Claire Callahan (troubledshrink) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2017-08-09 10:21:00 |
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9 AUGUST
CLAIRE CALLAHAN + KATHERINE PIERCE
Veritaserum plot
her office | rating PG-13
complete
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Things had finally started to feel like they’d gone back to normal, well as normal as Atlantis could be that was. She felt like she’d gotten to a good footing with Kai again, even if it was still sometimes awkward, her other patients she was pleased with their progress and all in all things were looking good. That was until she noticed that her ability to filter had completely gone away. Her first patient that morning she’d told that they needed to stop acting like a two-year-old every single time something didn’t go their way, said patient fled her office and Claire was left wondering what the hell happened or why she’d said that. At lunch when she was asked how she liked her food, she’d been overly honest about how she thought it had a little bit too much salt on it and she wondered if they’d hired someone new that happened to be incompetent. Claire made sure to leave a big tip. Luckily the rest of her day was pretty empty, so she sat in her office trying to stay away from people, that’s when she heard a knock on the door. She considered pretending she wasn’t there but instead she called out. “Enter at your own risk.” Just when she thought she was getting used to the way things were around Atlantis something came along that seemed to throw a wrench in the works. Katherine was convinced that the very universe had it in for her. It was probably a little dramatic but after all she’d learned about things back home that she’d yet to live through she felt she’d earned the right to be a little dramatic. Normally she wouldn’t have bothered seeking out someone to talk to, that wasn’t how she dealt with her problems but she couldn’t deal with things the way she normally would here. If she did she’d get sent home and she’d made a promise to Kai that she’d be careful and not do anything to risk either of them getting sent home or losing what few privileges they had here. So with her usual methods denied she had to find other ways of dealing with things and part of her had to admit that talking to Claire when she’d first gotten here had helped her a little bit. It was for that reason that she found herself outside of Claire’s office on a day that had seen Katherine be brutally honest with more people than she normally would be. She’d just put it down to having gotten out of the wrong side of the bed, which now that she thought about it was a pretty stupid saying really. She mulled over that thought as she knocked on the door and waited for a response from the other side. When she heard Claire’s voice she entered, flashing the woman a half-hearted smile she didn’t wait to be asked to take a seat before doing so. “Where did the saying getting out of wrong side of the bed come from? I mean who is it that decided there was a wrong side anyway? And is the wrong side different for each person depending on which side of the bed you sleep on? What if you sleep on both sides and don’t have a set side of the bed?” Being a shrink, Claire had heard a lot of strange openers. She'd seen people barge in and say nothing at all, barge in and get upset about the color of the coffee table. So, when Katherine sat down and started rambling on about the wrong side of the bed she wasn't all too surprised. "I take it you aren't have a very good day thus far?" Claire asked as she put down her cup off coffee, crossing her legs. "And I have no idea where the statement came from, although I would assume it has more to do with waking up in a bad mood than what exact side of the bed you happened to sleep on last night, because if there is a set wrong side of the bed a lot more people would be waking up on it." Katherine wasn’t entirely sure where the ramble had come from either, she’d been thinking about it as she’d stood on the other side of the door and then it had just tumbled out of her when she’d walked in. She didn’t normally just spill whatever was on her mind, it was a little bit alarming to not know what had caused the outburst. “My day has been okay, I mean I made some poor girl cry because I told her that her hair made her look like she’d just crawled out of a ditch but that’s her bad not mine,” Katherine said as she watched Claire put down her cup. “I was simply thinking about it because I’ve been extra harsh to people today and I thought maybe I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and that caused the extra bitchiness. My mood was fine when I woke up, it was pretty great actually but then that’s what morning sex does for the mood.” A slightly shocked expression on her face as she realised what she’d just said. Oh yeah this was going to be an extremely long day. "It sounds like you are being overly truthful, I think it's going around," Claire started, "although, I wouldn't be surprised if you insulted someone's looks on an average day." That was truth, and Claire was aware that Katherine wasn't the kindest person in Atlantis. "So, what exactly is the problem? That you made someone cry, or that you feel something about it?" “Wow, you went to school to be able to come out with things like that?” Katherine said before she could even think to stop herself. “Insulting someone’s looks is beneath me, why would I even waste my time doing that?” Normally she wouldn’t but today she did seem to be going out of her way to do just that. “I don’t care that I made that person cry, that wasn’t why I came to talk to you. I came to talk to you because I want to rip Elena’s heart out and I made a promise to someone that I wouldn’t do anything stupid so I thought maybe talking to you about it would make me less inclined to actually want to take my revenge on that stupid bitch who stole everything from me and when I say everything I do literally mean everything.” "Yeah, I did, and amazingly I got the shiny degree and everything," Claire said with a shrug. She always had been blunt, this was just a little bit over the top, even for her. "Probably to make yourself feel better, you have a complex of needing to win, and when you feel like you aren't, or you can't you lash out. Therefore putting someone else down to make yourself feel better really isn't that out of the realm, especially if said someone has something you want." Oh yeah, this being honest thing wasn't going to go well. "Why do you think you are so fixated on Elena when by all accounts you had great morning sex? What is it about Elena that you just can't let go of?" “Look at you with the shiny degree and everything,” Katherine said, glancing down at her fingers and studying her nails for a moment as if she was bored with the conversation. “I was feeling fine, I just thought she had the right to know just how awful her hair looked, I mean she really did look like she hadn’t introduced a brush to it for weeks. She didn’t have anything I want, I have everything I want, well not everything but that’s why I’m here, to talk about that.” She glanced back up at Claire, studying her. “Oh trust me I had really great morning sex, Kai never disappoints in that department. And I’m not fixated on Elena, she took my life from me, she literally took my vampirism from me and left me to suffer as a human, offered me up as a sacrifice to some ancient ‘evil’ and then she laughed about it all as I lay dying. The bitch deserved to suffer, not live a happy life after everything she did to me.” "I'm sure the sex was amazing, and yet you are in here bitching about Elena, again, have you stopped to consider any of the horrible things you've done or maybe why she took your life, as you so dramatically put it?" Claire leaned forward. "Listen, I got hit by this truth thing too, so I'm not sure how much I can help you today, because frankly, you are someone who is borderline psychopathic, you care more about yourself than anyone else and you have a tendency to think everything is someone else's fault, when was the last time you bothered to stop and think about your own actions and the negative impact they have on others and for that matter yourself?" Well that was unexpected. “Excuse me? Aren’t you supposed to be on your patient's side or impartial or something? I know I’ve done horrible things but I did them to survive because guess what, I actually quite like being alive. And how is it dramatic when the actions she took directly resulted in my death?” Katherine sat up straighter and stared straight at Claire. “And as for the psychopathic remark how is it that you turn round and sling that at me yet I know you’ve gone out of your way to help Kai who is a self-confessed sociopath and mass murderer? Talk about having double standards or is that just because I’m a woman and I’m not your type? You don’t really know the first thing about me so maybe reserve your judgements until you know the whole truth like how my own father took my baby away from me before I even had the chance to hold her, all because she was born out of wedlock. Or the fact that I was supposed to be a sacrifice so Klaus could become the all-powerful hybrid he wanted to be? I may have done some damage to myself but it doesn’t even compare to what others have done to me. So maybe have a little bit of compassion for someone that has only ever tried to find love and had it snatched away every damn time it’s within reach.” "You are so fixated on something else, someone else, it is always about you surviving, did you really turn people to survive, or did you do it because it suited you at the time and it was fun? Katherine, you have an extreme case of being unable to look past yourself and your own selfish needs, not everything you did was about survival, and yet you like to label it that way to make yourself come out as the victim without any regards for the consequences of your actions." Claire leaned back. "What happened to you is horrible, and it is wrong, what your father did, what Klaus did, those are wrong, but they are not responsible for all of your behaviors and actions. The simple fact is, is that until you can stop playing the blame game and constantly trying to play the victim, you're never going to make progress or be able to move forward. You blame everyone else for your actions, and Kai knows exactly what he is, perhaps you should be looking at figuring out who you are instead of worrying about other people." “I did it all because it was either do that or die, okay maybe the odd one was for fun of for my own selfish reasons but I never claimed to be perfect. I know I’m not perfect but I’ve only ever wanted to survive and to have love. Is that really such a bad thing to want in life? Maybe I should think about the consequences of my actions but really I don’t care, as long as I’m alive I don’t really care what happens to others.” Katherine continued to stare at Claire, wondering what it was that had triggered the sudden attack on her as a person. “What they did to me made me react the way I did. I’m not saying they’re responsible for my actions but what they did to me shaped me into what I am today. I take responsibility for my actions. I know what I am and I know what I’ve done. So I don’t cry over it, is that what you want me to do? Cry over every bad thing I’ve ever done because I won’t, I don’t regret a thing, I’d do it all again if I had to because it kept me alive. And I know who I am, I’m not worried about other people but I do want to make certain people suffer. I’m not alone in that regard though, Kai also wants to make people suffer but I bet you don’t tell him what you just told me. So really, why the double standard? Why is it okay for him to want to make people suffer but it’s not okay for me?” "My god you are dramatic," she'd have said the same thing to Kai had he been the one sitting across from her. Most of her patients were insanely dramatic, and Katherine was high on that list. "How on earth are you supposed to have love when you don't actually care what happens to other people. It doesn't work that way. You have to actually give a shit about someone other than yourself." Claire was starting to just get more annoyed than anything else. "What is your fixation on comparing yourself to Kai, and what Kai and I talk about isn't any of your business, and in fact, I think you should go, now." Claire could at least manage getting that out before answering the other questions started. "Actually, I have told him what I just told you, just using a little bit better language and a less direct approach, there aren't any double standards, and he's more charming than you are, less about blaming everyone around him. Sure he does that too, but not nearly to the narcissistic degree in which you do." “I said I don’t care what happens to the people I hurt, I care about some people, just not them,” Katherine said, some of the bluster being knocked out of her. Deep down she knew Claire had a point but her words cut her, it brought up all her insecurities about herself and how she would never find what she so desperately wanted. “I do give a shit about someone other than myself,” she said, not really wanting to admit to that but it slipped out. “You’re making me leave?” Katherine said, shock clear on her features as she just sat there. “And I’m comparing myself to him because we understand each other, we know what each other is and we never felt the need to deny ourselves what we want when we’re together.” It was Claire’s next words that made her realise something she hadn’t even considered before now. “Oh my god, you like him don’t you. You’re right, he is charming, probably one of the most charming people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. And you fell for it, I mean I don’t blame you in the least but don’t even try and deny it. You only turned on me when I said it was Kai who I’d had amazing morning sex with so either it’s the fact I had sex at all or the fact it was with Kai that caused the outburst. I’m betting it’s the latter. Just tell me I’m wrong, tell me I’m wrong and I’ll leave right now.” "Are you saying you've never hurt people that you care about on purpose," Claire had looked up all of her patients, read about them in some cases watched things to make sure she got the right story, it helped a lot in helping other people. "If that's true, you may want to exam why you don't act like it." Sighing she nodded. "Yes, I am asking you to leave because this is counter productive to your treatment, and as it is, I will be assigning you another doctor." It was the ethical thing to do. "You're right, I do like him, he is charming, and that's as simple as that." Claire couldn't help laughing at Katherine's attempt at why Claire had turned on her. "Seriously? You think I 'turned' on you because you slept with Kai? How pathetic do you think people are? Yes, I am a little jealous, I haven't had morning sex in a while, and of course, I've wondered how good he is or isn't in bed, but everything I said, has to deal with you, nothing with him." Some egos really did amaze her. "Have a good day." She liked hearing that Katherine would leave. “No, I’m not saying that. I have hurt people I care about on purpose when they’ve hurt me.” Katherine wasn’t sure why she’d done some of the things she had looking back now, revenge mostly but in the long run she hurt herself more and she was starting to realise that. “I don’t act like it because it’s easier.” Katherine smiled slightly, shaking her head. “No, you’re not going to assign me to another doctor,” she told her, settling back in her seat again. “Do you think I’m an idiot? You really expect me to believe that it’s that simple?” She knew there was more to it than that, she hadn’t lived as long as she had by not being good at reading people. “Well you have to admit that the way you suddenly went on the attack was very well timed to go along with the mention of me having sex with him. I never said it was pathetic, jealousy is a very strange emotion, one I am intimately familiar with and I know how it can make me act. I mean I get it, I understand the attraction of course but isn’t it unethical to continue to treat someone you’re attracted to. I can’t imagine those in charge here would be thrilled to find out their shrink is interested in one of her patients and has thought about how good he is in bed, he’s pretty damn good by the way. Maybe you’re right, I need to do everything you said but I’m more interested in how that all came tumbling out when it did.” This had nothing to do with her own ego, for once she was thinking about someone else. “You misunderstood me, Claire. I said I’d leave if you told me I was wrong. I’m not going anywhere until you’ve told me more about just how charming you find our friend.” "Are you trying to black mail me? Because if that's the case, you've got the wrong person to try that with." Claire would sacrifice herself for the good of patients, that and she didn't take kindly to anyone trying to blackmail her. "God, your ego is just amazing, have you ever considered you are just annoying, and one noted, probably not, but that's okay, because please, use whatever I tell you while I can't help to tell the truth against me, that's fine, go for it." Claire meant it too, clearly. "Actually, it's unethical to react on any of it, feeling something is very human, and normal. Yes, there was a moment while during the faction stuff that it was acted on, and that's it. You are right, I wasn't ethical in keeping that to myself, and please, I implore you to write a statement, I'll even sign it, because it is true, I should have stopped treating him at that time, but to think any of my reactions to you has anything to do with him is very self centered of you, you have noticed I can't help but tell the truth right now haven't you? Or has that fact passed you by in an attempt to blackmail me?" She was very simple about it. “And yes, I have had dreams about sleeping with Kai, they were good too, even feelings, he’s good looking, interesting, I see more there, but that doesn’t really matter, because it’s nothing you can use against me, and if you think of playing it as it will hurt Kai, he knew the risks and I will still tell the truth should you try and force my hand.” Standing up she moved to the door opening it. "Now, if you don't mind, the door is here, or I will call security to show you out, and don't think about threatening me, because no matter what you think you have on me, that doesn't take away on who we are, which is really more important in the end, and I did just say I'll happily admit to my wrong in regards to treating Kai Parker, now, the door." “No I’m not trying to blackmail you, I won’t lie I was considering it for a moment but you’ve just said there’s no point and I believe you.” Katherine had clearly underestimated the woman in front of her. “No, I hadn’t considered it honestly. But maybe you’re right, maybe I am just annoying and one noted but it’s a little hard not to be when I’ve spent so long trying to just survive, I don’t know how to do anything else.” It was a starting admission but then it seemed to be a day for them. “You acted upon it? When the faction stuff happened? That was the time I arrived, I knew something was going on, he said something when we were together and I never even considered it. Not that it matters. We weren’t ourselves at all at the time. And as you’ve stated yourself I am self-absorbed, I only think of myself most of the time but I’m not going to blackmail you,” she repeated, swallowing down her own momentary anger at the thought of something happening with her and Kai. Her more immediate concern was how anything she did now might end up hurting Kai. “I don’t want to hurt him,” she admitted. “I was thinking maybe I could blackmail you into helping him more but I know now anything I do here will end up hurting him, I don’t want to do that at all.” She didn’t react at first as Claire got up. It was only when she moved to open the door. She glanced at the other woman, something uncertain in the way she looked up at her. “I didn’t even come here for this, I really did come here because I wanted to talk about how finding out what happened to me back home had made me feel. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Can we just put this down to the randomness of Atlantis? I really did want to talk about my feelings and how I think I’m in trouble, I think I need help and I thought you could help me because I know you’ve helped him but it’s fine, I’ll leave, you’re right I should just leave.” Claire wasn't sure Katherine understood honesty enough but managed not to need to say any of that. Instead, she listened, nodded, and eventually spoke once more. "Once I am back in control of myself, I would be willing to try and help you, should you want it, but it cannot happen until after whatever is going on now ends." Claire couldn't help herself. "But for now, I am closing my doors until further notice." |