InsaneJournal

The latest issue was surprisingly good, mostly because it's the team getting back to its roots. There's snark, gore and general badarsery. It's also a literal return, as we're simultaneously treated to two villains from The Authority's first run a decade ago. Eh, the plot barely makes sense in 20odd pages, let alone in four, so here's some of the random best bits.

Background:
The Authority, an independent superhero team that specialises in bastardry, are scrounging a meagre existence on post-apocalypse Earth after their trans-dimensional spaceship, the Carrier, crashed and half-merged with London.

Most recently, the crippled ship was invaded by Evil Bad Guy Kaizen Gamora, who’s used the downfall of international governments to step up his world domination plans. He’s also kidnapped Jack Hawksmore to torture him with expositional dialogue. Jack is not amused.


Meanwhile Midnighter is off in Scotland trying to hunt down a cure for his husband, Apollo, who’s currently mind controlled by an evil sun virus. Or something. Apparently this involves applying unconventional chiropracty to dragons.


Meanwhile Ruthless Selfish Guy Lorenzo, alien prince from parallel world Sliding Albion, kidnapped Swift and The Engineer as he wants Engineer to construct a portal so he can go home. The Engineer is not amused either. Halfway through working on the door she finds some lost alien tech from the Carrier and powers up. She loves guns.


It makes me ridiculously happy that Lorenzo picked up a few of Jenny Sparks' favourite insults. The were married, after all.


Awww, Lorenzo's not really a bad guy, he's just a manipulative arse. Engineer opens a door to Swift, who's still lost in the inter-dimensional bleed. Then a doorway to Sliding Albion opens and Lorenzo makes a run for it. Engineer spots him and orders the door closed at the very last second.


No Lorenzo, I think you'll find your bollocks were left behind on Earth. XD


So let’s get a roll call of the Authority boys:
Jack – getting tortured bloody by an enemy The Authority last knocked the pants off a decade ago
Habib (The Doctor) – Last seen running screaming from the Carrier the day of the apocalypse
Apollo – Fridged. Literally, he’s locked in a deep freezer until someone works out how to hill his evil, mind controlling virus.
Midnighter – Mucking about in Scotland with dragons (admittedly, for Apollo).

And the girls:
Jenny Quantum – Fate unknown, last heard from trying to contain the baby universe inside the Carrier and prevent the apocalypse
Swift and the Engineer – These fine ladies right here? Just out to save the world.