nyota uhura has a talented tongue (justuhura) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2016-11-30 21:25:00 |
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He was sitting on one of the chairs on the roof, hands folded together with his elbows balanced on his knees, just looking out over the railing as best he could over the city lights. He had no idea what to say. He should have known Bones bringing Spock up would ensure Spock showing up. This...well, to be frank, this pretty much fucked everything up, he was sure. He’d never asked Uhura what exactly had happened between her and Spock, and now that he was here in Atlantis, there was always the possibility he’d want to fix things and she’d have to make a choice, and she’d choose Spock, just like Bones had warned. Hell, after the colossal mess he’d made the last week or so, he probably deserved it. He should have told her the day after they got back that he didn’t regret it. That he didn’t want it to be a repeat of any of the flings he’d had back home. He wanted something more if she wanted it. And if she didn’t, it was her choice, he’d respect that, but if she changed her mind he’d wait. There wasn’t a damn person on this island he liked half as much as her so yeah, he’d wait. And he’d have kissed her again, at least once, because that was something seared in his brain now. Something he didn’t want to forget. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear anyone come up, but he turned when he heard a noise behind him. “Hi,” he said, hoping he didn’t sound too nervous. That would be unbecoming of him, even if he was scared shitless. Uhura wasn’t really sure how she felt about Spock showing up. To be honest, she wasn’t sure how she felt about what had happened with Jim, either. Kissing him had been an impulse and probably a stupid one, but it had felt so good that she hadn’t wanted to stop. It would be lying to say that a part of her hadn’t been wondering what it would be like with him. While she wasn’t completely sure it had been a great idea, he certainly hadn’t disappointed in any way. Rather than deal with her conflicting emotions, she’d buried herself in work for the last several days. It was a convenient way to avoid Jim, as well, even if a part of her knew it was a pretty lousy thing to do. Avoiding him didn’t extend to not taking his calls or ignoring his messages, so when he’d asked her to meet him on the roof, she’d agreed to come up after she finished up what she was working on at the office. She’d been spending a lot of her time listening to comms channels, trying to intercept something, anything that would give the agency a clue as to what the bad guys were up to. It frustrated her that she hadn’t found anything useful, yet. She’d been holed up there when Spock had arrived and seeing that he was here hadn’t exactly made her want to leave her station anytime soon. “Hey,” she said, offering him a tentative smile as she walked toward him. She felt like she should apologize for, well, avoiding him, but she didn’t want to admit that’s what she’d been doing and everything else she could think of to say just sounded like a lame excuse. The smile on her face made him feel a bit more at ease, and he unclasped his hands and turned his whole body to face her. He'd sat on a lounger and after a moment patted the spot next to him. "I'm glad you came up here tonight," he said, giving her a grin in return. "I've missed being up here with you." Once they were settled he was at a loss for words for a moment, and then he remembered Daisy's advice: be honest. He took a deep breath and then turned to Nyota. "I don't regret anything that's happened between us since we got here," he said. "And I don't regret anything that happened in the cave. I know I have a not so stellar reputation, but I don't want it to be a fling. You deserve better than that. But if you and Spock..." He looked down at his hands. "If you want it to be a one-off thing now, all things considered, I understand." She sat down next to him and have him a more apologetic grin. “I know. Me, too,” she said. Even that sounded like a lame excuse, even without her adding that she’d been busy. It was true that she’d missed it, though. She’d missed him. Sitting next to him now made it hard to remember why she’d been avoiding being alone with him. At least, until he brought up what had happened between them. She still didn’t really know what it was she wanted, exactly. Were things over between her and Spock? She honestly didn’t know. After everything with Krall, it had seemed like he might change his mind about them, but they hadn’t actually talked about it. This Spock could be here from earlier and did that mean things were definitely over? It was confusing, to say the least, and sitting here with Jim didn’t do anything to make things feel any more clear. Mostly because she kept wanting to kiss him again. “I’m not sure what I want,” she admitted. It was kind of ironic that he was the one who wanted more while she wasn’t completely sure, given his reputation. She didn’t know that she regretted what had happened between them, exactly, but as much as she felt something for him, she didn’t think she was over Spock and she wasn’t sure where that left her with either of them. He understood, he did. This wasn't the ideal position for anyone, but especially not for her. But the fact that she was confused...probably didn't bode well for him, really. He should have guessed. "Well, when you figure it out, whatever you decide, I'll accept it," he said. "You've been my friend first. Hopefully we can go back to that." He ran a hand through his hair and then stood up, suddenly wanting to bolt. This was why he didn't get involved, he realized. "Glad we could talk." She knew it would probably make things easier if she just let him go, but when he stood up, so did she, and she reached for his hand. “Don’t go.” She realized it was selfish and completely hypocritical after she’d spent the last week and a half avoiding this very conversation, but as much as she didn’t know what she wanted, she knew him leaving wasn’t it. He looked down at their joined hands and began tracing circles on her palm with his thumb. He'd been dealing with an almost physical ache to be close to her for the entire time since the cave, an ache that had been hell at night and involved some pretty sleepless nights and tinkering with stuff in Zane's section of the warehouse with the man in question, learning more about the other places Zane had been to distract him from thoughts of Nyota. And being this close, he knew, was a bad idea. "I should go," he said quietly. "Because all I want to do is kiss you and hold you close, and peel away your clothing and kiss every inch of skin I can and show you I can do a better job than I did in the cave and I don't give a damn if anyone walks in on us. And that's not a good idea. So I should go before I make the situation worse." Nyota felt that same ache, even if she’d been trying to ignore it. She told herself it was just physical, that she couldn’t really be developing feelings for him. There were a hundred reasons why it was a bad idea and the fact that Spock was here- that was the least of it. A shiver ran down her spine as he told her why he should go. She knew he was right about that, that them being alone together wasn’t a good idea, but despite what the rational part of her brain was telling her, she tugged on his hand, using it to pull herself closer to him. “That’s a pretty tough act to follow,” she whispered. “I don’t think I believe you can do it.” As soon as she was close he felt...something he couldn't quite describe. But it was better. For the first time since they came back to the city he had a wide grin on his face that was actually genuine. He hadn't felt like this since the cave, before they had to go back to the others. He let her hand go and ran it up her back, letting his fingers trail along her spine as he bent his head, pressing his lips to her neck. "I think I can rise to the challenge," he said, biting her neck lightly, trying not to leave a mark. It wasn’t a good idea. She knew it wasn’t a good idea. Staying up here with him wasn’t going to do anything to make things less confusing for her. Some part of her knew she should pull away and not encourage anything more happening, but her skin burned where he touched it and when his mouth reached her neck, she couldn’t help responding. “You sure about that?” she teased him, barely biting back a moan. “That time in the cave was pretty damn good. I’m just not sure you can outdo yourself here, even if we do have a nice, heated pool at our disposal.” He let his hand drift down to the bottom hem of her shirt and jacket and let his hand slip under so his fingers were on her bare skin. He let his hand slid back up again and then skirted the edge of her bra, running it back and forth. He knew this was a bad idea but he didn't want to let her go. "Much as we could have some fun skinny dipping," he said, moving his lips to her jawline, "my roommate is spending the next few hours trying to convince Zane to give her ten cats, which means we have access to a bed." He then moved his lips along her jawline and then up to the corner of her mouth. "And a shower. And I think I can do wonders in both.” She knew from the experience in the cave that he was very, very good at this, but even the memory of what had happened between them over a week ago couldn't really compare to the reality of having his hands on her. His touch had burned against her skin before he'd slid his hands under her clothing. That had been nothing compared to how good feeling his fingers on her skin was. She barely processed the words he was speaking beyond the words skinny dipping, bed and shower and she only nodded vaguely, not sure which option appealed to her more. Avoiding him had seemed like a good idea for the last several days, but it had the side effect now or making her crave every touch even more. She was making small sounds, hitched breaths and bitten back moans, and there honestly wasn't anything that had turned him on more in a long time. If he hadn't been avoiding her he didn't know if this need he was feeling would be so great, but it was now and neither of them seemed to be doing the logical thing and walking away. Finally he gave in and kissed her, letting his hand slide down to rest on the small of her back as he pulled her as close against him as he could. Part of him wanted to just lavish every inch of her skin with kisses right there and give her an evening to remember, but he had to maneuver them to his room first. Easier said than done when kissing her was absolutely incredible and all consuming. The effect he was having on her right now was probably partly because she'd been avoiding him for as long as he'd been avoiding her. Some rational part of her knew that and knew she should put a stop to this. It wasn't fair to him when less than a minute ago she'd told him she didn't know what she wanted. And meant it. It was hard to think logically when they were this close, though. She pressed herself against him as she kissed him back. They both probably should have been freezing with as cold as it was outside. The sun hadn't quite gone down, yet, but it was later in a day that hadn't been incredibly warm to begin with. Despite the chill in the air, she didn't feel cold at all. She knew that would probably change if they actually did go skinny dipping and somehow she was capable of enough rational thought to realize that. “Your roommate’s definitely out?” She somehow managed to get out between kisses. Eddie hadn't been spending a lot of his evenings in their apartment, but she didn't actually know if he'd be home or with Jill at this time of day and the promise of an empty apartment just a couple of floors below them- if they could actually pull away from each other long enough to make it down there, that could be good. He nodded, using the opportunity to catch his breath and nod. "Yeah. Daisy either goes over to Zane's apartment for cat time or to the warehouse with him for tequila shots and tech. Tonight it's cats. She'll be out till at least nine." he went back to running his hand up her back again. "Longer if they break out booze." Rather reluctantly, he pulled his hand from under her clothes and reached for her hand, gently tugging her next to him and heading towards the stairs. After a moment he looped his arm around her waist, sliding his arm under the hem of her clothes so skin was touching skin. This...this felt right. Maybe he'd be lucky and it'd be the norm. But he'd think about that later, not tonight. Tonight was just whatever happened tonight. If it was all he got..he'd take it. |