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webmistresses (webmistresses) wrote in severus_sighs, @ 2013-02-18 08:40:00

A Twist of Lemon by bonfoi
Title: A Twist of Lemon
Author/Arist: bonfoi
Pairing: Severus Snape/Remus Lupin
Rating: R
Word Count: 2,311
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The characters and their worlds belong to their original writers and no copyright infringement or offense is intended. No money was made from this story.
Summary: It all has to do with fairy tales, machinations and manipulations, the long game and the havoc a poltergeist can wreak on the best-laid of plans.
A/N: Many thanks to my beta, badgerlady. She always makes me a better storyteller, and she did it again. This was written for prompt number two: 2. Severus is embarrassed to bare it all because of a certain "condition" – Maybe Severus is a hermaphrodite. Or has a third nipple or man boobs. Or a terrible skin condition. Or he's REALLY hung. #centaurSeverusFTW


A Twist of Lemon

Severus Snape was sallow, peaky, and hunched. There was no way around it. The good witches of Hogwarts had looked down their collective noses at him and promptly forgotten his existence when he broke with Lily Evans. The young wizards were more refined in their cruelty, using his mouth for their pleasures and ignoring everything else about him.

That is, until one frankly beastly day—thunder and lighting, gouts of rain pummelling the walls and windows of the castle, minor flooding of the Slytherin Dungeons, a failure in one of curtain walls on Ravenclaw Tower—something strange happened.

Severus Snape awoke on his seventeenth birthday as he did every day: with one eye scanning around, his wand clutched hard in his thin fingers, and a flurry of protective spells fluttering his lips. When nothing popped out, spat upon him, or attacked, he deemed it safe to sit up in his bed and consider his plans for the day. That's when things got interesting...

oOo

Severus reached down to scratch his bollocks and sat blinking rapidly as his fingers curled around a hefty cock and then sliding down to fondle testes the size of goose eggs. He distinctly remembered falling asleep with his own, thin, left-curving cock and its appropriately sized balls. "I've been cursed," he muttered over and over as he scrambled to push down the bedclothes and pull up his nightshirt.

The sight that met his disbelieving gaze was astonishing to say the least. His manly organs were gorgeous! Pale ivory kissed with the deepening blush of violet and mauve and shading into deepest, richest, royal purple at the mushroom crown. The skin of his belly, as well as that on his legs, was no longer yellow but peach-tinted ivory, and smooth. When he ran his fingertips carefully over his bollocks, even the curly, wiry hairs were softer and less wire-like.

He noticed his hands then. The staining from so many chemicals, so many potions ruined by toadlike twats of Gryffindors was gone! His nails gleamed pink and white with health. The skin of his hands was tinted with a touch of café au lait and made him think of summers with Grandmum Snape in North Hamps, digging in the dirt and feeling the connection to the earth, and creation, and... Severus found himself chuckling at the soppy thoughts and clapped both nearly perfect appendages to his mouth. A few stray sounds seeped past them, but he slowly regained control.

Licking his lips—they were smooth and felt plumper than the narrow, chapped ones he'd had when he'd fallen asleep—Severus took a deep breath and decided he needed a Glamour.

~oOo~

"Albus, I wish you'd take this seriously. Peeves has been ensorcelling students with the Prince Charming sceptre! It's the outside of enough that you thought that nasty bit of fairy magic was safe in your keeping, but to let a barmy poltergeist make away with it?!" Minerva McGonagall stood quivering in outrage as her friend merely ran his fingers through his beard with a mysterious smile on his face.

"Albus Dumbledore! If I didn't know better, I'd say you made it easy for Peeves to run amuck casting fairy tale magic on innocent students." She stamped her foot, and then began pacing, her bottom swishing from side to side angrily. Albus watched it with mild interest—comparing and contrasting the sight to other, more masculine ones—and then cast his eyes elsewhere when she turned at the fireplace to storm back.

Minerva came to a dead stop and pointed an accusing finger at her headmaster. "I warn you, here and now, Albus Dumbledore, if any student comes to harm, I'll...I'll...I'll feed you to the Giant Squid." She spun on her heel and marched toward the door. When it was open and she was ready to step through, she threw a scathing look over her shoulder. "No fool like an old fool."

Albus leaned back in his chair and contemplated the dust motes and dust fairies his Gryffindor Head of House had stirred up with all her tromping around. The fairies were lazily floating to and fro, minute flashes of light from their tiny wands blazing for a split second as they harvested the motes. When a herd of motes was driven down and under his settee, he leaned forward with a smile and rested his hands on his desk.

"Peeves, you old conniver, I knew you were going to stir things up..."

~oOo~

Almost six months passed. Severus had dodged, evaded, and bribed his way out of the arms of almost every unattached Seventh Year in Hogwarts, and a few single professors, too. He was almost a nervous wreck, juggling school, N.E.W.T.s, and lascivious advances every waking hour. He'd fended off Sirius Black and James Potter not a hour before having to wriggle out of a Black sandwich with visiting Bellatrix and her recently matriculated sister, Narcissa—and grabbier hands than those two, he'd never experienced.

Breathing heavily, Severus slid down the wall of Greenhouse #3, just far enough away from the Fanged Geraniums and the mandrake roots. He'd asked Professor Sprout for a key, and without a word, she'd given him one to a small door on the back, hidden under vines and whatnot. She'd just patted his shoulder and muttered something about having had the same thing happen in 1965 as she walked away.

A sudden rustling startled him and Severus' wand was out and pointing at the same path he'd torn his way through. Pale hands pushed the vines apart and Severus found himself face to face with Remus sodding, bloody gorgeous Lupin, the bane of his existence.

"Ah, Severus, didn't know you'd be here," Lupin said softly. He looked ragged, bruised and a bit bloody for real. Severus couldn't help himself and shot off a barely breathed-out Episkey . Lupin's smile firmed up as some of the scratches on his face disappeared. "Thank you for that. I was running through the Forbidden Forest, trying to get away from..." His hands fluttered in the air between them as he searched for words.

Severus interrupted him. "I know, Lupin. I've been living with it myself." Severus let his body fall back as he put up his wand. "You may as well sit for a spell." He looked anywhere but where Lupin was curling his lanky, fit body. "So...she gave you one, too, eh?"

"What? Oh, Professor Sprout is my godmother. I've had a key here ever since I began attending." Severus heard the crackle of parchment and then smelled the heavenly aroma of fresh-baked scones and clotted cream. He didn't turn his head until he realized the aroma was coming from somewhere near his right shoulder. When he tilted his head, there it was, a mouth-watering scone simply dripping with rich clotted cream and strawberry jam...in Lupin's strong, manly hand. "Please take it, Severus. I wouldn't feel right eating in front of you."

"Well, as long you're not eating me..." Severus said snidely even as he reached for the scone. It moved away slightly as Lupin cleared his throat. "Oh, all right, thank you, Lupin. Now can I have the ruddy thing?" That strong hand flinched a bit but came close enough for Severus to reach up and grab the scone from it.

They sat in an almost companionable silence as they ate their scones. The plants shook and their leaves rustled, but the sounds were soothing.

"So, did you get hit with PC's stick, too?" Lupin finally ventured to ask. When Severus turned his head, his eyes unerringly focused on the dab of strawberry jam in the crease of Lupin's lips. It took a second query before Severus could answer.

"Ah...PC?" he asked inanely.

"PC, you know, Prince Charming?" Lupin looked expectant and then grinned, as if they were sharing a wonderful secret. "My mum told me about a boy in her class, Digglesworth. He got touched by Prince Charming's sceptre and while it made his life a series of missed trysts and almost-molestations, he found his Snow White and was very happy in the end." Lupin leaned back and then slithered onto his side, head propped up on one arm.

"Do you take me for a fool, Lupin? Prince Charming's sceptre is a myth, a fairy tale, a bit of moonshine spun by lonely, simple people. No insult to your mother, of course." Severus inwardly rolled his eyes at that last bit.

"Wouldn't you want to find the love of your life, your helpmeet?" Lupin's voice was low and velvety, and something about it made Severus squirm.

"Oh, Merlin, no," Severus said in a rush. "How could I trust that they'd be there for me if they only knew me as this and not as I had always been? It's an air castle, Lupin, and we all know how sturdy those are." Severus crossed his arms over his chest, the tips of his ears hot.

"Severus," Lupin said softly as he reached out to lay one hand over Severus' right knee, "I would take you warts, potions stains, and anything else you deem properly you. You know I've always wanted you..." Lupin wriggled closer until he could lay his head where his hand had been. "All of you, Severus, all the prickly, pointy bits and the not-quite-proper ones, and even the mean, spiteful ones that you only save for real enemies."

Severus looked down into Lupin's eyes and suddenly felt hot, then cold. The hazel eyes were changing, growing more golden. Lupin's features were more wolfish as he lay on Severus' knee.

"Even Moony thinks you’re something special, Severus, he has for a long time..." Lupin rolled onto his hands and knees suddenly and stretched as if his skin was too tight.

It didn't take a genius to remember that the full moon was going to rise after midnight and the fact that it was eleven o'clock by Severus' reckoning didn't make him feel better. "Ah, Lupin, why are you really here?" he asked in tight voice.

"Did you know that Little Red Riding Hood was a Gryffindor, Severus?" Lupin responded, his eyes unfocused and miscoloured. He turned almost blindly toward Severus. "A boy who loved was touched with PC's stick, not knowing that Salazar Slytherin had crafted it as a prank." Lupin reared up and onto his knees and twisted suddenly, falling into Severus' lap, his nose pressing against Severus' throbbing carotid artery. He continued speaking against Severus' racing pulse. "Every thirteenth person touched by the damned thing became a werewolf, doomed to wander and kill and rend if they didn't find a match, a mate that would ground them, provide a tie to humanity...did you know you smell divine to me, like ripe berries and fresh baked bread and honey?" Lupin dragged his nose up Severus' throat and behind his ear, making Severus gasp as sharp teeth nipped it.

"Lupin...you won't hurt me..." Severus wished he believed that, but hearing the words out loud, he wasn't convinced.

"I don't want to hurt you, Severus, I want to fuck you until you're writhing around my cock, slick with the honey of my come, your body littered with love bites and sucking bruises, your teeth marking me, your nails scoring." Lupin arranged himself so he was straddling Severus' hips, his engorged cock pressing into Severus' surprisingly hard one. "And I see I'm not the only one who thinks this is a good idea."

Severus muttered a spell of his own devising and suddenly the tables were turned. He was on top and Lupin was on his back, cocks aligned, pressed together tightly. "I think it's a very good idea, Lupin, but you'll be the one on my cock, begging me to let you fall over the peak, to come so hard that you paint the walls with it..." Severus leaned down and spoke against Lupin's skin. "Did you never wonder why I became so pale, Lupin?" Sharper teeth scraped over Lupin's throat and he groaned, the sound making Severus shudder.

"You were the first one touched this time, weren't you?" Lupin wrapped his legs around Severus and pressed upward, seeking some pressure, something, anything.

Severus bit him and drank for a handful of seconds before answering. "Oh, yes, Lupin, I was...and I've been waiting for you..."

Clothes were dispatched with hands and spells, lube was created out of pots, a collection of leaves became a soft pallet and soon there was grunting and moaning and begging.

~oOo~

Severus turned his head and looked at the scraped and raw throat of his lover and sighed. "You'd think being a werewolf would be an advantage, Lupin."

"If you didn't treat me like a chew toy, then, yeah, maybe." Lupin—Remus—stretched and slid until his nose was at the juncture of Severus' throat and his shoulder. He licked the bite there and smiled against the skin as Severus bit back a whine. "Although, maybe being mutual chew toys is a good thing."

~oOo~

Peeves replaced Prince Charming's sceptre in its glass case. He floated around Dumbledore's office, oozing a bit over some of the stranger knick-knacks and deliberately stopping some of the others all together. He knew when he'd been manipulated, but being the seventh son of a seventh son—and once known as Edwin the Fair, a most charming prince—he understood just how much trouble one could stir up with his "stick". Peeves snickered and then sped away with a whoop. Somehow, he thought Dumbledore wouldn't be too happy with how he'd broken young Snape and healed young Lupin.

Master manipulators never like having their pawns turned from a preordained path. Peeves only laughed harder. What would Dumbledore do when he realized Peeves had charmed little perfect Evans and that trickster Potter? Peeves cackled and swooped through the walls, leaving only a gummy residue behind.

Finis