Who: Gavin and Aaron When: Saturday, Oct 21, afternoon Where: the Back Porch Status: Complete
Aaron didn’t really feel any better about anything, but he couldn’t stay away from work for forever. Mila needed him and he wanted to be there with her as much as possible, but that also felt kind of suffocating sometimes, and work was a good excuse to just be somewhere doing something mindless. It made him glad that he didn’t have to fuck around with any of the paperwork or the schedules or anything like that. He just had to put bottles where they belonged and wash dishes and count things sometimes. And hope that someone got a shitty attitude so he could physically escort them out. Mindless. Having earbuds in with blasting music helped.
It would be a while before the rush came in that night, and Aaron was prepping for it, drying off extra beer mugs to put out from a rack in front of him. Joseph was planted at the bar in the front, and Aaron was sure he’d talked some shit, but the heavy metal in his ears had blocked it out, and that was just as well. Aaron didn’t even want to look at him. So he kept his head down and did his job and tried not to think too much, feeling tired and hollow and only half-awake.
Gavin was determined to leave his little brother alone. He knew Aaron wanted it that way and they'd talk later, when some time had passed. Gavin had given him a few sympathetic smiles here and there but they mostly came out like a grimace instead and he'd decided to stop trying.
The problem with working together was that sometimes not talking just wasn't an option and before long he found he needed Aaron's help with a keg. Gavin would have been perfectly capable of doing most of this shit on his own before his arm was busted but he was really feeling how weak it was today. That didn't mean he didn't try, very nearly punching the wall with his good arm when his damaged one gave up and got pained and floppy. "Fuck," he hissed to himself and headed back up front, leaning against the doorway to the bar and waiting to get Aaron's attention.
Judging by the looks Gavin had been giving him, Aaron had assumed word had gotten around about the baby. Of course Caden had told Gavin, that just made sense. He was okay with that, it just meant Aaron didn’t have to say it again. He just figured they weren’t going to talk about it at all. Maybe that was for the best. Aaron turned to put the mugs currently in his hands up on the shelf, and spotted Gavin staring at him. That only ever meant he wanted something. Aaron walked over, pulling one earbud out and lifting his eyebrows at his brother.
Gavin scratched the back of his neck with his good hand. This was uncomfortable and he didn't do well with uncomfortable. "Need your muscle," he mumbled, indicating behind him with his head before turning to walk back there himself. He hated this but he also hated that he had to ask Aaron now when he'd just caused him this much grief. When Aaron followed him he cleared his throat and glanced back at him. "You holding up okay?"
Aaron followed Gavin without a second thought. Part of him might have still been incredibly pissed at Gavin, but Aaron still had a job to do. It didn’t end up mattering anyway in the grand scheme of things; it seemed like God didn’t want Mila to be pregnant any more than Gavin did. He shrugged his shoulders at the question, not bothering to look over. “Sure,” he said, which wasn’t really an answer at all. Aaron just didn’t want to talk about it to Gavin. He didn’t really want to talk to Gavin, period. He could bawl like a baby on Kat’s shoulder, share a drink with Caden, Gavin he just ... didn’t know. That still hurt too much.
Gavin crossed his arms over his chest and watched as Aaron effortlessly got the keg. It was stupid but it always felt like a bit of a blow to his ego when he couldn't lift things anymore, even if he had good reason. "For what it's worth," he muttered. "I'm sorry." Aaron probably didn't want to hear it and Gavin couldn't blame him but he wanted to say it anyway. He did feel bad for his little brother though he'd never let him know he had good reason to feel guilty too. They'd fucked up, he knew it as soon as Reagan started her spell and it was eating away at him now.
He juggled kegs all day long, so Aaron handled it easily. He could easily guess how much Gavin hated having to ask for help with stuff like this, but since it was the only thing they ever seemed to need Aaron for, he was sort of glad for it. He got the keg into place and then looked over at his brother, brushing his hands off. Part of him wanted to tell Gavin that his apology wasn’t worth shit, but Aaron was just so damn tired. He sighed and looked down for a second, then nodded. “Thanks,” he murmured. “I know you’re probably ... relieved.”
Gavin's brows drew together and he shook his head. Was he relieved? He thought he would be after the fact but now he just felt shitty about it all. "No," he muttered. "I don't." He should, he knew that much, he should feel like they did the right thing but it all felt dark and weird and his brother looked so tired. He knew on some level Aaron was better off not having a pregnant girlfriend but that didn't mean they'd been right to interfere. "So... I'm sorry."
Aaron had never really known Gavin to lie to him, but he still wasn’t sure how much he believed that. Sure Gavin didn’t really look relieved, but he always looked kind of constipated like that, so who knew. It didn’t matter. None of it did. In the end his baby was still gone and his brothers had ultimately gotten what they wanted. “Yeah, me too,” he muttered, his voice wavering a tiny bit. Some day that was going to stop happening, but apparently not yet. Aaron cleared his throat. “You need anything else?”
Gavin shook his head though he might need something later. "Do you?" he asked, a somewhat clumsy way of asking if Aaron needed anything in general. He wanted to be there for him but he didn't have the first clue how. There were people out there in the world who seemed to always know how to behave and what to say when things went south but Gavin didn't think anyone in his family was capable of that, least of all him.
There were a lot of things Aaron needed, but he wasn’t sure he would be getting them from Gavin any time soon. He felt like he’d been shown a truth, just how much his oldest brother thought of him, and there was no way to take it back now. Gavin could be sorry that Mila had lost the baby, but he wouldn’t be sorry about that, Aaron had a feeling. He’d pulled the towel out of his belt to wipe off hands that didn’t need wiping, and Aaron turned it over and over between his palms for a moment, gazing down at it, then shook his head. He didn’t even know where to start, so it was better not to. In the past he would’ve been eager to lean on Gavin, but now he didn’t feel like he could. He would just prove Gavin right, Aaron couldn’t Handle Life. “Alright,” he murmured, and turned to go back out front.
Gavin was wracked with guilt and he knew that there was something he should be saying - could be saying - but nothing came to mind. He watched Aaron walk away, unsure how he was going to get through the rest of the night when he felt like the worst person in the world. He reminded himself that this feeling wasn't exactly new, he'd felt like the worst person in the world since he was a kid but this time... This time he'd actively done something to prove it. He headed in after Aaron, giving him a wide berth to avoid infringing on his space. He might have avoided him altogether if it wasn't for the fact that it was Saturday and things were about to get busy.