Entry tags:

event: anti-valentine's day 2011, ficlet, member: inamac, pairing: none, rating: g

The Perfect Gift by inamac
Title: Perfect Gift
Author: inamac
Characters: Severus, Lily, James Potter
Rating: G
Word Count: 680
Summary Severus hits Diagon Alley - Diagon Alley hits back... Prompt 7 – In a room full of lovers, Severus felt distinctly out of his depth.
Disclaimer: Anything you recognise belongs to JKR. Everything else – doesn't.
A/N: Yes, I twisted the prompt. It is a room full of very enthusiastic lovers.



Snape should not have been in Diagon Alley, but he was desperate. There had to be something that he could give to Lily for Valentine's Day that would demonstrate his feelings for her. Something better than Potter could come up with for all his Galleons.

He wandered the length of the street, looking into all the windows, and becoming increasingly frustrated. Despite the merchandise on offer there was nothing that would convey the precise nature of his affection and contrition to his childhood friend.

Fortescue's was offering 'Never-Melt' heart-shaped ice lollies. He dismissed them as 'too obvious'. Love should last longer than an ice-cream. Similar consideration disposed of Delice and Weatherby's chocolate Snuggle Selection ("Snuggle Your Way Into Her Heart!"). Snape's contemptuous snort drew glares from Mrs Weatherby who was arranging the boxes in the window.

He hesitated rather longer in front of Scribbulus Everchanging Inks where a display of elegant flamingo-quill pens scribbled away at extempore love poems, but passed on, shuddering at the trite banality of the results.

'Cyneen's Kettles and Caldrons' had a 'Special Valentine's Offer' on heart-shaped silver and gold cauldrons ("Ideal for Brewing Love Potions!") and for a moment he contemplated going in and explaining exactly why such a gift was likely to have the opposite effect to the one intended. Had none of these fools ever heard of Skrimpling's Law of Magical Excess?

He was grateful that it was impossible to get near the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies for lovesick boys drooling over the latest model broomstick and discussing whether it would be all right to get their girlfriends to contribute towards the cost in lieu of a Valentine gift. He was not surprised to see Potter's unruly black hair among the crowd.

Flourish and Blott's, further along, was equally crowded, but this time Snape braved the crush to step inside in the hope that there might be some suitable book which he could send to Lily. But the rot seemed to have spread even to the Potions section where a display of a new abridged edition of Aurelia Blogwort's classic text on Love Philtres, Distillations and Potions had been repackaged under the title of Passionate Philtres in a hot pink cover with a half-naked witch dancing provocatively around (yes!) a steaming heart-shaped cauldron. He flipped through the astonishingly badly proof-read text, noting that the misprint of 'srewt' for 'newt' on Page 16 would, if followed, mean that the resulting lubricant would indeed 'increase sensation and performance' – if the sensation desired was that of uncontrollable itching and the performance the bursting of suppurating boils. He snapped the book shut and strode from the shop in a seethe of annoyance. His undirected steps took him into the pet shop opposite, where the 'Special Valentine Reduction' on Little Owls almost tempted him to purchase one as a gift for Lily – before he reflected that her parents (and her sister) were unlikely to welcome a new pet in their home over the holidays.

The shop assistant nodded sagely when he raised this objection, and, reluctant to lose a sale, drew him through into the rear storage room where he found himself surrounded by dozens of white rabbits, half wearing pink ribbons around their necks and half in blue, and all, in defiance of the season, literally going at it like rabbits.

And that was when, in a room full of lovers, Snape decided that as far as finding a suitable Valentines gift for Lily, he was decidedly out of his depth. There was, perhaps, a much better way for him to spend his Galleons on an appropriate gift. A much more Slytherin way. He made his excuses to the shop assistant and retraced his steps.

o0o

At breakfast in the Great Hall that Valentine's day morning James Potter was not at all surprised to receive a dozen or so owls bearing gifts and cards. But he never did find out which of his numerous girlfriends sent the copy of Passionate Philtres with the heart-shaped bookmark carefully inserted at Page 16.

~The End~