InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Gibberish!"

webmistresses (webmistresses) wrote in severus_sighs,
@ 2013-02-16 09:02:00

Entry tags:

art, drabble, event: anti-valentine's day 2013, member: lemondropseven, member: starduchess, pairing: severus/harry, rating: g

War Sonnet 1 by starduchess and lemondropseven
Title: War Sonnet 1
Author: starduchess
Artist: lemondropseven
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: G
Word Count: 104
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. The characters and their worlds belong to their original writers and no copyright infringement or offense is intended. No money was made from this story.
Summary: War and Peace
A/N: Based loosely around prompt #5: Severus took a deep breath and closed his eyes, his heart breaking

War Sonnet 1

The paths our sorrows fly to reach their ends
o’er rocky mountains jetted to the skies,
transformed amongst the trees into hard guise,
as flows the streams throughout the lands,
collecting and depositing of sands
that run away and stay us only lies,
leave truth behind the iris of our eyes
that says all time bereft of love and friends.
Yet here our trails do dovetail into one,
when suns dispel affinity for gloom
as now we battle here against the doom,
and find our futures nary be undone
when both our spirits climb up and arise,
for burdens shared become our burdens gone.

(Post a new comment)

	bonfoi 2013-02-16 03:31 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, wow... What a poignant moment you two caught. Severus on his knees was not what I was expecting. Fantastic collaboration. Again, wow. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	starduchess 2013-03-17 09:41 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks! I was so ecstatic with how this came out. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

masterseverus
2013-02-16 03:42 pm UTC (link)

I woke up and saw this over morning coffee and was so enraptured, I didn't even finish the cup!
It is so rare for me to read any poetry pertaining to snarry, that I soaked this up for a long time. I am a lover of good poetry, so this was such a delight!
The desperation and resigned grief of one who has seen and done too much in life, is suddenly lifted with this one statement:
"for burdens shared become burdens gone"
Harry and Severus reach a pivotal moment when their paths dovetail into one and can share the burdens together.
Absolutely beautiful!
lemondropseven did an amazing job in capturing the moment when realisation hits that they are no longer alone. Their brushing of hands was tender and perfect. It sent chills down my spine.

Well done both! I hope there is a part II

(Reply to this) (Thread)

starduchess
2013-03-17 09:48 pm UTC (link)

OMG, this statement just totally made my weekend when it was posted. (Sorry it took so long for me to respond to posts.) It is so often that we have any poetry in fandom.

I enjoy writing poetry and playing with imagery, and sometimes it's actually easier for me to get ideas across that way. If you're interested, I've got several more pieces (at least one snarry, some other pairings, some very original (non fandom) pieces) here under my poetry tag> on LJ. Enjoy!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	bk7brokemybrain 2013-02-16 04:38 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, I love the hopeful tone, and the beautiful moment in the art! What a lovely surprise! "for burdens shared become our burdens gone." (Reply to this) (Thread)

	starduchess 2013-03-17 09:50 pm UTC (link)
	Thanks so much, dear! I loved coming up with this. One fact about sonnets is that they should start off with one tone or idea and then switch to another somewhere during the poem, so yes, I went from despair to hope in this one. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	starduchess 2013-02-16 05:05 pm UTC (link)
	LD7, thanks so much for illustrating this for me and Roo, especially on such short notice. I love the expressions on both their faces with Severus just so surprised at the unexpected offering. You've captured the turning point really well. Kudos! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	lemondropseven 2013-02-16 06:36 pm UTC (link)
	You're so welcome! I was happy to do it, the poem is gorgeous and I love it! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	lilyseyes 2013-02-16 05:15 pm UTC (link)
	I love the hopeful tone of the sonnet and how the art captures that hope. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	starduchess 2013-03-18 02:28 am UTC (link)
	Thanks so much for the compliment! In studying sonnets, one defining aspect is that there is always a turning point in the tone of the piece. So I played on a despair-to-hope theme, and LD7 captured that exact moment perfectly. (Reply to this) (Parent)

roozetter
2013-02-16 06:01 pm UTC (link)

I think this is amazing.

Starduchess -- The poem is so evocative, I immediately had images pop into my mind while reading. Lyrical and lovely, and I am normally not a poetry person. I'm so glad you contributed this, bb! <333

LD7 -- The amount of detail you put in this sketch just boggles me. I love the way their fingers are loosely entwined, and the expressions on their faces. Great job, bb!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	lemondropseven 2013-02-16 06:39 pm UTC (link)
	Aww, thanks, Roo. I'm glad you asked me to do it, I really loved the poem. Drawing is pretty easy with great inspiration. :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	starduchess 2013-03-18 02:11 am UTC (link)
	I was so happy to write it and put it into the fest. IMHO, there's not enough poetry in fandom and I wanted to make something different and original. I enjoy writing poems as they can speak in so many layers, especially the imagery. I'm glad it spoke to you so vividly. :) Thanks for getting LD7 on the artwork. She did a fantastic job interpreting the message. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	torino10154 2013-02-17 01:21 pm UTC (link)
	Great combination here. The illustration really brings out the emotion of the sonnet (or is it the other way around? LOL). Regardless, it's lovely. Great job. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	starduchess 2013-03-18 02:16 am UTC (link)
	Thanks, dear. The poem came first, and when I sent it to Roo for her input (as mod), she said she'd ask LD7 to draw something for it. I was thrilled with how well LD7 captured the theme of the sonnet -- despair turning to hope. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	gingertart50 2013-02-17 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	Gorgeous! Absolutely gorgeous. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	starduchess 2013-03-18 02:17 am UTC (link)
	Thanks, dear! It was nice to create something different for our beloved fest, and LD7 did a fantastic job drawing for it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	suzuki1969 2013-02-18 12:21 am UTC (link)
	That was just lovely. The tone and the rhythm of the sonnet waned the art. Wonderful! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	starduchess 2013-03-18 02:18 am UTC (link)
	Awww, thanks, dear. I'm so glad everyone liked the sonnet and LD7's fantastic art. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	wonderluck 2013-02-18 09:29 am UTC (link)
	Beautiful piece! Well done to you both. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	starduchess 2013-03-18 02:20 am UTC (link)
	Thanks, dear! We both enjoyed creating something different for the fest. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	suitesamba 2013-02-19 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	I really enjoyed this - the two pieces dovetailed so nicely together, just like our two heroes. The sonnet was so lyrical I found myself wanting to read it aloud. Lovely work! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	starduchess 2013-03-18 02:24 am UTC (link)
	Actually, I often read my poetry aloud while writing it, especially if I am constricted to a formal rhythm scheme such as the iambic pentameter of sonnets. I really enjoyed writing this, playing with the imagery and meanings, and LD7 did an awesome job with the drawble. Thanks for the compliments, dear! (Reply to this) (Parent)