REPOST
Who: Siremus again.
Where: Infirmary to start with.
What: Make-up sex rescue.


It was, in general, how his rages worked- a period of intense, almost uncontrollable fury followed by a few hours of sulking and then, all of a sudden, swift reconcilliation to the situation at hand. James's steadfast Jamesishness had helped considerably, of course, but for the most part, Sirius's anger had simply run its course, just like that.

In the wake of it, he was mostly just, weird as it was, worried about Remus. Not that he'd admit it in so many words, but the ever-responsible boy's absence from classes all day had made Sirius concerned and, to be honest, far more out of sorts than he would have been if Remus had been there. If Remus had been there, he could have spent the day deliberately ignoring him and making sarcastic remarks to no one in particular, worked the anger out that way without having to really look at it. But Remus hadn't been, and Remus hated missing class, never missed class unless he was sick, and so Remus had to be beating himself up and making himself sick and generally coming down like a tonne of bricks on himself. Which was not on, as far as Sirius was concerned, and not only because it wasn't fair that someone besides him was getting to be brick-like at Remus. And so he'd felt oddly guilty for that, though he knew that for once, he was the wronged party; and then there'd been the displaced, something-is-missing feeling that there always was when Remus wasn't around to throw little bits of paper at.

So now that the rage was gone, there was just worry, and the same compulsive need he felt after each full moon to make sure that Remus was all right. He supposed it might have something to do with the other boy being in the hospital wing. That seemed logical.

He didn't bother either with knocking or waiting when he got to the Infirmary, just strolled on in; as much time as Remus spent here, the rest of the Marauders came by nearly as often to look in on him, and respect for infirmary protocol had long since gone out the window. Pomfrey, who was taking the temperature of a second year in the bed across from Remus's usual one, gave him a slightly suspicious look; either he looked odd, which he supposed was possible since he'd spent most of the day on top of the east tower riding a re-sized Olivia around in loud circles and letting the wind have its way with his hair- or the nurse could, with her creepy nursey-sense, tell that there was Something Weird Going On with her most frequent patient and his friends. Sirius smiled at her in the hope that she wouldn't try to kick him out, or anything, and crossed to Remus.

He stood a few feet away from the bed with his hands jammed awkwardly into his pockets, not exactly avoiding looking at Remus but not quite keeping his gaze on the other boy either. This was weird. He wasn't angry any more, yeah, but- this was just weird. "Hey."



Remus had fought with Sirius before, of course; they were teenage boys and best mates, it was inevitable. But it had never before been so bad that physical distance had become necessary.

And it had been necessary, in Remus's mind. He didn't want to infuriate Sirius any further, and he couldn't stand to be around someone who so obviously hated him. He was terrible with confrontations - yet another reason the plan had been STUPID and AWFUL - and he had been witness to Sirius's rages more often than he'd been the subject of them himself, and this felt different - and -

And there was the part where, even after Sirius had assured him numerous times that he didn't hate him, Remus currently hated himself.

This was not new, of course. He'd hated himself since he was a child, for being a monster, for being dangerous, for not being normal. James and Sirius and Peter had helped with that, of course, and Remus had acquired coping skills with age, so that even when there was a falling-out within their little family, he could usually - usually - handle it with his customary calm.

But this was worse than any falling-out they'd ever had before, ever, and it was entirely and completely his fault from start to finish, because he was insensitive and dumb and obviously a total prick. While it was true that it always confused and hurt him to sleep in the dorms when one of the others - especially Sirius - was gone for some reason, this time, it was more that he couldn't live with himself.

So he'd run to Madam Pomfrey, who liked him and didn't ask too many questions and recognised his emotional turmoil instantly even if he wasn't actually physically sick, and let her take care of him for awhile.

Even reconciling with Sirius hadn't helped Remus feel much better about himself, but he knew better than to keep talking about it, lest he really get punched. And Sirius was not going to let up, clearly, until he gave in, so give in he had.

It was anyone's guess, since she knew perfectly well that he was fine, why Madam Pomfrey had insisted on checking him out once more before he left; but he could endure that if Sirius liked him again, he thought.

Remus flashed Sirius a smile when his friend entered, brief but bright, lighting up his pale, tired face for a moment. Then he controlled himself - no need to get girly about this reunion, it had been twenty-four bloody hours, honestly, and replied, "Hey. It should just be a minute. One would hope."



"Nah," Sirius disagreed, flashing a quick smile back and trying to keep his eyes from darting around like scared little animals, "Not now that I'm here. Now I'm here, Pomfrey'll want to keep us forever."

With a slight effort of will- because Merlin's tits, man, it wasn't as if beds and Remus in the same place were forever dangerous, now, or anything- he strolled over to the bed next to Remus's and threw himself down on it, folding his arms under his head and crossing his ankles in exaggerated casualness. All calculated to get Pomfrey to chase them out more quickly, of course- she hated shoes on her beds.



Sirius's tactics were clearly brilliant, because Pomfrey almost immediately abandoned the second year and came to fuss over Remus, who bore it all quite nobly as she checked his temperature and the dilation of his pupils and whatnot. He'd been doing this for years, it was just routine, but it was still damned annoying. They both knew he was fine, there'd not been anything wrong with him in the first place!

But she finally pronounced him ready to go, with her customary warning not to come back anytime soon. Remus smiled to himself a bit; they both knew he'd be back in two weeks, after the full moon. Even if the Marauders managed to keep him from getting even a scratch, which had happened maybe once, she'd still insist on giving him a thorough checkup afterwards.

He hopped off the bed and picked up the notes Lily had brought by earlier. "Ready to go," he told Sirius. He'd spent the night and much of the day in pajamas that were kept here for him, and had changed back as soon as he'd made the decision to leave.



"Yeah, but I'm not," Sirius said, burrowing down into the mattress. "It's comfy here." He waited a beat to allow both Madam Pomfrey and Remus to glare at him, and then slid off the bed and headed toward the door.

"Pretty ace rescue, huh?" he said as soon as they were out. "I'm like a knight or a ninja or something."



And Remus did indeed glare at him, though it was a good-natured glare; and as soon as they were out of earshot, he laughed a bit and said, "Yes, you're very ninja-esque. I've always said so, you know. Just not where you could hear it."

This was so like them, he thought. Weirdness one minute and joking the next. Exactly like the whole...chocolate thing. Which for some reason he couldn't stop thinking about, even if it had led to, well, you know.



"That is because you do not truly adore me as you should," Sirius informed him solemnly. "It's very tragic, that you withhold compliments of the ninja form. Sometimes, I weep. Just not where you could hear it." He dropped the serious expression to smirk at Remus, then.

For his part, Sirius was quite deliberately not thinking about the Chocolate Thing. The Chocolate Thing had been a tactic to lull him into complacency so that Remus could strike. It was Very Not On, and when he did think about it, he found himself starting to get angry again.



Remus laughed again, and this was so easy, why had he been nervous about this? "Oh, Sirius," he said, in the sweetest, most seductive tone he knew. "I do adore you, more than you can ever know. You and your ninja talents both."

They shortly arrived at the portrait, and Remus said, "Rubblesnout," without really thinking, then paused as the portrait obligingly swung open. This was going to be strange. He'd never just left before.



Sirius paused to give Remus a mock-withering look over his shoulder. "I suspect you of mockery, Mssr Moony," he said in a low voice. "My retribution shall be as fearsome as it is unexpected. You have been warned."

Dropping the melodramatic stance to step through the portrait, he pushed a hand back out into the corridor to beckon Remus to follow. Honestly, what was the boy waiting for? A hand-written invitation? "If you're waiting for a hand-written invitation, you're going to be sleeping in the corridor tonight."



Remus gave a little mock-gasp and pressed his hand to his chest. "Me, mock you? Don't be ridiculous, Padfoot, you know I'm terrible at mockery. It's absolutely true. You're my favourite ninja." He grinned winsomely.

It took a moment to get up his nerve, but after a moment he followed Sirius in, hoping against hope that the common room would be empty and stay that way, just for tonight.



"I'm your only ninja," Sirius pointed out with a grin that quickly turned into a suspicious look. "Right? Aren't I? Have you been holding out on me, going to secret ninja society meetings, going about all night with other japanese warriors? You little tramp."

The common room wasn't quite empty, but the group of third-years playing exploding snap in the corner were easily intimidated by a glare and much foot-tapping from Sirius, who had a feeling that Remus wanted to be alone in here. Remus was weird like that.



"How dare you call me a tramp, Sirius Black! I'd never cheat on you with any other ninja, ever. I'm faithful to a fault."

Remus paused again just inside the doorway and watched with a slightly hunted expression until the third years had grabbed their things and gone, then moved to collapse into an armchair with a soft sigh.



"I don't believe you," he replied, throwing himself down onto the couch where he'd spent the previous night. "I always knew you were the type to step out on a simple shadow-warrior like me, Remus Lupin, but I had hoped that our love would prevail!"

All right, it was maybe a little weird that most of the recent teasing had taken the form of mock-flirtation, but Sirius didn't especially feel like puzzling that out now. Or ever. The mysteries of human interaction were boring. Instead, he reached around under his head to plump the cushion.



Remus drew his legs up under him and curled up in the chair in his customary position, giving Sirius a wicked smile that turned into a pout. "It hurts that you don't trust me, darling. No secret society or black-clad nunchuk-thrower could ever possibly replace you in my affections. You're one of a kind."

For his part, Remus was also confused as to why this was turning out just like the chocolate incident, but contented himself with the reminder that banter was perfectly normal and at least this time there would be no touching.



"I am that," he agreed, cocking his head to one side in consideration. "Unique. Like a snowflake. A snowflake ninja." Sirius gave a decisive nod and sat up, turning to look at Remus.

"So, young Lupin, how was your first day of skivving off class?"



Remus was about to respond with another teasing comment when Sirius brought up today. And today had been bloody awful in every way and he didn't want to think about it and he hadn't been thinking about it, and he looked quite anguished for a moment before he pulled himself together.

"Oh, just fine," he said lightly. "Terribly boring, of course. Always is." He leaned back in the chair and said, trying to get the conversation back on track, "I don't think you can be a snowflake ninja, Sirius, wearing black is kind of a prerequisite and snowflakes are white."



But Sirius saw it; how could he not? Remus's face falling, that look of complete hurt- it sent a physical shiver through his body, and he slid off the couch to sit in a chair closer to Remus's, leaning toward the other boy and looking concerned.

"Look, Moony," he began, and then stopped to scrub a hand over his face and tug a bit on his fringe, nervous gestures both. "Look, you shouldn't've- I didn't want you to- I'm sorry I freaked out," he said, nearly whispering by the time he got to the end. Apologizing was always difficult for him, and was something he usually only did when he was completely convinced he'd done something wretched, which he certainly wasn't now. But he hated seeing Remus look upset like that, and what else could you say to make people stop feeling bad when they were feeling bad over something to do with you? 'I'm sorry' seemed like the only viable option.



Remus shook his head, unable to meet Sirius's eyes. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. I'm the one who screwed up royally. I didn't realise - it was idiotic of me. And I've apologised and you've accepted it and said I need to stop saying I'm sorry, so let's just - let's say no more about it. It won't happen again. Nothing like that will ever happen again. And so let's just - let's just - I'm not a tramp," he finished feebly, because somehow that seemed the only way to get back to the fun conversation.



"Yeah, I do. I overreacted, I know that, and I'm not saying if you did it again which, by the way, do and I'll kill you, but I'm not saying if you did I wouldn't overreact again. Cause I would. But I still know I did and I'm sorry, all right? I couldn't help it but I'm sorry, so you're sorry and I'm sorry so we're even, so let it go, all right? Let it go and don't look at me like that, I was angry but you're a stupid daft bugger if you really think I hated you, so...just...I can too be a snowflake ninja, I happen to be a very dirty snowflake if you somehow had not got that figured." So saying, Sirius sat back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest, giving Remus a defiant stare that the werewolf would probably recognise from countless lectures and scoldings and arguments; Sirius's 'I dare you' look, 'I dare you to disagree because I am Sirius Black and that means I'm right.'



"Well, I guess I'm a stupid daft bugger, then," Remus muttered, but he clung gratefully to the lifeline Sirius had tossed him and said at normal volume, "Sirius, I think that the idea of a black snowflake is quite horrifying. You are trying to combine two unlike objects and it's completely not going to work, don't you remember anything from third year Arithmancy?" He paused to consider this, then said thoughtfully, "Although I'm not sure one can apply mathematical principles to discussions of ninjas. Ninjas defy such laws."



Thwap.
That was the sound of Sirius reaching out to smack the side of Remus's head. It was a very satisfying sort of sound, he thought. Just the sort of sound one needed to hear when one's best mate was an idiot. Or a stupid daft bugger. Or both.

"If you don't stop it," he said, or really, growled, "I am going to get angry again. I still will not hate you, but I will be angry again. Welcome to the real world, Remus Lupin- sometimes you fuck up here, and people get pissed, and then they get over it, and you've got to too or you'll drive everyone completely barmy. All right? Now, we can either talk about the fact that arthimancy is codified insanity and I am not a black snowflake, I am a dirty snowflake, like in the city with the soot and that and the snow gets all black round the edges and that's me; or we can be sort of girly and talk about the nature of fights. But we cannot do both, and I am not going to do the former if you are sitting here thinking that I do or ever have hated you, because I don't like it when people have the wrong impression of me. So. Make your choice."



"Ow!" Remus cried out, reaching up to rub his head. "That hurt, Sirius." He listened to the rest of the speech with an injured air which gradually turned into a mischievous smirk.

"Sirius Black," he announced, "it has just occurred to me that the comparison of ninjas to snowflakes is exceptionally apt. Would you care to know why?"



"Good," Sirius said without a hint of remorse. "It was meant to. Why is the comparison of ninjas to snowflakes exceptionally apt, Remus Lupin? I am curious."



Remus smiled and fluttered his eyelashes accidentally-on-purpose and said in a low voice, "Because of the way snowflakes dance through the air when they fall. It's kind of how ninjas move. Like a dance...perfectly choreographed, elegant, beautiful. But with that underlying violence and darkness and, yes, blackness...and Sirius?" He leaned closer and whispered, "You hit like a girl."



Sirius spent most of the explanation looking slightly confused. What the hell was Remus on about? With the last line, however, comprehension dawned, and he burst into laughter. Menacing laughter. At least, he liked to think so.

"Oh, Lupin. Ooooh Lupin. Clearly, what you want is a thrashing. NINJA!" With this glorious battle cry, he flung himself out of his chair and toward Remus's, heedless of whether or not his crashing into it was going to break the furniture. Wrestling match in the common room!



It was more like maniacal laughter, at least to Remus's mind. He let out a frankly shameful shriek of half-glee and half-shock and put an arm out to hopefully ward Sirius off, the other hand going to the arm of the chair as he scrambled to get up, which was not easy from his current position.



The chair skidded a few feet over the floor as Sirius's entire body weight hit it- or, rather, the boy trying to scramble out of it. Sirius himself was briefly winded, but it was a common enough state for him and he didn't let it stop him from doing his best to tackle Remus to the floor, flailing his limbs as much as possible without actually beating his friend. It was more for show than anything, even though there was no one around to show off to.



Despite the whole turning-into-a-vicious-canine once a month thing, Remus Lupin had next to no muscle tone as a human, and was hopelessly outclassed from the start. Not expecting to win somehow made it easier to enjoy, though, and he laughed breathlessly, trying to grab hold of Sirius's wrists and doing his very best not to budge out of the chair. "Quit it!" he gasped, clearly not meaning it in the slightest. "You barmy git, all I said was you're a girl! You can't beat up on me for telling the truth, now, can you?"



"I think you're projecting, Lupin," Sirius informed him, although between his laughter and the physical exertion of trying to pull Remus out of the chair, it wasn't terribly coherent. "I'm not the girl here! Do not make me drop my trousers to prove it!"



"Ooh, Black, you did not just call me a girl, did you? Only one of us wants to be a snowflake!" He shrieked again as Sirius got him half off the chair and struggled to get back into it, because this game probably ended when he hit the floor.

They seemed to play a lot of games, lately.

"Quel horreur!" he gasped. "Don't do that, for the love of Merlin, I wouldn't survive if you dropped trou in front of me!"



"A ninja snowflake!" Sirius bellowed around his laughter. "A deadly snowflake warrior of the night! WITH THROWING STARS!"

Having got Remus half out of the chair, he switched tactics and, instead of simply tugging on him, took firm hold and simply leaned all his weight backward. Yes, it would probably end with the back of his head hitting the floor and Remus at least partly on top of him, but winning was worth such things.

"Oh, you'd survive," he protested, "in fact the sight of my godlike arse would probably turn you queer!" Idle threats- more's the pity, said a rogue passing thought which was quickly kicked out of his head- but Sirius always was vocal about his supposed ability to be attractive to anyone.



Remus shrieked again as this tactic ended precisely the way Sirius had expected it to. He managed to catch himself on his hands and balanced above Sirius for a moment, their legs tangled together, his face flushed with exercise and delight and something else.

He'd known about the bisexual thing for awhile. Oh, he'd always known he was attracted to girls, so he'd just been able to ignore the boys thing, but it didn't matter so much anyway when it was just random boys and not...not...

He made a strangled sound and flushed even more deeply. "I think it's illegal for ninjas to get naked," he said, a little too quickly and a little too breathlessly. "I think the black ninja costume is a must."



For a few moments, Sirius was far too preoccupied with wincing and rubbing the back of his head to notice the way Remus was hovering above him, really close actually, all flushed and-

The noise that he made is perhaps best transcribed as "GAAAK."

It was one thing to carry around photographs of Mick Jagger and have the occasional wank while pondering Stubby Boardman rather than Celestina Warbeck.

It was quite another to be having sudden really, really dirty thoughts about one of your best mates in the middle of a wrestling match.

"I win," he said, rather too quickly, squriming his way out from beneath Remus (and thank god the other boy had caught himself and wasn't totally on top of him, thus making it possible for him to wriggle away without any...awkward contact.)

"Ninjas can get naked, if they're NAKED ninjas," he said as he stood, brushing himself off and straightening his trousers casually. As casually as he could when it was definitely not a casual thing but something he was thinking about doing because, oh god, his trousers really needed to be straightened. "Anyway I wouldn't be getting naked, I'd still have a shirt. But I will spare your delicate sensibilities this time, Mssr Moony."



Remus aided with the complete and total lack of awkward contact by pushing himself upright quickly as soon as he realised what a...well...awkward position they were in. He tugged his shirt into some semblance of order and fussed at his hair nervously, returning to his chair and looking everywhere but at Sirius without making it obvious - he hoped - that he was avoiding looking at Sirius.

Because, well, fuck, right?!

"You can't have such a thing as a naked ninja," he insisted, a tad frantically. "Because, you see, the all-black thing is how you know they're ninjas. It's part of the code of honour, you see. If you just ran around attacking people in a ninjalike manner without telegraphing via your costume that you're a ninja, well, it wouldn't be fair and you'd get thrown in the nuthouse, isn't that right?"

He took a deep breath, because by then he needed it, and finished, "And you'd better, Sirius Black, because I am incredibly delicate and you know it."



No, actually, Remus did make it terribly obvious, but thankfully Sirius was simultaneously looking everywhere but at Remus, and so he managed to completely miss that Remus was looking everywhere but at him.

"I thought the face scarf was how you know," he said, hoping his voice sounded completely normal and not at all weirded out by whatever the hell (totally natural because if you lived in a dormitory for seven years with a bunch of boys and you happened to sometimes find yourself attracted to boys, it was inevitable that eventually you'd probably find yourself attracted once or twice to one of the people you lived with and that wasn't weird and it was a totally passing, momentary thing, right?) turn events had just taken. "You know, with the hood and the face-covering and the total eerie silence and then the HY-YAH and all. That's ninjas, not just all black, I mean all black is the sodding weird kids who hang out in front of record stores in London."



Remus took a deep breath to calm himself down. It had just been a momentary thing. It didn't mean something. He'd had those kinds of moments with Lily too, once or twice, a couple years ago, and he definitely didn't have any sort of weird feelings for her. It was just an attraction thing, it just happened sometimes. Nothing to panic about. Nothing at all.

The difference being that Lily was a girl who was a friend, and Sirius was a boy who was his best friend.

"But think how ridiculous you'd look with only a face scarf on," he informed Sirius. "People would laugh. Once they'd overcome their, um, awe of your, er, godly form."



Sirius gave Remus a rather suspicious look. "You do not sound convinced that my form is godly," he accused rather petulantly, throwing himself onto the couch again. The nice, safe, several-metres-of-distance-between-it-and-the-armchair couch. "You sound like you might be mocking again, and we have been down this path before. This path leads nowhere but broken heads and furniture." And totally awkward moments where you were thinking naughty things about a dormmate against your sodding will. But he didn't need to say that out loud.



Remus mentally flailed for a few moments, trying to find something to say that would both placate Sirius and not be creepy in the slightest, and settled on, "It's very godly, of course, but you know that, half the time you're the one who brings it up. Yet you always seem to need confirmation. That sounds terribly insecure to me, Padfoot; are you sure you're not just fishing for compliments?"



Sirius snorted. "Of course I'm fishing for compliments, idiot. Just because I know I'm gorgeous doesn't mean I don't like to hear it." He was joking. Mostly. In actual fact, fish for compliments though he might, his looks were the thing Sirius was least insecure about. The bravado, he had found, was quite good for masking the fact that there were things about himself he wasn't too fond of. Like the fact that he was a dumb arse who did shit without thinking. And his last name. He didn't like that.



Remus tucked his legs under him again and propped his elbow on the chair arm and his chin on his hand, looking at Sirius again because he couldn't avoid it forever and Sirius was nice to look at. "Well, you are," he said. "And I'm quite sure you'd make an excellent naked ninja." Significant pause. "If such a thing were remotely possible which, I swear to you, it is not."



"I would prove it to you, but then I would have to kill you, as per the Code of the Sacred Brotherhood of Naked Ninjing," Sirius explained, stretching out and turning on his side to prob his head up on his hand. "Unavoidable, you see. Once you are exposed to the secret, you must join or die, and I don't think you have quite the sneaking abilities to be one of us, my friend."



"Exposed! What an apt word choice, Sirius; never would've expected it of you." Odds were it had been accidental, but still.

Remus laughed genuinely at Sirius's assertion. "My darling Padfoot, I am a Marauder. I might typically be the responsible one, but I think I've proven time and time again that I am quite good at sneaking. Perhaps not good enough to be a naked ninja," he conceded, "but I should think the problem would be more the difficulty of convincing me to strip than the sneaking thing."



I'm pretty sure I could get you naked if I wanted.

That was what Sirius would have said, if it hadn't been for the awkward moment several minutes ago. Somehow, now, he couldn't bring himself to make the quip; in fact, the very thought brought an exceedingly faint flush to his cheeks.

Dear god, had he turned into a girl? This was the sort of thing girls did, right? They developed spontaneous fanci- NO, it was not a FANCY, it was a MOMENTARY ATTRACTION- and then they blushed about it. The idea was rather frightening, and if Sirius hadn't been rather certain that his bits were, in fact, still very much in tact, he might have been truly worried about the possibility of a young male wizard spontaneously switching gender.

"You are a very good sneaker," he said instead, hurrying to cover up his discomfort, "As normal people go. However, as ninjas go, you are maybe your standard, every day, general issue ninja. Naked ninja? You have a long way to go, my friend."



"Ooh, that hurts, Padfoot. Me, standard? It is to laugh." Pretending arrogance, he shifted and sat up, assuming a somewhat more regal air. "I have some very bad news for you, Pads, it's probably going to break your heart, but I have to come right out with it. I am a tramp, I've been stepping out of you and attending secret meetings all over the place. I'm at the point in my ninjing career where I could hold you down with the tip of my pinkie; I had to let you win just then to maintain my secrecy. But woe, I cannot lie to you any longer." He pressed the back of his hand dramatically to his forehead.



This presented Sirius with a very interesting (note: here used as a synonym for 'horrifying') problem, a problem which he had never faced before.

Remus's words demanded another tackle and a potentially a very undignified tickle-fight. That was his instinctual reaction; that was how he would have reacted at any other time. Any normal time. Not reacting in that manner would indicate that things weren't normal, and while Sirius was pretty sure that Remus wouldn't figure out what was actually weird with him, he might think that it was something to do with the bloody hideous fight, and get sad again, and that would not do.

But tackling the other boy did not seem like the best idea ever at this juncture in time. The weirdness had just happened, after all; what if he was vulnerable to another bout of it?

He thought fast, then went with the first thing he could think of that didn't include prolonged bodily contact. "Oh, is that so? Yeah? Betcha can't keep me on this couch using just your pinkie for three minutes!" There. Minimal touching, it would be over with quickly, and everyone knew how much Sirius liked to make spontaneous bets. It seemed reasonable.



It had occurred to Remus, immediately after he said it, what his words would provoke, and an odd mixture and fear and thrill swept through him, and then more fear on account of being even a little thrilled by the idea. Fortunately Sirius's actual response was much more acceptable, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Oh, but I can," he insisted seriously, getting out of his chair and sauntering over. The couch was too low for him to stand, so he dropped to his knees beside Sirius, smirking. "You just watch," he purred, and was instantly horrified, because usually he only talked like that when they were mock-flirting and this couldn't be that on account of what had just happened.

Clearly in this situation he could not poke Sirius in the chest, so he settled for pressing his pinkie to Sirius's shoulder, smirking at him. This wasn't much of a bet, it would be over almost instantly, he was sure.



Trying not to be unnerved by the tone of Remus's voice, Sirius rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and then simply sat up. The slight pressure of Remus's pinkie caused him to lean to the side a little, but it was definitely nothing he couldn't handle. "Do I need to stand up to prove myself, too, or will this do?"



Remus laughed aloud and sat back on his heels, looking up at Sirius, eyes sparkling. "I concede, then. You are clearly the superior ninja. I cannot even hope to imagine what sort of dazzling powers you wield when you're being a naked ninja." He blushed faintly at bringing that up again, but, well, it was sort of the topic du jour, and it might strike Sirius as odd if he avoided it.



Whew. That had been close. Sirius grinned back and half-bowed from his seat. "Thank you, thank you. Just think, Moony, now you know that my powers are truly astonishing. If ever the enemies of the ninja brotherhood attack, you can count on me."



It was a bit uncomfortable down on the floor, so Remus sprang lithely to his feet and stretched a bit. "Marvellous. Now I've nothing to worry about in the world, do I, not if I've got you to protect me."



"Nope," Sirius agreed, stretching out again. "Hey, you sure you wanna sleep down here? Just 'cause I wanna camp out doesn't mean you've got to." He didn't want to camp out, exactly, but that was the easiest way of explaining it. Far easier than admitting that the idea of his bed- a location where he had been, however briefly, completely stuck- was still giving him a crawly feeling down his spine. His pride wasn't about to let him say that, much less his desire to keep Remus from continuing to beat himself up over the whole thing. Largely selfish Sirius may have been, but he had enough sense to realize that informing Remus that he was at the moment something akin to scared of his own bed would not be the best move, for either of their sakes.



Had Remus known the truth, he would have offered Sirius his own bed - which probably wouldn't have help, but he could have tried. As it was, though, he frowned a bit and retreated to his armchair. "I'm fine. This is good. This is great. We'll just hang out for a bit, that's all."

Sleeping in a chair was painful, and Remus knew this from prior and regrettable experience (a late night study session gone horribly awry when he fell asleep), but he would do it gladly for Sirius's sake.



"Suit yourself," Sirius said with a horizontal shrug. He stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, then flipped onto his stomach so that he could face Remus.

"Maybe that's what we ought to do for Halloween this year," he mused. "Ninjas. Probably not naked ones, although...well, it all depends on whether or not we think McGoogles could actually catch us in order to castrate us..."



"Mister Black," Remus said in mock horror, which would have been real horror if he hadn't known full well (or needed desperately to believe) that Sirius was joking. "It is one thing to speak of nakedly attacking the faceless masses; it is quite another to insinuate that nudity in front of Professor McGonagall is remotely acceptable. I would drop dead. And if you try it, and especially if you con James into it, I will not only drop dead, I will return from the grave and throttle you for giving me a heart attack." He raised an eyebrow delicately and said, in a much more genteel voice, "I wouldn't mind actual ninjas, though."



Thankfully, Sirius was joking. He was rather fond of his bits, thank you very much, and did not want a mad old lady who could turn into a cat coming after him with some sort of bit-shearing device. Now there was a horror story.

"Actual ninjas are a bit boring, though, for Halloween I mean. Not in general. But just...lots of black, where's the fun in that? And everyone would know we're not REAL ninjas 'cos it's only costumes, and I don't want that."



"It would be a good cover, though," Remus pointed out. "If they 'know' we're not real ninjas because it's only Halloween, they'll never suspect that we really are. Besides, we can have throwing stars and nunchuks and things. We can accessorise."

He winced just a tad at the word accessorise, because bloody hell, he sounded like a girl, and that was really quite uncomfortable after the whole...earlier...thing.



Another snort from Sirius. "You are such a girl. Ninja's don't accessorise. If anything, ninjas weaponise. Clearly, you are lying about being one yourself, or you would know this. I like nunchuks, though. Nunchuks are good. We could do that."



Remus leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, giving Sirius a smug look. "How do you know my word choice there wasn't yet another part of my clever plan to confuse people as to my true ninja status?"

There was another good part to the ninja plan, which Remus was not going to bring up because it would only upset Sirius. Halloween was five days after the full moon; head-to-toe black would cover any lingering cuts or scars, though hopefully it wouldn't be too bad this time.