Who: Dorian Sloan and Finn Thompson What: A bad day in the forest When: October 2014 [Backdated, very backdated] Where: Biblomania Bookshop Warning(s): PTSD, bit of language Status: Complete
Dorian finished tying back his hair for the second time before moving through the Biography section. It was an hour and a half til closing time on a Friday. Weekends usually brought more people in and out of the shop. The young man usually disappeared among the books to avoid too many people. Being cornered was something he’d like to avoid.
But soon he was bringing two stacks of new book titles to the desk at the front of the shop to add to a display. Being tall and lanky, Dorian could often be clumsy or miss seeing someone. When he was making his way back towards the back of the shop to return to the stockroom, a university-aged man bumped into Dorian and then shoved him.
“Watch where you’re going!” the kid snapped at Dorian.
Dorian flinched immediately and looked at the guy. Being shoved, being touched without prior warning was a trigger. And now he was pale and trembling, remembering how his captors had roughed him up, especially when they ferried him in and out of the room where they were interrogating other captive mutants.
----
Despite having done this job for several years now Finn was still getting used to it all, going from a town of a few thousand people to a city of millions still had him in awe sometimes, especially when it came to business. A small bookshop like this in his town might get a dozen or so customers a day, here in the city you'd have that many crowded in at once. He knew there were hundreds of other bookshops in the city but they still turned a decent profit and Edward was happy with how well Finn was going with things.
Finn was out in the storeroom putting price tags on the latest shipment when he heard someone speak very loudly out in the store, it wasn't Dorian's voice, he knew the softly spoken man never yelled (well not in Finn's experience as yet). He went out to investigate and saw a younger man sneering at Dorian, while Dorian had turned pale and was visibly distressed. “Is there a problem here?” Finn asked.
“Yeah.” The not-a-teen said at Finn in the same snappy tone. “This idiot ran into me and won't apologize! I want to speak to the manager.”
Finn folded his arms across his chest. “Well I'm the manager. And the man you just called an idiot is my most trusted employee. If that's the way you want to talk to my workers than I don't want your business. Get out of here!” His voice was harsh and one that he rarely used, except for with people who pissed him off.
The young man huffed and stormed out of the store. With him gone Finn turned his attention to Dorian, he knew that whatever had just happened that he didn't see had triggered a PTSD episode. “Hey. Dorian” Finn said softly, trying to get the taller man to focus on him. “Let's get you somewhere quiet.”
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The raised voices kept Dorian in that moment of disorientation, trembling. His eyes had drifted downward to his feet. The taller man could almost feel the phantom sensation of the restraints his former captors had around his wrists, ankles, and neck. The scars were still a faint pink.
Finn’s soft voice brought him back to the present. Blinking nervously, Dorian realized he was holding his breath. His hands had reflexively come up to defend himself, fingertips curling and his shoulders were raised as if he was a marionette. He exhaled and drew in a shuddering breath. Dorian nodded as his sight focused on Finn’s light-colored hair.
----
A soft smile spread across Finn's lips as Dorian took that first shaky breath which signalled that he was back from wherever his mind had taken him. He didn't know a lot about Dorian's past and to be honest it didn't matter to him, but he did know that the younger man had been held against his will and suffered PTSD as a result. It rarely affected his work, other than when careless or insensitive people came in and did something that triggered him.
“I'm going to put my hand on your back and guide you out to the break room. Is that okay?” He asked, always making sure he asked permission before touching the other man. Finn's hand hovered, waiting for confirmation. “I'll make up a pot of that nice blend you like, how's that sound?” Finn was a self confessed tea tragic and had dozens of jars of loose leaf tea blends out in the break room and even more in his apartment.
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Dorian was better than he was when Caspian had rescued him. There were fewer episodes, night terrors, nutcase behavior. But it would take more than a few years to be at an even keel more times than not. He didn’t talk about what happened to him during his captivity.
“Okay,” Dorian breathed and frowned. He was internally chiding himself for having an episode at work. Trying to focus on Finn’s question, the taller man nodded - forcing the frown away. “I’m… I’m sorry, Mr. Thompson.”
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Guiding Dorian through the aisle Finn helped him through the storeroom and into the small kitchen that served as the break room, thankfully the store was empty at that moment so Finn didn't feel bad about leaving it unattended for the moment, the bell on the door would alert him to anyone entering.
After making sure there was enough water in the kettle he turned it on to boil before putting a decent few spoonfuls of the tea into the pot. “Better in here than out in the street. If people want to act like that snobby little brat then they're not welcome in here.” His uncle before him had worked hard to make this store welcoming to all and a place where bad behaviour was not accepted, Finn would continue that tradition for as long as he ran the store. “And how many times have I told you to just call me Finn.” He smiled, Mr Thompson made him sound like his father or uncle.
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Learning to trust people again (especially a non-mutant) was a gradual process for Dorian. He was resistant at first, but he followed Caspian’s example and trusted him. The taller man lightly trembled still as he went along with Finn to the back of the shop and into the break room.
Dorian stopped and stood in the room, his arms loosely wrapping around himself. Relaxing from an episode took a few minutes once he was in a quieter and safer environment. “Sorry, Mis, I mean… Finn.” The younger man slower drew his lower lip into his mouth.
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Finn knew that Dorian would take a seat when he was ready, sometimes it would be almost instantly, other times it would be minutes or occasionally he'd just stand. Thank goodness he had read up on dealing with PTSD when he first met Dorian. Even now when some new book on the subject came out he'd read it, see what the latest advice was. It had taken some time for the other man to trust him and Finn wasn't going to do anything to put that trust in jeopardy.
“Pretty sure I've seen that kid in here before, you didn't do anything wrong Dorian, he's just a grumpy little shit who needs that silver spoon shoved up his ass.” He wasn't sure if that was true or not and he wasn't usually one to judge others but the way that kid had talked to Dorian was inexcusable and Finn wouldn't stand by and let someone abuse his employees. Plus if a comment like that got even the hint of a smile it was worth it.
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Having the opportunity to stand and even Pace was something Dorian often took advantage of. He stood there in dark dyed blue jeans, black converses, and a dark purple short sleeve button down shirt. In his left shoe was a butterfly knife. A little bit of protection was wise.
“I think he goes to one of the universities,” Dorian offered in a half whisper. He wrinkled his nose at the comment and rubbed his left arm. The taller man wasn’t ready for humor, but he would in time.
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Whatever helped Dorian Finn was open to, just as long as it didn't involve some kind of destruction of violence, even though one of his own favorite stress relievers when it got really bad was going to the shooting range, he wasn't sure if that was something Dorian would want to do. Over the time they had worked together Finn could clearly see that Dorian wasn't normally the violent type, but he hadn't seen all sides of the other man as yet and knew pretty much everyone had a dark side hiding somewhere deep inside.
“Well if he comes in here again and I'm not here just walk out.” The kettle was now boiling so Finn poured some of the water into the teapot and put the lid on to let it sit and brew. Just as he had done that the bell alerted him that someone had just entered the store. “I'll be back in a minute. You okay here?” Usually Dorian was but Finn just wanted to make sure.
----
It was true Dorian wasn’t a violent person, but he had his moments of fight rather than flight in response to a threat. His dark side was something he was working to distance himself from. Truth be told, he wasn’t one for guns. If someone he trusted had one, used one - he was okay with it.
“Okay.” Hearing the kettle boiling, Dorian circled around to sit down in one of the chairs along one wall of the break room. Color was coming back to the younger man’s face as he settled. But the bell made him blink. Everything is okay now. “Yes, I am.” He nodded, looking up at Finn.
----
With the affirmation that Dorian was okay and seeing that he was starting to get some color back to his previously pale face Finn was more than confident enough to leave the taller man alone for a few minutes while he went out and helped a customer.
Thankfully Friday afternoons weren't the busiest of times, the customer knew exactly what they wanted and it was only a matter of minutes before they were back out the door with their purchases and a smile on their face. Flipping the ‘Back in 10 minutes’ sign around Finn locked the door and walked back through the store to the break room, the tea would be ready by now.
----
With his arms loosely wrapped around his waist. Dorian had closed his eyes for a few moments. He was doing better, but it was a slippery slope. It had been five years of recovery so far. Hearing Finn’s footsteps, he opened his eyes.
A soft smile tugged at his lips as he soon watched Finn return.
----
Finn could see that Dorian had settled some in his chair and was much more relaxed than even the few minutes before when he had left the room. He knew that although the frequency of these panic attacks had reduced that they might never be cured and the other man might suffer these for the rest of his life, as long as he worked here Finn would keep an eye on him and try to reduce the triggers if he could.
Walking over to the teapot he grabbed two of the large ceramic mugs and started to pour the brewed tea into both. “Mrs Martin from upstairs baked some chocolate chip cookies if you’d like one.” Finn said, taking the few steps needed to hand Dorian a now full mug of tea. Mrs Martin was an older lady who lived on the third floor of the building where the store was located and had a habit of dropping into the store with baked goods when she had spent the day in the kitchen. “I had one earlier and they’re delicious.” Then again they usually were.
----
Dorian was good - calm and himself as much as he could be again. It was best not to dwell on the episodes, move on and the like. He would have good days and bad days. The nervous energy still mildly buzzed underneath the surface.
“Oh? No thank you. She sounds nice,” Dorian nodded as he watched Finn and took the mug of tea from him. Watching someone prepare and pour tea was calming. Any food or drink preparation that wasn’t composed of slinging a package of processed meat, cheese, and crackers was a plus in his mind.
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Finn got his own mug and held it in his hands, taking a deep breath and inhaling the lovely scent of the herbs and flavors that were in the tea, it was a chamomile blend and always seemed to help when he was a bit uptight or worked up and so far it seemed to be helping when Dorian had an episode. He nodded slightly as the other man politely refused the offer of a cookie, just meant more for him later. “She is, I’m under the impression that she thinks that I’m not eating enough and wants to fatten me up.” In a way she was like his New York grandmother, which he didn’t mind.
Taking a seat near but not next to Dorian, Finn took a sip of his tea and then leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees as he relaxed. Dorian knew that if he still was feeling a bit out of sorts when his next shift was on he just had to send a message and Finn would sort out the gap in staff, he wanted to be a good boss and working around his employees was one of those things a boss did.
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Dorian smiled a little brighter at the idea of someone wanting to fatten Finn up. He carefully held onto the mug and bowed his head to breath in the fleeting steam. Being able to focus on something simple and safe often centered the young man.
He watched out of the corner of his eye as The other man sat down. It was a constant habit no matter who it was beyond Caspian.
----
Finn wasn’t exactly skinny but he wasn’t big either, though not many people really saw what was under his clothing. Swimming was keeping him pretty trim and toned, he was just naturally of a slighter build than most people, but he had noted long ago that he wasn’t as slight as Dorian and if anyone needed fattening up it was the younger man.
It was kind of nice to just sit here in quiet, sipping tea as the sounds of the city continued on outside. Maybe tonight he’d go out for dinner, the weather wasn’t too bad for October and it wasn’t like there was a shortage of places to eat within the space of a few blocks. He’d ponder what he was in the mood for later, after the store was shut and he was sure that Dorian got home okay, speaking of which. “You’ll be right getting home?” Finn asked, just wanting to make sure.
----
Dorian didn’t eat much beyond his meals most days, perhaps a snack and a dessert here or there. Thinking beyond necessity was still a goal for the young man. But he was getting there.
He gently dipped his tea and breathed. He liked the calm and quieter environment. Dorian could handle the noise and crowd ness of the city streets as long as he kept his focus on the main task of navigating from point A to point B with the alertness towards his surroundings. Blinking at Finn’s question, he nodded. “Yes, I will be. It’s not too far.”
----
Finn nodded, he did worry at times about Dorian getting home after having an episode, New York pedestrians weren’t exactly known for their manners and getting barged around by shoulders and sides was a pretty common occurrence. It was that that made Finn worry, that unwanted touch, though Dorian had learned to deal with that pretty well so far.
“If you wake up tomorrow and feel like you need to take your shift off just sent me a text.” Finn took another sip of his tea, it had cooled down a bit and didn’t feel like it was going to burn his tongue which made it much easier to drink. He knew that sometimes Dorian was fine the next day and sometimes he wasn’t, only time would tell.
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Slowly, Dorian wrapped his hands tighter around the cup, liking the heat against his fingers. It could get chilly this time of year and at time he felt some residual aches. If he shrugged his shoulders upward and kept his arms close to himself, the young man was usually able to get through the crowds. Sudden and unexpected touches were what set him off among other things. Dorian tried his best to plan out how to react to any of his triggers, but sometimes it happened too quickly to follow a plan.
“Okay,” he nodded after taking another sip of the tea. “Thank you, Finn. I… appreciate it,” the younger man spoke as he gently looked over at him.
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It was true that Finn didn’t know the full extent of what had happened to Dorian before he had come into the store looking for a job, there were many ways he could have ended up with PTSD and it wasn’t really any of Finn’s business to know what kind of horrors had caused it. He had worked with combat veterans before coming down to the city and that was his first introduction to the mental condition and since had found that no matter the cause, the symptoms were similar.
“It’s no problems Dorian. You’re a hard worker and a very loyal employee, you know if there’s anything else I can do you just have to say.” He took a sip of his tea. “Now finish that and head home, I’ll be fine closing up here.”
----
Dorian did not talk about what happened to him during those two years. The only person who knew anything about it in his life was Caspian - his rescuer, his most trusted person in all the world at present. He felt like he owed him everything. This new life, as fragile as it was, was a gift in his mind. Recovery from the old life would take time. The younger man hoped for a normal life and the job at the bookshop after establishing an apartment and earning a GED was the next step.
Nodding, he sipped some more of his tea. “Okay.” Dorian breathed as a bit of tension was still in his shoulders. It would subside and he would be back to ‘normal’.
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Who Dorian once was or what had happened was none of Finn's business really, he preferred to focus on who someone was now and not focus on their past, everyone had things they wished would remain hidden, even himself. Dorian had shown himself to be a very capable worker and until this was no longer true there would be a job here for him.
Downing the rest of his tea Finn walked over to the sink and rinsed his dirty mug out before putting it into the rack to dry. “I'll be out the front. Take your time.”
----
Working on the bookshop was a joy. The bookworm he was in middle and high school could escape between the pages of the books he set aside for breaks. Focusing on tasks with his work, Dorian concentrated on that. So for the most part he was calm and at peace.
He nodded and smiled softly. “I will be out in a few minutes.”
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Finn gave Dorian a warm, wide smile before he headed back out into the store. Flipping the sign back to open and unlocking the door he went about checking the shelves. He really did feel at home amongst the books.