Hmm, not to pick a nit, but I don't believe I saw a warning for oven-door slamming. This is just said in the spirit of gentle concrit, to help you strengthen your work.
And, well--OK, since we're on the topic, this line: Now shut up and get your cloak strides perilously close to D/S. You know, a strongly dominant Snape could put a few souls off your writing in general, unless 'they are prepared' (sorry, couldn't resist)
But except for those two miniscule, really minor, glaring problems with your warning system, well done (or slightly overdone.....)!