Jacen Solo + Mal
R-ish (violence, death) | complete
Mal had experienced weird before. Back home in Auradon, mice mended clothes and forest creatures came up to you as you broke out into song to tweet or dance along. That was weird. People transformed into dragons and sea creatures, were cursed and turned into beasts. That was weird. Two Dalmatians were involved in the political process. Weirdest of all. She’d experienced even more weirdness ever since arriving in Atlantis - more than she could really wrap her head around, even now. Yet somehow, none of that braced her for the weirdness of this particular mission.
She wasn’t sure what it was, exactly but the inhabitants of the 100 Acre Wood where they had been sent creeped her the hell out. Maybe it was the fact that they were all relatively cutesy. Anything like that tended to make her gag, sure - but didn’t necessarily creep her out. She was thankful that her part in the mission didn’t have much to do with them and everything to do with making sure some COS agents went MIA. That, she could handle. Cutesy? Not so much.
The place itself reminded her of the forests in Auradon, practically perfect in every way. Of course things like that would live here. Naturally. They surely weren’t going to live in a place like the Isle. With her spell book tucked safely inside her jacket, she went to find her partner in...crime? Was it really, though? They were COS agents, anything done against them should get an award.
Casually coming up to Jacen, she stood in front of him and stuck out her hand that was covered by a fingerless glove, tilting her head to the side. “Hey. I’m Mal. Ready to bust these guys?” It was so nice not having to curtsy, stand up straight, act all formal. The longer she spent in Atlantis, the more she could feel her Auradon “training” slipping away, sending her back to her more Isle-like ways. After all, it was very Isle to make someone disappear.
The Arena had been Jacen’s first forray into how Atlantis could get - he hadn’t actually been in the arena, just made to watch it. As much as Jacen had seen a thing or two in his days - it was still pretty brutal to watch and he tended to be a person who liked to survive, so he was okay with not having been right in the thick of it. It didn’t make a good television show, he imagined it made an even less pleasant memory.
Jacen had shown up in Atlantis coming from the middle of their own war back home. They’d been on their way to fight the Yuuzhan Vong yet again - something that they apparently kept doing, not that Jaina had given him many more details than that - when he’d seen the coin while walking around the bridge of the ship. And then he’d been here - in the midst of a very different war. One that… apparently found him in the middle of some woods that were (if the briefing was to be believed and… the more wild something was, the more he believed it these days on Atlantis) apparently a part of some children’s story.
He’d been waiting on Mal - they were just about the same age and he could sense in her that she was a little beyond her own years, just like he was. That cleared up why they’d been asked to take this particular part of the mission. Getting rid of some COS agents (in whatever way they found most useful) was something less than cuddly. It definitely didn’t belong in a children’s story. Either way, he’d had his back turned in the direction she was coming from - but he sensed her long before she spoke.
Jacen was at least attempting to get a feel on this place - primarily on where the agents might be right now. He felt a little more free to use his skills here - though not without caution, he had looked at the report... some other version of his sister and Tenel had been on the mission (and both more than knew what he felt like through the Force, actually that was a very steep understatement). So while he was being a little more liberal in how far he was reaching out, he still had to belay some level of careful so as to not give them away. “Jacen Solo.” He said as he turned around and took Mal’s hand, giving it a diplomatic sort of shake.
She nodded to him and crossed her arms after shaking his hand, looking around the area that surrounded them. Truthfully, she wasn’t quite sure where to start. She had plenty of ideas of how to get rid of the COS agents, sure. Things that she probably should’ve felt bad for thinking about; but this was war, wasn’t it? You had to think about those kinds of things - maybe as a last resort but certainly as part of the conversation. Mal was sure that the other side had no qualms about playing dirty - they’d been playing dirty ever since she first showed up here.
That, and she had a bit of a vendetta anyway. They put her in that Arena, hurt people that she cared about. Made her suffer for hours before she eventually felt herself slip away, only to wake up to nothing being wrong with her in the first place. It fucked her up more than she’d ever want to let on to anyone. She may have been a bit more open about her feelings and decided that love and friendship weren’t the terrible, weak things that her mother had made them out to be - but there were certain parts of her that she wasn’t so ready to be open about. She didn’t want to be seen as weak, especially here of all places. What was weaker than still having terrible thoughts about something that never really happened to you? She was fine. Not dead. None of it was real. So why was she still even giving it half a thought?
“What do you think the best way to handle this would be?” she asked, reaching into her jacket and pulling out her spell book. She was sure there had to be something in there about making people disappear. Quickly would be ideal but she had a feeling that quickly also equated to painlessly and she wasn’t so sure that she necessarily wanted to give them that. Maybe she could turn them into lizards like she had her mother. A wicked little grin spread across her face at the thought. No, it was probably better to get rid of them entirely. Lizards could still cause trouble if they really wanted to, she supposed.
“I can do magic,” she offered, looking up from flipping through the pages of the spell book. “So, that’s definitely an option. Thing is, I’m not sure I could say for sure where they would end up. That could be good or bad. Then, of course, there’s always…” Mal gestured a little with her head, giving her partner a look that she felt had to convey exactly what she was talking about. It felt strange to say and she had to wonder how it would feel to do. It’s not like death and murder were new to her - it happened on the Isle all the time. Especially when her mother was around. You crossed the wrong person and you were never heard from again, fed to the crocs or, well. Who knew what else? If only she were back home and could just shove these freaks into good old Tick-Tock’s mouth. What a way to go.
Jacen had two immediate concerns. To not be detected by his twin (thankfully, another version of himself had also been present on Atlantis at the time so at the very least Jaina merely sensing him wouldn’t set off any questions) and even more importantly by Tenel was his first concern. Secondarily was not being detected overall. Obviously as far as Jacen was concerned these two two different issues - as they at least to an extent required different ways of dealing with them. Jacen could only close himself off so much to the others. Major problem. There was always a chance of other means of detection. Also a major problem. A little bit of murder, less of a problem for a well-trained Jedi and soldier.
He had his own ideas. Of course his ideas were immediately slashed in half, knowing that most of them would draw too much attention from the unfortunate amount of other Jedi around on this particular part of the mission. It was when Mal started talking about her own magical abilities that he released the pensive, pursed lip look on his face and let his eyes dart from her, to her spellbook, and back up to her.
“Before we get into all of that…” Jacen said, removing his lightsaber from his hip - calling the blade forth and giving it a little spin in his hand he made a little… thoughtful sort of sound. “How good are you at cloaking magic?” If Mal was able to cloak him - even if only partially, he’d be a little more free to use his own abilities and not rely simply on his blaster or his saber. Being able to do a little bit of carefully placed coercion to get the COS agents wherever they wanted them to strike would make everything that much easier. He didn’t exactly wait for an answer before he spun his saber once more, clipping it back onto his belt easily.
Wetting his lips, he continued speaking, “My sister and my ex are here.” He admitted, “It might have been a little better if I’d thought of the ramifications of that before volunteering but we’re here now and if we can mitigate the possibilities… lets just say we’ll stand to have a few more options of how to proceed.”
She watched him call forth the blade from the lightsaber, both eyebrows raising as she found herself impressed. Mal had no idea what, exactly, the weapon was but it looked like it could certainly do its fair share of damage when wielded properly - and she couldn’t help but guess that Jacen knew how to do that. “Um...I’m not really sure?” she said, laughing a little nervously as she tucked her long purple hair back behind her ear. “I’ve never really...specialized in any kind of magic. I’ve just done it, making up spells on my own, using this book,” she said, holding it up.
As he spoke about his sister and ex, she couldn’t help but make a face at the predicament. She’d done more than her fair share of spells on people that hadn’t turned them into frogs or horribly disfigured them for life...that was the positive. The negative was that any kind of cloaking or invisibility spell she might do, she hadn’t done before and wasn’t sure of the ramifications of it. It was one thing to try and put a spell on COS agents because who cared what happened to them? When doing it to yourself and other less awful people, well...that was a different story.
“I’m sure there must be a spell or two in here that can help us out with that,” she said cautiously, flipping the pages once again. “I will say that nothing bad has ever happened as a result of my magic - nothing that I didn’t intend, anyway; but I haven’t done any kind of cloaking or...invisibility spell before. So if you think it’s worth the risk, then I’ll do it. I’m not sure we have much choice.” Looking down at her spell book again, she pointed to a spot on the page and nodded, smiling slightly. “Got it. It’s an invisibility spell from my mother herself. It’d be pretty embarrassing if I managed to mess that one up.”
Biting her lip, she looked back up at him and shrugged. “It’s up to you. I can make it so no one sees us lurking around, we’d never be detected by your sister or your ex...by anyone on any of the teams. And those COS agents definitely wouldn’t know what hit them.” She gave another small smile and glanced down at the forest floor. “I get it if you don’t trust me, though. I mean, I’m not sure I trust me but...I’m not really sure I see a way around it if we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”
There was at least one thing that was to Mal’s advantage in this situation - Jacen wasn’t going to lie about his relationship to people on the original mission. He figured that would be the opposite of a good tactic and on top of that it would have also put not only himself, but everyone else, in danger. So - he’d admitted things. He’d asked her to help and well… apparently that was sort of 50/50. Jacen knew what it was like to struggle with your powers - not that he had Mal’s experience, but you know, he had adjacent experience. He had at east enough experience through his training as a Jedi in either himself or seeing it in others that sometimes things didn’t go well and sometimes your best hope was… hope itself.
Jedi and, if Jacen was honest, their whole universe had this thing with hope that he’d never 100% bought into. He was capable, he could protect his family and his siblings, that was what Jacen relied on. He wasn’t sure what would happen to him if he ever lost that ability but he was young - why the hell would he ever need to think about that. Spoiler alert, he was only a few months away from having to think about it back home.
“By your Mother?” It was half a question and half just an acknowledgement. But that sort of revelation would never go fully unquestioned by Jacen - even if he was feeling pretty damn lucky that they had an out at all. As it was, things tended to work out for him. Part of it was skill, part of it was probably just some weird thing about being a Solo. His Father had basically made a lifestyle out of it.
He brought a hand up and gave her a little wave, “If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.” He stated. “We could go back and forth about it all day.” Jacen wasn’t being exactly polite, but there wasn’t any way around it anyway. “But - its what we need.”
Mal could feel some warmth rising up in her cheeks, barely even realizing that she’d mentioned her mother in the first place. Theirs was a complicated relationship - one that had left its fair share of scars, whether she readily admitted to it or not. A lot of things had been pounded into her head at a young age that she had begun to realize weren’t necessarily the truth. Part of her wanted to believe that it was her mother trying to protect her; but the other part, the more certain part, had an unshakeable feeling that it was to keep her as miserable and alone as Maleficent had been.
“Yeah, my mom…” she said, voice once again filled with caution. Some people knew who she was, some didn’t. She hadn’t exactly gauged who would and wouldn’t know, based on where they came from, so she opted for the easy explanation, leaving out the whole cursing babies, pure evil dragon thing. “She’s a pretty powerful fairy, wielder of magic. Well.” She paused for a second and laughed slightly, making a face. “She was. I may have turned her into a lizard. No big deal,” she said quickly.
Giving him a brief nod, she stated, “I’m comfortable. Let’s do this, then.” Burying her face back in the spell book, she read over the spell a couple of times before taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. “Beware, forswear, make us hidden from prying eyes over there.” With that, she opened her eyes and moved her hand up, down, to the side, then up again, smiling as shimmering green sparkles appeared to descend on them both, wrapping around their bodies for a few seconds before disappearing in little fireworks.
She closed her spell book and looked down at herself, then him. “We can probably see each other because we’re under the same spell. Hopefully it worked. We should still be cautious, though. Just in case. I won’t be satisfied that we’re really invisible until we’re fighting confused and flailing agents.”
Jacen was pretty familiar with family problems. You didn’t exactly have a Skywalker as a parent and somehow come away with no family drama. It wasn’t like Jacen hadn’t caused enough of his own trouble over the years either. Turning your fairy Mom into a lizard was definitely a little different than the dichotomy-of-light-versus-dark oh and the your-dad-is-a-smuggler-and-a-cad-and-your-mom-is-a-princess-senator drama that the Solo kids grew up with but, he could vibe with the fact that she was clearly not that keep on it. He didn’t even need to be a Jedi to be able to tell it was a less than comfortable thing for her to talk about. However, Jacen being Jacen, he at least attempted to diffuse the awkwardness she was clearly feeling a bit, “Did you at least let her be cool colours?” He asked with a smirk.
Being able to actually see magic was another interesting experience for Jacen. A lot of a Jedi’s power came from being able to hide in plain sight. Without the obvious presence of a lightsaber - it was pretty easy for your average Jedi to blend in and get their way. If you were an above average, much like Jacen considered himself to be, it was even easier. Jacen let his eyes and head track the green lights as it surrounded them “Well, that I can help with.” He said - nodding towards the direction their intel had hinted that their targets would be going in.
“As long as Jaina and Tenel are at least dulled from knowing its me, I can confidently handle the confusion side of things.” Of course, he could just as easily handle the fighting parts of it too - but if they were going to be using all their advantages, he may as well use what many would consider the Jedi’s ‘bread and butter’ and that was the lovely art of a little hand wave and suggestion.
Mal grinned a little at his question and gave a small shrug. She may not have liked talking about her mother in her non-lizard or dragon form, but the way she was now? She could talk about that all she wanted. And it seemed like she was going to get the chance for at least a long time yet. Maleficent had shrunk down to the size of the love in her heart and she wasn’t going to get any bigger or be able to undo that spell until she learned to truly love the way her daughter had and opened up her heart. Mal couldn’t exactly see that as a real possibility but stranger things had happened. Atlantis was proof enough of that. “Purple at first, like when she was a dragon. Now she’s sort of fallen into that regular lizard thing and is green.”
Sliding her spell book back into her jacket, she nodded as well in understanding. Though she was confident enough in her magical abilities when it came to disposing of the agents, Mal couldn’t help but wish that she had a sword readily available. She was also confident in her sword-fighting abilities and that tended to take less time and concentration than reciting a spell did. After all, she’d beaten a group of rowdy pirates in a sword fight not too long ago and running around the Isle dueling was practically all those guys did. Well, and stuff their faces at Ursula’s Fish ‘n Chips.
She couldn’t help but raise her eyebrow at him, wondering what exactly he meant but figuring she would find out soon enough. It seemed they both had their own little tricks up their sleeve for this mission. “Then I’ll let you do your thing and be backup if you need it,” she said, patting her jacket where the spell book was hidden. “C’mon, let’s get this over with and get rid of those guys.” Mal went ahead in the direction of his nod, being careful to avoid stepping on any twigs, kicking rocks, making any bushes or trees rustle. After all, what was the point of being invisible if you were making a huge ruckus with everything around you? Luckily, she’d learned how to be fairly quiet and stealth herself from living on the Isle. You had to be if you didn’t want to get caught stealing or causing trouble. It really never ceased to surprise her how much she got from the Isle that she could still apply to life outside of it. Maybe it hadn’t been such a terrible time growing up there...no, it was still pretty awful.
Purple. At least better than the generic lime green - not that he hadn’t seen reptiles of all colours in his own universe. That was just the amount of variation you saw when you’d been to as many systems as the Solo kids had over the years. Jacen figured, if you were going to suffer someone to a new form - you might as well give them the benefit of looking cool. Alternatively, being easy to spot in the future. Thankfully, he’d already learned what a dragon was over his time in Atlantis so far and so it didn’t require much more conversation; he figured Mal would prefer that anyway. Her Mother was clearly a sore spot and he definitely empathized with that.
Jacen started down the path and it didn’t take them too long to come upon a few COS agents a few yards in front of them. The agents were in a small clearing - it looked like they were just regrouping and planning their next phase of plans and, well, that worked for Jacen. Wetting his lips he stopped in place, looking back to Mal, “I’ll distracted them and we can get a jump on hitting them from behind.” He said.
Right now, Jacen figured the easiest and best plan was just to snap a few branches on the other side of the clearing - draw their attention that way and for the two of them to… well, get rid of the problem.
Just the sight of them made her blood boil. Granted, they were probably only cogs in a grander machine that didn’t have much to do with what had happened to her in the Arena, but she had learned that didn’t exactly matter. You chose who you sided with and that was that. After all, back on the Isle it wasn’t just the big, bad villains that were trapped there - it was their sidekicks and lackeys, too. These guys had made their bed and now they were going to have to lie in it, as far as she was concerned.
Mal nodded, bracing herself and getting ready to run at them. She was small, but she was fierce and strong - and her boots extremely heavy. She could easily kick one of them in the back and bring them down face first into the ground and go from there. There were also several spells running rampant in her head, just in case that didn’t work and she needed a quick solution. Regardless of what happened, she was more than ready and willing to get rid of these guys. “Ready when you are,” she whispered to Jacen, giving him a small smirk and waggling her magic fingers at him.
Jacen could sense that Mal was on the same page as him - it wasn’t like he wasn’t being invasive right now, which was obviously well within a Jedi’s abilities, because he was attempting to be polite on that level as much as he was minimizing the use of anything that might make their presence suspect. The fact that he had happened to be in Atlantis in this ‘period’ helped a bit there. But he was still being cautious, but he figured he didn’t even need the instincts to be able to tell that him and Mal were… well, two peas in a pod in many ways it seemed.
Giving her a little nod, Jacen brought his hand up - snapping enough of a cluster of branches across the little clearing that they’d be distracted but not cause such a ruckus that anyone else would be drawn to the clearing unnecessarily. Enough to startle those right here but just seem like, well, forests tended to creak and crack after all.
He moved quickly once they were distracted, unsheathing his lightsaber - the quieter weapon by far when compared to his blaster - and went for the two agents who had been to his right. Dispatching the first was easy, the second - not so much.
Mal was only distracted herself by the lightsaber for a brief moment before she went charging ahead, landing a strong kick at the back of the other agent and knocking him down. Using her foot again to roll him over, she recited a quick spell in case he had any thoughts of calling out for help, “Make it quiet, close that lip, purse them up with just a zip.” A fluid motion of her hand and green emerged from her fingertips, traveling to the agent’s lips and causing them to be stuck together, making him unable to make a sound loud enough for anyone outside of the three of them to hear.
The agent grabbed onto Mal’s foot then, flipping it up and off of him and prompting her to stumble back, nearly falling on the ground but catching herself on a nearby tree. Green eyes narrowing and now glowing, she watched as he made a break for it, stumbling himself toward another series of trees. If he got in there, it might be impossible to find him again. She couldn’t let that happen.
“Beware, forswear, let the roots grow a hair,” she said, watching as the sparkling green mist enveloped one of the large roots of the tree the agent was coming toward, prompting it to grow out longer and larger than it was and trip him. “Make it easy, make it quick, grab that foot so he can’t kick.” The root grew a bit more to wrap around the agent’s ankle, Mal smirking as she quickly made her way over to him, watching as he struggled to get free. Maybe this wasn’t the best way to deal with her angst over what happened in the Arena but there was certainly something about revenge that could make her revert back to the girl who wanted nothing more than to be like her evil mother and do her proud.
The first guy had gone down quickly and easily enough that Jacen wasn’t shocked by the fight he found with the second. Hindered by not wanting too much of his power that would have tipped off the Jedi on the original mission, he kept mostly to hand-to-hand combat with him. Admittedly, his attention kept wavering to Mal. Jacen definitely didn’t like the idea of someone else getting hurt on his watch and even if neither of them were in charge - it wasn’t like he was going to hang her out to dry. But it was only that, a little bit of a distraction and he fought off the other guy as he watched green smoke entangle the one Mal was working on - preventing his escape. That, that mattered most, of course.
Once Mal had seemingly regained control over things - Jacen lunged, once again drawing his sabe and finally landing the blow he’d needed to. The details weren’t important, Jacen would just tuck them away later anyway. The only thing that was important was that the job was done. Mostly done.
He took his time, checking the two agents he’d taken down and the first that Mal had. Solidly out of play would have been a fairly polite way of putting it. Now, however, jacen wandered slowly towards Mal from behind. Not wanting to interrupt and equally not wanting it to come off as him not thinking she could handle it - he circled behind her widely.
She watched with amusement as the agent struggled, both trying to escape from the tree root and with attempting to speak, no doubt begging for his life to be spared. That wasn’t why they were here, though, was it? The agents were supposed to be completely out of commission and while this one was surely trapped, she would’ve felt better knowing it was impossible for him to escape and do what he’d been intending.
Mal had never done this before, never really wished this on anyone no matter how angry, bitter, and hurt she may have been. She was one for pranks, causing mischief - she wasn’t cut out for real evil. Was this real evil, though? Did two wrongs make a right in this situation? Her amusement soon faded and she moved to kick him back against the ground, putting her foot on his chest once again to hold him there. “You really like fucking with people, don’t you?” she said, her voice far-off and distant. The smirk was replaced with a frown as she thought of Ben and her friends. Ben would want to work out a more diplomatic way of doing things. Her friends...she didn’t know what they would think or do. She couldn’t see any of them intentionally hurting someone else this way, even if it was for a good cause.
When she opened them again, her eyes were their normal color of green and she felt the rage inside of her that had been swelling slowly calming. Licking her lips, she put her hand out, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes. “Make it painless, make it quick, snap his neck just like a stick.” Mal waved her hand but nothing happened, prompting her to bring it to her face and look at it, then back down at the agent. “Make it painless, make it quick, snap his neck just like a stick!” she repeated, this time with more fervor and instead of waving her hand, she snapped her fingers. There was no green mist this time, just a snap after her own.
She took a moment and stared down at the agent, mouth hanging open slightly. Had she really just done that? Swallowing hard, she rubbed her tears back in her eyes with her finger and her thumb before turning back around to face Jacen. “Mission accomplished.”
Killing wasn’t the Jedi way. It wasn’t something you were supposed to do. It wasn’t something you were sup.posed to enjoy. It was something that you were only allowed to do when the circumstances were dire or otherwise unavoidable. Jedi were trained to be diplomatic above all else. Jacen wasn’t necessarily your average Jedi - he questioned things, he liked to learn the how and the why, but he’d always remained just that… merely a curious Jedi. He had killed, but that’s what war brought - war brought killing and he understood that to fall under the necessary category. That was precisely where Jacen would file today away. Necessary. It wasn’t wanted, it didn’t mean he was overly comfortable with it, but he was comfortable enough to do it and do it without regret.
For all her strength, poise, and skill - he could see that the decision weighed heavily on Mal. Killing shouldn’t have come easy for anyone - that’s when your soul blackened and you went to a place you shouldn’t. It was good that she was clearly feeling the repercussions, but it didn’t mean that Jacen didn’t have some twing of feeling bad for Mal. Being ready to do what was necessary was very, very different than being practiced in it.
After assuring the others were down for the count, he slowly made his way over to Mal. He let her do what she needed, he didn’t interrupt when it took her two times to get the spell to work. Jacen knew more than many that you had to do something like that yourself. It wasn’t easy, but interrupting her or just doing it himself probably would have made it only worse. It would have just been a different type of guilt. Failure, in his opinion, was much more difficult to get by than making the hard decision.
He gave her a few moments and then put his hand on her shoulder, “Mission accomplished.” He repeated back to her with a lopsided little smile.
She let out a deep, shaky breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been keeping in. This was something her mother would be proud of her for doing and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Then again, for all she knew her mother could’ve sided with them and been enraged at her for impeding on their plans. Somehow, thinking of it that way made it a bit more palatable. That she was possibly going against her mother. The feeling of his hand on her shoulder was comforting, something that she appreciated in the moment. Her body became less tense and she felt less like she was carrying a boulder on her back.
Looking back at the body was a mistake, however. His head twisted in such a way that no human’s should be, light gone from his eyes. It came on quickly, so quick that she barely had time to get to a nearby bush. She’d felt it rising in her stomach and throat the second she heard the snap but thought that she would be okay. That she could handle it. When she was done, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, catching her breath and letting some tears stream down her face, both from the vomiting and the sight of what she’d done. Everyone back home...they would have to understand, wouldn’t they? She had no choice. She had a mission to complete, to help protect other people from getting hurt or killed. This was a necessary evil.
Mal wiped her cheeks of the tears and took in another deep breath, letting it out immediately this time. “Let’s get back.” In truth, she just wanted to be as far away from this place as humanly possible now. The cuteness was gone. The way it reminded her of Auradon was gone. Though nothing had changed, somehow everything seemed a little darker than it was before. Wasn’t that the story of her life? The darkness kept winning out, even when she was trying to do good.
Jacen had a sudden appreciation for the elegance of fighting as Jedi. Even if he was only using his blaster - it didn’t leave the sort of mess than other forms of fighting did. Lightsabers and blasters both cauterized wounds by their sheer nature. Maybe that was why people called lightsabers elegant weapons - because though they could cut through a man like he was made of thin cloth, they didn’t make the display getting sliced through the gut would by a spear or a sword. Metal weapons were long forgotten in his part of the galaxy - but he’d seen what a spear could do, what older weapons could do, and right now he was looking down at what Mal’s magic could do. Some may have considered a Jedi’s ability magic and he supposed, by any common place definition it probably was in its own unique way.
Either way, he knew that feeling - he’d felt it the first time he’d had to kill someone. Necessity never made something easier, especially when you knew there were other possibilities. But right now? Those possibilities were too dangerous and fate had already cast the die, they had done what they had to to make sure that the mission was successful and that it stayed successful in both their present and in the past.
With that, he just watched as she reacted - he let her have the space she needed to catch her breathe, to react, to process it for a moment. Jacen was many things and in this moment he was certainly able to be patient. Nodding, Jacen turned and made sure to stay next to her, waiting until they were out of the clearing and properly back on their way to their meeting point before speaking again, “You did good.” The Jedi said, suspecting she needed to hear something like that if his read on her emotions was even slightly within the correct bounds.
As they walked away and back to the meeting point, she was both grateful and unnerved by the silence that followed. Strange though it was, she felt embarrassed by her reaction. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to death and killing - it happened all the time on the Isle and for reasons far pettier than she would care to think about; but she’d never done any of that, herself. Even when the situation seemed to call for it by all Isle standards, she instead chose to go the revenge route and get back at those who had wronged her by dumping fish guts on their heads or having them exiled to their castle for years, unable to leave without getting the brunt of her and her mother’s ire. She never really believed in killing to get revenge, thinking it too easy on them. She preferred to torture and prolong their misery for as long as possible. She was her mother’s daughter, after all.
In this case, however, it needed to be done. She would keep telling herself that until she could really and truly believe it, if she ever would. Though she had her own feelings from being trapped in the Arena, that wasn’t what made her do what she did. Mal hadn’t killed for revenge, though the way she got there had certainly been more on brand for her with prolonging things, striking fear into the agent’s heart, making sure he knew what was going to happen to him and that she would be the one to do it. The actual act of it, however...that wasn’t for revenge. That was to help, to make sure everything went off without a hitch from then on out. It wasn’t about her, it was about the mission.
Looking over at him when he finally spoke, she gave a small smile and nodded slightly before turning her attention back to watching her feet as they walked. “Thanks. You too.” It helped to have Jacen there with her, unsure what it would’ve been like to have been alone and have to do something like this. She didn’t think anything good would’ve come from it, could see herself losing control and becoming a dragon, wrecking everything. No, it had been better to have a partner. Someone that didn’t seem to judge her for any of it but especially not her reaction. “And thanks,” she said, glancing over at him, “for uh...being supportive, I guess. I’m glad you were my partner for this.”
Part of Jacen’s mind was still on how two of the most important people in his life were around here somewhere. Tenel and Jaina were right here, sure Jaina was also back on the island - but it was startling to think about it. It was distracting, Jacen didn’t like to get distracted. He especially didn’t like to get distracted when it came down to the fact that Jedi were supposed to be about bringing order and peace - they weren’t supposed to meddle in these sort of affairs, but as he’d grown up, as he’d grown older (a scary thought to have when you were barely an adult) it had happened more and more. It reminded him of the fight for the republic, of the fight to get rid of the Sith. This war for creativity was too much like just another war at home. A war that felt like it wouldn’t have an end, even though he knew it would. Even though he knew it’d end with blood on his hands.
That all didn’t matter right now though, right now what mattered was that he made sure Mal was okay. Tenel and Jaina were both in the past. They were quite literally the past and the past was never as important as the moment you were in so, once again, Jacen reached out and put a friendly hand on Mal’s shoulder. “I’ve got your back whenever you need it.” He added. He wasn’t overly sentimental towards many things and he retracted his hand after a moment, but Jacen knew how important it was to trust the people around you. He’d always had his siblings, they were irreplaceable. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he didn’t have at least Jaina or Anakin on his side.
Hopefully he’d never have to find out. But here, right now, they weren’t a part of this. Jaina was back on Atlantis (and weirdly, also here but you know, that was a whole thing). Anakin was… home? Back home, he guessed - he still wasn’t really sure how that worked. He wanted to choose his next words carefully either way and finally he looked back over at her, “Think about something you want to do when we’re back.” It might have seemed like a stupid suggestion, but it had meaning. “Whatever you want, that’s what you do.”
As much as she enjoyed her own solitude and had been used to looking out for number one ever since she was little, Mal had to admit that she was struggling a bit without her friends here and had been since she’d arrived. It was why she threw herself into the training and field agent aspect of things as much as she had, to take her mind off of it and put focus elsewhere. It was times like this, though, that she really could’ve used them. She didn’t trust easily and those three, along with her boyfriend, were the ones that she knew she could always go to no matter what. Now, however, it was nice to have someone like Jacen there. Sure, it wasn’t her best friends but it was something - something that she knew she needed. To hear that he had her back made her feel a lot better than she thought it would.
“Thanks,” she replied with another small smile in his direction. She wasn’t overly sentimental about things either and sharing feelings was definitely not one of her strong suits, so as much as she may have wanted to say more and let him know how much she appreciated his words - words that reminded her somewhat of her friend Jay, who was always on her side and backed her up no matter what - she left it at that.
Looking up at him again at his suggestion, she furrowed her brow in thought. It was a good idea, to do something that she really wanted to do when they got back. To reward herself instead of punish for what she’d done. Truthfully, she couldn’t really think of anything, at least at the moment. Maybe it would come to her when she was back in Atlantis and could recall all the things it had to offer; but right now her mind was still squarely in the same space it had been, thinking about what she had just done. “Smart idea,” she said with a nod, crossing her arms over her chest as she walked. “I’ll have to think about it. I was probably just going to hang out in my room for a few days but doing something fun and taking advantage of Atlantis is probably a better plan.”
Jacen knew that feeling. He’d never been without his siblings and Jaina seemed… distant here. It was clear she was from down the line from him, time wise, and he could feel that. She didn’t need to admit it to him - but he could feel it. He could feel it in the way she tried to hide certain thoughts or moods and he could feel it in the way she responded to him. It was the first time in his life he’d ever felt separated from his twin and that was, well, it was certainly a hell of an adjustment. He could handle it. He was pretty sure he could handle it at least - but being out here on a mission helped the temptation to keep badgering her with questions. He didn’t want to push Jaina away and he was beginning to think that the fact that she wouldn’t really give him any answers was… probably something he should take as an answer in and of itself. Not a great one, but an answer nonetheless.
So, ultimately Jacen knew how she felt. He didn’t know he knew, but he did. Right now, that wasn’t what Jacen was focusing on anyway. Right now he was focusing on the clear fact that Mal was distraught and he didn’t like seeing that - Mal seemed like a good person and there was no shortage of proof in the way they she felt after what had just happened. Jacen was dulling his senses as much as he could and he could still feel it pouring off of her - though, he may have been opening up to her just a little more than everything else around them for the pure fact that he gave a damn and it felt like the right thing to do.
“I like to have those from time to time.” He said, at this point - all he felt like he could do was go out of his way to lighten the mood. “Well, if you have a problem thinking of something, just pop by - pretty sure we could figure it out together. Sitting and stewing is the worst thing you could do.” He knew that from, unfortunate, experience.
Unbeknownst to her, Mal was very similar to his sister in a lot of ways, though maybe for different reasons. It had been pounded into her head from a young age that weakness was unacceptable. She was the daughter of the great and powerful Maleficent, after all and she couldn’t disappoint her, couldn’t embarrass her. There were consequences to that - ones that she preferred to avoid, namely her mother’s screeching. So she tried to close off her heart, tried not to feel anything but anger the way her mother did. She couldn’t, though, figuring out early on that she had this crazy thing called empathy and it was likely going to prevent her from ever becoming what her mother wanted her to be.
Still, she kept those feelings inside. Anything that could’ve been seen as weak or a hinderance, she tried to ignore and push down into the depths of herself. She loathed that sometimes she felt bad for the things she did or didn’t have the heart to put a plan into action, like hurting Evie before they became best friends. Weak, it was all signs of weakness and even when she went to Auradon and learned that so many of the things she thought were negatives were actually positives, she still kept things inside and to herself. People looked up to her, she was a leader. She didn’t have the luxury of being able to feel things, she had to think with her head and not her heart. She had to move on from things quickly and not linger, or else it would surely consume her. No, she couldn’t just feel things and talk about those feelings - she had to hide them away, for her own good and for the good of everyone else.
This was on a new level, though. Something she had ever experienced before. She knew that she would still likely bottle it all up, keep it in the pit of her stomach; but it would be harder than anything else she’d ever done. Even though it was for slightly different reasons here in Atlantis, she still didn’t want to be seen as weak. She looked at Jacen and how he was handling this and wished that she could’ve had just a tiny bit of his calm, cool, collectedness. She felt childish, like she didn’t belong as a field agent if she couldn’t handle something like this. And god, she thought she would be able to handle it. Tried tapping into the evil part of her, the things her mother had taught her; but still, all she felt was sick and guilty. That damn empathy again.
“You’d help me figure out something to do?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. Once again, though she’d been in Auradon long enough to have experienced people doing nice things just for the sake of doing them, it still surprised her when people offered such things. That wasn’t the way she had grown up. No one did anything for free or out of the goodness of their heart. You couldn’t afford to do that on the Isle - another reason she hated her empathy, it was possible it would severely impact her ability to survive. Glancing down at the ground, she shook her head a little but still smiled slightly. “You don’t have to do that, but I appreciate it.” She paused for a second and a took in a deep, shaky breath before saying, “I appreciate everything you’re doing right now.”
Jacen watched Mal as she seemed to try and work through things, he may not have taken things so head on if he’d bothered to realize that she may not have done something exactly… that drastic before. A part of him felt a tinge of remorse over it but, ultimately, he knew there was no good way to do something like that for the first time. No good way. Jumping into the deep end was just as good as any other way. He lt her work through it in her own way, but he was also very committed to the fact that he’d offered to help her.
“No one has to do anything.” Jacen figured a lighthearted take on it wouldn’t hurt at the moment. “I want to, I’m offering, and we’re making sure it happens.” He flashed her a friendly smile, clearly ready to commit to whatever that meant.