You're not evil, you just have wretched taste and I'm going to have to ask you to get off my internet immediately.
Actually, as gross as it is, I admit it does have potential, and with a few modifications, it's actually pretty decent, certainly better than the bathing suit, if not any more remotely amazon. It's just the ZOMGSEXYBRA and that 90s strapsplosion business that's really dragging it down.