I opened my mouth to reply when... A mighty burp erupted from my mouth. And it wasn't a dainty little feminine burp. No it was a massive burp that caused everyone in the restaurant to look at me.
"You ever just wish a hole would open up and swallow you and save you from further embarrassment?" I asked mortified beyond belief.
"Oh wait! I can." I replied and without another word a portal opened at my feet and I feel into it and was gone.