First Filter
It may be that he has to want to meet us, but he doesn't know we are even here. What happens on a certain day when he decides to break from his usual schedule and walk into the same coffee shop as either one of us? We won't even be prepared. I'm not taking responsibility for that.
He doesn't need to confront either of us. He just needs to know the truth. And I know it won't be fixed overnight, but it has to begin at some time.
Since when does James Kirk have PTSD, anyway? He's the Captain of the Starship Enterprise.