Muggles 'Я' Crazy by Kyrie Title: Muggles 'Я' Crazy Author: Kyrie Rating: Torina!Safe, PG Words: 693 Warnings: Het Relationship Implied Disclamier: I own nothing... don't lt believe me, ask my cat. Beta: Abigail
Looking around the crowded car park, Severus shook his head. How Muggles managed to live as long as they did puzzled him. Their travel methods left a lot to be desired. Give him a portkey, floo powder, or even a broom any day over a car. Severus shuddered. He couldn’t believe he had actually let Kyrie talk him into accompanying her to a Muggle store, much less a Muggle toy store. He looked up at the building and saw the name of the store.
“Toys ‘Я’ Us,” he read, and looking at Kyrie questioned, “Do they not know that the ‘R’ is turned backwards?”
“It’s a gimmick.”
“A gimmick,” he repeated, his right eyebrow arching in derision.
“A stratagem designed to attract attention.”
“I know what a gimmick is,” snapped Severus tetchily, before muttering, “Muggles are strange creatures.”
Kyrie just grinned at the irritated Potions Master as she led him into the store. “Come on, Rus. We’ve got to find a birthday gift for Remus and Tonks’ daughter.”
“But why does it have to come from a Muggle store?” groused Severus.
“Because it will be different. Everyone else will be buying her wizarding toys. And I don’t want to be like everyone else,” explained Kyrie patiently.
Severus sighed. He still didn’t understand why he had to take part in this shopping trip. However, he loved the woman in front of him – something that astounded him daily, although not as much as the fact that for some unknown reason, she loved him too. He’d do things for her that would earn others an Avada Kedavra just for suggesting them. And it was that alone that motivated him to follow Kyrie through the aisles with nothing more than a slight shake of his head.
In less than five minutes, he had reduced three children and four adults to tears. The little snots kept running over him clamoring about HP toys… whatever they were. And the adults weren’t bothering to pay attention to where they pushed those cart things. He pinched the bridge of his nose with the thumb and forefinger of his left hand, hoping to ward off the headache that was building.
Suddenly someone behind him squealed, “Look! It’s Professor Snape!”
Severus looked up in disquiet. He had checked the area when they arrived for any signs of wizards or witches and had not found any trace whatsoever. Consequently there shouldn’t be anyone here who would recognize him. And that’s when he saw them… the shelves lined with dozens of miniature dolls of him. He stared in open-mouthed shock. He pushed his way through the hordes of swarming children, picked one up, and turned to look at Kyrie, who was laughing so hard she was holding her sides. Opening and closing his mouth wordlessly several times, Severus swallowed hard before finally managing, “What the…”
“Rus! There are children present,” admonished Kyrie.
Severus looked at the doll in his hands again and then looked up at Kyrie and demanded tersely, “Explain.”
“Muggles have a fictional story about wizards and one of the characters in the story is a Potions Master named Severus Snape. That is a doll from the movie.”
“But… it’s me,” stated Severus incredulously.
Giggling again, Kyrie replied, “I know, Rus.”
“Muggles are crazy!” he declared, and before she could stop him, Severus pulled out his wand and banished all of the Snape dolls. The bewildered Muggles were looking around, trying to figure out how the dolls had vanished into thin air, while Kyrie grabbed Severus by the arm and began pulling him toward the exit.
“Honestly, Rus. I can’t take you anywhere. Why did you do that?!?”
Severus just smirked in response.
Once back at the Leaky Cauldron, Kyrie looked at Severus in disgust. “I guess we go to a wizarding toy shop tomorrow morning before the party.”
Again Severus smirked at her. “Not necessarily,” he said smugly, pulling out a Snape doll and pushing it into Kyrie’s hands. “The perfect Muggle gift… a doll of me.”
Kyrie’s laughter was heard all the way up the stairs and only the closing of the door to their room cut it off.