alicia spinnet + sam anders
mention of violence | complete
If Alicia hadn’t been in a flat with Sam, she’d have been more of a mess than she already was. Between what happened when she was kidnapped to her sister deciding to stick around, Alicia was a mess. She did a pretty good job hiding it, but she wasn’t as quick to joke or wasn’t as playful as she normally was.
She and Sam had picked one of the rooms to share and the other to hold stuff for any of the people living in the flat. It made the most sense and Alicia preferred it that way.
They’d gone to bed at a decent hour, but Alicia was still looking up at the ceiling four and half hours later. Sleep had been difficult for her. She did her best not to bother Sam while he slept but she knew that he was aware of how little she was actually sleeping. She heard him turn over. Looking over she saw his eyes on her.
“I didn’t wake you up did I?” She whispered with a worried frown.
Sam had been sleeping, but he slept lightly. Always had, and weirdly finding out what he was meant he figured out he could kind of do it at will. He was part machine after all. And yet with all his Cylon power, he couldn’t save Alicia from what had happened. She didn’t sleep well anymore, and he hated to see her hurting.
But he could help her now.
“You didn’t wake me up babe,” he said giving her a soft kiss. “You’re still awake though, do you need to talk?”
Talking wasn't something Alicia was good at, not when it came to how she felt about all the stuff going on lately.
Shrugging she didn't really know what to say. "I just can't believe Elle wants to stay, I mean I can...." She let her words trail off.
“We both can. But the fact she’s here, it’s not gonna stop you being happy. She’s toxic, and she’s going to stay away from you. But not cause I say so, because you do.”
He moved to hold her in his arms, needing to comfort her. Because this wasn’t all about Elle. And he knew that, her being here hadn’t left her much time to process her ordeal.
“I’m here for you. You know that right? And so are the rest of your family and your friends, you’re never gonna be on your own.”
"Elle's..." She let her words drag off as she moved only slightly to cuddle into Sam a little be more. "I just think she's going to try something, it's Elle, it's in her nature, and she blames me." Alicia knew Elle wasn't the main thing she was struggling with. It was everything else too.
"I know you're here, and they are too, I just... I don't know how to handle having her here, I blamed myself for her death, and now she's here doing it and doing whatever she can to mess with my life." That was probably a little bit dramatic, but Alicia felt vulnerable.
“Elle’s an awful person. That’s what she is. And if she tries anything she goes the frak back home and we don’t need to deal with her. Ever again.”
He was worried about her, Elle on the heels of all she’d suffered at the hands of COS. It was cruel.
“I want you to talk to me Als, you’ve been through a lot lately, and I don’t want you keeping that inside. It’s just you and me here right now. Talk to me.”
Alicia didn't know what it was but frak still made her smirk, it was a funny word. "Unless she talks her way out of it," Alicia had seen her sister talk her way out of things she didn't think possible before. "But, I wouldn't be against her going home." Even if it did mean she was about to die which made Alicia feel a lot of conflicting emotions.
Alicia shut her eyes for a moment and could picture the water they'd been blasted with, oddly she felt was easy to focus on, at the time she thought about how she should tell herself it was nice to be clean.
"I don't know what to say, they tortured us in all different kinds of ways, with whips, with electric wands, water..."
Hearing it hurt. What they’d done and the fact he hadn’t been able to save her. He’d had to wait, and he’d trusted the teams they’d sent, but it wasn’t the same.
“I’m sorry,” he said simply moving to hold her. “I don’t know what else I can say because none of us saw this coming, and they decided the teams before I…”
He’d have asked. Begged to be let go, but Becker and Sharon probably knew he’d have gone hell for leather to get her back. He let his heart rule his head when it came to those he loved. Always had. Even, as he’d remembered, in his lives before.
“You’re here now. And I’ll help you through this. I couldn’t stop that, but I can stop Elle messing you around. This place does have lawyers you know, there’s always the option of a restraining order?”
"Hey, none of this is on you, and however they picked the teams they did, neither of us can control that and what's that thing about people not being personally involved, not that it ever works." She tried to smile softly.
It was easier trying to comfort him than accept it simply because she didn't want to think about it and being comforted made her think about it more. She knew she'd have to deal with it, but it wasn't going to happen fast.
She sighed thinking about her sister before looking at him with a puzzled expression. "You think they do restraining orders here?" She wasn't sure. "I think Bonnie'd jump on it if it is." It was easier thinking about other people. "I don't think a restraining order would work for me, with her being family and being around Emilia." She knew Rocco and Leo didn't want much to do with their big sis, but Emilia did.
“I know, I just...I should have been there for you. I say that fully aware I’d have made the same call in the same situation but, it bothers me I wasn’t there.” He didn’t know about the restraining orders, but it was worth looking in to. Though he’d be shocked if Bonnie and Liv already hadn’t done that. “Ask Edmund I guess. I mean there’s no harm in asking. And your sister...look if Elle is here long term, Emilia’ll see through her eventually. She loves you and your brothers. She’ll see what you see. I promise”
“I’m glad you weren’t taken too, no one should have to go through that shit, and you’re here now, that’s what counts.”
“Emilia’s never seen Elle for who she really is, she always see’s the best and hopes for the best, and I love that about Em, but she’s…” Alicia didn’t want to say naive, but in a lot of ways, her little sister was. “Em does love us, but she loves Elle too.”
“She’s a good person, and yeah sometimes those good people get hurt. But they also have their limits, and if Elle is stupid enough to cross her she’ll very well lose the last person in the world who gives a frak.” He sighed, wishing he could protect his girlfriend from the world. It wasn’t that he didn’t think she could take it on herself, she was incredible. But he wished she didn’t have to deal with a sister who probably chose to stay out of sheer spite.
“Enough about Elle for now though. She’s ruined enough already.”
Alicia didn’t have it in her to say she doubted even Emilia would have that level of enough. She always seemed to give people endless chances.
"We should probably try sleeping huh?" Alicia smiled softly. She knew they both needed sleep, they had busy lives in Atlantis.
“Yeah we should try,” he said, holding her close not wanting to let her go.
“Sleep now, and we fix the world a day at a time starting tomorrow, sound good?”
Alicia nodded cuddling in a little bit more into him shutting her eyes hoping she could fall asleep.