William Laurence (moreliberty) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2018-11-04 11:21:00 |
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November 4, 2018
My dear Tenzing Tharkay,
I must start off with an apology, for not being brave enough to write all of this in person. I know a confession of sorts is always better in direct person, but I admit that I worry overly about what you may reply. It is easier to hide my face and then we may pretend this did not happen, should you feel differently than my own feelings.
I did not expect you, Tenzing. I have always been thankful for you, though. Our lives have been entwined for so long that I do believe I have taken advantage of such kinship to an unfair degree, and have simply been far too content to let things sit on the surface.
So I do hope you will forgive my boldness, and my presumptive nature, when I confess feelings more than friendship. When I tell you that the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I look to you is like none I have felt before. When a look is not just a look but a wish for something more. When love takes on a new meaning. When I know that I am going too far and yet cannot bring myself to stop writing.
Your friendship is very important to me. It has kept me silent for some time, as I sort through feelings I did not even realize I had - feelings that I were sure were improper, or just my own imagination. I have no idea how to act on these desires, as I am wholly out of my mind with confusion and want. But I cannot remain silent any longer, not when I look at you and long.
But I will not force my hand, nor will I allow non-reciprocated feelings to intercept or harm our friendship. You are most important to me, as we are, and should you not return this affection, I would not hold it against you. I just cannot go on without being as wholly honest to you as we have always been in the past.
Should you not reciprocate, I would appreciate the burning of this letter and we shall never speak of it again. But should you think on it and have possibly the inkling of what I feel in your own self, I will be available all of today to receive you.
With great respect and affection,
W. Laurence