Who: Jules and Jasper When: Sunday, Oct 22, night Where: Jules’s house Status: Complete
Jasper was beyond exhausted. From the moment his dad had called him to wake him up that morning, he’d been running on adrenaline and fear, and he hadn’t crashed yet. They’d searched everywhere they could think to look for Amelia, they’d been assured that the police force had every available person out looking, there had been search parties formed and they’d combed the woods for hours ... there was just no sign of her. It was maddening and terrifying, and Jasper couldn’t stop thinking about how someone had to have taken her. Plucked from the front fucking lawn like a stolen newspaper.
He’d driven around until he’d run out of gas, then filled up again and driven around some more. He kept begging whatever forces were in the universe to catch a glimpse of her, to get a phone call, a tip, some kind of hint. The family didn’t have a good printer, but the cops were supposed to be making signs with the picture that Olivia had given them. Jasper had a photo he was carrying around with him, stopping into business after business to ask if anybody had seen her. At least until they all started to shut down.
He felt shaky and half-crazy, his heart not seeming able to slow down to a reasonable speed. He was so tired but he couldn’t rest, not while she was out there somewhere. Jasper found himself driving to Overlook, toward Jules’s house. He hadn’t talked to her all day, all of his focus on searching for Amelia, and the idea that she might not even know what was happening was bizarre and surreal. Jasper’s whole world had been rocked, everybody around him had to have felt it too, right? He parked on the street in front of the large house and brought his phone out, not quite wanting to go to the door, even if he didn’t care at all about her parents right then. u up?
Jules hadn't heard about Jasper's sister going missing, having been in Portland with her mom for most of the day. Margaret tended to be a hell of a lot more nosy when she and Jules were spending time alone, and she hadn't wanted to risk her mom sneaking a glance at her phone if she had taken it out to text Jasper. Her mother was always weird about phone usage when they were supposed to be bonding, so her phone had stayed in her bag for most of the day until they were finally driving back to Point Pleasant. She didn't give it much thought that the texts she did have were just from friends about frivolous stuff. Jules assumed Jasper was working, or doing family things like she was, but she had planned to text him later that night when she was finally finished with 'family fun time'. Thankfully her mom and Edward wandered out back for a glass of wine after dinner and Jules was able to relax on her own for awhile.
She was in her bathroom and had just started wiping off her makeup when her phone buzzed on the sink beside her. She smiled as soon as she saw it was Jasper and Jules picked up her phone to thumb in a quick reply. yup. what are u doing?
It was such a casual answer, a reply he would’ve gotten on any other day. Jasper just sat and stared at it for a moment, wishing desperately and irrationally that he could reply equally as casually. Like acting normal could make this not the Worst Day of his life. He started to thumb in several different replies to let her know what was going on, but decided that he just needed to see her. i’m outside. need to talk to u. come out? or me in? Jasper hit send, assuming that Jules would probably think something was wrong between them, but he didn’t have the eloquence to try and tell her otherwise. Not in a text. He rested his phone on his leg and looked up at the house, not even sure what he was going to say to her anyway. He just felt shaky and shellshocked and weird and he needed Jules’s presence.
Ordinarily Jules would have been ecstatic that Jasper was outside, but it seemed to be in her nature to read a text and hear it in a certain tone, or read it a certain way. And he hadn't said he wanted to see her, only that he wanted to talk. And he hadn't texted her earlier to let her know he was coming by or anything. A sick feeling seemed to settle in the pit of Jules's stomach and she tied her hair up into a ponytail and left the bathroom, carrying her phone with her. She shoved her feet into a pair of comfortable slip-ons and left her room before sending a brief response. on my way down. As far as she knew her mom and stepdad were still out back and Jules didn't want to risk sneaking Jasper up to her room, because then she would have to sneak him out, and if he was about to break up with her, it was probably best to do it outside. Because he was probably going to break up with her, because she was an idiot who said the L-word like idiots do and he'd had plenty of days now to think about it and freak out. Ugh, why couldn't he just break up with her over text so she could pretend like she didn't care?
Jules slipped outside, closing the front door quietly behind her before she started down the drive toward Jasper's car. She could see him inside through the windows and he looked... not good. Yeah, he was so totally breaking up with her. Jules cleared her throat and opened the passenger side door to get inside, She wasn't going to cause a scene. Probably. Jules gave him a small smile, setting her phone next to her leg on the seat. "Hey," she said, hoping she sounded more casual than she felt. "Everything okay?"
Jasper was staring at the house, so he watched Jules step out and come down the driveway, and then around his car. She looked beautiful, perfect, untouched by this hellish day in a way that put a lump in his throat. His emotions had been all over the map all day long and now that exhaustion had set in, he felt like he was going to sob at any moment. Jasper didn’t cry very often, but he guessed he could be excused on the day his baby sister went missing. He stared at Jules as she got in, unaware of just how vacant and disconnected he looked. He just didn’t know how to feel about anything. Jasper shook his head at her question, meeting her eyes. “Amelia’s missing,” he said. It came out sounding dull and flat and unreal. “She disappeared out of my mom’s yard this morning.” Now Jules would naturally ask a bunch of questions he didn’t have the answers to, but he was dimly glad to have her there next to him.
She had been holding her breath, waiting to get dumped and tell him what an idiot he was, but what Jasper did say took her by complete surprise and Jules's eyes widened, her worries moments before vanishing in light of the news. She would have rather been dumped than hear that. "Oh my god," she breathed, immediately reaching out to grab his hand. Of course all of those questions popped into her mind. Had they checked Amelia's friends? The cops? All of that obvious stuff that most people would have asked, but Jules was quick to recognize that it was nighttime and Jasper said Amelia disappeared that morning. Obviously they had checked her friends, and wherever else by now. And they hadn't found her. Jules suddenly felt guilty for not even being in town, though Jasper hadn't texted her about it at all. Maybe they had thought Amelia had just run away for some nine year old reason and would come home by dark. "Do you have any... I mean... what should we do?" Because it felt like they should be looking now, even though rationally Jules was positive that Jasper had been looking, and probably all day. Honestly, she had no idea what to say or what to do right now, she was still trying to work her head around the fact that his sister was gone. So many kids used to go missing from Point Pleasant, but it felt like it hadn't happened in awhile...
Jasper didn’t fight the hand hold, squeezing Jules’s fingers back in a tired sort of way. He was glad she didn’t pepper him with questions, she was smarter than he gave her credit for sometimes. The thing she did ask was one of those that he didn’t have an answer for. It felt to Jasper like they should still be looking too, but he didn’t know where else to look. He’d driven around this fucking town a million times already, it felt like, check and re-checking places, compelled to keep moving. He hadn’t been back to his mother’s house since he’d taken his dad back there, but he knew she would call him if Amelia showed up again. She wasn’t that cruel. The lump in Jasper’s throat suddenly felt too big to swallow and his face started to crumple a bit as he shook his head. “I dunno,” he breathed, the words coming out choppy. His grip tightened on Jules’s hand and before he could stop himself he was leaning in toward her, hoping she would hug him because he really needed it.
This was the worst. Jules wrapped her arms around him, wondering if she had ever seen him upset. Upset-upset, not angry upset. And Jules had no idea what to say or do to make him feel better, short of going door to door in Point Pleasant to try and find his sister. Jules had never even met his sister, and she didn't know what she looked like. Not that it mattered right then, because she would do whatever Jasper asked her to do if it helped. Rather than try to come up with something placating and probably meaningless, Jules held onto him, squeezing him tight. “I'm really sorry," she said, sounding more emotional than she wanted to. She hated seeing him in pain, especially when she couldn't fix it.
Sorry was useless, sorry didn’t do anything, but Jasper didn’t mind hearing it at the moment. Especially since Jules sounded sincerely upset for him. For Amelia. He realized he’d never even gotten around to introducing them, and he remembered how excited Amelia had been to hear he had a girlfriend -- a cool cheerleader girlfriend. Now they might never even get to meet. That thought really broke him down, and Jasper twisted further to clutch at Jules with both arms, too tired to push down all the fear and sorrow and desperation anymore. He cried like a baby into the crook of Jules’s neck, his already touchy head starting to throb from all the pressure. Amelia was gone, out there somewhere alone -- or worse, maybe not alone -- and terrified and probably cold, and she was the best thing to come out of their fucked up family and now she might never come back, and it was all just too much.
Jules had never had anyone cry on her before. No, that was wrong. She had never had a boy cry on her before. There were plenty of drama filled moments with her girlfriends who were upset with their boyfriends, or non-boyfriends, or fighting with each other and using Jules as a literal shoulder to cry on. And she always knew how to handle that. But this was totally different and she felt the pain too even though she didn't know Amelia. Jules held onto Jasper, bringing one hand up to brush it through his hair. She could feel her neck was wet from where he was crying, but she didn't care. Jasper had always been so emotionally guarded with things, so she knew how this must have been affecting him and as much as she wished for different circumstances, Jules was glad that he considered her someone he could seek comfort from, even if that might not have been why he showed up in the first place. Jules decided not to say anything else for now, but to hang onto him and let him do what he needed to do.
Jasper didn’t think he’d ever let anyone see him break down like this, at least not since he’d been a little kid or something. As soon as he’d realized he could suppress his emotions, he’d started doing it. Everything could be locked in a closet until he was alone to let it loose. Most everything anyway -- anger tended to slip out the most. This was pure pain though, heart wrenching and deep. He’d never felt this kind of loss. And the worst part was, he knew there was nothing he could do but wait. The helplessness was terrible. He would keep trying, of course, but it all felt so fruitless and hopeless at the moment. It took him a long time to cry himself out, and if he’d been bawling over almost anything else, he would’ve been embarrassed about it. This was real attractive to Jules, he was sure. But that didn’t matter. Jasper was pretty sure she wouldn’t leave him for being a pussy about this. Eventually he just sagged against her, lifting one hand to wipe uselessly at his wet face as he sniffled and tried to get his breath back. “I dunno what to do,” he mumbled.
Jules hoped that if the tables were turned, Jasper would be there for her the way she was trying to be there for him. He had already dealt with her fear over what happened with her mirror, and he hadn't ditched her when she brought up the whole L-word thing. And his sister was missing, which felt so much bigger than all of that stuff. She waited until the tears seemed to have slowed and finally stopped, and when he spoke again, Jules slipped her hand behind the nape of his neck to squeeze it gently. "I know," she murmured, trying desperately to think of something helpful, but her mind was so frustratingly blank at the moment. "We can keep looking," she said finally. "Everywhere. Even places they've already looked. Maybe she'll show up, or someone will remember something."
Jasper wished they were somewhere more comfortable, where he could stretch out and cling to Jules and maybe fall asleep for a while, instead of leaning uncomfortably sideways to hold onto her. But taking her back to his dad’s probably wasn’t a great idea, and he knew Jules’s parents were home and it would be hard to bring him in and out. Being a teenager fucking sucked. “Yeah,” Jasper agreed, his voice ragged from all the crying. What else could they do but keep looking? Keep hoping. Maybe sleep would recharge his internal tank of hope, because right now Jasper was running on empty. “The cops’re ... doing search parties an’ shit ... making flyers. Everybody’s gonna be looking for her. I just ... I can’t believe this is happening. She’s smart, she knows not to just walk off. Somebody took her.” Or something, which was a very dark thought that Jasper had been trying to dodge all day.
Jules had the brief flash of that Thing in her dreams and she immediately banished it from her thoughts. Or at least tried to, because she shivered at the memory. Those were just dreams. That thing didn't really exist. Not like... creepy black eyed kids or whatever. Jules very nearly asked Jasper about those things - kids approached kids, right? - but she bit back that urge too. He was already stressed out, she didn't need to make it worse by bringing up all the dark crap that apparently existed in Point Pleasant, even if it felt like it was hanging over them like a dark storm cloud. "Do you think maybe... maybe she and your mom had a fight and she ran away?" It didn't seem likely, but nine year olds weren't super mature or rational, were they? It had to be considered a possibility as long as she was gone. It was definitely better than any of the alternatives.
If Jasper started thinking about all the supernatural what-ifs, he knew he would drive himself absolutely nuts. Even more nuts than he already was. The Black Eyes Kids had crossed his mind too, of course, along with all the other things he could only barely imagine existing. It was bad enough picturing Amelia getting taken by some pedo pervert. He felt like if he let his mind go down that darker, more mysterious path he would never come back from it. That made him feel guilty, because Amelia didn’t get that choice, whatever had happened to her, but Jasper felt like he needed to keep his shit at least somewhat together. His parents were falling apart. “We thought of that,” he muttered to Jules. Jasper gathered the strength to sit up again, and pulled the front of his t-shirt up to wipe his face. “Mom said they weren’t fighting. I just dunno where she would go. We checked all her friends’ places, all the parks, the school, all our family’s, everywhere around town ... Me and Dad drove around for hours, then I drove around for hours. She wasn’t even gone that long. Mom called the cops like ... within the hour. She said she heard Amelia call for her from the yard and then she was just gone. Left her phone, all her toys, clothes, everything.” He sniffled and shook his head, baffled.
Jules looked out the window thoughtfully. She had runaway once when she was eight. But she had taken her sleeping bag, and some toys. She had hid behind a tree down the road in a neighbor's yard until sunset, when the sky had gotten dark and the night turned cold. It had scared her, and she'd been hungry, so she had returned home. Her mom hadn't even noticed she was gone from the house. So if Amelia had runaway, surely she would have taken some of her things, right? Jules sucked on her bottom lip for a brief moment before reaching out to take Jasper's hand again. "I wish I knew what to say, Jasper. Or do. I'll help however you need me to." Had they searched the water? The cliffs? Those particular places weren't exactly ideal to find people alive, but... no, she didn't want to suggest it. Not now. The cops would do their job, she was sure.
Jasper wished he knew what to do or say too. Or what to ask for from Jules. He didn’t know any of that. Maybe the cops would have some suggestions for them or something the next day. He was just ... too tired to think now. He wanted to curl up somewhere and sleep, even though he already knew he would have nightmares. And God knew if Amelia was able to rest, wherever she was. If she was even still alive. The thought made him feel wobbly again and he swallowed thickly. He squeezed Jules’s hand. “Thanks,” he murmured. “There’s gonna be more search parties tomorrow if you wanna ... call me after school or something.” He wasn’t going, obviously. “I wish I could take you home with me, but my old man’s probably trashed by now.”
"I can bail on school if you want me around," Jules told him. He might not, and that would be okay. She imagined he was probably dealing with his parents and family and she didn't want to be in the way. Her mom would probably be pissed too, but it wasn't like she had to know. Margaret liked to give money to charities and crap, but Jules could die of shock if she ever saw her mother put on hiking shoes and help in these kind of situations. "If not, I'll call you after and help. And... I mean, do you want to come up to my room? We'd have to be careful about it, but my mom won't bug me in my room if she thinks I've already gone to bed." Jules had no idea what Jasper wanted to do. Remove himself from the situation and a drunk dad for a night? Stay home in case any news came? Jules didn't know, but she wanted to at least give him options.
Jasper didn’t know what he wanted to do either, which wasn’t a great feeling. He was usually pretty confident and decisive, and all of this just had him flailing and feeling small and lost and useless. He didn’t really want to go home and deal with drunk Gavin, but at the same time he didn’t want to miss any news if it did come. He just wanted Jules with him, but he knew that would cause problems for her, so he didn’t want to ask. Nor did he want to expose her to any fits his dad might throw, or make either of them even more uncomfortable than they already were or something. He thought about it for a long moment, chewing on his bottom lip, then shook his head, looking over at her earnestly. “I should go home,” he said quietly. “Just in case the cops start calling or something.” There needed to be someone sober at home to deal with any news. Hopefully Jasper hadn’t already missed some. He squeezed Jules’s hand again. “I just ... needed to see you, y’know?”
Jules probably would have gone home with him if he had asked, even if his dad had been wasted. It wasn't like it was a super big house, so she doubted it would have taken much trouble to just sneak into his room for the night. But she didn't want to impose herself on him if he wanted to deal with things on his own. It was such a weird situation, one she didn't think anyone she knew would ever find themselves in. Things sort of felt distant and surreal, but Jules had no idea how to fix it. She offered him a small smile and brought his hand up to press to her cheek. "I know. I just wish I could do more for you. And you know where I am if you need anything. If your dad is... too wasted or something, you can always come back." And if he didn't, she would call him as soon as school was over tomorrow. Jules didn't think Ms. Gaines would be mad if she ditched cheer practice to help Jasper's family look for his sister.
Jasper waffled for a moment, gazing at her with puffy, bloodshot eyes, wondering if he could just text Gavin and see if he was still awake, and if he didn’t answer ... But there was no guarantee that he would even see it, if he was already drunk and in a mood. And tonight? Jasper wouldn’t have even blamed him. He felt like getting shitfaced himself, but there were more important things. He knew it would be a rough night though, and it was probably kinder to spare Jules from having to deal with him. Maybe they could work something out for the next night. “Thanks Jules,” he murmured. He couldn’t dredge up a smile for her, but the words were sincere. “I’ll call you if anything ... changes.” If he needed to be somewhere besides home, or if Amelia was found, he would let her know. Now that he’d purged his emotions a bit, he was feeling a little antsy to get back, just in case. Jasper glanced toward Jules’s house and then reached for his door handle. “Gonna get out with you for a minute,” he murmured. He wanted to hug her properly, not over a seat console.
She was honestly hoping Jasper would drive home and his sister would be there waiting for him. She wanted all of this to be a miscommunication or something, like Amelia had gone to stay the night with a friend and her mom had just forgotten. But they had checked her friends already so that wasn’t likely. What were they going to do if they didn’t find her? Jules couldn’t even imagine. A part of her wanted to just drag Jasper upstairs and curl up with him in her bed, because she wasn’t sure she even wanted him to go home if his dad was really as wasted as Jasper thought he would be. But she could understand Jasper’s desire to be home, just in case. It was a frustrating and sad situation. When Jasper moved to get out of the car, Jules followed, more than ready for a chance to hold him again, even if it was for a brief moment. She closed the passenger door quietly and moved around the car to meet him halfway.
Jasper would’ve died of happiness if he did go home and Amelia was there. Or if his mom called to say she’d shown up again now that it had been dark for a while. But the horrible dread in his chest wouldn’t let him entertain that idea for very long. Something awful had happened to her. He could feel it. Jasper wanted to be wrong, but he currently didn’t have a lot of hope that he was. He walked around to the front of his car, sparing a small thought to hope that her parents weren’t watching through a window or something, and wrapped his arms around Jules. Jasper held on tight to her, bowing his head to press his temple against hers and closing his eyes. She felt good in his arms as always, and he tried to soak in that feeling and let it soothe everything else, at least a little. It was the first real hug he’d gotten in this hellish day.
Jules slipped her arms around him, not really caring right then if her mom saw. She kind of had the feeling Margaret already knew who Jules was dating, given Jules's friends liked to gossip and a lot of their moms were friends with Jules's mom. She hadn't said anything to Jules yet, but Jules had a feeling it was coming eventually. Not that it even mattered right now. Wanting to hold onto Jasper for awhile was more important than worrying about what her mom thought about it. She squeezed him tight, wanting to tell him that she loved him, but she didn't think that would be as comforting as it might have been to other people. Jules wasn't going to move until he was ready to go, her hands moving gently up and down his back.
He stayed there for quite a while, letting Jules pet him, thinking he should let go and get moving every couple of seconds and then ... not. Normally, Jasper cared about things like being too clingy, but nothing about today was normal, and he kind of wanted to just stand there in Jules’s arms for the rest of the night. He waffled again on going up to her room, or taking her home with him, or something, but a desire to shield her from the uglier parts of his family won out. Jasper finally moved to pull back, sliding his hands from her back to up her face so he could tilt it up. He leaned in to press a soft kiss against her lips. “Talk to you tomorrow,” he murmured, though he didn’t pull away quite yet.
Jules probably would have been totally content with standing there for the rest of the night, even if it got even colder. She was hoping it was providing Jasper some kind of comfort and Jules was reluctant to pull away when he kissed her. Her hands pressed against his waist and she studied him, nearly asking him to stay the night with her again. But he needed to be home. Jules was pretty sure his dad needed him there, even if neither of them realized it. He might not get along well with his family, but these seemed to be the kind of moments where family needed to stick together. "Call me anytime you need to," she told him, "even if it's the middle of the night. I don't care."
Jasper knew that unless Amelia miraculously turned back up, he was going to be hearing a lot of shit like that from people in the near future. The difference was, he actually believed Jules. And her number would probably be the first he would turn to if he did need it. “I will,” he promised. He didn’t quite feel better, but he did feel calmer, and that was something. More supported. “Thank you,” Jasper added in a murmur, hoping his sincerity came across. Her being there meant more to him than he had the words for. He pulled her in for another tight hug, but kept this one brief, pressing another kiss to the side of her head before he pulled back again.
Jasper was probably the only person she would ever say that to and mean it. Honestly, she probably wouldn't care if he texted or called her at any time of the day or night for any reason, but she definitely wanted him to do it if he needed her, especially now. Jules resisted clinging when Jasper hugged her again, and she let him go reluctantly, stepping back out of the way so he could get back to his car. The feeling of helplessness intensified and she absolutely hated that she could do nothing more than just watch him drive away. Jules didn't even want to say goodnight, because it wouldn't be a good night for him. "Be careful," she told him, moving up onto the driveway to get out of the way, but she didn't want to go back inside until he was gone.
“I will,” Jasper promised, giving her one more lingering look before he climbed back into his car. It had already been the longest, most exhausting day he could remember, and he didn’t have much hope that he would be getting a lot of rest that night. But he did need to be home, to check in on his dad -- even if Jasper wasn’t thinking of it as such -- and to be near the house phone just in case. Jasper didn’t trust anybody to call him if something changed. He turned the engine over, gave Jules a little wave, and then pulled away. Hopefully all of this would be over soon and Amelia would be home safe, and everything could go back to normal ... but Jasper wasn’t going to bet on that. His family had shitty luck, it seemed like, and he didn’t expect them to catch many breaks. He could just hope that wouldn’t be the case when it came to Amelia.