éponine thénardier. (loyaltoyou) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2017-06-11 23:16:00 |
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ÉPONINE THÉNARDIER & GRANT WARD
Tonight
Tower 2, Floor 2, Apartment 202
PG-13 (mentions of violence)
Complete |
The walks with Grant and the dogs had quickly become one of her favourite things to do. If she was feeling a little low those walks helped lift her spirits. She looked forward to joining the three of them on any walks she could. It had become tradition for her to go along whenever she could. An unspoken thing, much like her own feelings towards Grant. She’d done her best to keep them to herself but it wasn’t always easy and she suspected he knew how she felt about him. She knew he didn’t feel the same and so she was content to have him as a friend. It wasn’t the same as what she’d felt for Marius, she wasn’t spending every waking moment trying to win his heart, she was happy with what they had, the friendship they had grown and if that was all it ever was then she accepted that. She wouldn’t spend her life pining after him. They’d taken the dogs to the beach and as always that left the two canines bouncing around and apparently full of energy despite the fact they’d run circles around the two humans who had been with them. Éponine always found it amusing that Glen and Buddy seemed even more hyped up after visiting the beach. After the walk they’d headed back to Grant’s apartment, there was no real plan beyond what they always seemed to do which was either watch a movie or sit and talk about relatively random things that had happened since the last time they’d sat and talked. Éponine was trying to stop Glen from jumping up at her legs as Grant grabbed drinks for them. A soft laugh escaped her as the small dog continued to insist she provide a lap for him to occupy. “Okay, okay, Glen, I quit, you can sit on my lap if you really want to,” she told the canine as she relented and allowed him to climb onto her lap where he quickly settled down and bumped her hand to demand she scratch behind his ear. “Grant, I think Glen likes me more than he likes you,” she said with amusement colouring her tone as she looked over to where Grant was pouring drinks, a warm smile on her face as she gave Glen the attention he so desperately craved. It was comfortable. At least it had been. He’d gotten used to her company. A friend as much as any other but there was so much she didn’t know about him. The parts of him he’d hidden for so long he was hiding again and that...he couldn’t do that again. He’d lied to the women in his life, he’d hurt them and the lies had caught up to him on both occasions. Ruined whatever could have been built. And he knew...he knew that was why he’d wound up here. She liked him, as more than a friend, and he had pretended not to notice. Because if he went there he would never forgive himself. Because she deserved more than he could give. She deserved honesty, she deserved a good man. And she’d loved and lost before. He hadn’t loved her back and it had gotten her killed. He knew what it was to love and not have it returned. It was painful to a degree he couldn’t put into words most of the time. But he also knew what it was like to lose love. To watch it slip away into death…. He couldn’t. He couldn’t risk it. Sharon had advised honesty, advised he tell her the truth about him. But how could he ever begin to explain it. So instead he just...didn’t. And it had worked for now, but the more he didn’t say, the more the lies grew. “He’s jealous of Buddy” he said lightly, as the lab bounded up to him, trust in his eyes that Grant didn’t deserve to see. No, he hadn’t hurt him that day, but someone else had… “I still can’t believe he’s here sometimes” he said as he walked back to the couch handing Éponine a drink and fussing Glen a little as he sat down, Buddy deciding to simply curl up by his feet. “Glen was...a gift at a time when I really needed something in my life to be a focus. Something I could take care of. Tony’s...a better friend than most people would expect him to be.” Éponine watched as Buddy demanded attention from Grant as he walked over to the couch, a small smile on her face, it was clear that Buddy was Grant’s dog through and through, he was so devoted to Grant. “I’m glad he’s here from you, it’s clear that you love him a lot,” she said as she took the drink he offered her. Glen remained on her lap even as he got a fuss from his owner. “Glen will get over his jealousy though, right? I mean he’s just sulking but he’ll eventually realise that he has to share you with Buddy and there’s nothing he can do about it. He’s just used to having you all to himself, you spoiled him a bit, didn’t you?” she asked with a slight teasing tone in her voice, taking a small sip of her drink. She chose not to touch on the reasons behind why Grant needed something to take care of at the time Tony gave Glen to him, if he wanted to share he would. “They both do miss you when you’re gone, I should show you the photos I have of them of them sulking but then you might never want to go on another mission if you see how pitiful they look the first couple of days you’re gone,” she told him, turning in her seat a little so she could face him as she talked to him. “I do. He’s important to me, him being here it’s...a lot” Spoiled him, but there were reasons and he needed to open up and tell her. Needed to be honest. He fussed the dog a little more before leaning back. He knew they missed him. But he was glad that they had Éponine when he wasn’t there. She’d sort of taken over from Fitz and Simmons as their default carer. And they seemed to be more than happy with the arrangement. They missed him when he was on mission, he knew that. But maybe so did she. “...I want to talk about your photographs. About what you want to do with that. Because I really do think you should ask people about being photographed, talk to that girl Aria. She does a lot of work in that area. You’re talented Éponine. And I want to make sure you’re doing what makes you happy.” He wanted her to be happy. She deserved to be “It’s obvious he’s important to you, they both are I know,” she said softly, sensing there was more to his words than what he was saying. She never pushed him, she never would, and he’d share when he wanted. Her attention was mostly on him but she kept fussing Glen, knowing if she didn’t then the dog would get demanding. She’d come to know the behaviour of both the dogs in her time caring for them when Grant was away on missions. Taking care of them helped her to focus on something else other than the fact that she missed him when he wasn’t around. “I think I’m going to do what you suggested, ask people if they want to be photographed. It’s a good idea, it means if people lose the ones they care about they will still have those memories. I’ll talk to Aria and see what advice she has,” she said, smiling at him. “I want to thank you, Grant, for always pushing me and for the faith you have in me. It means a lot.” It meant more than she could put into words. “It’s a nice idea” he told her, the people here, it was in some ways kind of transient, and Éponine could help. It meant that she was happy and maybe if she was happy she wouldn’t have to feel like she had to take on missions. He didn’t want her to endanger herself needlessly, that said he would never stop her if that was what she wanted. He really wanted to start the conversation he needed to have. He’d talked to his friends and they all told him not to be a damn idiot. She was a good person. She was kind. Gentle. And she deserved better. He knew she liked him, he wasn’t an idiot. But...god...he couldn’t let himself feel. Not after watching Kara die. And he couldn’t do that to her. She deserved so so much better than him. But sometimes when she looked at him… “She seems like a good place to start” he told her. “You really think so?” she asked, he’d mentioned it so it seemed silly to ask him but his opinion was important to her. She wanted to make sure he really meant it and wasn’t just saying it because he didn’t want her to go on missions. She wouldn’t say but she found it touching that he maybe didn’t want her to do anything dangerous. She watched him closely, a genuine smile on her face as she reached out and lightly touched his hand. She didn’t for a second think he didn’t realise she liked him, he was observant, keenly so but he never once made her feel stupid for feeling the way she did. He didn’t lead her on but he’d also never told her she was wasting her time. She knew he probably wasn’t interested but it was nice to think that maybe one day things might change. Maybe she was foolish but a woman could hope. “I’ll contact her tomorrow and ask her advice,” she said. “I still want to try out the training though, even if I decide not to go on the missions it would be better to know more.” “I really think so” he told her. He wasn’t willing to lose her on a mission. Or even see her hurt. She’d come into his life and she made it better. In a way he couldn’t explain. It was still true that he couldn’t show her that, because he’d ended things with Sharon because he couldn’t give her what she deserved. Sharon had known his past. He’d hurt her so much he couldn’t do that to her again Éponine though, she was in the dark about all of it. All that he was….she didn’t even know what he’d done. So even if he did...feel something. He wasn’t going to be another man in her life that hurt her. Sharon had said he needed to be honest though. Maybe honest was...better. He could have thought of a better way to do it but the words were out before he could take them back. “Éponine, I...I’ve mentioned my past before, and you know Daisy has...taken time to get used to me being here. Can you tell me what you know about all that? About why?” “I’m glad you think so,” she replied, her smile still firmly in place as she watched him. She knew he wasn’t really one to talk about how he felt, the way he’d handled his sister’s appearance and subsequent disappearance had taught her that. She respected that, respected his right to keep his feelings to himself. She knew there were things he didn’t like talking about and she would never push him on those, if he wanted to share with her he would. She would listen if he ever decided to share those things with her and she’d give him the time he’d given her. Even without the way she felt Grant was still her friend. That would never change. When he started talking again she was a little shocked, he’d never once brought up things from home without some kind of prompting. “You’ve mentioned it briefly and you told me a little bit about Daisy but I don’t know why things are the way they are. I only know what little you’ve told me, I’ve never asked anyone else about it because I’d want to hear it from you.” “Daisy has her reasons. She’s far from perfect herself, but I was cruel to her. She’s nicer to me than I have any right to with her.” he said, sighing before starting to talk. He started at the start, his family, the abuse, the arson, the jail time. And John. He told her how it had been the first time anyone had ever told him he could be someone better. How he’d trained him, how he’d conditioned him and of course why Buddy meant so much to him now, He finished by telling her how Daisy Johnson had been the first one to make him feel like he could be a better man.” “It didn’t work out...I’ll...tell you why someday soon, but...there’s a lot Éponine, and you deserve to know it. If you want to walk away now, I’d understand. I won’t argue if you never want to talk to me again.” He didn’t quite remember when she’d taken his hand, but she wasn’t letting go and he didn’t pull his own away. He looked over to her, trying to gauge her reaction. Buddy seemed to sense something, he’d perked up at his name which had just made it worse, but Grant had taken the time to fuss the dog all the same. “No one is perfect,” she said softly. It felt important to let him know that she felt that way. She sat quietly as he started talking, her eyes on him as he seemingly poured out his heart or rather bared his soul. He told her of the treatment he’d received from his family and her heart went out to him, she understood what it was like to deal with a family that was not nurturing like it was supposed to be. She gently took hold of his hand, a need to comfort coming over her that she couldn’t ignore. Éponine felt the tears prickling in her eyes as he went on, it was clear to her that he’d been through more than anyone else ever should and he’d done it all without any sort of support. She didn’t even know how he still went on, she didn’t think she’d be able to carry on if she’d been through what he had. When Grant looked over to her she just looked back. She didn’t really know what to say. Nothing seemed right. There were no words she could say that would help here. “Oh... Grant… why on earth would you think I’d walk away?” she asked, her voice shaking slightly as she finally spoke. She was still here. “Because, that’s not even all of it. Because...you know I lied to them, for months. Because how the hell do you know I haven’t been lying to you all this time. He’d changed. He had. Lawrence had changed him, his experiences shaped him. Simmons knew it, he was trying to make Fitz see. Sharon...she told him she understood and Daisy...he didn’t know. He didn’t think he’d ever figure out the truth there, she had a pretty good mask. Almost as good as his. But the truth of it was, he was still scared to let people close. Oh, Tony, Damon, they were friends, close friends even. But it had taken a long time. Éponine had been a surprise. He hadn’t anticipated someone like her would want to talk to him let alone feel for him. “Don’t decide yet. I can’t...do this anymore tonight but i will tell you. I’ll tell you it all, but for now can we just watch a movie?” She wasn’t going anywhere. “You lied to them but from what you’ve said it really sounded like you didn’t really have any other option or you felt like you didn’t. And I know you haven’t lied to me, you have no reason to, there’s nothing to gain from lying to me and being my friend. It’s not like I’m anyone important so there’d be no point in lying to me.” She hadn’t known him before Atlantis of course, she hadn’t known him when he’d been trapped in an awful situation. She knew he’d lived in another place much like this one where people found themselves trapped with others from different realities and she knew that had changed him. As she’d gotten to know him here she’d seen him interact with others and seen that he kept his guard up. She’d just assumed it was because he was a private person but now she realised it was because he didn’t want to give them the power to hurt him or because he felt he’d hurt them. The fact that he’d allowed her in like this was something and she wasn’t about to do anything to hurt him or make him think she didn’t want to be his friend anymore. “Okay. I’ll wait until you’ve told me the rest but I’m not going anywhere, Grant,” she told him, her voice soft as she squeezed his hand. “Of course we can watch a movie, we can do whatever you want but I have a request first. Can I give you a hug? If that’s okay.” She made it seem like it could be okay. Like she might find out everything and not hate him. But what she’d said got to him. More than he had believed it would. “Hey, no. Stop it. You’re as important as anyone else here. So enough of that.” He didn’t want that for her. He wanted her to feel like she was the equal of anyone here. He’d learned that in Lawrence, that even those who seemed weakest of all had an inner strength that in the hardest times shone through. He thought she might be very much like that. When she asked to hug him he nodded wordlessly. “You can hug me” he told her She couldn’t imagine ever hating him, no matter what he told her she couldn’t imagine not wanting to be his friend. She believed in him like he believed in her. “I just meant that lying to me wouldn’t gain you anything. But I’ll stop because you asked me to.” She was okay with not being important, as long as she could help more than she already was she’d be fine. She knew she’d never be someone the city turned to in a time of need but she wanted to at least contribute something more. She smiled softly when he nodded and told her she could hug him. “Okay,” she said quietly as she shifted forward to hug him, careful not to dislodge Glen from his resting spot. “What movie do you want to watch?” she asked as she hugged him. He took a moment. Not wanting to lead her on, not wanting to make her feel like nothing, like Marius had made her feel. She contributed, she was already so important but she didn’t see it. She was willing to remain friends with someone like him. “...I’ll continue introducing you to Disney.” he said, scrolling through the movie choices. Huh. Ironic. “You’ll like it. It’s a tale as old as time” he told her wrapping an arm gently around her as the movie began. |