1st ad: Way to burn your bridges there, Bill. Not like you might ever need a reference or anything. Especially when your "dream job" you got from the 50s equivalent of Devry doesn't turn out as advertised.
2nd ad: Sally: "Say, is that place across the street where they make the G.I. Joe action fig--" Kenner Guy: "Oh, you don't want those, Sally. Those are boys' toys." Sally: "But I just wanted to see--" Kenner Guy: "Fine, Sally, guess you don't want a husband when you grow up."
3rd ad: Uh, kids, better keep an eye on what O.J. is doing with that sharp-looking pen.