Grantaire has a vague amibition (drinkwithme) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2017-06-30 23:21:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, *briege, *rachel, *tina, enjolras, eponine thenardier, grantaire |
Enjolras, Grantaire and Eponine
June 6th
Enjolras's room
Low, but mentions of death and alcoholism
Complete |
When Grantaire had woken that morning, he hadn’t wanted to move from his bed. The memories of the barricades were still too raw. Perhaps they always would be. He couldn’t imagine a time when they wouldn’t. Still, there were two things he wanted at the moment, wine, and his Apollo. Wine, he had to get up for. Apollo. Well, Apollo was right there. Rolling over, he pulled his love tight to his chest. Clinging to him for all he was worth, until the withdrawal finally pushed him to leave the bed, and stumble into the living area where his wine had been left, after pressing a kiss to golden curls. The bottle raised straight to his lips, as he sank into a chair. Sighing in satisfaction, as the heady taste of merlot poured down his throat. As he put the bottle back down on the side table, he looked up as Enjolras entered the room. His eyes tired and bloodshot, from the lack of actual sleep. He was more than relieved that he had had the forethought to book this week off. He’d been awake. When Grantaire had held him close. He should have said something, should have comforted him, but it had taken all he had not to break. And today he had to be the strong one. Today he had to be there for him. And for Eponine. It was because of him neither had a life to go back to, and as much as he’d stopped blaming himself...sometimes it was too raw. And today it was more so than ever. He stayed still for some moments after Grantaire left, knowing exactly what he was doing. But he found he didn’t want to be alone today. Not for a second. “...could I interest you in a coffee to go along with that?” he asked, watching him as he moved to the kitchen to start making himself a cup whatever the answer. The ease of coffee acquisition was one thing that Grantaire really liked about Atlantis. Including the timer on the coffee machine. “Please.” His thirst for wine had been quenched, and he abandoned the wine where it was as he followed Enjolras into the kitchen. Wrapping his arms around the other man as he poured the coffee. Something he didn’t think he would ever tire of. Not even on this day. “What time is Eponine getting here?” “Soon. I told her ten” he said, glancing at the clock which told him it was close to that. And the girl was punctual. “I’m making one for her too.” he said indicating the third cup. He smiled softly at the arms wrapping around him. “I thought it would be better for her to be with us today. Even if we just sit and...I don’t know what people do to relax but, that. She was the first one that…well, you know as well as I?” Grantaire pressed a kiss to Enjolras’s cheek, before pulling away to take his coffee cup. He took his Apollo’s hand in his, and dragged him through into the living room, and onto the sofa to wait for Eponine’s arrival. “It is not a day that any of us should be alone.” Grantaire smiled sadly. “The done thing for remembering battles appears to be drinking. Or at least, that is what some of the magically inclined did on the anniversary of one of their battles last month.” Drinking. Yes. Of course it would be. And yet he had never felt right about it. He might indulge slightly but he had seen what drink did to Grantaire. His reliance on it. The hold it had on him. And so he followed him to the living room. But did not partake in any such thing himself. “We will not be alone, she will not be alone, but I’ll mourn in my own way.” He sat back hand loosely in Grantaire’s, awaiting Eponine’s arrival. Éponine had spent the last few days going over her memories of what had been going on back home before she’d picked up that coin. She had tried not to think about it all but it was impossible not to with the date rapidly approaching. It had left her feeling out of sorts and her friends had noticed. She’d assured them she’d be fine and that it would pass and it would, she just needed to take the day and spend it with those that understood. She’d gotten up early, in truth she hadn’t really slept well so she had spent the last hour walking quietly waiting for it to be time to head to meet her friends. She didn’t want to be too early. She checked her watch as she wandered around, it was close enough to ten that she wouldn’t be rude to show up now so she headed to their apartment. When she reached the door she knocked lightly. A bag of pastries in her hand that she’d picked up on the way. She stood patiently waiting for someone to let her in or for a voice to invite her in. Grantaire wasn’t exactly happy with the reliance he had on the demon drink. Never had been. But, it was the only way he knew to quiet his demons. His issues. He knew from what he had seen, that perhaps there were other ways to deal with those things here. But, the idea of asking about it...well it did not sit well with him. Although, he knew that if his friends asked it of him, he would try all the same. Still, he sat there quietly enjoying the quiet company of his Apollo, his best friends hand in his until the knock on the door sounded. He stood up quickly to open the door with a flourish, and a bow. “Welcome to Tartarus, Mademoiselle.” He looked up as the door knocked and Grantaire went to admit Eponine. They all had their own ways to deal with all of this but ultimately together, they were stronger. Especially today. Eponine and Grantaire had settled better than he had, made friends, grown close to people. It took him longer. It always had, letting people close. But in that time he had a good friend in Eponine and...so very much more in Grantaire. He worried about them. Especially today. “Tartarus...don’t be dramatic” he said slightly amused, even today “It is hardly that, come in Eponine” Despite the mood of the day it was hard not to smile slightly when the door opened and she was greeted by Grantaire. The smile slipped away quickly, replaced by a sober expression more fitting with how they were all feeling. “But if he wasn’t dramatic then he wouldn’t be the man we know,” she said as she entered the apartment. Éponine had settled into life in Atlantis properly, she had friends here but today was a day to be spent with those who understood, who had been through the same things she had. “I agree though, things aren’t quite that bleak for us. We are here at least and we should make the most of what we’ve been given.” “You know me so well, my dear.” Grantaire grinned, in that way that didn’t quite meet his eyes. “Ah, so are we in the Elysium Fields then? This hardly seems like the mood that should be rife there. We should be more joyful.” “Anyway, would you like a drink, dear Eponine? We have tea, coffee or wine.” Joyful… It was not a word he would use sat with two people he’d gotten killed for his cause. But here they were all the same and they were here to remember their friends. He had no right to wallow. Not with them here. “And how does one become joyful. As I recall there are other methods to ensure this than wine” He got to his feet glancing to Eponine. “Sit...I will get the drinks” “I feel like it’s a little early for wine for me so I’ll take a coffee, thank you,” she said as she smiled softly at her two friends. She wasn’t sure she had it in her heart to be joyful but it was at least a little easier to not feel so down when she was with people she cared about. “I’m not sure of other ways to become joyful. I’m sure we can think of another way though, we’re intelligent people between us we can figure out a way to honour the day and not fall into despair.” Grantaire flopped back down into the seat he had vacated to open the door, as Enjolras fetched the drinks. Trying his hardest to keep the melancholia at bay. He wanted to keep how far the depths of his despair can go, away from his friends. He knew Enjolras knew. But, that did not mean now was the time for him to fall into it. “I have never known of any way to inspire joy, other than wine.” Well, nothing that they could share with Eponine, anyway. Even his art did not always inspire joy in him. It inspired despair just as often as joy did, if not more of late. “We talk then, we remember our friends, we remember those that we lost” He didn’t entirely agree with the drinking his sorrows away but he understood Grantaire’s reasons all the same. He brought back the drinks sitting down. “There were good times, before that day. There was a dream we shared for a free France and since then that has happened. We should be at least proud that in time things did change and the people did rise.” he suggested. It was all that kept him from drowning in that ever present guilt sometimes. Éponine took a seat, watching as Enjolras went to get the drinks. It was odd in ways that they were all here in some strange future that had long forgotten them and their valiant fight to change things for the better, well maybe not forgotten them but the way they were remembered was strange. Today though she didn’t want to think about that, today was about this, her friends and remembering the good times. “You’re right, we should remember those good times. And celebrate the fact that France is free. Maybe that can inspire joy in our hearts without the need for wine. But if that fails we can always resort to the wine later on.” Grantaire as always, took what Enjolras said to heart. His speeches always had some effect on him, even if it wasn’t always what the leader in red was anticipating. In fact it very rarely was. However, that had never stopped either of them. And, they had always been close, in spite of their disagreements. “Let’s raise a glass!” The artist declared, standing to his feet. Still steady, as he had yet not even drunk quarter of the bottle. “Or a cup, as the case may be. To our friends. As long as we live to remember them, we shall never be without them. And, may they one day join us here, in this place that is surely better than the Elysium Fields, or even dare I say it, Olympus.” He added, saluting his Apollo. “May we remember the good times, the pretty girls, the bottles of wine. The jokes and puns of our dear Joly and Bossuet. The conquests of our beloved centre, Courfeyrac and my dear boxing partner Bahorel. The deep and philosophical discussions that were once had with Feuilly and Combeferre. And, the wonderfully disturbing poetry of our dearest Prouvaire. And, last but by no means least. The fighting spirit of little Gavroche.” His voice cracked slightly, as he continued. “And, may we celebrate that of all of us, one of us survived. And, that was our dear awkward Pontmercy. Who was never truly one of us in the same way. But, he was loved all the same.” “So, drink with me my friends, to days gone by. To the fact that I was in fact wrong. We were remembered in odd ways, but remembered all the same. Our deaths did not mean nothing at all. Our lives and deaths may not have changed anything right at that moment. But, they inspired a new generation. A feat which still amazes me months after I discovered it.” And, with that. The artist downed his drink, turning to leave. Realising, that perhaps he had gone too far once again. It wasn’t that he’d gone too far. The words were apt. But it served only to make the guilt worse. He knew, he knew things got better. He knew so much more now than he had. But the memories of their friends brought into sharp focus. It took him a moment though to realise Grantaire was going to leave. He couldn't. He stood up and took his arm. Eyes meeting Grantaire’s. A silent look passing between them before he finally spoke. Admitting what he did not like to. “I...brought you all together. Many of us were friends but I brought you all to a cause and ultimately to your deaths. Even you Eponine. I saw you...I don’t know if you thought I did, but it wasn’t just Marius that brought you to our aid sometimes...before that night, before everything else. And I know neither of you blame me for that. But I need to say it. That I’m sorry. That it ended as it did.” Éponine simply sat quietly and listened as Grantaire spoke, a weight of sadness settling in her that she hadn’t truly allowed herself to feel in all this time. The mentions of their fallen friends bringing it all to the fore of her mind. She nodded slightly, a silent show that she thought his words were fitting if not a little painful to hear. She didn’t feel like she had anything to add, there wasn’t really anything that needed to be added so she left that to Enjolras, watching as he stood and stopped Grantaire from leaving the room. “You did bring us all to the cause but you are not responsible for our deaths, that blame lays at the feet of those who pulled the triggers and worked to keep us in the situations we were in. I don’t blame you but I do accept your apology, even though it isn’t needed. We changed things, that’s all that really matters. We may have had to sacrifice our lives but things changed for the better and that means you shouldn’t apologise.” Grantaire leant his forehead against Enjolras’, cupping his cheek. “I..we all chose to be there. And, we all knew what that could mean. As much as young men could, anyway. Eponine likely had a better idea than we did.” The artist stepped back slightly. But, just enough to sit back down on the sofa, pulling Enjolras down with him. “If anyone has anything to apologise for, it is I. For sleeping while everyone…..But, I couldn’t watch what I knew would happen. I am just thankful that I awoke when I did.” He had expected to die. He had expected he would fall and the others would live in a free France. The people would rise. And they had not. They had been alone. But he wasn’t here to deny his friends their word. Eponine told him that things did change. And she was right, they had. After their time. Some said because of it. And Grantaire… He had not been there for the same cause. He had been there out of love. That had been his cause. “No.” he said sharply. “You will not apologise for that. It was the last place you wanted to be….or...no, it wasn’t, but you know what I mean. You knew, how it must end.” He allowed himself to be pulled back to the sofa and looked from Grantaire to Eponine. “I did not expect to get so maudlin so early. We have friends to remember, stories to tell. Drink with me...to a world that remembered us.” |