Interviews can be hard on the subject, but often times they can also be difficult for the one holding the pen and pad in their hands jotting down responses. Usually it's because you're worried about getting to the truth and making sure your facts are just that - facts. But this interview was difficult for another reason for me. I had to put my investigative reporter hat away and not as the dozens of questions I'd wanted to ask someone like Clint Barton for years.
Although we'd never met, Barton is someone I'd heard up and seen in the news since the Battle of New York. An Avenger and former SHIELD agent. My editor would have been salivating at the mouth at the potential for that one.
Nevertheless, much to your possible dismay (and Mr. Barton's relief), I didn't hound him with questions that he no doubt would have bypassed and side-stepped with easy but instead sat down with him for a casual drink to get to know the man, Clint Barton, a little better.
KAREN PAGE: Let's start this out with the basics. What's your full name?
CLINT BARTON: I'd plead the fifth on this one, but there's too many people here with blackmail material. Clinton Francis Barton.
KP: Hey, there's totally nothing wrong with that name! Do you have a name preference or something you prefer to be called?
CB: Clint, Hawkeye, Barton. I'm flexible.
KP: How long have you been in Atlantis?
CB: Just over a year now.
KP: Okay, now to get a little more personal... what's your age?
CB: Forty-eight. Or so.
KP: Or so. I might need to fact check that one.
Where exactly did you come from? As in, what world were you from before arriving in Atlantis?
CB: So not "Iowa"? Earth, with the Avengers. I hear there's more than one of those.
KP: We might not have all known one another, but there's really a lot of us from that world. I have to admit that it's kind of crazy seeing you all in person.
What sort of job did you have before coming here?
CM: Retired SHIELD agent and Avenger.
KP: How does your job here in Atlantis differ from home?
CB: Getting shot at, psychos who want to destroy the universe - pretty much similar.
KP: I'd say that checks out. We even have the creatures from other worlds us part covered.
Jumping in with a juicy question - are you involved with anyone in Alantis?
CB: My partner is here. She's - you could say it's been awhile, and you could say it's pretty new.
KP: Are the two of you serious?
CB: You could say serious.
KP: Do you have any furry friends here?
CB: Not furry. I picked up a little dino after a mission earlier this year. And Nat has her mini cow.
KP: A dinosaur, really? I might want to meet the little guy sometime.
This list is probably a mile long, but what might be the strangest moment or thing that's happened to you in Atlantis so far?
CB: I was a button. On - yeah - I was a button.
KP: A button? That has to be strange even for Atlantis standards.
KP: What's been your best moment in Atlantis so far?
CB: Getting to talk to some people I wouldn't have again.
KP: What about your worst moment here?
CB: That day all the cheeseburgers disappeared. Thought I'd never survive it.
KP: No cheeseburgers. That's some next level torture.
Okay, aside from the unexpected departures, what's something about Atlantis that you wish were different?
CB: More skyscrapers. Better for the view.
KP: If you could change jobs in Atlantis, regardless of qualifications or skills, what would it be?
CB: Shop teacher maybe? Or P.E.. I didn't do too bad in Breckentale.
KP: A lot of people I've spoken with didn't seem to mind the posititions they had in that reality. From what I've heard, it wasn't so bad most of the time.
What's the piece of home you miss the most?
CB: My kids. L - my kids.
KP: That has to be the hardest part about being here - missing them.
Okay, these next several are just for fun. Who would be the first person you'd call if you needed to bury a body?
CB: Nat. Then Coulson.
KP: Flip it. Who would be the first person that would call you if they needed to bury a body?
CB: Nat.
KP: If you could have any superpower what would it be?
CB: I always wanted laser vision.
KP: What did you dress up for Halloween last year?
CB: Frank'n'furter. A few of us hit the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
KP: Rocky Horror! One of my favorites.
What body part might you not mind losing and why?
CB: My hair. It's probably going to go anyway.
KP: What might a scene in the gag reel of your life look like?
CB: A certain agent who won't be named replaced all my exploding arrows with bubble arrows before a demonstration at the Academy. It's funnier now.
KP: To be a fly on the wall at the Academy. So many stories.
What reality show most resembles your life?
CB: Big Brother, apparently.
KP: What advice might would you give to your younger self?
CB: Don't take everyone at face value.
KP: Something we all could have stood to learn earlier in life, I'll bet.
It's time for a little bit of 'this or that.' Just say what you think of first.
KP: Dogs or cats?
CB: Dogs.
KP: New York or Los Angeles?
CB: New York.
KP: Hot or cold?
CB: Cold.
KP: Tea or coffee?
CB: Coffee.
KP: Hell yes, coffee. Pancakes or waffles?
CB: Pancakes.
KP: Early bird or night owl?
CB: Night owl.
KP: Chocolate or vanilla?
CB: Chocolate.
KP: Beer or wine?
CB: Beer.
KP: Comedy or horror?
CB: Comedy.
KP: Ass or legs?
CB: Legs.
KP: A legs man. I like it.
Just a few more to wrap things up. What's something about you that people in Atlantis probably don't know?
CB: I can do a plié. The circus gives you strange skills.
KP: I'll bet it does.
If the war ended today, would you choose to stay or leave?
CB: It isn't over yet.
KP: If you were to unexpectedly leave Atlantis, how do you want to be remembered?
CB: Greatest Marksman in Atlantis. That's for you, Queen.
KP: Uh-oh. I'd sure like to see the two of you in a shooting competition someday.
Last one - is there anything else you'd like to tell the rest of Atlantis?
CB: Never trust a mime.
KP: Solid advice, I'd say.
There may or may not have been a few additional questions as after the first round of drinks - off the record of course, but I'll leave it to everyone's imagination whether or not those questions were answered with any juicy details of grit and heroics from Barton's countless missions. The movies and various other materials recounting our lives don't tell us everything, of course.
Juicy details or not, I'd like to thank Mr. Barton for my very first interview with one of earth's mighty
Avengers. He's charming yet still holds his secrets close as any man in his position should be. I look forward to getting to know not only him but the rest of you better the longer I'm here.
Stay tuned for more Atlantis Interviews coming soon. ♠️
[ooc: Sorry for the double post! I realized when I got home today that when you try to click on page two of the second interview, it defaults to page two of the first. There goes trying to save your friends' pages. ;) And I have no idea why they look wonky in mobile view, but if you're on a desktop it should look ok! My copy/paste coding skills don't extend that far. <3]