She must have picked up the phone a dozen times in the past half hour, but she couldn't quite bring herself to dial his number. How long had it been? Three months? Four? The realization that she couldn't remember stung more than she wanted to admit. Certainly, Nikola had never been the most reliable, but he had been there when she had needed him. They all had. Yet, she couldn't allow herself to accept their support, had shut them out along with the rest of the world.

In a fit of frustration, she threw her cell phone at the sofa, crossing her arms and anxiously pacing the line between her kitchen and living room. Why did it seem her caseload was always lacking when she most needed the distraction? The soft buzzing of her phone brought her attention back to the offending object, the screen announcing she had '1 new message.' She doubted its importance.

Needing something to quell the sudden fidgeting, Helen moved to the kitchen, filling the tea kettle and setting it on the stove, the familiar task calming her enough to think clearly. What was it that strange man had said to her in the diner the night before? She would never know, if she didn't try.

Though the reasons still eluded her, his advice refused to be ignored. Perhaps she had been spending too much time alone. She only wished the spirit both he and Nikola had claimed to see in her wasn't so tarnished, that something of that boldness still existed beyond the courtroom.

She wished she could be that woman again.