It's understandable why you held back on that end. At least at the start of things. But being open to something else between you two doesn't make you a bad friend.
I How crazy is it that I feel like I'm still worrying about that even now? I woke up this morning with his hair in my face and his leg cutting off the circulation to my thigh, and all I could think was this isn't for me to have. Which, well. I have no idea what that was. But, you know, it was always going to be him. My heart always came back to him. Even self-centered twenty-five year old me figured that out.