WANDA MAXIMOFF + PETER QUILL
LOW - END GAME SPOILERS | COMPLETE
The first time it had happened, the burst of new memories had taken Wanda by complete surprise and caused a surge of magic within her that could be felt throughout the building. It had all been too much at once, and she could feel the pain in her chest after losing someone so dear to her - again. This time, though, was different. It all came to her suddenly and was still surprising but with much less intensity. There wasn’t a burst of magic but even if there was, no one was left in the house to have felt it now that her only roommate was gone.
She remembered showing back up in the jungles of Wakanda, but lifeless Vision’s body was no longer there. Thanos was gone and so were most of the others. It wasn’t until Doctor Strange’s portals opened that everything began making sense again.
Grief still struck her after the influx of memories had passed. Wanda gasped and covered her mouth with her palm at the memory of Tony’s funeral. The memory of Clint telling her about Natasha. She buried her face in her hands and choked back a sob, but tears didn’t fall this time. After everything there, here, and the in between, she wasn’t sure if she had any left.
A part of her always knew the others would find a way to fix what happened, but she also held out hope that Vision would be there waiting for her once she was brought back. He’d been the constant in her life after the world began falling apart, and the only way the world made sense again would be if he was there too. But he’d been destroyed, killed, before the snap occurred. He’d suffered death twice, once by her hand and again by Thanos’, and that proved to be too much even for him.
She laid in her bed for a while and watched the sunrise. The memories had woken up her early, and she knew it would be useless trying to go back to sleep. It was hard to know how to react with these new memories, but she at least had the knowledge that, in the end, they’d won. It wasn’t without loss both before and after the snap, but she’d figure out a way to pick herself up and keep going. Both here and there. It would be what he wanted for her, and she wasn’t going to give herself any other choice.
When Django hopped up on the bed next to her and rubbed his body against her legs, she smiled a little and reached down to rub his head. Wanda sat up in bed and slipped on her robe before gathering the fluffy cat and heading into the living room.
Peter had been awake since dawn, trying to process what had happened. He remembered last summer when the same thing had happened, when he’d gone to bed and woke up with memories of death, destruction and then…...nothing. This time it was different, although not a lot better in some respects. He was alive, Dr. Strange had gotten them all back to Earth to defeat Thanos for good but at what cost? Gamora was still gone, the Gamora he’d seen after the battle wasn’t his Gamora and Nebula had explained it to him but it just made his loss hurt more. He’d been so busy trying not to commit himself to anyone or anything that he hadn’t told Gamora he loved her until it was too late and Thanos took her off to die. Now he’d never get that chance even if he did eventually find this other Gamora. She wouldn’t be the same person.
Tony Stark was gone and even though he hadn’t known the man very long as far as their world was concerned, he’d known him here and he was a brilliant man. They would probably never be best friends, they were too much alike for that (minus the brilliant on Peter’s part and he could admit that to himself even if he’d never do so to anyone else) but it was a huge loss. Did dying in that other world mean you were dead here too? It hadn’t when they had all turned to dust so maybe Tony was okay. That remained to be seen. He left his house and went for a walk since he wasn’t going to go back to sleep and wandered aimlessly around the housing complex. How many others had woken up this morning with new memories? As he rounded a corner, he saw at least one person standing in a doorway and he knew that she must have gotten them. Peter had been on a couple of missions with Wanda and he stopped at the end of her walk. “Hey, I guess you got some new memories from the Sandman last night too?”
While she sat eating breakfast, Wanda checked in to see if anyone else appeared to have gained new memories. As it turned out, everyone had exactly like the last time. So many people across the universe, and all of their worlds collided together because of Thanos. She considered reaching out to Alicia, but they'd all been through so much recently that she didn't want to make her worry too much. Wanda hadn't exactly handled the first set of memories very well, and Alicia had stayed with her to make sure she was alright. She'd try contacting her later, but right now Wanda wanted to keep her thoughts mostly to herself. It was hard explaining what happened to someone not from their world or that didn't experience it themselves.
After finishing her breakfast, she decided to take a short walk, and as she was leaving the house she saw someone she was somewhat familiar with walking up to her. "Yes," she said with a small nod. "I suppose they're better than the last new memories we received, but," she paused and shrugged a little. "But not entirely happy ones either."
She was alive again, but she still had the memories of losing Vision back fresh in her mind, and they'd lost Natasha and Tony. Tony Stark had never been one of her favorite people, but she knew he was a good man and she respected him. "I'm having trouble knowing exactly what to feel, to be honest."
“No, not at all. At least Thanos is gone for good so he can’t do anything else to the world,” he sighed. “But there was still too much destruction and i’m like you. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. It’s a weird situation. They’re still here though so that’s got to count for something.” He hadn’t know Tony for long but you’d have to live under a rock (or in space and truthfully not even then) to not know who Tony was. Peter had never met Natasha but who didn’t know who the Avengers were? He’d seen her around Atlantis too although they’d never talked and he remembered that she and Wanda were friends. “I’m sorry about Natasha. I mean back there, she’s not dead here but you know what I mean, I really am not good at this condolence stuff but this is a hell of a thing. Multiple universes, people here and not there and vice versa. Strange said there were like fourteen million ways it could have ended. That’s insane.”
Yes, Thanos was gone, but even after everyone, most everyone, had been brought back, he still left destruction in his wake. Though, all that had happened the first time wasn’t wiped away, and even though the others that they’d lost more recently were gone, not everyone had made it to Atlantis, unfortunately. Wanda nodded a little and smiled sadly. “I know. I’m glad she’s here too.” On one hand, it was hard to imagine how she and Tony might be feeling with the information they’d all received, but she supposed a part of her did understand. The circumstances were much different, but she’d still died in a way and had been gone for years. Maybe, one day, they’d find out a way to bring the others back too.
“I’m not sure if I’d like to know how the other ways may have ended up,” she said. “The one in which we ‘won’ was… difficult enough for all of us.” Looking around, it was a nice day, and Wanda wasn’t looking to go back indoors for a while. She liked the openness of the outdoors for now. “I was going to take a short walk if you’d like to join me.”
Peter nodded. He couldn’t imagine that many possible endings but he also didn’t have the brain capacity of Dr. Strange. It didn’t seem that it could get much worse than it already had been. “Yeah, a walk sounds nice. I haven’t been able to sit still and I couldn’t go back to sleep even though I tried.” The one time he had drifted off, he was awakened by a dream of Gamora, the Gamora that he had loved and whom he would never see again. Maybe he should have just stayed dead or dusted of whatever the hell you called it for good. It might hurt less. “I wish we could have gotten everyone back,” he said. He knew that Wanda had lost her brother in Sokovia but if they had been working time magic, maybe there could have been a way to fix that too.
Wanda hadn’t tried going back to sleep. The first time this had happened, she’d expelled a burst of magic and had been practically inconsolable. Alicia had found her and had just sat there with her. This time, had been, well, not easier, but less jarring. She was still coming to terms with all of the events still revolving on a loop inside her mind, but she needed some air to be able to process it all.
“It’s a… lot to process,” she said quietly. “And so do I.” She wondered what would have happened if she’d been the one to be able to ultimately destroy Thanos. Maybe Tony wouldn’t have had to sacrifice himself, but she’d learned a long time ago that thinking that way helped no one. It was a lesson she still struggled with in some areas, but Clint had given her the speech enough times that it actually had started to stick for the most part.
“I wonder if everyone else found out too,” she mused aloud. Sometimes the memory updates came all at once, like the last one, but she’d seen others from various timelines receive memories at random and differently than those from their same worlds. She also wondered if in another year there would be another to change things all over again.
“I wondered the same thing. I didn’t check the network to see if anyone had posted anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did though, we at least know that you and I got them and we both got taken out last time.” It still felt weird thinking about that, knowing that he had been in some sort of limbo for five years which had felt more like five minutes when he’d woken up and Strange was opening portals and telling them they had to go and fight Thanos.
“As if that whole Arena thing wasn’t bad enough for everybody. If we all got the memories, there’s that to think about too. I’m sorry. I know there’s nothing I can do but no one should have to go through that much shit.” Peter had actually grown up a bit since being in Atlantis and especially after the memories he had gotten last year. It had been crazy, thinking about being dead and also having to face Gamora’s death and now it seemed that she was back in his world but not the woman he knew.
“I didn’t check either,” Wanda said. She probably should have to see if there were others dealing with the same memories she was, but given all that happened, she wanted a moment or so to herself to collect her thoughts. She needed to check in with Clint soon.
Her eyes blinked away at the mention of the arena, and Wanda looked off into the other direction for a moment. He was right; the arena had been horrible, and her experiences there were still hard to talk about even if she was having to talk about them weekly with one of the counselors. She knew that was probably for the best, but it still wasn’t something she enjoyed or wanted to do.
She smiled a little and looked back over at Peter. “You don’t need to apologize for anything. We’re all likely having to sort through these memories and understand what they mean. I can just hope that it will be a long time before we’re given new memories again.”
“When we got the memories last year, it felt weird. The way stuff just...stopped. I thought it was because I died but now that I know I didn’t, it was just like……..nothing. Then when we came back it felt like we’d never been gone. I can’t wrap my head around that. Where the hell did we go?” Peter was smarter than a lot of people gave him credit for but he knew he was no genius. None of this made sense, none of this should have been possible yet here they were in a magical place fighting a way to save creativity, he lived in a spaceship and a madman had eliminated half the living things on the planet. It was crazy.
“I don’t know,” Wanda said quietly. It was something she’d thought a lot about ever since she’d received the memories last year. In a sense, they’d all died, but it wasn’t a normal death in that they were able to pass on to the next life. They’d simply faded out of existence, and if they’d been somewhere, anywhere, shouldn’t they have remembered even a tiny piece of the last five years? But she didn’t. The last memory she had was leaning over Vision’s lifeless body before simply fading away.
“I’m not sure if we were anywhere at all,” she said finally. Most likely just like Vision. He’d “died” in the more traditional sense, twice actually, but did he have a soul? He had a mind, a beautiful mind that she loved more than anything, but he was a mixture of Jarvis, what Ultron should have been, and the Mind Stone. It was something Wanda hadn’t really thought about before and hit her harder than expected.
“I guess we should probably get back,” she said and tried a small smile. “To check in with everyone to see if they had received the same memories that we did.”
“”We should. If they did, they’re probably all freaking out right about now.” Especially Natasha and Tony. Or at least freaking out in their own ways. “I just wish,” he paused for a moment. He very seldom let his feelings show but he didn’t mind doing it in front of Wanda since she’d been through the same thing. “I wish we could have gotten Gamora back. The Gamora that knew me. I know she’s still her but she’ doesn’t know me and that feels like a really cruel joke the universe wanted to play on me.”
“I know,” Wanda said quietly. She knew better than most, though, she would have given anything for a past version of Vision to have shown up whether he knew her or not. If only there had been enough time to have separated his consciousness from the Mind Stone. Would he still be here or would Thanos have gone back in time to destroy him before they’d had the chance to finish it. Those were answers she’d never have.
“Maybe she will show up here one day,” she offered. “The Gamora that you knew and who knew you.” People showed up in Atlantis from before their deaths all the time. Pietro had been here for a brief time, and there was no reason it couldn’t happen again for Gamora or for Vision.
As they walked back towards the housing area, Wanda turned to Peter and smiled sadly. “Thank you for the walk. It was nice to be able to get some and clear my head a bit before talking to the others.” She needed to talk to Steve and to Clint. Both of them were likely going to have trouble coming to terms with what happened.