[FIC] Remus/Sirius -- Christening (NC-17) Title: Christening Author:thescarletwoman Pairing: Sirius/Remus Rating: NC-17 Warnings: Masturbation, Rimming Word Count: ~3,600 Summary: Sirius and Remus are moving into their new flat. Sirius, however, has no idea how to pack. Author Notes: It was when cleaning off my hard drive, I realised I never posted this. It was written after the first Strikethrough, my wanting to give fandom more porn. Well, as I say, better late than never. Added to since then, I thought it'd be a wonderful thank you gift to my wonderful flist in thanks for your support during a really, really rough start to the year. ♥ this one's for you guys. And thanks, as always, to my wonderful beta rose_whispers
"Sirius, be careful with that --"
CRASH.
"--box," Remus finished with a sigh. Of course Sirius had to pick up the one box with breakables and of course he had to toss it around as if it were a box of pillows or something else that would stand being dropped from waist-level.
"Why, what's in there?" Sirius asked, kneeling and pawing through the broken pieces.
"Those were to be our glasses had you actually paid attention to the word 'fragile' on the outside of the box," Remus replied, smacking Sirius upside the head.
Sirius winced, rubbing the back of his head and shooting Remus a glare. It was answered with a leveled gaze and when Remus got that look in his eye, everyone backed down. Even Sirius.
"Are you a wizard or aren't you?" Sirius asked, rolling his eyes skyward. "It's called 'reparo', you know."
Remus smacked Sirius a second time, leaving the man to his own devices and the shards of glass that littered the bottom of the box and the surrounding floorspace. He walked through the flat, sighing when he saw the sheer number of boxes piled everywhere. In spite of his best efforts to keep things organised, there were boxes labeled 'bathroom' in the living room and boxes marked 'kitchen' sitting in the bedroom.
One box at a time, Remus, he chided himself. It didn't get boxed in a day and it certainly wouldn't be unpacked in a day either. And as much as Sirius said that a few charms could put things away in a matter of minutes, Remus refused to. This was their first flat and he'd put things away the 'old fashioned way', no matter how long it took. Besides, it gave him an opportunity to go through Sirius' things and pitch everything that was gaudy.
One such item had been the wretched orange lamp with purple dots on the shade. While this may have been of the current age, Remus was not about to have their flat look like some porno parlour. Sirius had fought valiantly against throwing it away, but in the end Remus won that battle. True, there had been shagging by way of making up and Remus wouldn't have put it past Sirius to buy the lamp just for the fight and the make-up sex.
Whoever said sex wasn't a weapon needed their head examined. Against Sirius Black, it was the best weapon Remus had.
"They're fixed!" Sirius shouted from the other room. "Where do they go?"
Remus felt like beating his head against the wall. "Glasses, Sirius. Where do you think they go?"
Grumbling and obscenities were Remus' reply as he listened to Sirius stomp through the flat like a petulant three year old.
Leaving Sirius to bitch and moan in the other room, Remus decided to attack the first stack of boxes. After opening one marked "bedroom", finding it contained nothing but foodstuffs, Remus realised he never should have let Sirius do any of the packing. There would be no grouping of like labeled boxes together, and he'd have to go through every single one. He couldn't trust the names on the outside of the boxes.
Well, fuck.
Muttering under his breath, Remus set that one aside as well as the next two, deciding to start with the largest box on the bottom. Bottom to top -- he had to start somewhere, didn't he?
Remus settled himself on the floor, dragging the box towards him. Heavier than it should have been for something labeled bathroom, Remus undid the flaps and opened the box. Honestly, Sirius... Remus thought with a sigh, opening it to find that it contained nothing but smut magazines. When Remus had said to throw away extraneous items these magazines were precisely what he had in mind. Honestly, now that they were living together did Sirius really have the need for them? Sex was guaranteed. Nightly. Even twice a day if Sirius was good.
There were two things to note with the finding of these magazines. Number One, Remus J Lupin was far from being a prude. He knew Sirius read (in a manner of speaking) such things and derived fantasies from them. What man didn't, to be quite honest? He knew James read them (though Remus had a distinct feeling their tastes in magazines differed quite a bit). Hell, Remus was sure Peter had nicked one before as well. Number Two, Remus had browsed through these particular magazines once or twice before but his tastes ranged towards a man who was present, not to a picture of a bloke.
Even if these were Wizarding magazines.
However, what Remus did not expect was that said magazines were going to follow them.
Packed away in a box labeled 'bathroom' no less.
About to close the box up once more, Remus instead reached for the top magazine. If he was going to have to put up with Sirius and his bitching for the rest of the day, he may as well have some entertainment. Just because he didn't care for the magazines didn't mean he wasn't going to page through one.
"Hey Moony!"
The magazine was thrown into the box like it was a hot potato, Remus half afraid he had gotten his hand caught in the proverbial cookie jar. He whirled around, twisting to look at the door behind him only to find there was no one there. Remus breathed a sigh of relief, feeling extraordinarily foolish for being worried that Sirius would have caught him reading a porn magazine. And Sirius' own porn magazine, no less.
"What is it?" Remus shouted back. "And why can't you come talk to me like any normal human being rather than shouting through the place?"
"Because!" Sirius replied as if that was ever a viable answer.
"Well, what is it?" Remus asked again.
"I just realised something!" Sirius paused for dramatic effect, waiting for Remus to reply, though Remus didn't take the bait. "You're no fun, Moony." The sound of footsteps stomping filled the next dramatic pause, the steps growing louder as Sirius grew closer. "Anyway..." Sirius appeared at the doorway, poking his head in. "I thought of something," he repeated.
"So you said," Remus said, putting himself between the box of dirty magazines and Sirius. "And what is this grand realisation or are you going to wait until I guess?"
"This is our flat."
"You have a stunning intellect," Remus replied, rolling his eyes. "I had no idea that this was our flat. Which is why these are not our belongings that we're unpacking. Speaking of which, I'd love if you could learn that food doesn't belong in a box marked bedroom."
Sirius flipped Remus off. "Funny, Moony. No... what I meant was." A peculiar and downright mischievous light glinted in Sirius' eyes. "We have to christen the place. Every room, in fact. It's a tradition."
"A tradition... where, exactly?" Remus replied, attempting to hide a smile. "I don't remember it being mentioned in the contract we signed with our landlord."
"Always have to be so literal?" Sirius asked with a shake of his head. "Besides, you're arguing. Sounds to me like you're vetoing the idea."
"Not on your life."
"Finish your unpacking," Sirius said with a smile. "You won't be any fun unless you've finished your work. I know you. I've tried the distracting route. It only works for so long then you're wanting to get back to your books. So unpack first, fun later."
Sirius swept into the room, tilted Remus' face upwards and stole a kiss before he bounded away once more. The kiss left Remus breathless, staring into space where Sirius had stood only moments before. Sirius Black was like a force of nature and it was one of the things Remus so dearly loved about him. Grumbling under his breath, Remus returned to his box of dirty magazines. Suddenly, pawing through smut didn't seem like such an arduous task. Leave it to Sirius to mention sex and consequently cause his own brain to totally shut down. Damn his libido.
The first magazine, while interesting, did absolutely nothing for him. He never had a thing for skinny blokes, Remus much preferred his to have a bit of meat on their bones. Remus tossed that one back inside and sifted through, discarding the next few he found. It was with the fifth that he finally found one he liked, the cover boasting an 'unwrapped' edition of Quidditch players from around England. The right amount of muscle for Remus, not to mention the sultry smile on the dark-haired man on the front. So he tended to like the magazines that featured men who looked like Sirius. So sue him. Remus ignored the nagging voice in the back of his head that said he had ranted about the presence of these magazines not ten minutes before and here he was about to get himself off by staring at one.
Remus J Lupin was a man and consequently logic didn't always have to apply. Once more, Remus listened for sounds of Sirius and when he was content Sirius wasn't about to walk in, he opened the magazine.
Remus rubbed his hand against his cock, using the fabric of his trousers to aid in the friction. He had to be careful not to make noise and draw Sirius' attention. It was rather hypocritical of him to wave off Sirius only to turn around and wank. But then again, he'd blame this on Sirius. The kiss had inflamed him and then his lover had departed and he would not have been able to concentrate until he'd relieved himself of certain tensions. It wasn't long before his trousers became uncomfortably tight, Remus carefully undoing his jeans and freeing his aching cock, the Quidditch player in the magazine mimicking Remus' movements. Hand against skin felt better, Remus stroking himself while his other skirting across his bare abdomen beneath his shirt.
He had no lubrication, so good old fashioned spit would have to work for now. Remus' thumb rubbed across the slit, spreading precome around the head of his cock. The pictures were now irrelevant, Remus picturing himself and Sirius in any number of positions. Bent over a table, in the shower… even the rare occasions when they managed to made it to a bed. Usually any hard surface would suffice when the urges struck. His hand skirted farther up under his shirt, tweaking a nipple and playing with it as his other hand moved lower. His finger lightly teased his entrance, moving back upwards roughly palming his bollocks. Blood pounded in his head as he alternated between cupping his balls and stroking his cock, imagining it was Sirius' hand and mouth doing the work --
"Getting started without me?"
Instantly, Remus' hand fell away having never heard Sirius approach. Remus coloured, knowing he'd been caught with his cock hanging out from the opening of his trousers. It wasn't exactly an innocent picture, legs spread and a magazine on the floor between them.
"Well, don't stop on my account," Sirius said, raising his shirt over his head, eyes locked on Remus' face.
His movements were slow as Remus watched Sirius remove each article of clothing. Remus let his hand skate across his abdomen, giving attention to his cock until Sirius was completely nude. So much better than a magazine in Remus' estimation. Without a word, Sirius stalked forward, dropping to his knees beside Remus' prone form. Trousers were removed first, Sirius kissing his way up Remus' inner thigh as he took off the offending clothing. Settling himself between Remus' legs, Sirius batted Remus' hand away, taking control.
Sirius' tongue ran along the length of Remus' cock, pausing at the head to circle his tongue around the crown. Remus whimpered, hands lowering to thread through Sirius' hair, urging him on. Sirius, however, wasn't following Remus' silent urgings and rather than putting his mouth where Remus needed it, moved away from his cock to press kisses along Remus' inner thigh. His tongue ran along the skin, drawing patterns as he made his way up Remus' thigh, nose rubbing against the base of Remus' cock. Bloody hell... Remus lost all power of speech and tried to take charge of the situation through movements as opposed to words. Remus tightened his hands in Sirius' hair, guiding him towards his cock.
At last, Sirius got the message and stopped his teasing. He nibbled his way across the sensitive skin of Remus' abdomen and, after licking his lips, leaned forward to take Remus' cock into his mouth. Remus writhed on the floor, his hips slowly thrusting upwards, fucking Sirius' mouth. The hands in Sirius' hair was the only way Remus could ground himself, legs spreading to further accommodate the man between them. Sirius' hands somehow seemed to be everywhere at once: cupping and rolling his balls, sliding beneath his arse to tease his entrance, massaging Remus' hip. Remus knew he was a rather vocal lover, and he did nothing to stop the litany of moans and groans that spilled from his mouth. A whimper meant more, a groan plainly said 'don't stop'.
One moment he was facing upwards, the next he was face down on the floor, Sirius spreading his arse cheeks with his hands, tongue delving in the cleft of his arse. Remus bucked up, Sirius' tongue driving him mad with want and need. The groans seemed to push Sirius on, his tongue making wider passes, just barely pressing into his arse. Remus' fingers attempted to dig into the floor, but all he managed to do was mar the hardwood floors with his fingernails. Sirius was teasing and was driving Remus mad with want. Sirius' tongue worked its magic as he ran a finger along Remus' lower lip. With a grin, Remus sucked the digit into his mouth, his tongue teasing it as if it were a miniature cock. When he released the spit-slicked finger, Sirius began alternating pushing his tongue into Remus' arse with a press of his wet finger. Remus was vibrating with need and even as his whimpers turned to a keening sound, Sirius didn't cease.
Abruptly, the exquisite torture stopped. Remus whimpered in protest, lifting his hips as if to say 'I'm not ready for you to be done there yet.'
"Where's... uh..." Sirius paused, pressing a kiss to the small of Remus' back. "We forgot to unpack the oil first, didn't we?"
"Are you a Wizard or aren't you?" Remus ground out, throwing Sirius' earlier question back in his face. "There are spells for such things. You know. The one you like tossing in my direction the moment you were sure Prongs or Wormtail were gone from the tower."
Sirius let out a bark of a laugh, abandoning Remus long enough to retrieve his wand from his trousers. Remus followed his movements with his eyes, rolling onto his side and propping his head up on the heel of his hand.
"Keeping that in your back pocket?" Remus teased. "You know Moody says you'll blow your arse off. And then where would I be?"
"Screwed," Sirius replied, muttering a Lubricus under his breath. Remus let out a sigh, feeling his inner muscles relax the rest of the way. It was still a vaguely disconcerting spell which was why he usually insisted on preparing the 'old fashioned way'. However, as Remus wasn't about to wait so they could dig through all the boxes, he was willing to make an exception. Sirius dropped his wand back onto the pile of clothing, turned, and practically pounced on Remus. "Now, as my buttocks are completely intact and yours are too, I'd really like to continue."
Nudging Sirius to lift his body, Remus rolled back onto his stomach, and pushed onto his hands and knees. Turning his head, Remus gave Sirius a near feral look over his shoulder. He didn't fancy splinters along his spine and figured in this position would be the easiest on both of their bodies. Not to mention it allowed for the deepest thrusts.
"What are you waiting for?" Remus said, licking his lips in a near wolfish expression.
Sirius grasped Remus' hips, fingertips digging into the flesh. He didn't wait for any further invitation, but rather slid forward, burying his cock in Remus' arse. This was exactly what they both needed and there was something erotic about being able to have sex on the floor of their flat and not worry about anyone busting in on them. Remus arched his back, pushing backwards to take in all of Sirius. He'd had enough of the teasing, now he was ready for something hard and fast. Remus closed his eyes, his body rapidly adjusting to the familiar feeling of Sirius being inside him, completing him.
"Move," Remus ground out, his head dropping forward. "You know I'm not going to break."
Judging by the sudden movement behind him, Sirius apparently didn't need to be told twice. His hips rocked, building up a slow rhythm that quickly began to build in intensity. One of Sirius' hands left their steady position on Remus' hip to wrap around his front, grasping Remus' cock. He stroked in time with his thrusts, Remus' whimpers growing louder by the moment. Sirius kissed the nape of Remus' neck, running his tongue along the area where skin met hairline. Every nerve ending was on fire, alight wherever Sirius touched him. Remus turned his head around a second time, Sirius taking the hint to lean down and steal a very awkward kiss.
Before Remus could say anything, he was coming, his seed spilling onto Sirius' hand and their brand new floor. He had wanted this to last longer but between his own prior activities and the deepness of Sirius' thrusts, it had been impossible to stave off his orgasm. His inner muscles clenched around Sirius' cock, wanting to draw Sirius' orgasm out with his own. Sirius' hips still pumped, though his lover changed the angle changing slightly to hit Remus' prostate with each stroke. Remus was half hard once more, stars exploding before his eyes as he fought to hold onto what little control he had left. Sirius' orgasm soon followed, his body collapsing against Remus' with exhaustion. While Remus may have been stronger than most, he did not have the upper body strength to support both himself and one very sated lover. Still joined, the two men collapsed in a heap on the floor, Sirius' body catching the corner of one of the discarded boxes and partially crushing it. There was no accompanying breaking sound so at least it would withstand Sirius' weight. They rolled back, Sirius wrapping his arms around Remus as they came to rest, the box now completely destroyed. Sirius wasn't complaining, so hopefully it had been empty.
Remus opened an eye, looking at the damage. Between the demolished box and smutty magazines strewn about the room, it created quite a picture to be certain.
Neither spoke for a time, both men listening to each other's rhythmic breathing. The scent of sex and sweat hung in the room like a perfume and Remus knew they'd have to cast a few cleaning charms before there was an unnatural stain on the hardwood floor. Remus breathed it all in, his body curling against Sirius' in a post-coital want of cuddling and Sirius seemed only too happy to oblige. He moved sweat-soaked hair away from Remus' neck, lightly pressing a row of kisses and nips to Remus' skin.
"You know, this wasn't the first room I was planning on christening," Sirius remarked, half laying on Remus, half laying on the now-broken box.
"You had a plan?" Remus asked, giving himself a moment to catch his breath. He shifted, Sirius' cock slipping out of him as he moved out from under Sirius' weight. He hoisted himself up on one elbow to look down at his lover.
"Naturally," Sirius replied. He pointed to the box of magazines that had begun the whole mess. "You were supposed to take the box into the bathroom and start looking through as you did. I was going to feign needing a shower after all the heavy lifting, come across you, and then bundle you into the shower too."
"You... you actually had a plan," Remus repeated, gobsmacked.
"What part of the earlier explanation didn't you understand?" Sirius snorted. "And here I thought you were a Prefect based on your intelligence."
Remus hoisted himself up off the floor and grabbed a handful of the magazines. "Far be it for me to ruin your 'perfect plan'," Remus said, smirking. "Coming?"
Laughing, Sirius stood and wrapped his arms around Remus' waist, the two awkwardly making their way to the bathroom.
"I rather hope that pun was intended," Sirius murmured in Remus' ear.
"What do you think?"
"I think I need to wash your mouth out with soap... along with the rest of you."