As she was on her way over to Dive, Elle really didn’t know what to expect from the conversation she was about to have with Tommy McConnel. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted to expect from him. Any sort of romantic relationship, whether casual or otherwise, wasn’t on her radar even in the slightest the entire time she’d been in Atlantis - until Breckentale happened. They’d just been having some fun with no expectations or commitments whatsoever, but she wasn’t going to lie and say the companionship aspect wasn’t nice. It was, and it was something she hadn’t realized she’d missed as much as she had from home.
What had happened in Breck had mostly been forgotten other than being friends, but Atlantis apparently had other ideas. Cupid was in town, literally, and apparently decided to step it up a notch. After the effects had worn off, Elle wasn’t sure how she felt about it all. Confused, maybe, but not about Tommy specifically. Ever since Callie had shown up, she’d been thinking a lot more about Trent and the possibility of him ever showing up in Atlantis. That wasn’t the confusing part; people showed up at random all the time. It was whether or not she believed she would be happy to see him.
On one hand, yes, seeing Trent again would be absolutely wonderful, but when she really thought hard about his arrival, Elle wasn’t so sure. She’d had a long time to reflect on her life and the consequences of that life, and a Trent fresh from home wouldn’t have that. Would he have come straight from Azkaban or some earlier point in time? Would he accept that his life would have to be and could be different here? Elle honestly didn’t know the answer to that question. Would she want to be with him again, regardless? She didn’t know the answer to that question either.
The walk from Cava to Dive after her shift was over wasn’t a long one, and once she’d stepped through the entrance, she already saw Tommy occupying one of the booths towards the back. She ordered herself a drink and walked over. “Hey,” she said as she slid into the booth across from him. “Sorry if you were waiting very long.”
What the fuck was going on.
That was what kept running around and around in Tommy’s head, he hadn’t done the whole actual relationship thing since he ditched his girl and his home and his girl ended up marrying his little brother. That was a lifetime ago and in a completely different world.
Tommy wasn’t sure this was a good idea, in fact he was pretty damn well sure that he shouldn’t be getting into anything that involved connections and feelings but Elle Spinnet had managed to get under his skin, not that he’d believe it.
“Not that long,” he answered sitting up a little straighter and staring at her as he lifted his beer and took a sip. “Seems this is the sort of conversation that goes better over a drink.”
Elle lifted her brows a bit as she took a drink. He wasn’t wrong. She certainly wouldn’t have wanted to do this conversation without a drink in her hand if, at the very least, it gave her something to do with her hands and offered the chance to pause the conversation for a moment for one or both of them to gather their thoughts.
The thing was, though, she wasn’t sure where Tommy’s head was at when it came to talking about this, and she was hardly the one who wanted to take the first leap. Technically, she figured she already had. So, she threw the ball back into his court instead.
“Well, we’re both here,” she started after another drink. “What I said is still true. You don’t have to worry about me peppering you with expectations.”
Tommy tilted his head, he was pretty sure she’d said something about commitment, that had expectations right? He wasn’t really sure how he felt about it but at the same time, he had other feelings he wasn’t really sure he was understanding either.
“Except for commitment,” he clarified, it was almost phrased as a question but he wasn’t really sure it came out the way it was supposed to. “I think that’s doable.” He said a little bit softly.
A brief flash of confusion crossed Elle’s face but she didn’t say anything at first. Something wasn’t quite right here, and she realized soon that he’d misunderstood her. Bloody hell, she thought to herself and almost had to laugh in spite of it all but didn’t. Instead, she just smiled a little at this second reply. That, she hadn’t expected, and she wasn’t completely sure what that meant.
“We may have gotten a few of our wires crossed,” she said quietly. “Earlier, when I said I didn’t expect that type of relationship… I meant that I didn’t expect commitment. Not that it was the sort I was necessarily looking for.” She’d already gone down that road once before and wasn’t certain how she felt about finding that again. She wasn’t necessarily opposed to the idea, but it was easier and less complicated to take the option off the table.
Elle tilted her head a bit. “Is that something you would want?”
Tommy was so confused, but wasn’t that what? He really didn’t completely understand what he wanted and he didn’t really get what she wanted.
“What are you looking for?” Tommy asked pretty much ignoring her question because he didn’t want to answer the question because he wasn’t really sure how he wanted and he was going to figure out what she wanted before he answered anything else.
“Honestly? I don’t know,” she said as truthfully as she possibly could. “I’ve done this before, the committed relationship.” She motioned between the two of them as she spoke. “I was with my daughter’s father for years, but we weren’t exactly a traditional couple by any stretch of the imagination.” Or maybe, when it came to their romantic relationship, they were more than she realized. They still did care about one another, but it wasn’t always shown in the most normal ways.
Would she go back to him if she showed up tomorrow? She didn’t know for sure, but the feeling in her gut wasn’t one that made her very comfortable. She’d changed a lot over the last year or two, and Trent would have been coming from a time that they were still together and engaged in activities she only thought about every now and again. It was hard not to miss the rush of a successful job.
“I suppose it’s not something I ever expected to have happen here. This and you,” she said with a quirk of a smile. “Wasn’t expected.”
“I almost got married once,” he offered with a shrug leaning back crossing his arms across his chest. “It didn’t stick for a lot of reasons,” those reasons being a lot more complicated. It wasn’t anything he wanted to get into right now. This conversation was awkward enough for him for the time.
“Well,” he paused unsure where to go forward, neither one seemed to know what the bloody hell to do next.
“Suppose we could try the,” he waved a hand between them. “Thing, but no promises it’ll work.”
The admission of his near-missed marriage did surprise Elle. She didn’t know a lot about Tommy outside of their lives in Atlantis since they hadn’t gotten to the point of discussing past relationships or the more personal parts of their lives in their home worlds. He didn’t say anything else about it, though, so she didn’t press.
Try the thing. Elle couldn’t help but smile a little; it probably was a little amusing at how awkward this conversation seemed, but she strangely didn’t mind so much. She picked up her drink and paused before taking a sip. “I think I could be okay with that,” she said. “See how things go.”
Tommy nodded as if that settled everything. “Okay, we see how it goes.”