Being a mother is something Emily had memories of for a while now, but she’d never actually felt like one until Dinah, her daughter with Sara, had shown up in Atlantis. Grace and Lily were back home with Ali and another version of her, but she’d never officially met them. She hadn’t lived their births but only had implanted memories of them in her mind thanks to the memory upgrade a year or so ago. She might not have lived Dinah’s birth either - not yet - she still was able to talk to her and hug her. She was so beautiful and talented. Selfishly, Emily wanted her to be able to stay in the past, but she knew it was unfair of her to ask that. She had a good life in her version of Atlantis and two brothers that were still in her time.
That didn’t mean Emily wasn’t going to take advantage of the time she had with her now while she was here though. She’d already been cooking up a storm and baking extra Christmasy goodies. Christmas was Emily’s absolute favorite time of year, and she was excited to be able to share this year with her daughter.
She was finishing up a mug of apple cider when she heard the knock at the door. She padded across the room to open it up, letting Dinah inside the house. She gave her a quick, tight hug and smiled. They’d made plans to go out shopping, and she was really looking forward to it.
“So, I made some cider earlier if you want some before we leave or to take to go. I swear I could drink a whole pot of this stuff if I didn’t stop myself.”
The past was weird, and Dinah wasn’t really sure where she fit into it. It seemed like some of the other people who came back in time were blending in really well, but Dinah, she felt a little out of place. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just who she was, and she missed her siblings. It was weird being anywhere without them. She was starting to wonder if she was too dependent on them.
She was pulling at the edges of her sweater as she waited for her much younger mother to open the door. Smiling she came in and could smell the rush of sugar and holiday smells. Smiling, it felt good to know that some things were the same.
“I’d love some cider,” she said almost automatically as if it was something she said a lot. “And we can take it to go, it’ll keep us warm.” She glanced around. “Did you make those snowflake sugar cookies?”
Emily smiled and reached up for a mug to pour Dinah her own cup of cider. Her eyes widened for a moment at the cookie question and she shook her head. It was so weird having someone who already knew you so well even down to Christmas cookie traditions. “No, not yet. I’d thought about it, but decided to hold off. I do have fudge, ginger cookies, chocolate-covered peanuts, and the cinnamon rolls are still rising in the fridge,” she said and handed over the steaming mug.
“We can do the cookies today if you want! Either before or after shopping, whichever you like.” They were cookies she’d grown up making with her own mother, so the chance to make them with her daughter from the future would be pretty amazing.
Dinah smiled, she didn’t know if her mom still did things the same way or if things were different and she hadn’t started the tradition yet. She sometimes wondered when those things start.
“It’s probably a good thing Mick isn’t here, he’d eat all the dough before we even got a chance to make any.” She shrugged mentioning one of her brothers with ease. “But I’d love to make cookies, and even if we don’t get to the shopping, it’s sort of our thing, making sugar cookies.” She smiled.
“Well, then we’re definitely making cookies.” Emily said with a sip of her cider. Sugar cookies were fairly simple to make, so she was sure they already had the ingredients there at the house. “I did that too! Eating the dough. I used to try to sneak it when I didn’t think my mom was watching, but I’m pretty sure she knew and didn’t say anything.”
Emily started collecting the ingredients from out of the cabinets and pantry as she spoke and reached up for one of the mixing bowls up top. “I’m glad I was able to pass on a lot of my old family traditions to you guys. I wish you could have met my parents, your grandparents, but I hope I at least told you about them.” It was a little hard to imagine that she’d stayed here for as long as she had after the war was over, what with Dinah being nearly grown, but if she’d had such a happy life here then why not?
“Mick will eat all of it if left alone with it,” Dinah said only in a way a sister could judge her brother. She liked dough just fine, but she actually liked making the cookies and eating cookies, not just dough.
Dinah smiled softly. “Me too, but you passed a lot of stuff on to us, and we have seen pictures.” She offered hoping it would make her mom feel better about it. “Atlantis is weird, there aren’t a lot of people who get the chance to know more of their family.” She could only think of one or two people that actually met their grandparents.
“Good, I’m glad.” Emily smiled. She was glad that at least she’d been able to pass on a little of her parents to her children. There had been a couple rough patches between her and her mother, but overall she’d always been very close to both of her parents but especially her dad. He’d always been one of her biggest heroes in the uniform and out of it.
Passing off a couple of the ingredients to Dinah, she started measuring out some of the others and combined them together. It was clear that Dinah knew exactly what she was doing, so she stepped aside to find the rolling pin and some of the Christmas cookie cutters.
“Have you thought about whether or not you want to stay or go back to your time?” She asked after a quiet moment. Setting down the cookie cutters, she paused and gently laid a hand on her daughter’s arm. “And it’s no pressure at all. I promise. I’d understand wanting to go back to your time. As much as I love getting to know you, I’m sure it’s confusing and strange being here.”
Dinah paused in what she was doing to help and looked up at her mom. “I’ve thought about it, staying, but,” she paused unsure how to say what she was thinking. “I think I’ll probably go back, not because I don’t want to be here with you both, but I miss my brothers.” She thought honesty was the best option given the situation.
“The past is good, it’s interesting to see, I know some people are staying and they’re more of the kind that can fight,” Dinah wasn’t that kind of person. “And if either of my brothers were here they’d probably stay, but I feel like I’d just been wondering what they were doing without me, and I know it wouldn’t really be without me, but it would feel that way to me.” She wasn’t sure any of this was making sense.
“I can understand that,” Emily said, nodding. “It so weird to think about how all of these timelines work. Here, your time in the future, and even back home. Sometimes I wonder what my friends are doing without me even though it’s like you said, they aren’t really without me.” Emily would have been lying if she said she’d never considered going back. She thought about it after Aria and Mona left and then also after she’d gotten her new memories. Not just her relationship with Alison but her two daughters. She only had a glimpse of them and wondered what they were like.
“I’m not the type that helps on the fighting side of things either, so I get it.” Managing a coffee shop and supplying the various base personnel with their coffee addictions was the closest she usually got. “But I’m still very glad that I was able to meet you.” She smiled and leaned in for a huge, careful not to spill anything on the counters.
“Do you ever think about going back?” Dinah asked. There was no judgement in her voice or worry, she knew well enough by now that timelines were weird, and she knew things could change. She wouldn’t blame her if she had wanted to, or still did sometimes.
Smiling she nodded. “I’m glad I got to come back and see the past.” Not that she was actually going to remember it, she was still really pleased she’d been able to be here.
Emily paused for a moment while she tried to think what she wanted to say. After a moment, she nodded. “Sometimes. Not as much lately, but I received some memories about a year ago, maybe a little longer, that made me think about it. I don’t think I ever seriously considered leaving, but it did cross my mind a few times. Then not long after that a couple friends from home that were here, Aria Montgomery and Mona Vanderwaal, they left. I’ve not really thought about it in a while, though,” she added with a small smile.
One of the best parts of being in Atlantis was the absence of A. According to her memories, A was supposed to have been found out and stopped, but they’d thought that more than once before. Without additional memories, it was hard to know if she was really gone or not.
“But I love my life here in Atlantis. It can be crazy sometimes, but it’s become home even if I miss my friends and my mother.” She smiled again. “I love your mom, and I have other friends here I never would have met otherwise.”
Dinah nodded, she remembered hearing stories about friends from home, from both her moms and wondered what it'd be like to meet them. Dinah always thought she'd get along with Aria. "I guess being here means you wouldn't have the chance of running into A again, or I guess hopefully not." Yes, Dinah had learned about A, some of it had been her own research or her brothers who showed her things.
"I'm glad you two found each other, and not just because it means I'm here," she smiled softly. Well, maybe it was a little bit partly selfish. "Atlantis sure is a unique place." That was for sure.
"Should we start cutting shapes?" She asked directing her attention back to the cookies.
“Hopefully not,” Emily agreed. Her guard was down as much as it ever could be here in Atlantis regarding A’s appearance, but she always lived with knowing that anything was possible especially in Atlantis.
She smiled and looked down at the dough that had been spread out on the counter. Nodding, she picked up couple of the cookie cutters - a rocking horse and a star. “These two are my favorites.” They weren’t overly Christmasy, but that’s what the red and green sprinkles were for later. She passed the horse over to Dinah and grinned. “Ready, set, and cut.”
Grinning she took the horse and copied her Mom. “Ready, set, and cut!” Dinah really wished she’d be able to remember this when she got back to her time but she knew that she probably wouldn’t.