Sebastian should care more about how he felt than how everyone else felt, but it was sort of implied in everything else she'd said.
“You gotta let me know where you were parking,” Sebastian muttered softly. He wasn’t sure they would try that again, not when the stakes were so high, but he also wasn’t sure when they’d have a chance to be alone again. Maybe Friday, since there was no school. “I hear what you’re saying. I’m trying to get there, ‘cause…it’s not my reputation I’m worried about. I mean, I am, definitely, but it’s not the thing holding me back.” He knew she could relate, at least on some level. It was the same reason she hadn’t told her mother about her and Jasper. “She doesn’t know yet. Or, if she knows, she’s pretending she doesn’t. She was sending my mom Homecoming pictures yesterday. My mom was asking about us getting back together.”
Jules just figured she and Jasper had gotten lucky over the summer, not getting caught when they were parked somewhere to have sex. It had been exciting too, just knowing they could get caught. As much as she enjoyed being able to use her bed, or his, she still liked it when they found themselves fucking somewhere unconventional. Not that she needed to be thinking about that right now, for so many reasons. Jules blinked in surprise at the revelation that her mom had sent Sebastian's mom their pictures. It probably wasn't that surprising, since the two women were friends, but still. Jules had the horrible feeling that Margaret did know about Jasper, but was just keeping mum on it until the right time. "Sorry," Jules said with a slightly apologetic look. "If she knows about Jasper, she's recruiting your mom to get us back together. She's pretty good at manipulating my life behind the scenes." She tried to sound amused by it, but failed. "Have you thought anymore about telling your parents the truth...?"
“It’s okay. I don’t think she’s the only one,” Sebastian said, then gave her a little smile. “I liked dating you. But I like this better.” Being honest with her changed things. It felt like they could actually talk about things that mattered. He’d stopped leading her on and she’d stopped trying to get in his pants. And they both found someone else. It was really a win-win, even if their parents didn’t see it that way. “I think about it all the time,” he said, gaze dropping to the table, unfocused as he spoke. “Like...I can see my dad screaming at me and my mom crying. Or maybe he just gets up and leaves the room and we do this thing where we pretend we don’t exist. Or maybe he tells me what I disappointment I am.” Sebastian bit his lip, turning his eyes towards the ceiling. “Maybe I’m grounded. For a week. For a month. Till I leave for college. Maybe they take my car away. Or college. Or… Or maybe I’m not allowed to see Greg anymore because they’re paranoid. Maybe I’m on lockdown.” He stopped then, pretty sure if he kept talking that he’d start crying and there was no fucking way he would do that. Not here. Not now. Not to Jules. “I’m not really ready to face those possibilities. But I’m working on it.”
It was easy for Jules to tell Sebastian that he shouldn't care what his parents think, but she knew it was more complicated than that. It wasn't like she had gone to her mom to gush about who she was dating. She was pretty sure Jasper was the first boy she had ever said 'I love you' to and meant it, but she was too scared of her mom's reaction to actually tell her about him. A part of her didn't really care what Margaret thought and when she found out, she found out, and oh well. But Jules knew that wasn't as major as coming out as gay. But their parents were super dramatic and had high expectations, so the pressure and fear was very real. "I can't tell you what to do, or how to feel," Jules said with a small, somewhat sad smile. "I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. But... you shouldn't have to deny who you are, or hide how you feel about someone, because other people might not accept it. I know you've got a lot at stake, Bash, but if they're going to cry, they're going to cry. If you're grounded, you're grounded... days pass, right? And fuck your dad if he calls you a disappointment. He's the disappointing one if he'd let that change how he sees you." Jules paused and shook her head. "I'm getting all preachy now and I know it's easier said than done, but... I think our parents need to stop putting us on these unreachable pedestals."
Sebastian took a deep breath as he nodded, agreeing with pretty much everything she said, from not denying who he was to the pedestal that he was certain he was going to fall off any day now. Even if he wasn’t gay, the expectations they put on him were unbelievably high. It was a constant struggle to keep up and he knew at some point it would be too much. Every day more that he had to lie about who he was felt like a step closer to the ledge. “I know. I know I can’t do it forever. I don’t want to. I… I want to take Hunter to winter formal,” he whispered, a smile tugging at his lips despite the heavy conversation. “I can’t do that from inside the closet.” Just thinking about it made his nerves kick into high gear, but he kept telling himself that he wouldn’t be alone. Hunter would be there, and Greg, and everyone else that already knew and supported him.
Winter formal. Jules had forgotten all about it. It wasn't until December, but still. It wasn't that long ago that her only worry was trying to achieve all three crowns from the school dances this year. Right now that felt silly and superficial, which was a bit jarring, considering how much it meant to her. "I think you should," Jules said, biting back on the urge to tell him a lot could happen between now and December and maybe he and Hunter wouldn't even be together by then. It felt like a little bit of Jasper's views on relationships was starting to seep into her own feelings. It was too hard to predict the future, even when she knew she was wanted from the future. "But, maybe that gives you like, a personal deadline for coming out to your parents. Winter formal. No matter how they react, you still get Hunter, right?"
“Yeah,” Sebastian said, his smile getting harder and harder to contain. He knew it was a long way off, but it was really hard for him to imagine any reason why they might not be together still. If he let his imagination run wild, he’d take them all the way through graduation, maybe further. It might not be realistic, but it was what he wanted at the moment. And he couldn’t have it, not the way he wanted it, if he didn’t come out to his parents. “That gives me lots of time. Football season will be over. College applications will be in. And scholarship applications. I can plan.” He was sure there were things he was forgetting, but the more he could do to secure his future, the better he’d feel about putting it on the line.
Jules nodded, because it did give him time. Maybe not a ton, but enough. And even if his parents reacted badly to it, they would have to get over it eventually, right? Rip the Band Aid off and start to heal and all that. Jules supposed she could do the same with her mom and tell her about Jasper, but that was kind of totally different in a way. She didn't want to hear the things Margaret would say about him once she knew, or at least decided to tell Jules she knew. "I think that sounds like a plan," she said with a small smile. Jules twirled her pencil between her fingers thoughtfully. "Has Hunter told his dad about you? Or are you guys keeping it a secret from like, all adults?"
“Not yet, but I told him he could,” Sebastian said. The more he’d thought about it, the less worried he was about Hunter’s dad finding out. He had no reason to run off and tell Sebastian’s parents that their son was gay. He was an adult, and probably knew that it wasn’t his place, and could keep his mouth shut. But just because he was okay with it, didn’t mean Hunter was ready himself. “It’s more that he’s worried about his dad getting all weird. He’s never had a boyfriend before. And we’ve got a little more freedom with him not knowing, but… It’s his call. Do Jasper’s parents know about you?” He figured at this point they must, that it wasn’t a secret and she’d be around if she was trying to support him, but every couple was different.
Hunter's dad was the sheriff, and he seemed pretty chill the few times she had seen him around town. And Hunter was pretty cool, so his dad must not have been a total dick, right? She hoped not. Sebastian's parents would be enough of a handful and she knew that from experience dating Sebastian. "Just his dad, I think," Jules said. "I met him the other night, before Amelia went missing. I don't think Jasper and his mom get along at all, and given the way he'd talk about her, I'm not sure I even want to meet her. His dad seemed nice enough. Not much of a talker." And he had almost got them doing inappropriate things on the couch, which had kind of been funny at the time. "I don't know. Things are good, but they seemed so much easier like, a month ago. I kind of miss split ends being the worst thing I had to worry about. It sounds totally selfish though."
Sebastian nodded, following along. If Jasper didn’t get along with his mother, there was probably no reason to bring Jules into that equation. Not unless they were super serious and that seemed like something to address in the future, not right now. “A month ago?” he asked, raising a brow. “Like, before Homecoming? Were things not good before Amelia went missing?” He knew that might be a heavy question, but he thought she might not have mentioned it if she didn’t want to talk about it. They were both capable of glossing over things when they needed to or wanted to. “It’s not selfish to want things to be easy. You just have to decide if it’s worth it. Like you were telling me. It would be easier for me not to date at all, but Hunter’s worth it.”
Jules squinted thoughtfully before shaking her head. "No, no, things were good. I mean... things just felt normal then, you know?" She didn't want it to sound like things had started getting weird and stressful once she started officially dating Jasper, because that wasn't true at all. Right now she felt like Jasper was maybe the only thing that made her really happy. But a month ago was before the mirror freaked her out, and she started having weird dreams, and everything sort of felt like a clusterfuck at the moment. She managed a small smile for Sebastian. "Jasper's worth it. I know what people think, and what they're saying, but I don't care. I love him so that's like... screw everyone else, right?"
“You love him?” Sebastian asked with a smile. “Like, for real?” It seemed like a silly question, but some people threw the word around casually, while others held onto it until they were sure they meant it. Sebastian could never say he’d been in love himself, but sometimes… sometimes he thought he knew what it might feel like. But then he told himself that you couldn’t love someone you’d been dating for less than a month, so it must just be a lust-spiked super crush. Or something like that. “If you love him, nothing else matters. Everyone else can fuck off. They’ll get over it. Something more interesting will come up for them to pick on. Eventually who Jules Cooper is dating will be old news,” he teased lightly. “You deserve to be happy.”
Jules was a bit too tired and scatter-brained to really connect to the fact that she had told Sebastian she loved Jasper. It didn't feel like it should be a big deal, because it was true, but it still made her cheeks turn pink. Probably because the sentiment hadn't been reciprocated. Not verbally, anyway. But it didn't make any sense to backtrack, so she shrugged. "Yeah, for real. I don't even know when it freaking happened, it just did. Maybe once we started actually talking instead of just hooking up and fighting? I don't know. But yeah, no doubt something will happen to shift the gossip train down another track." Maybe Sebastian and Hunter's relationship, although she wasn't about to set that train in motion. It wasn't her place. "But thanks, Bash. You deserve to be happy too."
Though it happened to him all the freaking time, Sebastian wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Jules blush. That was as much an answer as anything else. “Yeah, I hear talking helps,” he smiled. He had a much better idea of how someone could get carried away with the physical part of a relationship now that he was in one where he wanted to be physical. But he and Hunter had always talked a lot too. They’d started with just talking and kept at it, especially since that was all they could do most of the time, late at night, over the phone. “I am happy,” he smiled. “I know people don’t know about it, and it’s not perfect, and there’s all kinds of things that could go wrong. But I’m really, freakishly happy.” Which was why it was so hard to take steps that would make things more difficult, even if they were better in the long run. “I’ll let you know though, before something changes. I’m probably gonna need you.”
"Nothing is ever perfect," Jules said simply. "Believe me. Even if it feels perfect, it's not. But if it makes you happy, then it should be enough." She was a little surprised when Sebastian told her he would need her, because she wasn't exactly sure where they landed on the friends scale, although things definitely felt a lot better now that they were talking again, both of them having moved on from their break up. Jules was well aware that she owed Sebastian for dumping her when he had. If he hadn't, she wouldn't have hooked up with Jasper at that party, and then who knew where she would be right now. "You know I'm totally here for you," she told him, reaching out to slip an arm around his neck to pull him close for a hug. "Anything you need, right? If someone fucks with you, they fuck with me too, and that's a big no no."
Maybe he was overstepping himself, but Jules was one of a few people he trusted with his secret and that made her feel even closer to him. It was possible that things would be just peachy when he came out, but he didn’t know for sure. As one of the leaders of their senior class, the homecoming queen, and his ex girlfriend, people would look to her to see how to react. Her support meant a lot, plus he really kind of liked this friend thing they had going. “Thanks,” he smiled, slipping an arm around her to hug her back. “I just don’t know how it’ll all come out yet. It’s good to have you on my side.”
"Of course," Jules murmured, smiling at him as she pulled back. "And who knows, maybe no one will care. It's not like Point Pleasant is stuck in like, the 1950s. People like you, Bash. I bet they'll be totally cool with everything." His parents were a different story, but there was a reason Sebastian got along with practically everyone. He was a nice guy and being gay didn't change that at all. Jules knew she was handling it a lot better than she might have if she didn't have a boyfriend, but it seems like Jasper had mellowed her some. It definitely wasn't a bad thing.
“I know. I mean, I hope so,” Sebastian said with a little smile. He was probably unreasonably worried about the people at school, but it was hard not to be when it felt like his reputation was on the line. But that might not be the case. People could be fine with it. They didn’t seem to have an issue with Hunter, which was probably a good sign. “So… think you’re going to Victoria’s party this weekend?” With everything going on, he wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was no, but then maybe she’d need a break.
Jules hoped so too, because if anyone gave Sebastian any crap over who he was, she would make it a point to ruin them. His question prompted a small sigh and Jules shrugged softly. "I don't know. It just depends on Jasper, and how he's feeling. I don't think he'll be in the mood to go, and I don't want to leave him alone if he needs me, you know?" And she honestly had no idea if she would even be in the mood for a party. She wanted to be with Jasper. It was hard enough not being with him every minute of the day with his sister gone, but she knew that was probably overkill, and he might want the solitude every now and then. "Are you going?"
“Yeah, makes sense,” Sebastian nodded. He remembered how Hunter had felt when the Ouija board demon was still a problem. They weren’t really dating at that time, but he knew he’d have wanted to do whatever Hunter wanted to do if that was still a problem now. Which was maybe weird, since they couldn’t even hang out at the party together. “I was planning on it. I have a costume and everything, so… probably.” It would be a good chance to hang out with Greg, have some guy time together.
It seemed like almost everyone would be flocking to Victoria's, which made sense. It wasn't like there were a lot of other options for Halloween parties in town. "Oh, what's your costume?" Jules asked, always curious to see what her friends chose for Halloween, even if she ended up not seeing them herself. She wondered if Hunter would go to the party, and if he and Sebastian would hang out or just avoid each other to try and deter gossip.
“I’m a pirate,” Sebastian grinned, way more excited about his costume than he felt he should be. He was a senior in high school and it felt like a kid thing, but it also kind of bit that theater bug that he’d never given into. “But like, Orlando Bloom pirate, not cartoon pirate. If that makes sense. I found leather pants, and a hat, and a sword.” It wasn’t a real sword, but there was still something fun about waving it around.
That was part of the fun of Halloween, being able to dress up again, even if it might feel kiddy like. One day out of the year made it more than okay if you asked Jules. "Oh, an Orlando bloom pirate would be hot," Jules said with a small grin. "I like it. I was going to be Carrie, complete with fake pig blood, but... we'll see. Even if I don't go at least I have a cute dress to wear for some other occasion. Take some pics though, so I can see in case I don't go." She was sure plenty of pictures would show up on Snapchat or Instagram.
“That was the goal,” Sebastian admitted, laughing softly. He’d liked the costume enough on it’s own, but Hunter’s reaction had really sold him on it. “Ah, damn, I’d have loved to ‘ve seen that,” he smiled. “You’d have made a really awesome Carrie.” It was a cool costume idea because it was a nice mix of creepy and sexy. He knew Jules would’ve wanted to be hot as well. “I’ll definitely take pictures. Send you some snaps. You know.” It was weird to think she wouldn’t be there. Jules was at every party, even Victoria’s.
"Yeah, I could go telepathically psychotic on people," Jules countered with a soft snicker. She knew it would be weird not to go, but Jasper was more important to her than a party. Which was such a strange thing, given how she'd felt about him when they first started hooking up. Feelings could be stupidly unpredictable. "But thanks," she said with a small smile. "And make sure to send me some of you and Hunter. I'm sure they'll be cute."
“If you think no one messes with you now, just imagine if you had that kind of power,” Sebastian grinned. He knew there were psychics in the world, but he was pretty sure they weren’t stupid enough to do anything like Carrie had. That’s how you got picked up for a government project, if you survived. “I will,” he smiled. “I’m not sure yet how to handle a party with him. I’ve discovered that I’m not at all subtle when I’ve been drinking.” And that was before they were dating. He had the feeling he would be so much worse now.
"Well, just limit the alcohol and you should be fine," Jules said. "But I get it, sort of? Like, at my after party people knew I was there with Jasper, but it was still a weird feeling because we had snuck around for so long. But at the same time, it was kind of amazing because we weren't sneaking around anymore." She knew it was different for Sebastian, since he had a different reason for keeping his relationship a secret. But hopefully he would see how much happier he would be once he was out. He and Hunter both. "Just try to have fun and not overthink things."
“I know it’ll feel weird, but I kinda can’t wait for that,” Sebastian admitted, running his hand through his hair. He’d gotten a taste of it when he’d had his friends over last weekend and it was a whole different level of good. Like he was finally able to be himself for the first time, ever. “I’ll try,” he smiled. He had a bad habit of overthinking things, but he was hoping this weekend would be fun. He’d figure out a way to hang out with Hunter. He’d just have to be creative.
Jules realized she had just spent most of study hall talking to Sebastian than actually studying. Which was totally fine by her, since she wasn’t really sure she would have been able to concentrate. And talking to Sebastian had been nicely distracting. She started putting her things back in her bag, since the bell would be ringing soon. “Where are you off to next?” They could walk together if it was in the same general vicinity.
“History,” Sebastian answered, pulling his book back up onto his shoulder. He hadn’t even cracked it open, which meant he’d have more to do tonight, after practice and after he went by Reagan’s for his lesson. If he’d realized how little time he had, he might’ve made an effort to get some homework done, but it had been nice to catch up with Jules. “What about you?”
"Math," Jules said with a wrinkle of her nose. "Want to walk with me?" They would split up before getting to their classes, but they would at least be walking in the same general direction. Jules nudged Sebastian a bit playfully. "Give everyone something else to whisper about." It seemed to happen anytime Jules was seen with an ex. Oh well, at least people care enough to talk about her. It's when they stopped that she ought to worry, right?"
“Sure,” Sebastian smiled, then laughed a little, nudging her back. “I don’t mind if you don’t,” he grinned. If he really wanted to stir up the gossip, he’d put his arm around her, but he didn’t want to do that to Jasper and Hunter. It was one thing for people to talk based upon their own imaginations, but he didn’t want to do something that might hurt those they cared about. They both had something good going on. Why risk it?