clarke griffin (elise daniels) (deathishergift) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2017-07-22 22:26:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, *hannah, *lena, clarke griffin, octavia blake |
Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin June 7th; around dinnertime Octavia's Apartment Standard 100 Warnings Complete |
How in the hell had she become the new Heda? The moment Octavia woke up from what felt like a weird dream, she felt dizzy, sweaty, and out of breath from everything that she’d just seen. She’d had the weird dreams of herself in other realities before, but this had been different. Her dreams were always of a different life or of the past. They had generally always included the people she lost like her mother and Lincoln. This.. was of the future. Her future if she were to go back home, and as it turned out she hadn’t been the only one to get brand new memories either. Clarke had a whole six years worth of them compared to Octavia’s few months. It was a lot to take in, especially when she was supposed to be meeting with Becker to help him with the mission at base command. She was distracted but was mostly able to push past it and get the job done by following his lead. Just as she apparently had been able to do back home. Except people were following her lead. Because she was the Commander of all twelve clans and had nearly ordered the execution of her people before they finally had made the decision to choose their survivors. What was her life? It wasn’t long after she’d gotten off of a shift that she found herself back in her apartment and was heating up something to eat in the microwave. Leftover pizza from the night before. The beeping of the timer had just gone off when she heard a knock at her door. Octavia sat the pizza down on the counter and went to answer the door. “Clarke, hey,” she said with a little bit of surprise. Then again, she probably wasn’t that surprised to see her here after they’d both gotten new memories. And considering some of what had happened in those memories. It was the first time she’d really faced Octavia since she and Jaha had taken the bunker during the Conclave. Avoiding her would have been tempting, now that they both had those memories. Clarke wasn’t even sure what she was supposed to say. She still didn’t know what had been right. Taking the bunker to save her people? Letting Bellamy go? She hadn’t been able to pull the trigger and that made all the Skaikru who died out there her fault, but after the last 6 years, after the rubble had buried the bunker too deeply for her to dig them out when it was just her and Madi, did it even matter anymore? She’d knocked on Octavia’s door, knowing it was better to do this sooner rather than later, but she didn’t have any better idea what to say when Octavia opened the door. Did she apologize for something she wasn’t sure she was sorry for? Hug her for the relief of seeing her again when she had no idea what had happened to any of the people they’d tried to save? “I thought we should talk,” she said finally, shifting her weight awkwardly from one foot to another. At the very least, Octavia would understand how strange it felt to have those memories from home mingling with the memories of their time with Atlantis, so maybe if she was lucky her first instinct wouldn’t be to punch her. Octavia really had no idea what she was supposed to say. Her relationship with Clarke had always been complicated at best, but being in Atlantis away from everything that always happened back home had seemed to help that at least a little. But the memories from home were still fresh in her mind, and it was hard to know what to do or how to react. “Yeah, we probably should.” Without saying much, Octavia moved to sit down on the couch and figured Clarke would eventually do the same. They wouldn’t have to worry about anyone barging in on their conversation since she was out a roommate again. She’d not had one more than she’d had one since she’d been here. “So…,” she started awkwardly. “Life on the ground still sucks, apparently.” Clarke laughed a little at that. “Some things never change,” she commented. Life on the ground had always sucked, almost since the moment they’d landed in the drop ship. Every time they thought they’d found some peace, something else would happen. Even with the missions, Atlantis had been a welcome break from all of that. “I just wish I knew more about what the rest of you have been up to,” she added after a moment. “I wish I knew more about what we had been up to, too,” Octavia said. There was so much that she didn’t understand and so many unanswered questions. “I just wished I knew for sure whether or not the others made it to the Ark. Raven doesn’t remember anything new, and I haven’t talked to Bellamy about it yet.” On one hand, she didn’t really want to know if her brother and the other had died, but the not knowing was so much worse. “Six years though. That seems such a long time after all that we’ve been through on the ground.” Six years was a long time when you were one of the only people left on the planet. Clarke nodded her head, agreeing with Octavia’s words. “It felt long, too,” she admitted, “but it was different from the other stuff we went through. It was a different kind of fighting for survival.” It was also being apart from her people, all of them. A year had passed before she and Madi found each other and after that it had been just the two of them. She’d talked at Bellamy every day, even knowing he couldn’t hear her, she’d wondered why they didn’t come back when it was safe. There had been plenty to do, but there had still been times when the time had dragged by. She’d wondered if she would ever see any of the other people she loved again. And lonely. Octavia would have probably lost her mind if she’d been alone like that. Clarke said she’d found a little girl, another nightblood, somewhere along the way, but the solitude reminded her too much of being alone on the Ark. They had a whole world to explore, still it would have been hard. Just as she imagined living in that bunker would have been hard. She had so many questions, but she was almost glad that she hadn’t gotten memories from the six years they’d been locked underground. “I guess. Not that there’s much we can do about it here or anything. Unless we choose to go back. They say that anyone who chooses to go back goes back to the exact time they came from, but we have all these new memories. Do we go back to the time we came from or the last thing we remember from the new memories? Because otherwise, we’d know the future.” Though, if they were sent back to the last thing they remembered from the new memories, she and Clarke would be going back to totally different times. Clarke nodded. Knowing what had happened to the others wouldn’t mean they could change anything. She had no idea how to answer Octavia’s question. What did happen when they went back? She couldn’t think of anyone who had gotten new memories the way they had who had gone home and come back, much less with their memories of Atlantis intact, so there was really no way of knowing. “I guess we’ll know if one of us goes home,” she said after a moment. She didn’t see any of them making that choice, but she also knew some people had gone back without warning. Bellamy had done that months ago and told her it hadn’t been his choice when he’d come back. “Yeah, I guess so.” Octavia wasn’t even sure if she wanted to go back at this point. Not after being here for so long and learning about the shit that happened there. Being Commander freaked her the hell out. She missed some of the people there, Indra especially, but she’d hardly wish for her mentor to show up here. She would have been miserable. Although the hardest part of her memories was seeing herself with Ilian. Someone she had somehow had managed to… well, not move on but taken comfort in to a degree. It was just so strange. She felt like she had experienced it in her mind, but there was still a disconnect to it because she knew that she’d still been here. To go from nearly executing him to actually feeling something for him and hating herself for ending his life during the conclave. And she so wasn’t bringing any of that up with Clarke or anyone. As far as she could tell, no one really knew about it back home either. “Do you want something to eat? I’m definitely not cooking anything, but I can have something delivered.” Yeah, Octavia had really gotten used to living in Atlantis by now. Clarke wasn’t sure she was hungry, but she found herself nodding, anyway, realizing that eating would give her something to focus on other than the new memories. She wasn’t planning to force Octavia to talk about the specifics, not that Octavia could actually be made to do anything she didn’t want to do, anyway, and she didn’t especially want to talk much about her own stuff. “Sure,” she said, laughing at the comment about having something delivered. Life in Atlantis was a lot different from home and it had taken some getting used to, but they had both acclimated pretty well by now. Being able to order food was a luxury she wasn’t sure she would ever get tired of. “What are you in the mood for?” she asked. Making small talk about what to eat somehow seemed easier than talking about what had become of their friends. “Pizza?” Since showing up in Atlantis, Pizza had been something Octavia had definitely taken a liking to. It didn't matter what they put on it, all of it was good to her. The choice seemed to be good with Clarke, so she decided to go online with her ordering instead of making the phone call. She decided on a few toppings and a couple of pizzas to be able save the leftovers for later. Octavia wasn't exactly the domestic type, so easy meals and take-out were a regular thing for her. Once it was all ordered, she sat leaned back on the couch and sighed. There was a lot she wanted to say and a lot she probably could say about the memories that had been slammed into her head, but she decided that it was probably best to let it all stay buried on the Ground at home. Her relationship with Clarke had always been a little complicated thanks to different priorities and loyalties to different people, but ever since they'd been in Atlantis, things had been better. They weren't fighting for their lives and survival as they had been. And Octavia didn't think she ever wanted to go back. At least not right now. |