jacen solo (jacen) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2017-10-26 21:25:00 |
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Jacen Solo held a glass of spritzer water in one hand and the other was resting on the balcony fence as he glanced out over Atlantis. He was deep in thought and had been since the glass had been full of spritzer water about forty minutes ago. It was nearly empty now, but Jacen's thoughts were nowhere near to nearly empty. If anything he felt as if his thoughts had sped up in the past few moments as he contemplated what next steps he needed to take. The option of going home had occurred to him, but he knew that going home would not rid him of the responsibility of making the sorts of choices that he was making here. Besides which, going home would leave him without Tenel Ka or Allana, and, more importantly, would leave them here on their own which he did not wish to do at all. So, no, going home was likely not an option he could really, truly consider, yet, he was not comfortable either. Over the past year, he had been a part of multiple missions and while some of them had been largely peaceful, many had not been, and Jacen had to share some responsibility for that. These worlds that they were going to, while they were familiar to many of those that were here, they were worlds of their own, and it seemed to Jacen that they were meddling in ways that had, at times, created violence rather than to create peace and if they were not offering peace, then what were they doing? He sensed Tenel Ka before he heard her and he tilted his head, turning back over his shoulder and offering a wave of his hand for her to join him. Perhaps she would have some idea that he had not thought of. It was entirely possible. "There's likely more water if you want it," he nodded at the small table. "I've about ran through my glass, but I haven't drank it all - yet." He felt different. She couldn’t really place it but there was something just a little bit...off. Nothing bad. It wasn’t dangerous. It simply was. Perhaps it connected back to Atlantis somehow or perhaps he was just deep in thought. She didn’t always understand where he went when he got so introspective but things had certainly changed in his time away from her. It wasn’t always very unusual to find him lost in his own thoughts. She stepped up beside him, leaning on the balcony. “It is a very beautiful city. One could be forgiven for forgetting why we are here, lost in the beauty of the place.” He offered her some water and she shrugged slightly. “...No I’m fine for now, thank you.” she replied, trying to follow where his gaze had been. Trying to work out what he had been thinking about. Tenel Ka's presence was enough to pull him out of his revere for a brief period of time. Sometimes he was in awe of the fact that she wanted to be with him. No, not sometimes, a good percentage of the time. She was beautiful, strong, and genuinely one of the best people he'd ever had the privilege to know. And if there was something about Atlantis that was undeniably good, it was having Tenel Ka here by his side. He smiled instead of following up verbally on that line of thought and instead waved a hand at the city. "I'm wondering whether or not I should be involved in the next mission. Or," he paused a small frown crossing his face. "Maybe whether any of us should be." Well. That was...not what she had expected to hear from him. She’d heard opinions like that before but not in quite some time. He knew why they were here. Why they fought. He knew reality was in danger. Including theirs. “Jacen, what has brought this on. We are here because we chose this fight. Understanding the stakes, understanding what they asked of us we decided to stay. You fight because it’s who you are. You see injustice, you see evil and you fight it. You make these choices so that others may life in a world where such things are distant memories. You fight for Allana and children like her.” She moved closer to him tucking her one arm in his own. “Are you sure you are alright my love?” she asked, looking out over the same city. It seemed they saw it somewhat differently today. Usually their views were similar if not identical in this regard. Jacen reached his hand over Tenel Ka's, even as a burst of uncertainty spiked with her words. It had seemed very clear a moment ago that they were embracing too much violence as they moved through their missions, but that was thrown into question again with her words. He did trust Tenel Ka, but how could she not see that they might only be adding to and furthering the violence? "But what if we're only adding to it, Tenel Ka?" He asked her, earnestly. "What if by what we do, we only make things worse, make the lines deeper, push people further apart? What if fighting only increases the darkness, pushes us over the edge into something we can't come back from? What then?" He shook his head. "There has to be a better way to do this. Music, maybe. Or dance…" Jacen paused, wondering where that notion had come from. It really wasn't something he'd usually think of but it struck him suddenly as a fantastic one. He gave Tenel Ka a quick grin: "Maybe we should start an Atlantis music festival." He was being odd, thinking these things, even at his most introspective. When he had walked away from the Force altogether, he had found his way back. And he hadn’t thought thi way in a long while. Something had a hold of him. She could see that now. And if she hadn’t been able to then thoughts of a music festival would have given him away very quickly “Jacen, you do not play music. I do not play music. We listen to it yes, but...look, let us think about that tomorrow, hm? Think on it and if you still want to plan such a thing we can do that. But right now, focus on this, on us. On Allana.” She had never thought like that. War needed to be fought. It wasn’t nice. It wasn’t kind. It was what it was. And this place was at war. There were enemies that could not be argued with. And COS were, to her mind, and usually to Jacen’s, those people. “We stand against the dark together Jacen. Have we not always?” "Playing music has nothing to do with enjoying it," Jacen pointed out, taking another final sip of the water and putting it to the side. "Although perhaps I should take up an instrument," he looked over at her, a unmistakeable Solo grin on his features. It was easier to contemplate the idea of a music festival, than to really dig into the reality that they would be sent out on a mission again soon, more than likely, and he would need to determine what he was going to do. Was he going to say he wouldn't go? Would they force him to leave if he did? "Of course we stand against darkness, Tenel Ka, but maybe that's less of a - with weapons, and more of a - with love?" “...Love does not win wars Jacen” she said sadly. “I wish that it did. But you have seen the Mynok nest that is the Hapan Palace. Do you believe if I simply hugged the nobles they would have stopped trying to control me. Or my Grandmother? It is a nice idea Jacen. It is. But untenable. She did think there was something else at work here, something going on. But for now there was little point in trying to fight what that was, if it did not pass in a number of days she would question it further. “That said love, if you wanted to take up an instrument I would not stop you. Better that than more pets” she teased. Jacen raised an eyebrow and his grin stayed. "Who said anything about either/or?" he teased. "We could have more instruments and more animals. There's room for at least a pet or two or three in this apartment." Animals, and music, and he could write songs. All right, he'd never really been much of a writer, but he could get into that he thought - poetry and lyrics were similar and it could not be that difficult could it? He leaned forward and kissed her. "Together I suspect we could change the Hapan Palace, but it is more here that I am worried with." “Jacen, if you had your way I believe there would be hundreds of pets, each more worrisome than the last.” she said matching his grin with her own. She decided there was very little point in arguing with him about all of this and so she would leave him to his beliefs about instruments and animals and peace. It was a nice ideal and part of her desperately wished she could go along with it, he reminded her of the boy he had been, before life had taken away the hope that peaceful methods would win them wars. “Fact.” she agreed. “Together, I believe there is nothing we cannot do.”And that, she believed more than anything. |