Katalina Lucas (half_hell) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-04-29 21:49:00 |
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Entry tags: | #october 2017, aaron, aaron x kat, kat |
A Bad Day
Who: Kat and Aaron
When: Thursday, Oct 19, late evening
Where: phone, then Aaron's place
Status: Complete
When Aaron had left the bar, he hadn’t quite wanted to go back to Mila’s. On one hand, he did, but on the other, he felt like a complete mess and like he shouldn’t expose her to that. He was still shaky from the confrontation with his father -- if you could even call it that -- and the ensuing rage that had nowhere to go. Rage and grief and worry were all churning around inside of his stomach, and he’d decided that the few shots of whiskey with Caden hadn’t been enough. He needed to drink and be isolated for a while, so Aaron swung by a liquor store for a bottle of his own and then drove out to the beach.
It was raining out, the day as stormy as his insides, and far too cold to go out and get soaked. Aaron parked his truck in the little lot that overlooked Point Pleasant’s small beach and just watched the ocean and drank. For hours. He cried a lot, he listened to sad country songs, he yelled to himself, and he got progressively more drunk until he couldn’t feel anything anymore. Then he passed out for a while. When Aaron woke up again, his head still spinning and full of cotton, it was dark and still storming. Fuck.
He checked his phone, momentarily blinded as he squinted and tried to make out the time. It was past eight. Mila probably thought he was still at work. He wanted to get home to her, but Aaron knew he was still too drunk to drive. He needed help, but the only person he could think of he wanted to ask for it was Kat. He had to break the news to her anyway, so Aaron fumbled at the buttons on the screen to call her, then put the phone to his ear. He leaned forward until his forehead thunked against the steering wheel and closed his eyes.
Kat was having a reasonably relaxing night, for her. She’d gone out with some girlfriends to Chili’s and had way too many chips, but their chips were bomb. So thin and salty and perfect. She’d already resigned herself to drinking a ton of water and going running in the morning, usually the way she dealt with most dietary sins. She’d changed into yoga pants and a soft shirt and was brushing out her hair in the bedroom as she kept one eye on the TV; nothing like a little CNN to break the monotony. When her phone rang, she was surprised, wondering who’d be calling her at this point in the evening. She flung her brush onto the fainting couch, tied the long strands into a loose knot at the nape of her neck and went to grab the phone.
Aaron. That was always a welcome call. She swiped, smiling as she put the device to her ear. “Hello, favorite brother,” she said, her tone cheerful.
Aaron hadn’t really had a plan on what to say, he’d just been running on instinct when he’d called her. Kat loved him, Kat would help him out, Kat would actually understand why he was so upset. When she actually answered with those loving words, his throat closed up again, tears stinging his eyes and nose. Goddammit, he had to pull his shit together, honestly. “Kat,” he mumbled, his words slurry and slow. “M’not ... can you ... can you come’n get me? S’not good right now. For ... driving.” His voice caught and Aaron took a shaky breath. “Baby’s gone,” he added. At least he tried to add, he wasn’t even sure if she could understand him or not.
Instantly, Kat’s back straightened as if there were a rod in her spine and she lost her breath for a few seconds. She didn’t understand the last two words, but she could tell that something was very wrong. Had there been a fight with Caden or Gavin? Had Aaron been hurt some other way? She strode across the room to stuff her feet into shoes. “Tell me where you are,” she said, her voice low but firm. “I can come right now.” She could find out what was wrong later, but she felt an urgent need to get to him and see that he was reasonably safe. She grabbed her car keys and wallet and headed downstairs where she could pull a jacket from the hall closet.
Relief flooded through Aaron because he’d been right, Kat was coming to his rescue. Of course she was, she was awesome like that. In the past, Aaron might’ve called Gavin first as his pseudo-dad who drank plenty himself and would understand the need to get shitfaced, but now after what he’d said to Mila, and how it had all ended up ... no. Aaron didn’t want to ask Gavin for anything ever again. He made himself sit up further and look around, half-forgetting where he’d parked himself. “Th’ beach,” he told her, and gave a big sniffle. “Parkin’ lot.” His truck was the only vehicle there because it was still raining like hell, so Kat wouldn’t have to work hard to find him. “Careful, s’rainin’.”
Kat was terrified, and she knew she would be until she’d actually seen her brother. Some paranoid impulse made her afraid that something might happen to him before she could get there. Intellectually she knew that was foolish, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to see him, talk to him. “Don’t move,” she said, working her way into her jacket, switching hands with the phone. “I’ll see you in ten minutes or less.” She didn’t really want to end the call either, but she did, mostly so she could stuff the phone in her pocket and get ready to drive. She was just about running as she exited the house into the garage and got into her car again.
The whole way to the beach lot, she mentally cautioned herself to be careful. Having a wreck on slick roads wouldn’t help anything. The wipers swished across her windshield, and she had to turn the radio off because it was too distracting and only made her antsy. When she turned into the lot, she immediately saw her brother’s truck and parked next to it. Leaving the car running, she got out and approached his door, pulling the handle so she could get to him if it was unlocked, not caring that she was getting wet.
Aaron was aware of Kat’s car pulling up next to him -- at least he hoped that was Kat’s car and not the cops -- but everything was slow and fuzzy so she got to his door before he got it open. The whole cab probably smelled like booze, but oh well. It was what it was. Aaron made sure he had his keys and his phone, then slipped out of the truck and into the rain. He tried to tell Kat that he hadn’t meant for her to get out and get soaked, but it came out all garbled. It was hard to talk in the pouring rain anyway, and the ground didn’t feel too solid under his feet, so he just let her help him get into her car.
Aaron smelled like he’d spilled a whole bottle of something either in his truck or on himself, but Kat didn’t comment. She made sure his truck was locked and hoped that nobody would get the bright idea to try to vandalize it. Once they were in her car and she had both of them buckled in, she pushed sodden wisps of hair out of her face and started the engine. “Your place or mine?” she asked, fine with either alternative. She just wanted to find out what was going on and how she could help him.
Aaron had slouched far down in the passenger seat, leaning heavily against the door as soon as it was shut. He felt like he weighed a million pounds and everything was too spinny, but at least he didn’t feel sick. He didn’t want to puke in Kat’s car, that was for sure. His brow furrowed at her question, as he wondered if he should go back to Mila’s instead ... but no. He was a mess, he didn’t want her to see him like this. She was already dealing with enough. Even if all he wanted right then was to bury his face in her tits and cry. She didn’t need that. “Mine,” he decided. Passing out in his own bed would probably be for the best.
“Okay,” Kat said, reaching over with one hand to pat his leg. She could feel the tightness in her chest easing now that she was with him and saw that he was physically all right. That was something. She turned the car toward Seaview Village once she was out of the parking lot, driving slower than she normally did because of the downpour. Pulling in a silent breath and then letting it out slowly, she said, “Thanks for calling me instead of trying to drive yourself.” The Lucases could be reckless, herself included, but driving drunk in the rain would be above and beyond.
Aaron could do some very stupid things, and he had driven a few times when he probably shouldn’t have, but never when he was this sloshed. He could barely see straight, much less drive straight, and he had no desire to get arrested. Or kill someone else. Or have anybody yell at him for being so dumb or something. He grunted some acknowledgement of what Kat said, nodding a bit with his head leaned against the window. “‘Anks f’comin’,” he mumbled, hoping that made enough sense to Kat. He appreciated her being there for him, more than he could possibly express. If it wasn’t for her, he probably would’ve just slept in his truck, and that was never fun. “S’a bad day, Kat,” Aaron added. “M’sorry.”
Kat’s mind was racing as she tried to figure out what could possibly have happened. Now wasn’t the time to ask questions, not while she was trying valiantly to keep her car in the correct lane. At least they were almost there; nowhere was very far away in Point Pleasant. “I know,” she said soothingly. “When we get inside and dry off, you can tell me what’s going on.” She was assuming they’d get to that part; Aaron was much drunker than she’d seen him in quite a while. He hadn’t broken up with Mila or anything like that, had he? She continued to worry about what it was even as she navigated her way through Seaview Village and parked in front of Aaron’s mobile home.
“Give me your key,” she said. “It’s still pouring, so we need to get inside fast.”
Aaron was not looking forward to having to walk up the porch steps and actually get inside. He hoped he was steady enough to do it; his sister was strong, but he wasn’t a small man by any means. He hadn’t even been to his house in nearly a week, he couldn’t remember how messy it was, but he was willing to bet it was pretty messy. Kat would just have to forgive him for it. Along with so many other things. He fumbled his keys out of his pocket and took a minute to find the one that went to the door, then held it out for her. When they were ready, he opened the car door and more lurched out into the rain than got out, trying to close it as quick as possible behind him. The journey to the door was as arduous as he’d thought, and he was grateful for the railing on his porch to cling onto, and the narrow roof that hung over them. Why did the world have to tilt so much? Fuck.
It was a miracle they both got up onto the porch without one of them falling and killing themselves, Kat thought. They were both soaked, but she got Aaron’s door unlocked without incident and helped to guide her brother inside. Breathing a sigh of relief that they were out of the downpour, she kicked off her shoes against the wall and shrugged out of her jacket; at least the shirt underneath it was dry. “Plant yourself,” she suggested, since they were near the couch. “I’ll go grab some towels and some dry clothes. I promise I’ll ignore anything I see that I shouldn’t.” The last sentence was more of a joke than anything, although she didn’t know if he’d register that with his level of inebriation. The place was indeed a mess, but that wasn’t a concern at all to her. She still felt anxious as she gathered towels, a pair of sweatpants and a couple of shirts and headed back to the living room with it.
Aaron flopped onto the couch as soon as he reached it, which left his legs hanging off as he laid down. He didn’t care. He was drunk enough that the floor would’ve been comfortable, even with all the stuff strewn around. He stared bleary-eyed at the abandoned beer bottles that lined the coffee table and waited for Kat to come back, feeling useless and hopeless and just ... less. Mila hadn’t even been pregnant that long, only a few weeks along, they hadn’t gotten to hear a heartbeat or see an ultrasound or anything, women miscarried all the time ... he didn’t know why this had torn him up so much, but it apparently had. By the time Kat returned his eyes were leaking tears again, even though Aaron didn’t have the energy to really cry anymore. He made himself sit up -- a slow process -- and took the dry clothes from her. Aaron reached back to pull his shirt off, at least beginning the process of changing sitting down. “Y’think ... wonder f’it was a boy or’a girl,” he murmured.
Kat had untied her hair so she could towel it dry, realizing she was going to look like a hot mess but not caring at all. She’d straightened back up and was combing it with her fingers when Aaron spoke. It took her a few seconds to parse his words, but when she had, her heart sank. “Something happened to the baby?” she asked softly, just to be sure she understood what he meant. That had to be it. What else would have upset him this much? She reached over to take his sodden shirt from him, thinking she’d hang it over the back of a chair, maybe. Her heart ached to sit down and hold her brother, but there was a practical side to her that wanted wet clothes out of the way first.
Aaron looked up at her, a bit blank for a second as he pieced together that she didn’t know. Oh. Had he told her? He couldn’t remember now. “Lost it,” he said. Aaron pulled the fresh t-shirt on, ignoring the fact that his skin was still kind of damp. He would dry off. Every movement was very slow and labored though, everything was feeling like it was taking great effort. “Couple ... couple nights ago.” That was all the detail he felt like he could give her. Aaron currently didn’t have the vocabulary to go into how terrifying it had been, seeing Mila bleeding that much and the tone in her voice when she’d said she needed to go to the hospital, how the doctor had broken the news, how exhausting the grief was. He leaned back and started undoing his jeans as he clumsily pushed his sneakers off with his toes.
“Oh, no,” Kat murmured. It was clear that her brother was devastated, and that made her reflect on what a really sweet guy he was. Some men would be relieved that they wouldn’t have to follow through with anything, wouldn’t need to support the baby after all. She could tell that Aaron had wrapped his mind around the idea of this baby and fully embraced it, so it was truly a loss. “I’m so sorry, honey.” She hurried to help him, pushing his shoes out of the way and helping him get his pants off and not feeling the least bit weird about it. They’d all come out of the same womb once upon a time, so who cared? Once she’d helped him get the sweatpants she’d brought him pulled up to where he could easily finish it himself, she curled up on the couch next to him and put one arm behind him so she could gently rub the back of his neck, wanting to comfort more than anything.
“How’s Mila doing?” she asked. She’d have to check in with her friend soon, since this was the first she’d heard that anything was wrong.
Luckily, Aaron’s boxers were fine, so it wasn’t embarrassing to be undressed by his sister. They’d all grown up so close, they’d seen each other in all states of undress. The sweatpants felt nice and warm on his legs as he hiked them up, lurching a bit to get them over his ass and hips. When Kat settled next to him, he leaned over into her, unselfconscious about needing the affection. She’d always been the only one who would cuddle him, and it was definitely part of why he felt so close to her. Aaron settled his arm around his sister’s waist and sniffled again. “Sh’s sad,” he slurred, not sure at the moment how else to put it. “But sh’s not ... she’ll be okay.” Physically, he meant. “M’sad too. I really wanted it, Kat.” Some fresh tears twisted his face up for a second but Aaron tried to breathe through it.
Sometimes Kat thought that the only way she and Aaron had survived their childhood-- beyond the protection they’d gotten from Gavin and Caden, backhanded though it might have been-- had been this type of connection. It was a pure kind of love that she had never found anywhere else, and she was grateful for it. When terrible things like this happened, it made it less difficult to get through them. Her own eyes were tearing up as she leaned her head against his, and Kat wasn’t usually much of a crier. She’d rather be hurt herself than for Aaron to be, and she knew there wasn’t much she could do for him right now except be here. “I wanted it for you,” she said. “So much.” If it was hard for her to let go of the idea of that sweet little baby, loving it and spoiling it, she could only imagine how hard it would be for Aaron and Mila.
Aaron felt like all he’d been doing was crying. Quietly, with Mila. Against his will, by himself when he was trying to work. And now drunk and pathetically, on his sister’s shoulder. It was beyond tiring, and he didn’t want to do it anymore, but his body seemed to have its own ideas. Maybe this was better than sobbing alone in his truck though. Maybe. Aaron let it out a little, and thankfully this round of tears was short. He knew he shouldn’t be this upset ... he’d been scared to have a kid, and almost everybody around him thought he couldn’t handle it anyway. It had been so early, and it wasn’t like they couldn’t try again in the future. He’d just had his heart set on something and now it was gone. And Mila was hurting. And Aaron had never really been through loss like this before. Once he’d quieted down again, Aaron sighed. “Sorry,” he mumbled to Kat, wiping at his eyes and nose and feeling bad he’d dragged her out late at night for this. “M’okay.”
Any loss like this would hurt, and Kat wondered if it might not even more so for Aaron. Ever since they’d started talking about the baby, she’d been aware of how desperately he’d wanted it. That wanting was all over him, and it just felt so unfair. She kept him close until he pulled away, blinking carefully to keep her own emotions under control. “You don’t have to always be okay,” she told him. “I know you will be, but this is hard.” She never minded being available when her brother needed her; she knew he’d do the same for her. He had done it before.
Aaron sat up a bit further and slipped his arms around Kat to pull her into a tight hug. She was a good sister to him, and always had been, and he loved her fiercely. She was the only relative he had who would let him be emotional and actually show support instead of contempt, and Aaron needed that from someone. Especially at times like these. “Love you,” he muttered, and pressed a too-wet kiss to her cheek. He tried to wipe it off for her a second later and ended up clumsily poking Kat’s face instead. Stupid drunk hands. He was about to apologize when his phone chimed from somewhere on the floor. “Shit,” Aaron said, trying to blearily look for it without moving too much. “S’prob’ly Mila.”
“I love you too,” Kat said, then immediately started giggling at the sloppy kiss. It brought back memories of Drunk!Aaron when there hadn’t been something bad to precipitate it. He could be the funniest person alive when he’d been drinking. She took a deep breath and then leaned over to look for the phone when it started chiming. “You’d better see what it is, in case she needs you,” she said, locating the device and handing it over to her brother. If she had to, she’d drive Aaron to Mila’s, even if she thought it would be better for him to recover here at home.
He mumbled a thanks when Kat handed him his phone, like the saintliest sister ever to walk the planet, and fumbled through punching in his pin number to unlock it. It was Mila, and not the first time that night either. He’d missed some texts. Damn. Aaron thumbed in a clumsy response. He was okay, just drunk, and Kat was there, so everything was even more okay. Or that was the gist of it, anyway. He felt guilty for not being at Mila’s side right that second, and he hoped that she wouldn’t be mad at him later, but he didn’t have much energy to put into either one. Once he’d read her reply, he dropped his phone onto the coffee table and snuggled up to Kat again, sighing heavily. “She’s jus’ ... wondering,” he murmured in explanation and waved a vague hand. Then, sheepishly, he added, “C’n you stay a bit?”
Kat made a mental note to call or text Mila and check on her once she wasn’t with her brother. “Of course,” she said when he asked if she’d stay. She’d try to get him to drink some water, maybe take some aspirin, but the most important thing was being here. If need be, she’d stay all night; it wasn’t as if she had to be at home to take care of a pet or a child. She gave Aaron a hug and kissed his temple, realizing how grateful she was for her difficult upbringing. It had caused her to bond closely with her brother and it had made her incredibly strong. That was really a better gift than privilege.