REPOST
WHO: Sirimus (tryin' out a different spelling in the vain hope that no one will realise we are thread hors)
WHEN: Wednesday afternoon after classes
WHERE: Gryffindor common room
WHAT: God only knows. NOT SEX THO probably



At first, it had seemed like talking to Sirius about what Regulus had said was a good idea. There was still a slight shadow over their relationship, as far as Remus was concerned, and maybe talking it out would be a good thing, right? Of course, he quickly found he didn't know how to begin, much less how to continue, and gave up that idea. For all that he had been a snarky little bitch to Regulus, the things the younger boy had said were very bothersome; surely they would bother Sirius even more. All was forgiven, right? They were friends again, teasing about ninjas and wrestling and definitely not fancying one another.

Now if only Sirius would quit bothering him about it!

Eventually, Remus had given up pleading with him to forget it and come to the commons to write an essay. It was a legitimate essay, though it wasn't due for another week and a half, and he had more urgent schoolwork to be doing, but he always found writing about Defense Against the Dark Arts calming for some reason. It was his favourite class, and his best one. He only hoped that Sirius would leave him alone. Hope springs eternal, right?

Hope springs ridiculous, if anything. Of course Sirius wasn't going to leave him alone! The surest way to pique the boy's interest in something was to refuse to talk about it; after six years, Remus had to know that. Besides, there were reasons why Sirius's animagus form was a dog, and one of those was his refusal to relinquish anything. Ever.

Remus had stopped answering him in the journal, and that left him only one choice- to come bounding into the Gryffidor common room, spot Remus, and go hurtling toward him to slam his hands down in the middle of the essay. "Why, hello there, Mssr Lupin."

Remus jumped about a foot, though he really should have seen that coming, and offered Sirius a weak smile. "Mssr Black, how lovely to see you again," he trilled nervously. "As you can see, I'm hopelessly swamped at the moment, so if you wanted to discuss, for instance, transfiguring nunchuks for our Halloween costumes, I'm afraid it will have to wait."

Hopefully the mention of ninjas would get them back onto that much safer subject.

Sirius glanced down at the paper beneath his hands, then looked back up to smirk at Remus. "I take Defense too, Mssr Lupin. This is not due until next Thursday. You are not swamped. You are not even muddied. And I am not going to be distracted by ninjas. However much I love them."

Damn, there went that excuse. "I'm getting a head start," Remus tried. "Because I didn't feel like studying for - Arithmancy." He'd nearly said Potions, which was what he actually had an exam in soon, but Potions was far too closely connected to this whole debacle to mention at a time like this, and anyway Sirius had no idea if he had an exam coming up in Arithmancy or not.

He blinked innocently up at Sirius and added, "And I can't imagine what you think I'm trying to distract you from, Mssr Black."

Sirius made a noise of frustration and threw up his hands, stomping over to a different chair and hurling himself into it. "Remus. Are you trying to drive me mad? Is that what this is? It's working. I'm going mad. And I'm going to see to it that you go mad too. I am giving you five minutes, Moony, and then I'm going to start singing, and I'm not going to stop again until you tell me what that note was about. Do you want me to sing, Remus?"

Remus mentally flailed for some way to prevent Sirius from singing at him, because that thought was truly horrifying, without actually telling him what he'd written.

Obviously the best expedient was to make something up, something innocuous, and claim that was what the note was about. The trouble was, he couldn't think of a damn thing that Sirius would believe.

So that left...that left...

Reverse psychology.

Remus gave Sirius his most adorable look and said, in a low, throaty voice approaching but certainly not a purr (because that would be flirting and he wasn't doing that anytime soon, no sir, not after last night), "Yes, Sirius, sing to me."

Unexpected.

Unexpected, but not insurmountable. "All right," he said with a sigh, before bursting into very tuneless, very loud, very improvised song.

"Oooh Mooooony! Has a secret that he won't tell meeeeeee! It is nothing short of a tragedyyy! Buuut I will survive...and SIIIING!"

Stopping, he raised an eyebrow at the other boy. "Ready to tell me yet? I can improvise all day."

Merlin, that was painful. Remus bent his head to his essay and steadfastly penned another line, looking up when Sirius stopped singing and trying not to show his relief.

"You have a true genius for improvisational lyrics, my friend, and such a gorgeous voice," he said in the same tone as before. Maybe if he could just freak Sirius out enough, this would bloody well end already.

Sirius sighed. "I don't see why you want to make this hard on yourself. But all right. Ooooh Mooooooony! Thinks he's good at reverse psychology! But really he should just TELL MEEEE! Or else I will have to keep on...AND SIIIING!"

He paused again to give the other boy a chance to end this.

Okay, what imbecile had taught Sirius about reverse psychology?!

...in retrospect, probably Remus himself.

"Second verse was better than the first," he said sweetly. He thought his eardrums were bleeding.

"Ooooh Mooooony! Is really sort of a dummy! Because I already said I wouldn't get freaky! But he won't tell meeee! So now everyone's got to suffer while I SIIIIING!" Having abandoned anything remotely resembling rhythm, Sirius stood up and walked back over to Remus's spot while he 'sung.'

Remus laid his quill down and watched Sirius approach with mixed trepidation and thoughtfulness. There had to be some way, something, that he could do to take Sirius's mind off of this.

...and maybe there was.

He swallowed hard, because this was a risky plan and depended heavily on timing and body language and not panicking, and said quietly, "Swear you won't get freaky?"

"Yes," Sirius said quickly, sounding more than a little relieved. It wasn't like he enjoyed listening to his own singing any more than anyone else did. "Already promised, didn't I. C'mon, Moony, spit it out."

Remus flushed at the mere idea of what he was about to do, because it was unbelievably stupid, and yet somehow better than telling the truth. He stared down at the essay and said, very softly and very rapidly, "It's come to my attention that - by which I mean to say - it's entirely possible - and I think - that I might - fancy boys."

And he would just say he'd been joking later on, after he'd discomfited Sirius enough, and things would be normal, and maybe the shock would even make Sirius forget to start badgering him again after that.

There was utter silence for perhaps a minute as Sirius blinked rapidly, processing what Remus had just said.

Wha- why- but- why would Remus decide to tell him this now- where had- what- had he noticed last night, when- but-

And then something clicked into place, and his eyes narrowed. "You are lying," he said softly, almost a hiss. "You are lying to me to shut me up. Honestly, Remus. Not on. Just because I have a fancy for Stubby sodding Boardman doesn't mean you can use gay to distract me."

Remus had said, in the journals, that he had spoken to someone. And he obviously had not been speaking to anyone about his sexuality, not recently, and if he had, he wouldn't have used that as a segue into this little revelation to Sirius. Sirius wasn't actually stupid, he just acted like it most of the time.

And now he was annoyed again, as evidenced by his stomping back to the other chair.

Well, that hadn't worked.

Perhaps the most distressing thing was that he wasn't actually lying. It would have been one thing if he had told Sirius himself that he was, but to be called a liar for something that was true even if it wasn't the truth at hand -

That was sodding frustrating.

"Well, who doesn't fancy Stubby Boardman," he said just loud enough to be overheard by Sirius. Which he did, rather. But not because he and Sirius bore a striking resemblance. Definitely not that.

Sirius's arms were crossed over his chest and he was pouting rather fiercely. He remained that way for a minute or two, then hopped up again.

"You know what? If you're that desperate not to tell me, fine. I'll go away. Do your silly essay. If you do get up the bollocks to tell me whatever's really bothering you, let me know, ok? Otherwise you can just keep letting it drive you barmy all by your lonesome, and I won't keep trying to get it out of you to make you feel better. All right? See you later, Remus." He started for the portrait hole.

Remus knew his friend well enough to realise that this wasn't going to stop. Sirius would just go off and pout for awhile and then take to harassing him again. And fighting again so soon could not be good for them, and...

He made an incoherent sound of distress and put his head down on the table miserably. It couldn't really be better to say it, though. Besides which, he'd proven often enough in the journal that he couldn't say it.

Sirius heard the noise and made the mistake of glancing back at Remus over his shoulder. Well, hell. He couldn't leave him looking like that.

Striding back over, he put what he hoped was a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder. "C'mon, Moony. It can't possibly be as bad as you think it is, yeah? I mean we've already had our epic fight for the year, so that's all over with and you don't need to worry about it. Yeah? Just tell me. I can handle it, I'm a strong lad." He gave a jokey grin in case Remus looked up.

Sirius's touch was strangely comforting, and Remus steeled himself, trying to work out once again how to say this. He didn't look up, because he knew he couldn't say it if he had to see how Sirius took it.

"I - that is - there was - your - Regulus," he said, and then paused, trying to work out where to go from there.

"...my Regulus?" Sirius asked, sounding more than a bit confused by that particular turn of phrase. "There was my Regulus? I don't have a- what did he do? Did he say something nasty to you? Merlin, the little bastard isn't content with Lily, he's gotta go after you too- don't worry, I'll kill 'im-" His hand tightened on Remus's shoulder in reaction. Regulus. Ruining things, as usual. Upsetting Remus. Not on!

Remus shook his head wordlessly. Of course Sirius would take that all wrong. He groped after appropriate words and finally said, in the same broken-up, confused manner, "No - he - it's not - he was just - and I - he said - it's fine."

"No, it's not," Sirius said quickly, moving around to sit down next to Remus without taking the hand off his shoulder. "It's not fine. You can't just let it go when people are bastards to you, Moony, especially when it's bugging you this much. What'd he say, then? You'd better just tell me all of it so I can decide what sort of thrashing he needs, exactly."

"He isn't the one who needs a thrashing," Remus said vehemently. As much of a bastard as Regulus Black was, his accusations and revelations had hit home hard. The implied comparison of Remus to Walburga Black was...well, horrifying.

"Huh?" Sirius said, cocking his head to the side in confusion while he stared at Remus. "That- what? Did- you're not a prefect anymore, who's he telling tales about? I'll have you know, I haven't dunked him in a toilet in years."

He had absolutely no idea where this might be going. The idea that Regulus even knew what had happened- much less cared- hadn't crossed his mind.

Remus shook his head again, completely incapable of cluing Sirius in. It was sort of amusing - he was supposed to be the smart one, the one with a vocabulary, but he went all to pieces in situations like these. "He's not - telling tales. Or rather - he is - but - he said - I - I'm sorry."

"Why would he apologise to you?" Sirius asked, exasperated. "Has he done something recently? Christ, Remus, you've got to tell me these things, I know he's not my sodding brother anymore or whatever but I can still shut him up, yeah?"

Remus shook his head. "No, Sirius, I'm sorry. He said - said - I just - I didn't mean - I'm sorry, alright? You don't have to shut him up, he's not - I mean, he is - but it's not - his fault. I'm not making any sense. This is why I didn't want to talk about it, I can't even - it's so - Sirius." He finally looked at his friend, eyes pleading to be let off the hook.





Sirius shook his head, but took the opportunity of Remus's looking up to catch and hold his gaze. "You can so even. Just say what he said to you, all right?" He paused to sigh. "Look, if you don't tell me, I'm going to have to go ask him. I really don't want to do that, Moony." It was bad enough that every conversation he had with his little brother over the journals turned into a hideous confrontation; having it turn into that in person would just...it would hurt, a lot, if he was being honest.

But goddammit, Regulus was going to leave his sodding friends alone.



It was even harder to say things like this while looking at Sirius, but Remus couldn't take his eyes away. "He found out - I don't know how - what I did - and he said - about the - and - I didn't understand, I didn't mean - I'm sorry - I didn't know." And it was the sort of thing he bloody well should have known, that was the hardest part. Even if Sirius had never said directly, he should have inferred, knowing what he did of Walburga Black, the kinds of things she would do to her children.



Poor Remus; Sirius still didn't get it. In fact, he was more confused than ever. He found out? How would he have- "Lily," he muttered. Lily, obviously, who was apparently not just tutoring Regulus, but telling him things, things that were none of his sodding business, things he hadn't wanted anyone to know!

He shook his head quickly; he could get into it with Evans later. For now, he still didn't know what Regulus had said. It sounded- it sounded almost like Regulus had yelled at Remus, over the whole thing, but obviously that was daft. That was wishful thinking, was what that was, the desperate desire for his brother to still sodding care. Which he didn't. Regulus had made that very clear, both on the day he'd left and every day thereafter.

"You didn't know what, Moony?" he asked, as gently as he could manage around his irritation at Lily and growing anger at himself, that he was even thinking things like maybe-Regulus-stood-up-for-me. Bloody mad, that was. Stupid. And even if he had, he didn't need his stupid little brother's help, especially not against Remus, who was apparently so upset over whatever had happened.



Stricken speechless again by how purely awful what he had done was, Remus cast about for something else to say, some way to dig himself out of this hideous hole. He didn't even have the words to stand up for poor Lily, because really, who else could have told Regulus? He hadn't, Sirius obviously hadn't, James wouldn't...

Finally he managed to say, "I'm sorry. He said - he said - I don't deserve you." Well, really he'd said that none of the Marauders deserved Sirius, but it had hurt too much and struck too close to home for Remus to remember that.



That got an incredulous snort from Sirius. "Are you sure you didn't dream this conversation?" That probably wasn't the most sensitive thing in the world to say, but really. That was absurd. "Or- excuse me, maybe I heard that wrong. My brain had a crazy moment, sorry. He said what?"

He shook his head and leaned back a little. "And stop saying you're sorry, Moony. We've been through this, you're sorry, I get it, it's ok. It's over. I thought we were good, yeah?"



Remus rolled his eyes. "You heard me," he said softly. He wasn't going to repeat it.

"And we are good," he insisted, more to himself than to Sirius. "We're good, we're friends, we're fine. Ninjas. All that. Yes."



"Well, Remus, it's a well-documented fact that the Blacks are clinically insane," Sirius pointed out, sounding more than a bit frustrated. "And we have some very good evidence of that here, since even if he did say that, it's a daft thing for him to say, since I am nothing but a blood traitor to him and you are, actually, the definition of what a blood traitor deserves. So even so it was a barmy thing for him to say, and he was probably just tormenting you."

Not that that sounded especially like Regulus; whatever Sirius's little brother was, gratuitously cruel he was not. But the whole thing made absolutely no sense any other way.



Remus laughed a bit, harshly. "That puts purebloods in a whole new light. Blood traitors deserve werewolves now?" And okay, that didn't make much sense, because it wasn't like Regulus knew, hardly anyone did - but still.

He sighed. "I don't think he was tormenting me," he said softly. He really did think Regulus had meant every word he said, which was very weird.



"He doesn't know you're a werewolf," Sirius snapped, his eyes narrowing. "And that's not what I meant, and you know it. What I meant was, in his eyes I'm no better than you lot, so of course I 'deserve' you."

He carded a hand through his hair, tugging a bit on his fringe, totally frustrated. "Why are you listening to him, Remus? He's- look. He's an idiot. He's just an idiot. He's the sort of idiot who chooses all the Black nonsense. I mean, he likes sodding Walburga. He's madder than a hatter and twice as stupid. So don't worry about what he thinks, ok? It's complete bollocks. Trust me. Bollocks."

Privately, he still thought that Regulus must have been trying to bother Remus. Why else would he say something like that? And Remus was too upset to be making it up, not that he would to begin with.



"Yes, but...he said we don't deserve you." Remus shook his head a bit to clear it. It was silly to get all worked up over this shite. The Marauders were practically family, and no one, especially not Regulus Black, could come between them.

Remus shuddered at the mention of Walburga, but he was calmer now. It really had helped to get it out in the open. It was strange for Sirius to be so very right. At least, it seemed like it should be; in reality, he was right an awful lot of the time.

"I know it is. It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have said anything."



"Yeah, well, if anything that's an insult to me," Sirius said. Which actually made a lot of sense. Made things a lot clearer, that notion. "You're too good for me, like. Which- whatever. Either way, it's bollocks. He doesn't have any idea what he's talking about. Honestly, like he's some big expert on what everyone deserves. He believes all the blood purity shite, what does he know? Nothing. And certainly not anything about you, or about me, so don't worry about it, ok? Don't let it bug you."

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. What he still didn't get was why Remus would listen to that bollocks. Why on earth should Regulus Black saying he didn't 'deserve' Sirius count for anything? "Why do you care what he says, anyway?" he asked, trying and largely failing to keep the irritation from his voice. "And don't say you shouldn't have said anything, you should have, it was stupid of him to even talk to you."



Remus actually thought it meant quite the opposite, but it was pointless to argue with Sirius. He'd clearly got an idea in his head, and he was, obviously, like a dog with a bone - he wouldn't let it go. Regulus himself could probably explain in painstaking detail (which the little prick would never do, but hypothetically) and Sirius would brightly decide his brother was lying through his teeth.

"I don't care. I just. Well, you know how I am with confrontations. And I didn't expect him to know. And it was just one more thing in a painfully shite day, so. That's all. It's fine. It's nothing."



"Ok," Sirius said slowly. "Well. For what it's worth, my dear little brother and I don't agree. About anything. Even about whether or not we're actually brothers, so, you know, don't listen to him over me. Right?"



Remus nodded meekly and took a deep breath. "Well. So. Now you know what I was trying to say, and there doesn't have to be any more singing or anything." And hopefully his semi-fake confession of his sexuality would go unremarked from now on. Lord, but that had been stupid, in retrospect. He seemed to be stuck in some kind of stupid groove, like a broken record.



"No more singing," Sirius agreed readily enough. "And Moony? That wasn't that bad. Next time just tell me, ok? So we don't turn into big girl's blouses over it."



I didn't tell you the worst of it, Remus said silently to himself, but he managed a small smile. "As you wish. Although one of us doesn't need any help turning into a girl's blouse." He turned the word snowflake into a cough.



Sirius scrunched up his face in annoyance. "Honestly, Moony, sometimes I think you want me to drop my trousers. Huh, maybe you weren't joking about the fancying lads thing..." He laughed, obviously teasing. "Which, by the way, does not give you any fuel for your 'Sirius is not masculine' argument. I happen to like Stubby in a very masculine way, yeah? And I will thrash you in a very masculine way too, if you try to use that as a get-out-of-jail card again, understood?" All of this was said quite jovially, though; he wasn't really annoyed, just bemused.



"There are many things in this world I do not want to see, Sirius, and one of those is you with your pants down. I like my retinas unscarred, thank you."

This brought up an entirely new problem, though, which was: say the liking boys in addition to girls thing did get worse over time. When one's friends were also one's family, one really out to come out, right? But how was one to do that when Sirius bloody Black would patently refuse to believe you?

Remus shook himself mentally. That was ridiculous. He liked girls mostly, insomuch as he really liked anyone. There would never be any reason to tell them. For Merlin's sake, he wasn't some kind of shirtlifter really.

"I know that, Padfoot," he said seriously, trying not to grin. "Mick Jagger, though...that's not the same thing at all."



Well. In Sirius bloody Black's defense, coming out to him in order to avoid telling him something else was not the best plan ever. It made it rather hard for him to believe.

"Mick Jagger," he protested, stabbing a finger at Remus to punctuate, "is a god. A bloody rock god with an arse that looks spectacular in tight pants. You have no idea what you're saying. Poor lad. You and James and Pete, with your boundaries and your but they don't have tits, Padfoot. No clue what you're missing." He was mostly referring to James, really, couldn't remember the last time Remus had complained about men's general lack of cleavage. Not to mention bragging- Sirius didn't have half the reputation, or experience, with lads that he had with ladies. Still. It was fun to make your friends squirm using nothing more than your willingness to shag a bloke.



Remus had never once complained about men's lack of cleavage, mainly because he was not comfortable discussing cleavage, and perhaps a little bit because he didn't really mind men's lack of cleavage.

"Well, we can only hope that you don't start trying to dress like him," he said mildly. "Your arse in tight pants would be - distracting." Yeah. That was an appropriate word for it.



"Distractingly spectacular," Sirius muttered, making a face. "Spectacularly distracting. I am also a god. A god of sex. A sexy, sexy sex god who is not phased by your sad little insults. Hmmph." There. He had showed him!

"You can go back to your essay, if you like," he offered, standing up. You couldn't keep Remus from studying for too long. That would be like keeping a fish out of water, or clipping a butterfly's wings off- weird and wrong.



Remus grinned at him. "What makes you think it was an insult?" he purred, and was immediately shocked at his apparent inability to stop bloody doing this. When had he turned into an incorrigible flirt? And with Sirius of all people?!

"I was only doing it to avoid you," he admitted, leaning back in his chair. "You don't have to leave. Unless you've something to do. Speaking of gods, as god of chocolate, may I inquire as to what I will find if I go get my fourth year Arithmancy book?"



Sirius blinked. Honestly, this was getting freaky. Remus was probably the single least flirtatious person he knew. Remus had been known to blush at nothing more than the word knickers.

Apparently, joke-flirting was different.

"Dunno, why don't you go see?" Honestly. Hadn't he explained that the point of wanting to know where Remus's chocolate was was driving Remus nuts? He didn't want to actually deprive the werewolf of one of the few things guaranteed to put him in a good mood.



Well, knickers was a frightening word!

Remus got to his feet. "I may just, at that," he said, suddenly craving a chocolate bar. Which he might share with Sirius, if Sirius asked, which he probably wouldn't, because he suddenly realised what association Remus's chocolate must have. Shite. He had to fix this, somehow.

Maybe it could never be completely fixed.

"You coming with?" he asked nonchalantly, gathering his things.



Yeah. Sirius was probably not going to be requesting a bite any time soon. Just in case. The idea of him, Remus, and chocolate all in the same place did bring up feelings of trepidation.

"Nah," he said, shaking his head. "Thought I might go hit the pitch, get some flying in." He'd been doing a lot of flying in the past few days. No better antidote to the trapped, panicky feeling than being in the open sky. "Can come, if you want," he offered, though he knew it wasn't too likely. "Once you've got your chocolate."



Flight had never been one of Remus's great loves, and he found nothing more boring than watching other people fly. "No thanks," he said politely. "I do have studying to do. I'll see you later?"

He really hoped they weren't sleeping in the common again. His back still ached a bit.



"Later," Sirius agreed with a little wave. He shoved his hands into his pockets and went out the portrait hole, whistling as he went.

Maybe his bed would be ok tonight. Maybe. He'd see.