An absolutely beautiful, moving piece. I am stunned by the emotional portrayal and Severus' rejection at the end, though it makes sense. But the story can't end here! I know Harry will not let this go. They finally came to see each other as they really are, and there's so much potential for them to explore.
Thanks for eliminating the Deathly Hallows from the plot. That was an extra complication that I don't think the final book really needed. The Horcrux hunt was enough of a story in itself. Interesting that you kept certain elements the same, although changing how and where they happen, such as Harry viewing the pensieve memories (I adored your writing style for that!) and Voldemort mentioning their sameness as abused, abandoned boys of Hogwarts. I like the confrontation change you made to the hallway scene with Minerva, how she grudgingly accepted Snape on Harry's word, and yay for Luna! She's always more perceptive than people give her credit.
Your writing style was fabulous, and I agree that every word was chosen perfectly. I do hope you make the sequel (and if you need any help with that, brainstorming and what-not, let me know).