_sea_dog_ (_sea_dog_) wrote in sector9, @ 2013-06-28 21:05:00 |
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Who: Graham and sydni
What: Reunion after the fight. Or, sydni has a computer problem.
Where: Graham’s office
When: Friday before this
sydni had been thinking a lot about what had happened on Tuesday. Her chats with Charlie and Kim had really helped, but she still felt like she wasn’t ready to face Graham just yet. He had been so angry, and she just couldn’t imagine that, that kind of anger would disappear so quickly. The brunette still didn’t really know how to convince her friend that she wasn’t some evil, conniving bitch, but the consensus seemed to be time and patience.
Of course, the Universe had other plans for her. Her laptop froze up while she was working. so much that she couldn’t get it to reboot, so she had turned it off. And now it wouldn’t turn on. In panic mode, she had tried a number of things that did not involve her going to see Graham (like removing the battery and so on), but it was just a really lovely paperweight right now. The thought of losing her work made her panic, too, though she knew the system backed everything up on the network; it didn’t really keep her from panicking, though.
Resigned to the fact that she had no choice but to seek out Graham, sydni headed to Graham’s office, making one quick stop on her way there. If she was going to have to see him anyway, she may as well try to work on getting their friendship back on track.
***
Graham was still in a shitty mood. Not just because of what happened with Sydni, but because of the conversation with Kara that followed. Women were fucking IMPOSSIBLE! He didn’t understand them at all. He was starting to think he may just need to avoid them as much as possible for the rest of his life. The lack of sex would suck, but he’d probably get far more accomplished and be able to breathe easier knowing drama would stay at bay.
Or not.
He was busy rebuilding a CPU for one of the language specialists when Sydni walked in. Graham looked up at her and sighed. He was about to tell her that he was too busy to discuss their fight, but then he noticed the laptop in her hands. Maybe she’d come for tech help alone. He could handle that. Maybe. “What’s wrong with it?” he asked, trying to stay focused on work.
---
sydni stood in the doorway until Graham noticed her. Mostly because she still uncertain about talking to Graham. Even about work. However, the neutral question settled it - she couldn’t just leave now. And he didn’t sound angry.
“It won’t turn on. It froze and I turned it off. Now it won’t turn on.” she took the few steps over to his desk and gave him the laptop. she also had a thin, oversized book in her hands, but that she held onto.
***
Graham took the laptop when it was handed to him. He set it down on his desk after clearing a bit of space. Immediately, he began tinkering. In silence. But as the work continued, he asked a few related questions about what she’d been doing when it crashed, if any messages popped up, sounds, even smells. Eventually, he determined the hard drive was shot. “Probably just a lemon. It happens sometimes. Lifespan isn’t guaranteed, not even for electronics. We can make them all equally, but some just crap out sooner than others. Your work should be safe though. It was connected to the network when it died, so everything’s been backed up to the cloud. If you have some time... I can get a new one setup for you.”
---
sydni was quiet, too, watching Graham work, finally perching herself on the edge of another chair in the office. she answered Graham’s questions, but didn’t interrupt otherwise. she was anxious and didn’t look too happy when he explained the problem. “I can’t do any other work until I have a new one, so yes, I have time. Thank you, Graham.”
There was a pause, but then she went ahead with the other reason why she was here. “Afterward, I have something to show you, if you don’t mind.” she gestured a bit with the book she was clutching to her chest. she was holding the front cover to her chest so only the back was visible to him - a hardcover, with a shiny, textured material meant to look like leather.
***
“Alright. Shouldn’t take too long.” He got up and walked down an aisle of shelving that was filled with all sorts of electronic stuff. Boxes with nothing but parts, but also some complete CPUs, monitors, and laptops. He grabbed one and then headed back to his desk. Graham set to work immediately on getting it programmed to meet her needs.
“Show me?” he asked, looking up at what she was holding. It was a book. Graham looked suspicious. “Uh... sure.” Fuck. Whatever she wanted to show him in the book was not related to work, which meant it was likely to involve some discussion of their argument. He didn’t want to deal with that right now. But, he didn’t have a valid reason for saying no.
---
sydni watched as Graham went and selected a laptop to set up for her. she was very good at quietly waiting for someone while they worked. she was good at being quiet and still - she was a people watcher, after all, observing more often than interacting.
The brunette nodded to his agreement. she could see that suspicious look, but she hoped that what she had to show him was the right thing. It would let him get to know her a little. Maybe.
Once Graham was done with his work, she traded the book for her new laptop. It was a yearbook. Her senior yearbook, of course. “Look at the signatures,” she told him, knowing that it probably didn’t make much sense. If he really paid attention, it would be evident that the signatures in that book were almost exclusively teachers wishing her well. Only a few were from her peers.
***
Graham sighed again, partly avoiding this new topic. “You need to sign in with your username and password before I can continue,” he instructed. There was still more for him to do with the laptop before it was ready for her to take it back to her office or apartment.
While she did that, he satisfied her request by looking through the yearbook a bit. He didn’t pay close attention to <i>who</i> signed the book. Just that there were a lot of signatures. Graham hadn’t bought a yearbook. He didn’t want one. His picture was terrible, and he hated most of his classmates. Looked like Sydni had a lot of people sign hers. Figured.
---
it didn’t take a genius to see that Graham was trying to brush her off again. still, she nodded and did as instructed, though she was only partially paying attention; she wanted to see his reaction. Which... wasn’t really anything.
“Did you see who signed?” she asked after several moments of watching him have no reaction to what she was trying to show him.
***
“A lot of people,” he said while handing it back and reclaiming her laptop to continue working on it. He didn’t get what she was trying to show him. What was the point of this yearbook prop? How did it relate to their conversation the other night, because it clearly had <i>something</i> to do with that argument. This wasn’t random.
---
sydni frowned. she couldn’t tell if he hadn’t noticed her point or if he was just continuing to brush her off. she was quiet again for a long time while he worked, not certain what to do about this development. Finally, she explained herself quietly. “They’re almost all teachers, Graham. I wasn’t popular. I was kind of invisible,” she admitted. she felt like a bit of a loser admitting that, no matter that she was well-respected in her former field of study, and quite successful.
***
“Invisible isn’t so bad,” Graham said dismissively as he kept working. His fingers moved at lightning speed through all sorts of code. Each piece of tech at Sector 9 came through his hands first, and he made sure it was all individualized to the need of the primary user. He’d worked with Sydni when she first arrived, and his solid memory stored all the information about her preferences.
---
“It was then,” she contested. But her objection was only half-hearted. she thought that somehow he’d see that she wasn’t this supermodel, adventurous, brave seductress he seemed to have built her up to be. Apparently not. she didn’t know how to tell him how alone she had felt, how the loneliness had nearly made her take her own life only a couple of years later when she was in college. she couldn’t tell him now - not if he was going to just brush it off. It was much too personal, too sensitive, to be rebuked like that. And yes, she could guess that it had been different for him. Being invisible must seem a lot better than being tormented. But sydni just wanted him to know that she wasn’t so together as he seemed to think.
she continued to remain quiet while he worked. she didn’t really know what else to say.
***
Graham huffed in frustration. He didn’t want to deal with this now. Or ever, really. He just wanted to be done with it. Maybe the only way to make that happen was to lash out. Maybe then she’d leave him alone. “I would have <i>loved</i> to be invisible,” he said in an angry tone. Clearly, Graham was targeted. Repeatedly. Bullies refused to leave him alone, no matter how hard he tried to stay out of their way, they always found him and punished him for simply existing. “I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, Sydni. I don’t know why you’re pushing this. So stop tiptoeing around it and just tell me.”
---
sydni winced at his angry tone. she didn’t want to make him angry. And she wanted to tell him that it had been hard for her. But this wasn’t about who had it worse. she just wanted him to know that it hadn’t been easy for her either, that she wasn’t as socially secure and competent as he thought she was.
“i...” Pause. “It seemed like you think that I have it all together. I wanted you to know that I don’t. I don’t make friends easily. I’m not outgoing. I’m too scared most of the time to even talk to new people. I don’t even like to be touched most of the time because it’s too awkward.” Again, she looked anxious. But only because she had really just divulged some really personal information. He could just toss it away like everything else. she hoped he didn’t.
***
Graham was having trouble absorbing this information. Maybe because he was consumed by his past. It was at the forefront of thought right now, making it hard to process the present. He leaned forward with elbows on his desk, fingers massaging his temples. “Did you go to prom?” he asked while sighing at the same time.
---
sydni pressed her lips together. Then shook her head. No. she didn’t go to prom. she had no one to go with. she had friends who went, yes. Who even tried to convince her to come. But they all had dates and she didn’t. so she didn’t go. Her dad tried to make it up to her, taking her out for the evening and treating her like a princess, but she missed that rite of passage.
“No. I didn’t go,” she admitted, looking down at her hands.
***
“I did,” he stated without emotion at first. “Or at least I showed up. My <i>date</i> wanted to meet there. She told me it was because her dad was really strict, so she was sneaking out to attend... and that it would be better to meet at the dance. So I did what she asked, because I was so crazy excited that one of the most popular girls in school, who was in my Chemistry class and often borrowed my notes, suddenly saw me as more than just a nerd who helped her get good grades. She told me I was cute. She said I was <i>different</i> in a <i>good</i> way. She said I treated her better than her last boyfriend.” The build up gathered more and more venom in his tone. “She was at the prom when I arrived, like she said she would be. But she was already wearing those fucking flowers on her wrist. Not the ones I had bought for her. The ones her <i>boyfriend</i> bought for her. Not only was she standing there at the entrance waiting for me. But her boyfriend was there too. So were all her friends. All of them so fucking eager to mock my stupidity. My naive belief that someone like her could like someone like me. I’ve never seen people so joyous over another’s humiliation. They had a grand old time egging my car too. The piece of shit I drove because my parents weren’t rich, and I had to buy it myself. I guess I should be grateful that no one poured pig blood on me. They should be grateful too, because I didn’t have much control over my abilities then.” He could have really hurt or even killed someone by accident. They were all lucky he was so upset that he immediately fled and the damage he caused was all to inanimate objects.
---
sydni listened quietly as he spoke. Attentive, and appalled that someone could treat another human being that way. Her dad had always been amazed at how she could continue to expect the good in people when she knew from him all the evil that there was. It wasn’t that he told her all sorts of horror stories and scared her or anything, but when you live with a cop, you become aware of all the bad that there is out in the world. still, that anyone could have devised and followed through on something like that was terrible. It made no sense. What was the gain? It was pointless, and that made it worse, somehow.
When he was done talking, she was quiet for a moment longer and then said very sincerely, “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I don’t know where those people got off thinking they had the right to treat you that way. I’m not one of those people, though. And you’re not that same person you were in high school, either, I bet. I’m not entirely the same. I’m still pretty quiet and introspective, but not nearly as much as I was then. I’m stronger, too. Maybe you’re still a little nerdy,” she grinned a little, “but I like that. And no one could call you a loser now. You’re skilled at what you do, and other people recognize that. I mean, you run the tech for the whole agency, right? That’s pretty powerful.”
***
“It doesn’t matter if I’m different!” he nearly yelled. “They had no more reason to treat me that way then than they would now. Just because of what I do, or the money I make, or a million other factors. I’m the same at my core. And I’m betting they are too. I’m sure they’re still assholes and bullies. I don’t think people grow out of that. I know they don’t. Because I continue to run into jerks like that. How often do you think people come to see me just to <i>chat</i>? They come here because their shit breaks. They come here because they need my skills, but they don’t give a shit about me as a person. Just like that bitch didn’t care about me. She only cared enough to manipulate me into boosting her grades, and when she didn’t need me anymore, she fucking destroyed me. I don’t know you well enough to know that you won’t do the same fucking thing.”
---
sydni nearly jumped out of her skin when he raised his voice like that. she hadn’t meant to make it worse! she listened, open-mouthed as Graham ranted about how he was still treated. When he was done, she looked around uncertainly, like she wasn’t quite sure what to do. she wasn’t. she fiddled with her rings for a moment, then tucked some hair behind her ear. “I wasn’t saying they ever had the right to treat you like that.” Pause. “Just to clarify. And I came to you just to chat. The first time. I wanted to try to get to know you. And you don’t know I won’t do the same thing. Not yet. I just need to know if you’re willing to wait and see, to give me a chance. I told you about what it was like for me in high school - and now - because I wanted you to know it’s not so easy for me, either.”
The brunette looked down at her hands again, then back up at Graham’s angry expression. “Are you willing to take a chance on me?”
***
“You didn’t want to get to know me. Charlie wanted you to get to know me. And who the fuck knows why.” Just like that prom bitch’s boyfriend set everything up. It was really his idea, as Graham would come to discover later. He was now convinced this was Charlie’s idea. Charlie was playing some sort of game. Maybe because of Ava.
---
“For goodness sake, Graham, that’s not the case! Charlie was being a friend to me. I was lonely. He made a suggestion that I try to make friends with someone. It’s hard with Charlie and starbuck and Kim. They have their kids and I don’t always feel like I belong around them. I think you have it wrong. He thinks pretty highly of you to have suggested you in the first place.” Well, thought. The way she and Graham had been fighting, Charlie had probably changed his mind.
***
Graham was being paranoid, but he couldn’t see it that way. He was terrified. It all felt too familiar. “I refuse to be humiliated again!” he said while slapping his hand on his desk. He stood up a second later and handed her the new laptop. “So you can tell Charlie to fuck off. And if he wants to kick my ass for it, so be it. I’d recover from that a lot faster.”
---
sydni stared at Graham as he continued to rage. Baffled, she took the new laptop automatically and shook her head. “You know, you get back what you put out into the universe. You’re saying no one comes to just talk to you. You ever go to anyone else? Just to talk? The universe is giving you what you want. You want to be left alone. so everyone stays away from you. It doesn’t have to be like that. I’m sorry I upset you.”
Not knowing really what else to say, she picked up her yearbook, too, and turned to leave.
***
He did want to be left alone. At least when it came to real life relationships. They were too messy. Online relationships were easier, so he fostered them. Gaming relationships were nice too. Because they just talked about gaming and played. He didn’t have to worry about being judged for anything other than his skills. Graham was sure to become even more reclusive as a result of this. He let Sydni leave without responding to her words.