DAISY JOHNSON + PHIL COULSON
PG | COMPLETE
Warnings for near death, grief, etc.
Daisy had come to terms with Coulson’s impending death as much as anyone could expect her to, but that didn’t mean she was okay with it, not by a long shot. Especially since Atlantis wasn’t home. He hadn’t been willing to survive at the expense of saving the world, fine, but in Atlantis there had to be another way. People had died and come back here. Those near death had been healed multiple times. And she’d be damned if she was going to just let him go without a fight when there was any other option.
When she’d rushed to medical the yesterday, Coulson had still been unconscious. She’d stayed at his bedside, anyway, for a while, and she hadn’t been alone in that, but eventually Jemma had convinced her to go home and get some rest, promising to call her if there was any change. Daisy had wanted to argue, but she’d reluctantly nodded and left medical to grab something to eat and get a little bit of sleep, not that sleep had really come that easily.
The instant she’d gotten the message that he was waking up, Daisy rushed back to medical and burst into his room. Her expression was a mixture of anger and relief, with a little fear added in, too. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to hit him or hug him.
Coulson felt like he'd been hit by a truck. Jemma had explained that through a mix of magical and traditional means, they would be able to undo the effects of his deal with Robbie, but that it would take time. Time that they had, apparently. They healers had managed to stop the progression at least immediately. Even though he'd been unconscious for days, it was still a bit of a struggle to keep his eyes open, but he managed a small smile when he saw Daisy's face.
"You're back…" he said hoarsely, his face still somewhat pale. "You missed your birthday. Jemma was planning a party…"
“Yeah, I’m back.”
Daisy’s arms were crossed in front of her as she looked at him. He looked better. Still pale and weak, but better than he had. It was a good sign that everything they were doing here was working.
“I’d ask if you were ever going to tell me, but I already know the answer,” she said. Maybe he hadn’t been this bad before, but she knew what point he’d come to Atlantis from. It was after the deal he’d made with Ghost Rider, which meant he’d known this whole time. Both here and at home, he’d waited until he had no choice to tell them the truth.
“I hope you know May and I are drawing lots to see who gets to kick your ass first.”
“I’m glad you’re back,” Phil said weakly, reaching out to squeeze her hand. “Happy birthday too..”
Coulson leaned back against the pillows, sighing heavily. He knew nothing he could say would convince Daisy that his method made sense. “Some things are inevitable, Daisy. Plus, it wasn’t the first time…” He wouldn’t trade his time with his bus crew for anything, but the process Nick had used on him had been torture. And he didn’t want the team to go through any absurd lengths to try and save him.
“In my defense, things had seemed stable here up until Sunday..”
“In your defense? Are you serious?” It felt like she’d had this fight with him before, but apparently that didn’t make her any less angry. “That’s crap, because if it was any one of us - if it was me or May or any other person on our team and we lied to you about something like this, you’d be pissed and you know it.”
Pulling her hand back from his, she took a step back. “Maybe you’re ready to die, but we aren’t ready to lose you and you weren’t going to even give us a chance to- to process it. Hell, to say goodbye. If you’d had your way, we wouldn’t have even known it was happening until you were already gone. After everything we’ve been through, you owed us more than that.”
Phil's face fell when Daisy took a step back. You weren't supposed to have favorites, but she was his. He loved her like she was his own daughter. And he wanted nothing more than to see her succeed. He knew she was probably right. He expected full disclosure from his team. Which was partially the way he liked to lead, but he knew he wasn't always completely honest with them. Of course, part of that was due to spending decades working for a hierarchical secret government organization.
He gave Daisy a look. "And if I'd have told you, you'd have tried to stop it. Even if I didn't want you to. I should have told you," Phil admitted as he closed his eyes and sighed. "Maybe the real reason I didn't was because I was a coward. And I didn't want to say goodbye."
“That doesn’t make it okay,” Daisy said, but her glare softened a little bit. She guessed not wanting to say goodbye was okay as reasons went, even if she still wasn’t okay about being left in the dark.
"I know," Phil said quietly. "I promise, as soon as they let me out of here, you can punch me as much as you want."
“I think May has first dibs on kicking your ass,” she admitted, half-teasing. “Or maybe we agreed to take turns. I’m not really sure.”
"I promise to dutifully submit to all punches and ass kicking as soon as Jemma clears me," he said with a bit of a smirk. Phil reached out his hand, hoping to pull Daisy in for a hug. "I'm sorry, Daisy. There was no good option in my book, and maybe that was wrong. But how could I say goodbye to the best thing to happen to me in my life. You're incredible, Daisy. And I couldn't be more proud of who you are."
There was a teary-eyed smile at his words, but Daisy shook her head. “It wasn’t just about you saying goodbye. It was about giving me the chance to say goodbye. You’ve been almost like a father to me since we met and you were just going to die on me without giving me any chance for closure. That wasn’t fair to me, to May, to anyone else on the team.. We deserved better than that."
"I know," Phil said quietly, his own eyes getting a bit wet at her words. "So, we've established that I was an inconsiderate ass in my attempt to protect you." Wry humor was the only way he knew how to deal with this. "But it seems that no one needs to say goodbye now. Thank the Powers that Be for Atlantis, eh? Seems me and my dad jokes aren't going anywhere anytime soon."
It felt like she just had said goodbye to him before coming back to Atlantis to find him unconscious in medical and it almost seemed impossible that he was really going to be okay here after she’d finally accepted that she had to let him go, but she nodded. She knew in Atlantis miracles could happen. They could fix things that sometimes seemed unfixable and if he was one of them, she wasn’t going to fight it.
“Geez, they couldn’t have fixed the horrible sense of humor while they were at it?” she teased him.
Phil smiled. It might take Daisy awhile to forgive him, but they’d be okay. “Nope. I think you’re stuck with it.”