Now THIS is how you show Transformers fighting Mr Bay...
Having, for reasons I'm not sure I quite believe, subjected myself to the horrors of "Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen" (Or "Shia LeBeouf and the Hardware Mastur-Bay-tion") I felt I had to soothe my frayed nerves with some decent Transformers....
So this comes from the UK comic - Transformers Weekly #82, way back in October 1986.
From left to right, this happy little crew are Impactor, Rack'n'Ruin, Topspin, Whirl, Roadbuster and Twintwist (Only Rack'n'Ruin and Impactor are not actual toys in the TF line). The components strewn around them appear to be bits of Blitzwing, the Deception triplechager tank/jet/robot. (Oh, and yes, "get wrecked" had the same other meaning of "getting drunk" back in 1986 as it does now) These are NOT A-list Transformers... they are barely D-List Transformers, they are the Transformers equivalent of PAD's X-Factor cast, wannabe's and never were's. NONE of this crew ever showed up in the cartoon for example.
Before we begin I might drawn your attention to the colouring here, it really is rather lovely, John Burns taking full advantage of the different printing technique that the UK Weekly could use.
The Wreckers fight hard... REALLY hard... as we see in this introduction to the team as they launch a sneak attack with their feared battle cry of...
At this point they realise that if they implement this plan without the currently missing Ultra Magnus, the next step of the plan will involve them all being obliterated by the countless Decepticon reinforcements that would pour into the arena.
Yup, it's all been a complex simulation using Facsimile Constructs of the Decepticons, as training for "Project: Volcano" the Wreckers current mission to destabilise the Decepticons by luring their deadliest members to a single location and then wiping them out. Alas, without Magnus it's looking more and more like a complete suicide mission. Not being complete idiots they feel that the "suicide" aspect means it's not longer their mission. After all, they are excellent warriors and there are other missions that deserve their attention too. They decide to tell Emirate Xaaron (Big Boss Autobot) that they are no longer going ahead with "Project Volcano", because, as Twintwist summarises it; "This isn't our fight"
I might also add I LOVE Rack and Ruin, and it's a shame they only appeared about once more. Once both standard Autobots, these were two brothers who became jets, until injuries they'd suffered forced Autobot medics to combine them into one "Siamese robot". They could no longer transform, but were quite happy to keep fighting with their interchangeable hammer and anvil arms.
The Wreckers decide to take some downtime whilst Impactor goes and reports their decision to Xaaron.
So we find that the Wreckers fight hard, and they play hard too...
I really like Whirl, who doesn't have a standard humanoid face (In fact it's mostly because he and Roadbuster originate from another cartoon series completely. Just as Jetfire came from Macross, Whirl and Roadbuster are originally from Special Armoured Battallion Dorvack, and Hasbro just bought the rights to use them as a toy)
Awww... poor little juke-bot.... Twintwist looks set to intervene, he doesn't like bullies, but Roadbuster tells him to hold back as "This isn't our fight"
The words clearly strike a chord with Twintwist... a deep chord... a deep, dangerous chord...
Suffice to say, when Impactor comes back, having been talked by Xaaron into trying one more time to get the Wreckers to commit to the mission, not a single hand remains lowered when he asks for volunteers.
Now THAT Mr Bay, is how you make me give a shit about battling Robots - Make them CHARACTERS first, the fact they're transforming giant alien robots is more or less secondary.
Next time, if I can find it, I'll post Buster getting his robot battle suit and finding that being a giant robot isn't all it's cracked up to be...