*Applauds* Honest to God, I cannot believe you managed to use every one of those completely disparate prompts to tell a cohesive story without it being painfully obvious that was exactly what you were doing. But if I hadn't known that going in, I would have had no idea. Really well done.
Loved so many of the one-liners. I initially planned to c & p my favorites, but I kept finding more the longer I read. Though I confess from the pairing that I thought Snape's wife was going to end up being Winky. I couldn't imagine much he wouldn't do to inherit the finest library in the country on the art of brewing potions. And she was looking for a family...;D