InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I hate celery!"

seriousfic (seriousfic) wrote in scans_daily,
@ 2009-03-28 11:32:00

Entry tags:

char: etta candy, char: steve trevor, char: veronica cale, char: wonder woman/diana of themyscira, publisher: dc comics

The greatest Wonder Woman story ever
I'm not sure I can really describe this one. For Wonder Woman 200, one of those 80-page giants, DC commissioned a back-up strip pastiching (not a word) the Golden Age, complete with "the Golden Age Veronica Cale". So basically it's a Golden Age AU fanfic of Greg Rucka's run, only with less smut.

But even by Golden Age standards, there's some impressive crackitude. Just take a look.

When I first read this, I was wondering at Veronica Callow wearing an evening dress with black opera gloves. Then I saw the part at being at a fundraising party and now I wonder at Wonder Woman wearing a one-piece bathing suit to a social gathering. Have some self-respect, Diana!

I should probably make a pervy comment about Veronica having a "mighty heroine at my beck and call," but couldn't Diana just take the endorsement and give the money to charity?

Somewhere, Max Lord is kicking himself. "I didn't have to commit suicide? All I needed to do to turn America against Wonder Woman was paint a moustache on Lady Liberty?" Yes, Max, the general public will turn against heroic lawmen at the drop of a hat. Kids, this is why reading Marvel Comics can save your life.

Queen Turvy-Topsa of Upsy-Daisyland? If this were a real Golden Age story, here's where you would notice Grant Morrison masturbating furiously. Because he likes cracky old stuff, you see.

So after Steve's ceaseless pursuit of Wonder Woman, she finally returns his interest... and he immediately pushes her away. There's something messed-up with this relationship.

Also, LOL at the Holliday Girls. "She's kissing a boy! That can't be the real Diana!"

Second panel: Count the fetishes!

Persuasion? Oh, right, bondage. Gotcha.

(Post a new comment)

	crinosg 2009-03-28 01:25 pm UTC (link)
	Okay, so she made a robot that looks just like her, then gave her a wonder woman mask? Why not just make the robot look like Wonder Woman to begin with? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	seriousfic 2009-03-28 01:31 pm UTC (link)
	But then, how would she be metaphorically inside Wonder Woman? D: :D (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crinosg 2009-03-28 02:26 pm UTC (link)
	...ah, well met good sir. I forgot they're legally required to fit as much innuendo into golden age wonder woman story as possibly. Like painting a mustache on the statue of liberty. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	taggerung301 2009-03-28 01:34 pm UTC (link)
	The sane part of my brain: "This is madness!" The insane part of my brain: "THIS - IS - SCANS - DAILY!!!" (kicks sane side into large pit) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	ashtoreth 2009-03-28 11:20 pm UTC (link)
	Nice one! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	tsuki_the_geek 2009-03-29 01:46 pm UTC (link)
	HA-- totally (Reply to this) (Parent)

bluefall
2009-03-28 02:23 pm UTC (link)

KANGA!

The art's not quite right, and on a good day, Marston could fit this much crack into two or three panels. It needs more ridiculously bad science, for one thing, and it's just not Golden Age Wondy unless somebody is having to do something against their will under the influence of the lasso.

That said, I am truly in awe of how close they were able to get, here, even while throwing in a few subtle, exaggerated teases (frex Steve's behavior toward Diana Prince). I mean, you shouldn't even be able to exaggerate Marston enough to tease. And the names! Callow! Dr. Weasle! It's a thing of beauty.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

brandiweed.livejournal.com
2009-03-28 02:52 pm UTC (link)

It's funny-- I was just reading a pretty cool book on the Vermeer art forgery hoax of WWII, and there was a discussion on how an "Uncanny Valley" sort of effect works in other imitations as well: the closer a forger gets to a perfect copy, the more "off" it seems to people familiar with the work. I wonder if that's what's kicking in here? (The lettering and inking does seem a little too crisp and clean-edged compared to the genuine vintage stuff, I find.)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	seriousfic 2009-03-29 02:06 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, up till I posted this I was convinced it was Golden Age, and only a last-minute Google search stopped me from looking like a newb. BTW, did you get my PM on LJ? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	bluefall 2009-03-29 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	::checks inbox:: The one you sent, uh, a month ago? >.> (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	seriousfic 2009-03-30 12:05 am UTC (link)
	Yes. Uh... puppy? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	meatwhichdreams 2009-03-29 11:51 pm UTC (link)
	Motto to all three counts! THAT'S what's off with this art...there's too little of it! Marston crammed the crack corner to corner, and if he couldn't fit another fetish in he'd call it a day. Frankly, I am appalled at the lack of bondage here! Appalled! But then again...they have KANGAS. Now all is forgiven. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ex_octopusso248 2009-03-28 02:32 pm UTC (link)
	My head imploded with all the homoerotic overtones. (Reply to this)

	gwalla.livejournal.com 2009-03-28 02:40 pm UTC (link)
	Wow, a literal deus ex machina! How about that? Waitasec... Veronica Cal~~low~~ Veronica Cale (Reply to this) (Thread)

	aegof.livejournal.com 2009-03-28 10:42 pm UTC (link)
	I was thinking the same thing about Veronica. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	surlytmpl 2009-03-28 03:32 pm UTC (link)
	I demand the return of Veronica Callow, Kangas, and random Holliday Girls to help Wonder Woman ~~tie up villainesses~~ promote the work of peace. (Reply to this)

	morgana006 2009-03-28 03:42 pm UTC (link)
	The best bit? She literally made it rain on their parade. That's just classy. That and - "I will not fight you, Wonder Woman. You are noble." (Reply to this)

	fungo_squiggly 2009-03-28 04:27 pm UTC (link)
	If Veronica had really wanted to "punish" Etta, she could have just taken away Etta's ice-cream cone. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	broblawsky 2009-03-28 10:31 pm UTC (link)
	Veronica isn't stupid. Take away Etta's candy, and she will shank a bitch. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	magus_69 2009-03-29 10:56 pm UTC (link)
	In the Pre-COIE days, candy is to Etta what the bracelets are to the Amazons. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	noahbrand 2009-03-30 05:54 am UTC (link)
	Do not interfere with the Etta Candy spanking scene. It's fine as is, apart from being too short. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	mullon 2009-03-28 04:40 pm UTC (link)
	If the art wasn't so fresh I would have thought this was the real thing. (Reply to this)

	nevermore999 2009-03-28 09:42 pm UTC (link)
	Yep, Steve Trevor is a horrible douchebag. I love how well they were able to get Golden Age Etta, and all the crack. Not quite as cracky as Marston...but close. Good stuff. (Reply to this)

	longhairedlady 2009-03-29 08:45 am UTC (link)
	This is a thing of beauty. (And I laughed so hard at your Morrisson reference. Now I want to see Morrisson on wonder Woman, with Zetta Candy as the equivalent of Zurr-en_ahh Batman's Bat Mite, sort of popping up and going "Uh Oh!" ) (Reply to this)

	tsuki_the_geek 2009-03-29 01:48 pm UTC (link)
	Needs to be a LITTLE weirder (and more preachy) to be Marston... but this was SO close/fun. Thanks for posting this adorable insanity (Reply to this)

psychop_rex
2009-03-29 04:07 pm UTC (link)

While this is pretty cool and funny, and DOES get fairly close to Marston (that 'Queen Turvy-Topsa of Upsa-Daisyland' is totally the sort of stuff that Golden Age WW went up against EVERY day), there are a couple of things that ring false to me.
First of all, Etta? Is not that fat. She was always portrayed as more of a short and pudgy dynamo than an outright lard-ass, which she is here. Also, she went more for candy than ice cream - where's the bon-bons?
Also, the writer seems to be confusing Wonder Woman with Superman here. Creating a storm with a clap of the hands? Blowing ships around on the ocean? That's Superman's territory. Back then, WW's powers were basically those of a 'super-athlete' - really strong, really fast, etc. And this was important, because, as I read it, the whole point of Wonder Woman was to inspire girls to go on to great things, to show them that they weren't weak just because they were female. Hence, Marston chose a range of powers that were exaggerated versions of stuff that regular girls could actually do. Marston's Wonder Woman couldn't possibly have done what she's shown doing here - she was never that powerful. (Point of fact, she STILL probably couldn't do it - apart from learning to fly and growing a great deal stronger, the character hasn't increased in power all that much over the years.) Then again, it's actually Superba doing it - but that brings its own set of problems, doesn't it?

"I have created a robot that is MORE POWERFUL THAN WONDER WOMAN! It can create storms with a handclap - blow ships back to shore - swat planes out of the sky! With such a powerful robot at ones side, one could RULE THE WORLD! And now it is yours, Miss Callow! What shall you do with it?"

"I shall NAME IT AFTER A PERFUME and use it to MAKE WONDER WOMAN LOOK FOOLISH!"

"...terrific. Just gimme my check."

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	meatwhichdreams 2009-03-29 11:53 pm UTC (link)
	And this artist has decided that Etta Candy can be further improved (IMPROVED! AS IF) by the judicial application of flipper arms in the last panel. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	psychop_rex 2009-03-30 02:51 am UTC (link)
	Hmm, hadn't noticed it before, but - yeah. That, too. Wow, that IS disturbing. At least she's saying 'woo woo'. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	meatwhichdreams 2009-04-01 12:08 am UTC (link)
	A sweet consolation indeed OH I KILL MYSELF HAHAHAHA (Reply to this) (Parent)

	(Anonymous) 2009-04-11 06:46 pm UTC (link)
	Actually, WW had various powers during random times in the Golden Age. She was known to do super strength tricks, have breath powers and the like, during one shot stories, so that she could do it in this was no real stretch. (Reply to this) (Parent)