Who: Herrick and OPEN, at least 1 human volunteer Where: Downtown, SF When: Saturday afternoon What: Shopping for a gift, more or less.
I cause disasters, I am the master, Turning little bastards into f***ing Casper.
"Hey! Listen to this!"
Herrick did't even look up from his phone as he reached a hand out, grabbing the individual about to pass him by on the street by the arm and pulling them back. Man, woman, boy, girl, it didn't matter. He took a breath, quickly dissolving into laughter as he tipped the device in his hand to better see the screen with the glare. "Oh, god," he grinned, "It hurts. Christ. Listen." Clearing his throat, the vampire swallowed back his rising mirth as he read aloud, "Playing soccer in gym. Ball is up in the air. Think I'm going to be awesome and air kick it into the goal. Try. Miss ball. Kick goalie in face." He had to pause for a moment with a groan. A snicker. He shook his head and continued. "Try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm fucking sorry" at the same time. Instead! Instead! Oh, god!"
He burst into laughter again, leaning over his knees as one arm coiled around his stomach because it hurt so much but at the same time he couldn't stop. He wasn't sure how coherent his words were as he finished but he tried, he tried his hardest. "Instead I end up yelling "Are you fucking sorry?!" Goalie is choking back tears! Are you fucking sorry!" Herrick leaned back into the wall of the building he'd been loitering at and slid to a crouch on the salt and ice strewn sidewalk as he repeated it one more time. "Are you fucking sorry! Oh, god, help me!"
Tipping his head back up against the brick he looked up at the other. "Can you believe that? That's the funniest fucking thing I've seen all day!"